Dangerous Beauty: Part Two: A Mafia Princess (21 page)

Anastacia saw Carter’s hesitation to continue, but urged her on anyway. “Carterina, continue. Mama needs to know this.”

Carter nodded sadly and met her mother’s eyes once again. “That’s when I started to hate you,” she whispered. “I tried to change who I was because I didn’t want to be alone. I hated myself. I hated my face. I hated everything. I didn’t want to talk to Daddy about it because I didn’t want him to get mad again. I didn’t want him to leave me. The day we argued, he left and didn’t come back for a couple of days. When he did come back, it was like nothing had happened. He even tried to bring you up a couple of times, but I wasn’t interested anymore. He asked me why, but I didn’t want to rehash the way we had yelled at each other. We said such hurtful things to one another. But I forgave him. I thought that maybe you had hurt him or something, but it didn’t make any sense.” She shook her head. To this day, she couldn’t make sense of her father’s actions.

Anastacia ran her hand tenderly over Carter’s hair, and Carter looked into her eyes once again. Her mother’s actions were nurturing and loving, but her eyes were completely emotionless. “Carterina, don’t stop talking. Tell me what you don’t understand.”

Carter bit her bottom lip nervously and nodded. “When I was ten, I asked him about you, and he seemed happy I’d brought it up. He told me that you were French. Then I started to study French. I thought he liked that, but sometimes he seemed to hate it. When I started playing with knives, he told me that you had the same fascination. He explained that the two of you had similar occupations. After I asked him if I was French, too, he said that I had been born in America.” Carter laughed through her tears. “But one day, he came home early from a trip and told me— out of nowhere— that I was to never ask about you again. He said that you were gone and were never coming back. I was forbidden to ask about you.” Carter wiped the tears from her face. “I didn’t understand why. He was the one who had fed my obsession with you in the first place, but I was obedient, and I didn’t ask— until I turned fifteen. That’s when we had the fight.”

“Did you and your father have fights like that often, Carterina?”

Carter shook her head no. “No, never. That was the first and last time. He was a good father,” Carter defended. She felt like she needed to defend her father. She had never told the story because she didn’t want to paint her father in a bad light. The bad times were not very often. He was the proud, adoring father most of the time, especially when he was teaching her to defend herself. Those were the times they had laughed the most. “I promise you— the bad times were nearly nonexistent. And after that big fight, the bad times completely stopped. We never argued, and he was my dad all the time— every day until his death.”

Anastacia nodded her head and smoothed Carter’s hair away from her face. “Shhh, I know, baby. I know how wonderful your father was, trust me.” She held Carter’s face in her hands. “Listen to me, baby girl.” Carter nodded. “Your father loved you more than anything. It did not cause him any pain to see your face, but he was always afraid of what might have happened to you because of your resemblance to me. I have many enemies, and they would go straight for my heart— you— to get my attention. What you saw in his eyes was not disgust or resentment, it was fear and worry. We wanted you to be safe at any cost. And that fight? Well, let’s just say that I was very good at pissing your father off,” she said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Carter nodded her understanding, happy to have a little clarity after all these years.

Anastacia hugged her close. “I love you so much, honey.”

Carter could see that she had shaken off whatever emotion she had been hiding.

She decided to forget her curiosity and relax into her mother’s warmth. It was her birthday after all. There was no need to get too deep in to feelings and unanswered questions today. When they broke the hug, Carter held on to her mother’s hand remembering that she wanted to ask her mother a question. She knew her mother had extensive knowledge about the criminal underworld, and what it was like to live in it, and Carter had woken up this morning with a question on her mind.

“Mama,” Carter whispered staring down at her mother’s hand. A light tap of Anastacia’s finger on her chin alerted Carter to lift her eyes. “Can I ask you a question about…stuff?”

Anastacia frowned in confusion. “Stuff?”

Carter nodded. “I mean, you know, this stuff that we are into. The whole mysterious ‘criminal underworld’ thing…”

Anastacia chuckled. “You seem so uncomfortable, baby girl.”

Carter frowned. “I’m not,” she said defensively. “Can I just ask you, please?”

Anastacia nodded. “Go ahead honey.”

“Well, it’s about my friend, Jenna.” Whom Carter seemed to be talking to less and less lately. It wasn’t because she didn’t love her, because she did. Carter was just positive she had no control over what was happening in her and Jenna’s relationship. “We used to be best friends- she was like my sister- but lately I’ve been feeling a little…distant.” Carter whispered the last part as sadness overwhelmed her. “Jenna and I used to talk every day-and she would some and stay with Nathan and I every weekend- but after what happened to me…I feel like I’ve been pulling away from her. I’m trying to keep things normal between us, but it seems like every time we talk, I’m lying to her about something. The more I lie to her the greater the distance becomes. I don’t feel like her sister anymore, mama. I feel like a fake…” Carter bit her lip as tears began to stream from her eyes. “And that makes me feel so bad,” she cried. “Because I love her so much, and I remember how it used to be, but it’s just not like that anymore. I feel like an entirely different person…”

“Shhh…” Anastacia soothed. She brought Carter into a comforting embrace. “Carterina, my dear Carterina…” Carter felt her mother take a deep breath. “You have to let it die, slowly baby girl.”

Carter immediately looked up at her confused. “What?” Let what die slowly?

Anastacia sighed and shook her head. “It’s not going to work out, baby girl. You’re getting deeper into this world. Jenna doesn’t belong.”

Carter shook her head, no. That wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She wanted her mother to tell her to try harder, or maybe…tell Jenna the truth. “Mom, I don’t understand. Can’t I just try being honest with her. Jenna loves me, we are like sisters-”

“Carterina,” she said, he voice now firm. “You know better than that. If you thought that was an option, you would have been honest with her long ago. You are slipping deeper and deeper into a world where secrecy is imperative. There will be a time when you can juggle “the real” and “the fake” but you’re not there yet. You’re young, and this is still new. You’ve taken on a lot right out of the gate, baby girl. You are an invaluable asset to a powerful mafia family, and you are an underboss’s wife. You need to choose now which life you will put first. Do you want the past life, of fake identities and bar waitressing? Or do you want the truth…”

“The truth…” Carter whispered. She didn’t even have to think about it. The truth was where Nathan existed. Where ever her husband was, that was where she needed and wanted to be.

“Then protect yourself, baby girl. Protect your husband. This Jenna, is an unnecessary liability. I don’t mean to be so blunt, but this is what it is. Let it fizzle. Soon it will disappear and you will never see her again. You will have friends, Carterina. Jenna just won’t be one of them. You are maturing, growing up. The lies will quickly become irritating and a waste of time, trust me.” She placed her hands on Carter’s shoulders. “It hurts, I know. But you need to shake it off and let her go.”

Carter hesitated to nod her agreement, but she eventually did. She still didn’t know if she was going to take her mother’s advice or not, but she’d definitely think about it. “Okay, mama,” she said. She hugged her mother. “Thank you…”

Anastacia chuckled. “Anytime baby. I know you need time to think about what I said, but know that I’m always here for you…”

“I know,” Carter said with a smile. She didn’t feel better about her “Jenna situation”, but she did have a better understanding of why she felt so distant from her now.

“Come, baby girl. Let’s go get started on this dinner, shall we?” Anastacia said with a smile. She sensed Carter needed to change the subject.

“Can you cook?” Carter asked.

Anastacia made a face and shook her head no. “Hell, no. I’ve always had someone doing the cooking for me. I know you can cook, though, so I’ll just watch you and hand you things as you need them. How does that sound?”

Carter laughed softly and nodded. “That sounds great, Mama.”

As they stood to go back inside, Carter glanced at her mother again. She was still concerned about what had happened in the house between her and Angelo.

“Ma, it’s okay if you need to go find Angelo and talk to him. I know how much I hate it when Nathan and I are in an argument. I couldn’t stand it if he and I were mad at each other for too long. I’d suffocate. You should go find him.”

Anastacia looked at Carterina with a smile. She loved how refreshingly young Carterina and Nathan were. They had a passionate love that Anastacia remembered having with Angelo and Cesare when she was young. There had been a time when she would feel as if she was suffocating if she and Angelo were on the outs, but over the past 14 years, Anastacia had learned how to deal with separation from him. It wasn’t easy, but she’d managed. And although her love for Angelo had never ceased, she had managed to fall in love with another during their separation.

Anastacia began to lead Carterina into the house. “Sweetheart, you may be surprised to hear this after what you just witnessed, but that fight was nothing for Angelo and me. It could get a million times worse than that. Trust me.”

“Really? That was pretty intense,” Carter said, worried.

Anastacia gave her a reassuring smile. “Yes, really. Now let me see that pretty outfit.”

Carter smiled and did as her mother asked. She spun around so her mother could see it, front and back.

Anastacia laughed softly. “I knew that this would look perfect on you,” she said as she straightened out Carter’s outfit. “No one knows what you like better than I do, baby girl.” She tapped her nose. “Remember that. Now bring your behind inside. You have guests coming,” she said as she gave Carter’s ear a tug. Carter smiled at that. It was something that her mother had been doing since their first day together. Carter thought it interesting because Kyle did it, too. The exact same way and the exact same ear— every time.

Carter took her mother’s hand and they went into the house.

***

Nathan groaned. This really sucked. He couldn’t believe what he had just witnessed in the other room. He looked over at his father sitting behind the desk, resting his elbows on the surface, his face in his hands.

Nathan shook his head in disappointment.
For shame, old man. For shame,
Nathan thought. He just couldn’t wrap his head around his father fucking his mother-in-law. Well, there was still a possibility that there was no sex involved in his father’s relationship with Anastacia Stone. Nathan began to wonder if he was just in denial. He shrugged. He would continue his denial until he heard the truth from his father’s mouth.

“Tell me what Kyle and the boys found, Nathan.”

His father had spoken for the first time in twenty minutes, and Nathan chuckled. “That’s what you want to talk about right now?”

“Yes,” he replied, never taking his face from his palms.

Nathan nodded his understanding. He was never one for being pushy. He’d give the old man some time. He sat back and told his father the whole deal, watching as Angelo’s face rose from his palms and fiery rage filled his eyes. Nathan understood. It was exactly the way he had felt when he first found out about the betrayal.

Angelo groaned loudly. “What the fuck is wrong with these men? Do they not appreciate anything? Have we surrounded ourselves with an army of ungrateful motherfuckers?” He stood and paced the floor. “What do we have to do to get through to these greedy sons of bitches?”

Nathan interjected, “Pop, this is a rare occurrence. Betrayal isn’t the norm in our organization. Maybe Mitchell was a master of persuasion,” he said sarcastically. “They all wanted the money— Michael Ricci, the men he used for the ambush, Giovanni, and the men in the latest plot to kill Carter and myself. Once we handle this, the betrayal issue in this organization will be nonexistent, I promise you. Every man will see that money isn’t worth the consequences,” Nathan said confidently.

Angelo stopped pacing and looked at Nathan. “You think we should—”

Nathan nodded. “Yes, we should. I think you should consider having a family meeting.”

“Where?”

“You know where, Pop.”

Angelo laughed darkly. “Nathan, we haven’t used the sanctuary in— hell, I don’t know. You were a kid when I took you to that meeting.”

“I remember it very well. I was 15 years old, and I watched you slaughter all of those men. That was the day you sent a very clear message to the families in New York.”

“I remember,” Angelo said, a glint in his eye. “They thought I would let them get away with fucking with me, taking over my territory, killing my men. I had to teach them a lesson. They haven’t tested me since,” he said. “That was a lesson in respect— and it taught you one of the many ways to gain respect.”

Nathan nodded. “I was basically dead inside anyway. I probably would have killed them all if you would have asked me,” Nathan said matter-of-factly.

Angelo sighed. “Don’t say that, boy. You were not dead inside, you were—” Angelo stopped speaking, realizing he was entering forbidden territory with his son. He promised him years ago that he wouldn’t go where he had almost been about to go.

Nathan caught his father’s near slipup and cleared his throat uncomfortably. He stood from the couch. “Well, don’t worry about it, Papa. I’ll make the preparations. I know how busy you are.”

Angelo nodded in agreement. “I agree. This matter requires a family meeting, indeed. Good work, son.”