Dangerous for You (25 page)

“I don’t need anything from you except to keep your end of it, Lucas. Gabriel stays at Gordon Industries.”

“That’s all?”

“Yes…no.”

Cynical satisfaction colored his tone. “What else would you like to make this transition easier, Emma?”

“I want you to make it up to him, Lucas. He’s going to hate you for this and say the ugliest words he can come up with. Take it. Take it because you deserve it and because he’s going to need his family more than ever. Be a good father to him and not like the one he had.”

“And that’s all?”

“Yes.” I ended the call and carefully placed the phone on the nightstand. Tears flooded my eyes, burning and demanding that I give into their existence. I blinked them back.

There would be more than enough time for crying later.

SEVENTEEN

I lied in bed until seven. A quick shower and then I was back in the bedroom. Staring at the bed, I imagined what would happen if I called Lucas back and told him the deal was off.

“
Lucas? It’s Emma. Go to hell. Marry Embry yourself if you think she’s so good. I’m staying with Gabriel.”

What I imagined was more than enough to make me strip the bed. A few minutes and Gabriel’s bed was remade with fresh sheets. I remembered him teasing me over my military precision when it came to making the bed.

No. Can’t think of him right now.

I didn’t have much time to do what needed to be done so I receded inside myself. Becoming a functioning shell, I called several movers before settling one that could get here by noon. Next, I contacted a storage facility close to the suburbs and paid for a space over the phone. Then I went to the front office and paid for the next four months on my place and opted not to renew my lease.

If it seemed that my actions were well-coordinated…well, they were.

I’d spent the long, sleepless hours over the weekend planning how best to make my move in the shortest period of time. Gabriel’s unexpected flight to Melbourne gave me a window I hadn’t counted on.

Then again, maybe Lucas was the one who opened it up so I could slip out.

Fury flared so strongly I thought I’d get dizzy from it. Gabriel wanted me to trust him to fix this, but I couldn’t. I knew he’d pick me over anything else and then he’d lose his family, legacy, standing, his entire career. Gabriel could never be someone who’d be happy in the background.

He was born to be the center of the world. Keeping him to myself would be the most selfish act of my life. I had to let him go because I loved him.

I only hoped I wouldn’t choke on my martyrdom.

I went into my small storage closet and pulled out all the collapsed boxes I kept in there. After taping them back up, I spent the next several hours methodically packing up everything I owned. Dishes, books, pictures, linens were all neatly separated. I moved my coffee table out of the way and stacked the filled boxes in the middle of the room. Regret washed over me when I closed the box on the books Marie had gifted me. Perhaps she’d want them back once she found out what I’d done to her son.

Again.

I set that one aside. The doorbell rang and it was the two movers I hired. Bit by bit, everything but my clothing and toiletries was put into the small truck. I busied myself with vacuuming, cleaning out the refrigerator, and wiping down all the counters until there nothing left to move.

“Ma’am, we’re done.”

I looked up at the young man, noting he was probably barely over eighteen. He looked so young and I felt so old. I also couldn’t help but hope he made better choices than me when it was his time to really fall in love.

“Okay. You have the address, right? I’ll follow you to the facility so we can get this unloaded.”

I locked up behind me and stared straight ahead. I didn’t allow myself to think about the aftermath of what would happen when Gabriel got word I was gone. For all I knew, Gabriel had already been alerted by security. My phone remained silent with no new texts.

I didn’t deserve to feel disappointed.

Two hours later and I was back at my near-empty apartment. I had three suitcases filled with clothes, one last box of cleaning supplies and household odds and ends, and Marie’s box.

My shell cracked as I walked around my apartment one last time. It’d had been my home for so long, but all I saw was Gabriel. I saw him in the dining area happy to be eating my food. I saw him in my kitchen as he watched me cook, curious as always and filled with questions. I saw him in the living room, long legs sprawled on the couch with me between them.

Wandering to the bedroom, I looked over and saw the guest bathroom. I remembered his decree of “no dangly parts” allowed in there other than his. When I reached the bedroom, I nearly collapsed. Gabriel was everywhere.

How am I going to do this? How can I walk out on him again?

I’d done it before and it froze me for seven years. I thought I had succeeded in moving on, but now looking back I could see I was stuck in that time of Gabriel Gordon. He’d dominated my thoughts so thoroughly there wasn’t room for anyone else.

How would it be now that I’d actually experienced the pure joy of being with him nearly every single day?

A knock on the door saved me from dissolving into a puddle of noisy tears. Hope that maybe Gabriel had come back vied with dread for the same reason. I knew I’d fold if I saw him.

Maybe the doubt should be enough for you to rethink this?

But it was too late for second thoughts. Lucas Gordon’s presence in front of my door was proof.

“What are you doing here?”

Dressed appropriately for the occasion in black, Lucas asked in dulcet tones, “May I come in, Emma?”

I was once more struck by how much he looked like Gabriel. The agony I felt at seeing the similarity between them made me empathize with how truly terrible Gabriel’s childhood must’ve been.

Although this could never compare to what Gabriel went through. And that’s why I can’t let him lose Lucas. Because for all this man’s faults, he loves Gabriel. Enough to hurt him. Just like me.

I waved Lucas in angrily. I didn’t want to share any similarities with him. As soon as the door closed, I demanded, “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t worry, Emma. I’m not here to do you harm—if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not worried about that! I’m worried about what my security detail is going to tell Gabriel when they spot you.”

“They already have. I expect you’ll be getting a call from my nephew shortly.” Lucas walked further into the empty space until he stood in the living room.

“Why are you here?”

“I have to say I was surprised when I was made aware of your activities this morning. You move with purpose. I admire that.”

Now he admired me? Asshole. I shrugged. There was nothing to say.

“Why are you moving away, Emma? I didn’t expect that.”

“Really? You didn’t expect me to move when Gabriel is living right next door?”

He regarded me a second longer than polite. “No, I didn’t. I expected you to leverage that proximity to your advantage.”

Although I wanted to rage at him, I kept my voice colorless. “I don’t play games like that, Lucas.”

“I see that now.” Lucas looked about him and then mentioned, “I could help you hide.”

“Hide?” Fury incinerated what was left of my patience. “He’s not some abusive ex I have to get away from.”

“Then why all this?” Lucas waved at the empty apartment. “It’s rather extreme.”

“I’m not hiding from Gabriel. I’m leaving so I can make it easier for him. Without me around, he’ll be able to clear his mind and see why I’m doing this.”

Lucas nodded once. It was so much like Gabriel I had to look away. “Make him come to his senses. I approve of your tactic, Emma. It should prove to be very efficient.”

Lucas’s friendly smile was the last damned straw. I looked at him squarely. “I could kill you for what you’re making me do to Gabriel. I mean that. If there was any way possible to kill you and not go to jail for it—I’d do it. Right here. Right now.”

“Now
that
is a reaction I didn’t see coming from you.” Admiration flared in Lucas’s pale gaze. “Gabriel doesn’t know this side of you, does he?”

“The fact that he loves you as much as he does is the only thing keeping me from punching you in the mouth. I mean that.”

“There’s no need to be so angry, Emma. You’ll thank me for this eventually. You’ll see.”

“That day will never come. You’re not doing this for anyone but yourself, Lucas, least of all me.”

“You’re wrong, but I don’t care if you believe me or not. Besides, if you’re so furious then why are you leaving?”

I rushed Lucas, uncaring of how he might potentially take my actions. Pointing one finger at him, I hissed, “I love Gabriel more than I love myself—that’s fucking why!”

“So why won’t you stay and fight for him?”

Fuck him for judging me over this! I’m doing exactly what he wanted when he put us in this position.

Through clenched teeth I asked, “Are you going to push Gabriel out of his position if I stay with him?”

“It’ll be the first thing I do when he gets back from Australia.”

“Then you have your answer.”

My cell phone rang. We looked at each other until it fell silent. Lucas’s cell buzzed angrily and then fell silent.

Reluctantly I went to my purse and pulled out my last line of communication with Gabriel. I received a text from him.

Baby, what’s going on? Call me please.

Aware of Lucas’s attention, I kept my expression blank as I texted him back.

Sorry can’t talk. Busy right now. Love you.

I tossed the phone back into my purse. I didn’t even want to think what would happen when I shut it off and changed my number. Doubt plagued me as I thought of how betrayed he’d feel at my actions. Was it fair to take this decision out of Gabriel’s hands?

Lucas has us backed in a corner we can’t get out of. He’ll lose everything else that matters to him if I don’t.

I had to do it. Better this way than years later when Gabriel had burned all his bridges with no way to get back to his real life. He’d managed to move on the first time around, nearly getting engaged. He’d be able to do it again. Probably not with Embry, but he’d find somebody that suited his life much better than I did.

Someone who wouldn’t cost him everything.

Nausea settled in my gut like a stone. I’d been feeling it all morning. It was probably because I hadn’t eaten anything, but the mere thought of food had me breaking into a sweat.

“Here.” Lucas reached into his coat pocket and withdrew an envelope. “This is for you.”

“What is it?”

“Something for your expenses.”

Bitter laughter poured from my throat before dying a brutal death. I snatched the cream envelope and ripped it into pieces. Flinging them in Lucas’s face, I derived spiteful pleasure in seeing his displeasure.

“You can keep your money, Mr. Gordon. I don’t need it or you. Now leave.”

“That was foolish of you, Emma. Pride won’t sustain you through unemployment.”

“You’ll never understand that pride is all someone like me has.”

“Very well. Thank you for being the bearer of reason in this, Emma.”

“You’ll have to forgive me for not accepting your thanks. Now please leave.”

He left without another word. I slammed the door shut and locked it before rushing for the bathroom. My knees hit the tile hard as I lurched over the toilet and heaved out the contents of my stomach.

Once. Twice.

I flushed the toilet and then collapsed on the floor.

There was one thing left for me to do. I had to leave a message for Gabriel, to try to explain why I wouldn’t be here when he got back and why I couldn’t see him anymore.

The dam on my emotions crumbled and I couldn’t hold back anymore. Sprawled on the cold tile, I wept as I’d never wept before.

I’d flown too close to the sun and now all that was left of me were scattered ashes.

Continue Emma and Gabriel’s final adventures in Book IV of the “Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Love” series:

All to Love You – Coming Summer 2014

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