Dangerous Pride (3 page)

“I’m quite sure I can ready my mount without yer help, gentlemen,” Catriona said, uncomfortable at being the object of Calum’s unsettling attentions.  His gaze fell heavily upon her, and she could feel the hair begin to rise at the back of her neck.  Exasperated, she cast him a pointed look, her expression defiant.  “I’ve no doubt my father would be most grateful if you were to join him at the celebration,” she said, her tone commanding.

A dark shadow passed over Calum’s features, but he quickly schooled his expression into a mask of disinterest.  “As you wish, my lady,” he offered as he pushed himself away from the stable wall.  When he reached the door, he turned around to face her again, his face strained with the effort of concealing his anger.  “I bid you be careful,  for you ken no’ who rides in the woods.  It would ne’er do for yer father to see any harm come to you.”

The sarcasm of the man’s words hung heavily in the air as he turned and strode powerfully from the stable, his posture threatening. Forcing herself to dismiss him from her thoughts, Catriona accepted the lad’s help as she settled herself in the saddle and rode quickly through the keep.

The spring air was slightly chilled, and Catriona drew her plaid more tightly around her as she led her horse gently through the grasses.  The ride invigorated her as she rode alongside the burn, feeling calmer and more settled as she listened to the water as it raced over the rocks.  Catriona breathed deeply of the sweet, fresh fragrance of the spring air, anxious to forget the musty, stale odors that pervaded much of the castle.

She followed the burn as it ran along the north side of the castle, then twisted though the pastures and wooded area that surrounded the keep.  From the gradual incline, Catriona could look back to see the crowds still milling about in the yard.  Soon, all the guests and villagers would have made their way to the great hall for the feast
. 
Fortunately, Lady Ana would be so preoccupied with Elizabeth’s demands that it was entirely possible she wouldn’t notice her youngest daughter’s absence.

When Catriona reached a small waterfall carved over centuries in a gorge east of the castle, she gently pulled Lily to a halt.  She led the horse to a small cluster of rowan trees, loosely tethering the mare so she could make a meal of the tall grasses.

Catriona settled herself beside the stream, absently grabbing a handful of small stones to toss into the rushing water.  Her family’s lack of interest in her was always clear enough. At an early age, she had learned to demand nothing from them, and to make her own way in the world.  Without the kindness of people like Annella and her mother – people who loved her unconditionally – it was doubtful that she would have survived her childhood intact.  As she’d grown older, she had been able to forge her own life, largely separate from her family.  Instead of merely existing in the shadow of her beautiful older sister, she had found her place as a healer, a position that had given her a purpose for her life, a chance to feel needed, and even respected.

Lately, that hadn’t been enough.  Catriona couldn’t remember the point at which her feelings had changed; couldn’t pinpoint the time when her feelings had blossomed from those of a shy young girl into the dreams and desires of a young woman.  But she knew in her heart it had been Lachlan who made her feel and desire things she barely understood.  Gradually she had begun to look at him not as a friend, but as a man who created in her a hunger she could neither control nor reconcile.

Though Lachlan was several years older, the kindness he had shown her was such a rarity she had felt bonded with him in a special way, almost from the beginning.  It had been heartbreaking for her when his mother, the daughter of a wealthy Earl from Sussex, had insisted he leave Tolquhon to foster at the home of her favorite brother.

When his uncle’s shipping interests had taken him from England for several months the previous summer, Lachlan had passed much of his time at Boyne Castle with Iain.  Catriona could still remember the day he’d arrived for his first visit after many years.  She’d been numb and awestruck, unable to pull her gaze from his flashing grey eyes and chiseled features.  In the years he had been gone from Scotland, Lachlan had grown into the most beautiful, powerful man she had ever seen.

Catriona had kept her perplexing feelings to herself, embarrassed and ashamed by her reaction.  When he was near, she found herself with a strange, gnawing hunger in the pit of her stomach that she was loathe to explain.  The fact that she had lost the ability to express herself or push her discomfort aside caused her no end of embarrassment and confusion.

It was ironic, then, that the source of her unsettling feelings was now formally betrothed to her own sister, oblivious to her emotions.  What would her life be like once they were wed? she wondered.  How would she manage being forced to watch Lachlan and Elizabeth grow closer, raise a family together?  She knew she’d be nothing more than an eccentric, spinster aunt to her nieces and nephews, someone more to be pitied than scorned.  The thought of a lifetime spent pining for another woman’s husband was almost more than Catriona could bear.

Enmeshed in thoughts of the bleak future before her, Catriona felt the pounding of the horse’s hooves before she heard or saw the animal.  With a resigned sigh, she drew herself up, straightening her skirts as she turned to discover who her father had sent to fetch her home.  It was probably one of the stable lads, or if he was particularly displeased, he might have sent Iain to scold her in his stead.

The sun was at the rider’s back, and Catriona couldn’t identify the silhouette until the man had jumped from his horse.  Her pulse quickened and her knees trembled slightly as she realized the rider was Lachlan, the one man she had least expected to see.  Catriona’s mind raced with possibilities for his presence.  The Earl would never have sent him on a fool’s errand, and certainly not on the day of the betrothal ceremony.  Her heart surged with new hope, thrilling at the possibility that he took more notice of her than she had realized.

“It seems I’m no’ the only one who needed a few minutes of peace and quiet,” Lachlan chuckled, drawing closer to Catriona with quick, sure strides.  He’d left Laeg behind to graze on the grasses, confident the well-trained animal would not stray far.  Though Lachlan looked tired, his features slightly drawn, a gentle smile teased at the corners of his lips.  With a casual wave of his hand, he gestured for Catriona to resume her seat at the edge of the burn.  She silently complied, afraid her voice would betray her nervousness.

Lachlan settled himself on the ground beside her, fixing his gaze on the cascading stream.  “I thought I would suffocate if I spent any longer in that hall.  Yer father has set no limits on either ale or wine, and most of the guests are well into their cups already.  The drunker they get, the more enthusiastic their congratulations.  After a ride and some fresh air I might be able to face them for a few hours longer, but without the respite…” his words trailed off as he shrugged his powerful shoulders.

Catriona’s eyes flew up to search his face.  “I ken how you feel,” she replied nervously.  “I could no’ bear to be around the crowds any longer myself.”  Catriona took a deep breath, and steeled herself to ask the question that she was burning to have answered.  “Is that why you came here to the burn – were you looking for me?”

Lachlan chuckled softly, turning to meet her gaze.  “Nay, it was too busy for me to notice who was there and who was no’.  I just needed to get out from under yer sister’s thumb for a while.”

It wasn’t the answer Catriona had been hoping for, but his words were spoken with such good humor that she couldn’t take offense.  Still, she reasoned silently, it was possible he had indeed sought her out, but was too embarrassed to admit that fact.  Catriona forced herself to stop fidgeting, and instead, summoned her dwindling reserve of courage as she turned to face Lachlan.  “I canna help but see you are out of sorts today, my lord,” she said, gaining steam as she went on.  “What I mean to say is that I’m sure it must be difficult for a man in yer position.”

Lachlan said nothing in response for several long moments.  His expression was bemused as his grey eyes studied her intently, taking in her mussed skirts and the telltale stain that had colored her cheeks. “Now, what would a wee lass ken of a man’s position – my position, to be precise?” he asked finally.  Catriona ducked her head, unable to meet his gaze any longer.

Lachlan’s condescending tone was as unexpected as it was hurtful.  How dare he assume she was nothing more than a child, with neither the wits nor the wisdom to understand the world around her?  “I am hardly a girl any longer, my lord.  I’ve 16 years now, and I would be grateful if you would cease treating me like a bairn.”  Lachlan’s eyebrows rose slightly, but he merely nodded his agreement.  “I was referring to yer betrothal to my sister,” she said stiffly.  “I understand it is a question of practical necessity, and no’ a love match.”

A snort of contempt was Lachlan’s only reply.  A brief flicker of frustration crossed his tired features.  Catriona watched him intently as he slowly crossed his arms in front of his broad chest.  His eyes were cold when they met hers.  “Regardless of what romantic,
childish
notions you might hold, lass, few marriages are based on aught more than clan loyalties and business.  No’ that this is any concern of yers, of course.  You would do well no’ to meddle in affairs that are no’ yer own, and to keep yer idle thoughts to yerself.”

Catriona could feel her rage building as her cheeks reddened and her stomach began to churn.  “Given all the years we have kent each other, I would rather think I’d earned the right to speak freely.  It is hardly any secret that you and Elizabeth are little more than strangers.  Until our fathers decided on this match, you had barely spoken ten words to her in yer entire life.  And yet yer willing to marry her?”

Catriona felt oddly lightheaded as she struggled to rein in her emotions.  How could Lachlan be so blind to the truth?  Yet he was calm and thoughtful when he met her gaze, any hint of his previous frustration erased from his handsome features.  “You would do well to curb yer tongue before it gets you into trouble,” he said, his tone patient and paternal.  Lachlan paused for a moment, flexing and unflexing his damaged hand as he collected his thoughts.  “It matters no’ how we found ourselves in this position, nor why.  I have responsibilities to my clan, and I am no’ so selfish as to take these obligations lightly.  It is the way of things, lass, and you need no’ get het up about it.”  The grin that slowly spread across his face was rueful.  “Besides, yer sister is rather winsome, is she no’?  A man could get used to her in time.”

Catriona’s tenuous control snapped as she jumped to her feet, anxious to be free of him, and beyond caring what he thought of her.  How dare he be so obtuse?

“That is no’ the point!  You ken as well as I that Elizabeth cares for naught but herself!  How can you be so blind to the fact that she does no’ love you now, and probably ne’er will?”  Her hands were fisted at her sides as her eyes shot daggers at him.  “How can you be so blind to the fact that I actually care for you, while my sister sees you as an obligation?”

The impact of her words took a moment to register in Lachlan’s consciousness, but he reached out to grab her arm with lightening quickness.  He whirled her around, grasping both of her trembling arms as he forced her to face him.  “What do you ken of love and commitment, Catriona?” he demanded, betraying the fact her words had hurt him.  “Yer but a child, with no idea of what is expected of people like us.  I had no’ realized you’d become such a spoiled brat.”

Incensed, Catriona struggled to free her arms from his grasp.  She wanted – no, needed – the satisfaction of feeling the sting of her palm against his cheek.  The more she struggled, the firmer the hold he kept on her.  He drew her closer, clenching her hands together in front of her, his breath hot against her cheek.  “If you think I am a silly girl with a childish view of love, yer sadly mistaken,” she spat out.  Yet as he held her tightly, his furious grey eyes meeting her own gaze, she began to lose herself in the feel of his powerful body pressed against hers.  Before she had time to consider the consequences, she closed her eyes and pressed forward, tentatively covering his lips with her own.  She felt his body go slack, and she took advantage of the opportunity to throw her arms around his neck.  As he stood there, stunned, rooted to the ground, she moved closer until her breasts were firmly pressed against his broad chest.  Her heart raced furiously at her daring, and she wondered if she would die of excitement.

Her satisfaction was short-lived.  Catriona was hauled harshly back to reality as Lachlan reached back to yank her arms from around his neck.  He placed her hands at her sides, and slowly, cautiously took a step back.  His face was impassive, devoid of emotion as he met her stunned expression steadily.  “I shall do you one of the kindest favors of yer life and forget this ever happened,” he said carefully, stepping further back from her as he edged toward his horse.  “That should no’ have happened, and we shall ne’er speak of it again.”

Before she even realized what she was doing, Catriona raced after him, reaching him just as he had grabbed Laeg’s reins.  She would never forget the look of surprise that flashed across his face as she pulled back and used all her strength to slap him soundly.  His eyes flashed furiously at her, and his expression was grim as he slowly and calmly stepped to the side, Laeg’s reins dangling unnoticed in his hand.

Stunned by her own actions, tears sprang to her eyes, clouding her vision.  She couldn’t pull her gaze from Lachlan as he stood there, silently reprimanding her with his cold, dark glare. With a frustrated sigh he turned back to his horse, gaining the animal’s back in a quick, fluid motion.  As he settled upon the horse, he raised his hand, a signal to her to hold her tongue.  “I told you we would speak of this no more.  Do no’ shame yerself further.”  Lachlan gently nudged the horse with his knees, and with a brief look of contempt, he left.