Dangerous Reality (14 page)

‘At Desica,’ Jack replied.

‘Still trying to cover your tracks.’ It wasn’t a question.

Mum and Jack regarded each other. It’s strange to think you can have a deathly hush in a machine room full of noise, but we did. No one spoke for a good few minutes. Finally Jack looked down at the ground. Mum didn’t take her eyes off him. I couldn’t figure out what she was thinking. Her face was a mask.

‘What happens now?’ Jack asked at last.

‘Couldn’t we …’ somehow …’ I began.

‘I’ve already called the police,’ Rayner reminded us all. ‘They’ll be here any moment.’

‘Then it’s over.’ Jack sighed. His whole body slumped as he put his head in his hands.

Mum walked over to him and took his hands away from his face. Jack’s hands dropped to his side. Mum looked into his eyes as if searching for something and Jack didn’t look away, although it looked as if it took all his will power not to do so.

‘Oh, Jack …’ Mum whispered.

‘I …’

Mum shook her head, interrupting him. ‘Don’t say anything.’

Jack’s lips clamped together. Then Mum took Jack’s hands in her own, and a moment later they were hugging each other tight. I walked over to Mum and … and Dad and they both hugged me too.

And behind us, I heard the door open. The police had arrived.

Chapter Twenty

Endings and Beginnings

SO THAT’S PRETTY
much it really. The police arrested Dad and formally charged him. Mum and I were taken to the police station as well. Rayner told us later that with VIMS’ help, Alison’s body was brought to the surface. I kept thinking, hoping,
praying
that it was all a mistake, a misunderstanding. I think a part of me really believed that, until VIMS brought Alison’s body to the surface. Then there could be no doubt.

And after that it’s just a kaleidoscope of images. Faces, mainly. The police, Liam, my teacher, Pops, even some reporters who tried to get an interview. I didn’t realize it at the time, but initially, the police thought Mum was somehow involved in Alison’s death. Mum had to go down to the police station over and over again to make statement after statement. And I didn’t get to see Jack until the trial. That was one of the worst things about the whole business.

The trial was horrible. The prosecutor kept trying to
persuade
the jury that Dad was guilty of murder not manslaughter. He kept bringing in the fact that Dad had sent VIMS after me. I think the fact that Mum and I stuck by him, plus the fact that he saved my life, managed to convince them that Dad wasn’t a murderer. When the jury came back into the court after retiring to consider their verdict, it felt like my heart was revving up until it must surely take off out of my body. I crossed my fingers, willing the foreman to say the right thing.

‘On the charge of murder, do you, the jury, find the defendant, Jack Brickhill, guilty or not guilty?’

‘Not guilty.’

My heart stopped. My breathing stopped. I crossed my fingers tighter.

‘On the charge of manslaughter, do you, the jury, find the defendant, Jack Brickhill, guilty or not guilty?’

The foreman seemed to take for ever to answer. But at last his answer came.

‘Guilty.’

‘No …’ The whisper came out of me in a rush. They couldn’t find Jack guilty. It was an accident. He told them it was an accident. How could they find him guilty? ‘Mum …’

‘Shush.’

We listened to the judge sum up. He spouted on about how even though the jury had found the death of Alison Brickhill to be an accident and involuntary
manslaughter
, the fact that Jack had covered it up for all these years did not help his case. Pops put his arm around my shoulder. I didn’t realize why until tears splashed onto my hands lying in my lap.

The judge sentenced Jack to five years in prison.

And as Jack was being led away, he looked up at us. I wasn’t the only one crying. Mum wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. We left the court room in a daze. D’you know, I don’t remember the next couple of days after that, I really don’t. I think my mind just switched off or shut down or something. I just kept re-living the whole last day in court, over and over.

And blaming myself. Blaming myself for sneaking into Desica for a glimpse at VIMS. Blaming myself for not leaving well enough alone and forcing Jack into thinking he had to get rid of me. Blaming myself for asking Rayner if I could bring VIMS to his power plant.

With Mum’s help and a lot of time, I now realize that it was Dad’s actions, not mine, that had led to their inevitable conclusion. I didn’t really believe that. Not really. Not until Mum showed me one of the letters Dad had written to her.

Dearest Carol
,

I don’t know what to write, what to say to you and Dominic. I’ve let both of you down so badly. I want you
to
know, you can’t hate me any more than I hate myself. I keep looking back to that night and wondering what I could and should’ve done differently. There has to be something. I should’ve gone down to the ground to meet Alison, instead of insisting that she came up to me. I could’ve picked a better time to tell her that I wanted a divorce, instead of just blurting it out in a fit of temper
.

I’m not making excuses. All these years I’ve been living half a life. I’ve always known that somewhere, somehow, my past would catch up with me. It’s just the bitter timing that I resent. Does Dominic hate me? I hope not. I made a dreadful, dreadful mistake, then made things worse by not facing up to what I’d done. I hope that some day you and Dominic can find it in your hearts to forgive me. I know this is asking a lot but I need to know where I stand with you
.

Will you wait for me? Can we carry on from where we left off when I come out of prison, with no more secrets between us? Do you still love me? You can write back with just one word. Yes or no. If it’s no, I’ll understand
.

All my love for ever
,

Jack
.

‘What did you write back and tell him?’ I asked.

‘I haven’t written back yet,’ said Mum.

‘Are you going to?’

At first, I thought that Mum wasn’t going to answer me. ‘I have to give him an answer – one way or another.’

‘What will your answer be?’ I asked.

‘What d’you think it should be?’

‘You still love him, don’t you?’

Silence stretched out between us like boundless elastic.

‘Yes,’ Mum said at last.

‘Well,’ I said carefully. ‘There’s your answer then.’

Mum took the letter out of my hands and stared at it for several moments. Then she walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

I’ve had a lot of time to think, over the year that Dad’s been in prison. Why do I still call him Dad? Because that’s how I think of him – in spite of everything that’s happened. He’s still my dad. VIMS was an ‘it’, then a ‘him’, then an ‘it’ again. But it doesn’t work that way with people. It doesn’t work that way when thoughts and feelings and hopes and fears come into the picture – and maybe that’s just as well.

Mum and I are hoping that Dad will be out of prison in another two years, with time off for good behaviour. And as soon as he comes out, he and Mum are planning to get married straight away. I can’t wait. We visit Dad once a month but it’s not enough. Not really. I miss him
every day
. But however much I miss him, I know Mum misses him more. Sometimes, in the early hours of the morning, when the house is still, I can hear Mum crying. I want to go to her and tell her everything will be OK. That Dad will be out soon. But I know that that would just make her feel worse. So I lie in my bed, waiting for her to stop crying so that I can then drift off back to sleep.

And what has this whole thing taught me? Well, for a start I now realize that sometimes things just happen and there’s nothing you can do about it. I’ve stopped beating myself up over the fact that Matt Viner is no longer my friend. That’s just the way it is. And I’ve stopped wasting my days thinking, What if …? and, If only …’I don’t blame myself any more – well, not all the time at any rate. So that’s progress.

Mum asked to be transferred onto another project and Desica were more than happy to oblige. When VIMS finally went live – which it did two months ago – Julie Resnick got all the publicity and the credit. But VIMS is – was – my mum’s idea, my mum’s creation. But Mum wanted nothing more to do with it after Dad went to prison. So I guess if Mum doesn’t mind about Julie getting all the glory, then neither should I.

Did I mention, Liam has been terrific? I thought that maybe he’d prefer not to talk to me or something, or maybe he’d be too embarrassed, but he’s been one
hundred
per cent beside me. In fact most people have been really kind about it. Matt Vinyl wasn’t, but then I never expected anything else. He still tries to push me around, but less frequently these days. I think it’s because I’m not scared of him any more. Do you want to hear something strange? It was only when I realized that I was no longer scared of him that I realized why I had been scared of him in the past. I wasn’t scared that he’d duff me up or anything like that. But I was scared because he wasn’t my friend any more. Scared because I didn’t know why. Scared because I was blaming my limp and my mum for being a bit famous and a whole load of other nonsense reasons. It wasn’t my fault – at least not all my fault. All Matt had to say was, ‘Dominic, stop going on about your mum.’ And I would’ve shut up. They say that if you show fear to a dog they can sense it. But if you are fearless then most of the time they’ll back down. I think it’s a bit like that with me and Matt. We’ll never be friends again – but that’s just the way it is. Onwards and upwards.

Dad will be out of prison soon. Whenever I feel a bit down, I just hold onto that thought. Dad will be out of prison soon and we’ll all be together for ever. And we’ll be a real family. How do I know all that? Easy. Because we’ve survived this far and we still all care about each other. So if we can make it through all these bad times, how can there be anything left but good times ahead?

About the Author

Malorie Blackman is one of today’s most imaginative and convincing writers for young readers. She has won numerous awards for her books, including the Red House Children’s Book Award and the Fantastic Fiction Award, and has been shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal.
Noughts & Crosses
has been adapted for the stage by the Royal Shakespeare Company, and is soon to be a graphic novel.

In 2005 Malorie was honoured with the Eleanor Farjeon Award in recognition of her contribution to the world of children’s books, and in 2008 she received an OBE for her services to children’s literature. She has been described by
The Times
as ‘a national treasure’. Malorie Blackman is the Children’s Laureate 2013–2015.

Praise for Malorie Blackman:

Noughts & Crosses

‘A book which will linger in the mind long after it has been read’

Observer

Knife Edge

‘A powerful story of race and prejudice’
Sunday Times

Checkmate

‘Another emotional hard-hitter …

bluntly told and ingeniously constructed’
Sunday Times

Double Cross

‘Blackman “gets” people … she “gets” humanity as a whole, too.

Most of all, she writes a stonking good story’
Guardian

Boys Don’t Cry

‘Shows her writing at its best, creating characters and a story which, once read, will not easily go away’
Independent

Pig-Heart Boy

‘A powerful story about friendship, loyalty and family’
Guardian

Hacker

‘Refreshingly new … Malorie Blackman writes with such winsome vitality’
Telegraph

A.N.T.I.D.O.T.E
.

‘Strong characterisation and pacy dialogue make this a real winner’

Independent

Thief!

‘… impossible to put down’
Sunday Telegraph

Dangerous Reality

‘A whodunnit, a cyber-thriller and a family drama: readers of nine or over won’t be able to resist the suspense’
Sunday Times

www.malorieblackman.co.uk

By Malorie Blackman and published by Doubleday/Corgi Books:

The Noughts & Crosses sequence

Noughts & Crosses

Knife Edge

Checkmate

Double Cross

Boys Don’t Cry

The Stuff of Nightmares

A.N.T.I.D.O.T.E
.

Dangerous Reality

Dead Gorgeous

Hacker

Pig-Heart Boy

The Deadly Dare Mysteries

Thief!

Unheard Voices

(An anthology of short stories and poems, collected by Malorie Blackman)

For junior readers, published by Corgi Yearling Books:

Cloud Busting

Operation Gadgetman!

Whizziwig and Whizziwig Returns

For beginner readers, published by Corgi Pups/Young Corgi Books:

Jack Sweettooth

Snow Dog

Space Race

The Monster Crisp-Guzzler

Audio editions available on CDs:

Noughts & Crosses

Knife Edge

Checkmate

Double Cross

DANGEROUS REALITY
AN RHCP DIGITAL EBOOK 978 1 446 45354 4

Published in Great Britain by RHCP Digital,
an imprint of Random House Children’s Publishers UK
A Random House Group Company

This ebook edition published 2012

Copyright © Malorie Blackman, 1999, 2012

First published in Great Britain by Doubleday

The right of Malorie Blackman to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.