Dangerous to Know & Love (11 page)

“Whoa, baby girl! You scrub up good. Phew! You look too hot to handle. How you doin’?”

“I feel like I’m going to throw up,” she said, honestly.

“Nah, you’ll be fine. As soon as you set foot on that stage, you’ll be awesome.”

*     *     *

Daniel stood outside the club, sucking hard on his smoke. He’d been watching from across the street when Lisanne had arrived. His eyes had almost dropped out of his head and rolled into the gutter along with his thoughts, when he saw her barely there dress and sky-high heels. He had to admit she looked pretty damn hot. Not at all like the shy girl that he met every week in the library. Although he kind of liked her, too.

He wasn’t pleased to see her linking arms with a couple of jocks. Nor had he been able to tell which of them she was with, and that bugged the shit out of him.

He dropped his cigarette to the pavement and ground it out with his heel. His chest felt tight with frustration, and he wanted to spew bitter words and rant at the powers that be.

Some days he could almost accept the hand he’d been dealt. Shit happens. Sometimes you were at the back of the line, but sometimes you were right at the front. Some days he could just say to hell with it, to hell with everyone, and get on with his life. But some days he wanted to snarl and yell and scream his fury at the unfairness of it all.

Today was one of those days.

When Lisanne had asked Daniel to come to the club to see her, he’d felt physically sick. He’d wanted to run and hide, and it had taken everything he’d had to remain standing talking to her in the library. She had no idea what she was asking of him: how could she?

Torture could be so innocent.

Slowly, reluctantly, Daniel made his way to the front of the line, passing irritated clubbers as they waited impatiently. The doorman waved him along without a second glance, and Daniel made his way toward the bar.

He would need a drink if he was going to get through the evening without hitting something. Or someone.

A couple of girls eye-fucked him from the opposite end of the bar, but he didn’t return their interest.

Ordering a bourbon and beer chaser, he waited for the change in ambience that would announce the arrival of the live music.

He made his way to the back of the crowded room and stood aloof – watching but not joining in, seeing but not caring. He really fucking hadn’t wanted to come tonight, but he hadn’t been able to stay away either.

He could feel the adrenaline building in the club, the atmosphere thickening like smoke. He knew how she’d be feeling now: that heavy tension that could only be released by letting the music flow through you, letting it pull all the threads of your body to weave a tapestry of sound.

He watched as trembling legs carried her onto the stage, her terrified eyes shooting left and right, as if she was searching for somewhere to hide. She stood hunched over the microphone, her chest rising and falling rapidly. He could see that the crowd was undecided whether or not they’d accept the terrified-looking girl, who hung onto the microphone as if it would save her from an angry mob.

But then the bass throbbed into life, and Daniel could feel the vibrations of the drum kit pulse through his body.

And she started to sing.

Her face lit up and she began to breathe. It was like watching a flower open and turn its face to the sun. She poured her heart and soul into the song as she commanded the stage.

He stood alone, watching the crowd, watching her, feeling the music through his body – hearing nothing.

Daniel pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of her lifting her voice, the crowd beneath her howling their delight.

And then he turned and left. It was too much. And it was far, far too little.

*   *   *

Everyone agreed that Lisanne’s debut had been a triumph.

They’d started with Etta, then rocked into Adele’s
Rolling in the Deep
, which had people leaping up and down, chilled out with
Hey Love
by Quadron, tried out some of their own material which had been amazing, and finished with some indie classics and, of course, Alicia Keys
Fallin’
. They hadn’t attempted
Dirrty
and, bearing in mind what she’d been wearing, Lisanne was relieved.

She was covered in sweat, half her makeup rubbed off onto her hands, exhausted and exhilarated – her body was buzzing.

“You were awesome, Lisanne!” shouted Kirsty, barging into the shabby dressing room and hugging her senseless.

“Way to go, Lis!” said Vin, joining in the group hug and kissing her on the cheek.

Lisanne smiled and grinned and said all the right things.

She’d loved being up on the stage. She’d loved hearing the cheers of the crowd as her voice hit every high note. She was happy Kirsty had been there to see it all and see her through it. She was glad that Vin and his friends had approved and toasted her with bottles of beer. She was delirious that it had gone well, and she was relieved that Roy and the guys had given her a universal thumbs up. But through it all, she’d hoped that Daniel would come.

She’d scanned the crowd but couldn’t find his face.

That was okay. That was fine. She hadn’t really expected him to come. She should never have asked.

*   *   *

When Daniel cut the engine outside his house, he felt wrung out. He hadn’t been back to the club for a live music night since… well, not for a long while.

He climbed the steps to his house, not surprised that the front door was hanging wide open, people he didn’t recognize spilling out onto the street. They could have been friends of Zef’s, or they could have been customers. Sometimes it was the same thing.

He swiped a six-pack from a table, not caring who it belonged to, and trudged up the stairs to his room.

He stared with distaste at the girl asleep – or passed out – in the hallway.

Thank fuck he had his own bathroom that he could keep locked; otherwise living there would have been intolerable.

He opened the bedroom door using his key, and locked it behind him again. He was vaguely aware of music thumping through the house because of the vibrations that traveled up through the floor. It was the only advantage to being deaf: noise couldn’t keep him awake at night. It was a small mercy – but something was better than nothing.

He snapped the tab on the first beer and drank it down in one go. Then he turned on his laptop and downloaded the photograph of Lisanne from his camera phone. Damn, if she didn’t look hot in that outfit, but seeing her sing – he’d never seen anyone look more beautiful. She looked like she fit inside her own skin. He hadn’t seen her so at ease before – she glowed.

He printed out the picture and stuck it on his notice board among the photographs of his family. Then he turned off his laptop, toed off his boots and sat in the dark, drinking beer until sleep or oblivion took him.

Chapter 6

Kirsty and Vin had insisted that the party wasn’t over. Lisanne’s triumph needed some serious celebration, no matter that all she wanted to do was go back to her room and crash for 12 hours.

“You are so not raining on this parade, missy!” shouted Kirsty, grabbing her arm.

“You don’t want to argue with her, Lis,” laughed Vin. “I thought you’d have known that by now.”

“Yes, but…” began Lisanne.

It was no use. They piled into Vin’s car, followed by two taxi loads of other students they’d met at the club, and went back to his fraternity house.

Lisanne had never considered that she’d be the kind of girl who could get invited to a frat party, but Vin’s friends were fun and surprisingly friendly, and they drank and danced until dawn.

They
did. But Lisanne found a sofa in a dark corner and lay down with a pile of coats on top of her and slept, hearing music in her dreams, seeing a pair of laughing hazel eyes.

When she’d finally gotten home, it was Sunday and the clouds were tinged pink with the coming dawn.

Kirsty and Lisanne were standing arm in arm outside the dorm rooms, breathing in the pure morning air.

“How does it feel?” said Kirsty, quietly.

Lisanne tried to find words to sum up the chaos of emotions that had coursed through over the last few hours.

“I don’t know,” she said at last. “I feel different, but the same. Happy, but sort of calm. It’s hard to describe.”

“You were amazing out there, I’m so envious,” said Kirsty.

Lisanne laughed but Kirsty tugged her arm.

“I mean it. You really moved people with your singing. People look at me and think they see straight through me.”

Lisanne stared at her. “But you’re so beautiful!”

Kirsty gave a small smile. “It’s not false modesty, Lis, I know I’m pretty.” She shrugged. “But most of the time that’s all they see.”

Lisanne shook her head. “That’s not true. You’ve been an amazing friend to me – I see how thoughtful you are and how kind. Vin sees it, too. He’s crazy about you.”

Kirsty’s eyes brightened. “You think?”

“I
know
,” said Lisanne, with certainty. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you – he adores you. But he
sees
you, too. And
I
see you.”

Kirsty smiled. “By the way, did you know Daniel was there tonight – last night?”

Lisanne was stunned: her eyes flickered up to Kirsty.

“Daniel? But he said he wasn’t going?”

“Guess he changed his mind,” said Kirsty with a knowing look. “Shawna tried to speak to him and he totally blew her off.”

“Oh,” said Lisanne, unsure how to answer that.

“He was by himself,” said Kirsty, encouragingly.

Lisanne couldn’t help smiling to herself.

“Come on,” said Kirsty. “We need to get some beauty sleep.”

When Lisanne woke up, it was nearly lunchtime and her stomach growled, reminding her that she’d missed breakfast as well as dinner the night before.

Despite everything, she felt refreshed and relaxed.

She peered at her cellphone. It was 12:00, and Kirsty was still buried under her duvet. Then Lisanne noticed that she had a text message from Daniel.

* D: Roy said you were amazing.

U looked great! *

He thought she looked great?

Lisanne’s cheeks heated immediately, and the warm feeling spread throughout her body. She stretched out in her bed, a huge, ridiculous smile on her face.
He thought she looked great!
Okay, so Kirsty had spent several hours getting her into a presentable condition, but still.
Great!

Kirsty finally rolled out of bed an hour later and they spent a quiet afternoon catching up on homework and doing chores. It hadn’t taken long for reality to hit, but Lisanne didn’t mind – it was soothing to do ordinary things.

By Monday, most of the euphoria had worn off. Several people had come up to her to say they’d enjoyed the gig, and one or two had asked about the next one. Roy had vaguely mentioned playing elsewhere in town, but there was nothing definite planned.

Lisanne was just about to visit the campus coffee shop for a quick hit of caffeine before heading back to her dorm room, when she heard raised voices. Across the quad, she saw Daniel in some sort of argument with two students who looked old enough to be seniors. From their body language, she could see that it was a tense stand off, possibly a precursor to a fight. She didn’t know what to do, but simply acted on pure instinct, hurrying over.

Daniel’s voice was angry.

“I said no, man! Stay the fuck away from me.”

“Oh, come on. Everyone knows your brother is the guy around here. Stop pretending you’re fucking Snow White.”

Daniel turned to walk away, but the bigger guy grabbed his shoulder.

Daniel pulled back his fist but then saw Lisanne running toward him. Instead of swinging, he stepped back and took a deep breath.

“Don’t start what you can’t finish,” sneered the other student. “Nice that your little girlfriend is protecting you.”

Daniel’s face creased with anger and Lisanne had to grab hold of his arm to drag him away.

“Don’t! He’s not worth it!” she said urgently.

She wasn’t sure if he’d understood her, but Lisanne pulled him back. She kept tugging his arm while he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the two students, who continued to jeer at him.

“What was that about?” Lisanne said breathlessly, once they were a good distance away.

Daniel was still looking over his shoulder, so she tapped him on his hand.

“What?” he snarled.

Lisanne dropped his arm, her face shocked by this angry tone.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said, faintly. “What was it all about?”

He shook his head. “They’re assholes.”

Lisanne was pretty certain there was more to it than that, but as she hadn’t heard how the argument had started, she thought it was wiser to let it go.

“Do you want to get a coffee?” she said, quietly.

He shook his head again, ran one hand through his hair and tugged at his eyebrow ring with the other.

“No. I need to get off campus.”

There was an awkward pause.

“Well, okay. I’ll see you Friday then?”

He looked down at her quickly. “Do you want to come with me? Just take off for a couple of hours? I don’t know – go somewhere?”

“Um, okay,” Lisanne said hesitantly, thinking of the pile of homework she still had to tackle. “Where do you want to go?”

Daniel closed his eyes. “Anywhere.”

When they reached his motorcycle, he passed her the spare helmet and soon they were leaving the city behind them, heading east.

Houses and shops flew past, and Lisanne couldn’t help wondering how much over the limit they were going. She was dreading that at any moment, she’d hear the shrill sirens of a police cruiser behind them. What were the penalties for speeding? Could a passenger get into trouble? She had visions of phoning her mom and dad to bail her out of jail. It was too horrible to contemplate. She knew
exactly
what they’d think of that… and what they’d think of Daniel.

God, how fast was he going? They were going to get into an accident, never mind getting pulled over.