Dante (35 page)

Catrina sat on the edge of the tub, her hands hidden in her lap. “I can’t check it.”

“Huh?”

A thin piece of pink and white plastic flashed in the air before it vanished under Catrina’s hands in her lap. Understanding dawned on Dante. He wasn’t entirely sure what to say to ease her nerves.

That evening his wife had asked him to have the sperm viability testing done so they could know if more children were possible started the ball rolling. For Dante, the procedure was simple, if not a little awkward. He expected the same results he’d received before: sterile, no viable sperm, and absolutely no chance of producing children in the future.

A third time to add to his list of things he was wrong about.

The results weren’t exactly good, but it wasn’t a definite no like before, either. Would the old-fashioned way work? Probably not. After going over what could be done to help everything along, Dante and Catrina decided on a selective procedure. The healthiest sperm were collected and stored, which took a great deal of time to retrieve a decent amount. During a fertile period, they were inseminated directly into the womb, closer to the spot they needed to be to get the job done.

Dante hated it. For him, it was uncomfortable to have repeat sessions with his palm only to hand it over for a specialists to look at his spunk under a microscope. For his wife, it was invasive to have those same people demanding she take shots of hormones and playing around in her uterus.

For months they tried … and nothing.

The standard procedure was for Catrina to begin using home pregnancy tests as soon as the test would possibly show a pregnancy. That could be up to five days before her first missed cycle.

Hence, the test hidden in Catrina’s lap.

Still, he was surprised to see her holding a pregnancy test at all. After all this time of disappointment, he told his wife to stop testing and wait to see if her cycles came naturally. It was emotionally draining to get excited over and over only to be let down again and again.

Dante frowned, tensing up. An argument with his wife was not high on his important-shit-to-do list. “I thought we talked about this.”

“I know we did,” Catrina whispered. “But the girls were talking downstairs about things. It got me thinking and it nagged at me. I haven’t checked at all this month, Dante. I’m not late yet. I’m only one day early, but I haven’t checked once.”

“You said you weren’t going to at all,” he replied quietly.

“I couldn’t help it.”

“Listen, Cat, I love Michel.”

Catrina’s head popped up, her eyes flying wide. “I know you do!”

“No, I just mean I love that boy.” Dante stepped further into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him in case someone came upstairs and accidentally overheard their conversation. While his fertility problems were known to his brothers, Dante didn’t openly discuss what he and his wife were doing to try and fix the issues. “He’s my boy, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Okay, so just know that I’m fine with only him, too.”

Catrina’s chewing on her bottom lip started up again. “You’re sure?”

“Absolutely. I don’t want to keep doing these procedures and putting you and me through hell every month emotionally and physically when we really don’t need to. We’ve got our son. He’s healthy, happy, and perfect. He is so loved. Who fucking cares if he’s not mine biologically?

“This is the last time I want to see one of those things in my house,” Dante continued, waving at the piece of plastic poking out in Catrina’s hand. “I don’t want to keep doing this for nothing. We tried. It didn’t work. It’s over. I’m fine with that. Michel is enough for me, Cat. He is.”

“There’s still the IVF option, too,” Catrina said. “It’s better odds.”

Dante sighed heavily. “Is that something you want to go ahead with?”

“Not really. I figured if this didn’t work, it didn’t.”

“Okay, so let it be,
Amore
. We have our boy. He’s enough for us. Right?”

“Okay, you’re right. I know you’re right.” Catrina stood from the edge of the tub and set the pregnancy test facedown to the countertop. “Last time, I promise.”

Then, she did nothing.

“Still can’t check it?”

“Nope. Probably because I know it is the last time. That makes it even more final. It’s hurt enough,
bello
.”

“We could throw it away and forget about it,” Dante suggested.

“Yeah, right.” Catrina scoffed. “And then one of us will be back up here digging through the fucking garbage can in five minutes. Just look at the damn thing for me.”

Dante laughed, reaching out to grab his wife by the shoulders and pull her into his embrace. Catrina buried her face into his chest and immediately relaxed. It reminded him of all the reasons why he loved his wife in one simple action.

Catrina was one hell of a strong woman. She was feisty as fuck, took no shit off no man, could handle herself in some of the most frightening situations and wouldn’t blink a lash. Give her a knife in room full of guns and trust that she’d get the job done, regardless of the bullets flying.

She was tough—tougher than most men Dante had working under him. She was cartel born in a Cosa Nostra ruled world who taught herself how to be the Queen. She stood at his side in business and pleasure, and he didn’t give a flying shit what any man in the room thought about it. She earned her place better than any of them ever had.

But … she was also a wife, mother, a woman, his lover, and his best friend. She was soft as cotton under that sharp-as-glass exterior. There were tears he wiped from her face that no one else would ever see. Protection, connection, and love were the things she asked for and also provided. Sometimes, it was just the simple act of his hand in hers that she needed because she’d been raised in an environment where things like that were not given freely, if at all.

In Dante’s world, in his home and to the Cosa Nostra family he ruled, Catrina was his queen. And no matter what, she would always be. He would make damn sure of that above all else. It was the least of what she deserved.

They were not good people; they didn’t pretend to be. They could be ruthless and cruel; they were lawless and merciless.

That was just their life.

But goddamn it, he wouldn’t want to share it with any other woman.

Only his Cat.

“Love you,” Dante murmured into the crook of his wife’s neck.

“Love you,” she echoed.

Holding Catrina tighter, Dante kissed her neck and silently flipped over the pregnancy test behind her back. At first glance, there was only one line staring back up at him. Dante heaved a breath at the finality seeping through his body and didn’t give the result anymore of his attention.

There was no sadness over the negative. No regrets over the testing and procedures. No doubts about the choice to discontinue their efforts to have another child. Having Michel was enough for them. Nothing changed that fact. Nothing ever would.

Catrina hugged Dante’s middle tighter. “Negative?”

Dante plucked the test up, about to confirm his wife’s question, but something stopped him. It was crazy faint—too weak to be seen in the dimly lit bathroom with just the passing glance Dante had given the test at first.

Dante’s arm wrapped around his wife’s shoulders tightened. He distinctly remembered the doctors being very clear about the tests. It didn’t matter how faint the line was, just that there was one visible to the naked eye. Being faint simply meant there wasn’t a highly concentrated amount of hormones in the urine but regardless, the test still picked a hint of the hormones up.

It was still a
positive
.

Dante laughed. The sound started somewhere in his chest and rumbled outwards. “Holy shit.”

“What?”

Catrina turned fast in his arms, her hands splaying out to the counter on either side of the test when Dante set it back down.

“Look,” he ordered, excitement rolling thick. “Oh my God, Cat. Look at that.”

Catrina’s breath caught. “There’s two.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my fucking God!”

Catrina repeated the words as she twisted back in Dante’s embrace and kissed him hard. The joy sweeping through Dante’s veins was all-consuming. Next to falling in love with Catrina and then again falling hard for Michel, nothing had ever felt quite so fucking amazing before.

“What I said about Michel still stands,” Dante murmured, holding his wife’s face in his hands. “I meant that, Cat.”

“I know. It makes this even better. God, there’s so much I have to do. The clinic will want me to call and make an appointment so they can confirm it through blood—”

Dante shut her up with another kiss. “No.”

“No?”

“No,” he repeated firmly. “I’m sure you have a dozen more of those goddamn tests hidden somewhere. Take another, but we both know what it’ll say. For now, let’s just enjoy this, Cat. Privately without the doctors and all their nonsense. Please just let us enjoy this together for as long as we can, even if it’s only a few days.”

Catrina nodded jerkily, wetness glazing her eyes. “Okay.”

“No more lifting on Michel.”

“Got it.”

“Tell me if you’re tired or sick so I can let you rest or chill out.”

“I will.”

“And you’re going to hate me for it, but no business, Cat. It’s fucking risky on a good day, but when you’re involved, the danger level increases by a dozen.”

Catrina cocked a brow challengingly. “I’m pregnant, not disabled.”

Dante chuckled. She had no issue with his other demands, but talk about removing her from his side running their crime family to keep her from possibly being hurt, and she was willing to fight him tooth and nail. That was his girl. Crazy as hell.

“Exactly,” Dante said softly. “You’re pregnant with my child, and we both know this is the last chance we’re going to have to see this come to fruition. Don’t be ridiculous. It isn’t safe. If I need to attach two bodyguards to your ass to keep you away, I will do that. Do not push me on it,
Amore
. It will happen.”

“You’re so fucking pigheaded,” she replied, pouting.

“So fucking in love with you, you mean.”

Catrina grinned. “Well, that too.”

“Keep it just between us for now, right?” Dante asked.

“Just between us.” Catrina’s nose scrunched. “Well, no … I have to call your mother. She would positively die if I didn’t tell her the very moment after we knew.”

Dante laughed. It had taken a little time, but once Cecelia realized how happy and content Catrina truly made Dante, she accepted her third daughter-in-law into the family fold. Dante was grateful and he knew Catrina was pleased his mother had finally given her the respect she was owed and love she deserved.

“Yeah, you better call Ma.”

• • •

“What’s got you so happy?” Gio asked when Dante finally returned to the outside.

Apparently keeping his excitement under wraps was not going to be as easy as he first thought. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit. You look like someone just dosed you with happy pills or something.”

“It’s a good day for me, Gio. That’s all.”

Michel ran up to his father, hands slapping down on both of Dante’s knees. Leaning down, Dante kissed his son on the forehead before sending him off again to play with Lucian and Johnathan.

“Make sure that bat doesn’t hit my kid,” Dante warned.

Lucian didn’t respond, simply flipped his brother the bird and went back to the kids

Dante didn’t even care. Gio picked up on that right away.

“Seriously, what the fuck is up?”

“Nothing, I said. So hey, you’re really done having kids?”

The best way to get Gio off a topic was to distract him with something else. Especially if that something else meant someone was questioning his choices.

“Seems early to be making big decisions like that,” Dante added.

Gio scowled. “Considering there was a needle and knife to my balls to make sure it wasn’t going to happen again, yeah, I’m done.”

Dante cringed. “Ouch.”

“One of the perks you don’t have to worry about, man.”

Well, maybe not. Dante didn’t correct his younger brother.

“Kim was really okay with it?”

“Kim hated being pregnant. It wasn’t easy on her. She was sick from the day she found out to five minutes before Andino was born. Add in she could barely do anything because of the constant sickness, then the postpartum hemorrhage, and the depression from feeling like she failed somehow, she didn’t want to do it again. I didn’t want my wife unhappy, and my son is more than enough.”

“I get that,” Dante said, passing a glance towards his own son out on the lawn.

“Besides, I was thinking about stuff.”

“And?”

Gio shrugged. “And maybe I want to go back to school in a few months and get a start on finishing my law degree. After all, Paulie isn’t getting any younger and he’s been ready to retire from being consigliere ever since Dad stepped down. Things are slow for me right now, and I have guys handling my shit all over the city because it’s becoming dull. Who are you going to choose to give that position to, huh?”