Darcy Saga 01 Mr. & Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy (19 page)

Once they emerged from their chambers, it was rarely with any particular destination in mind. They simply wanted to be together. Their keenest desire was to learn more about how the other thought and felt. The intimate nature of their communication evolved as they each had suspected it would once they were married.

Darcy no longer suffered the pain of his loneliness and grief. Wounded areas of his heart were unearthed and healed, some of which he was ignorant even existed. The past no longer haunted him, and he was able to remember and share the happy memories without the instantaneous ache of sadness overwhelming him.

As for Lizzy, she gave herself to him wholly. Her rigid independence, selfreliance, and need to prove herself all shattered before the force of his love. To be essential to another human being, to be vulnerable, to have another assign themselves generously and selflessly is the ultimate expression of true love, and they understood how lucky they were.

Most days they moseyed around Pemberley. Slowly Lizzy began to acquaint herself with the manor's layout. Darcy was correct in stating that it really was not that confusing. The hallways were set up in a linear fashion and the rooms universally square or rectangular. Perhaps not overly imaginative, but it was easy to navigate. By the end of her first week as Mistress, she was confident enough to wander on her own around the main floor, which she did on those few occasions when Darcy was occupied with a business matter. Nonetheless, she was constantly amazed and, frankly, significantly intimidated by the vastness of the house and by the plethora of art, furnishings, history, wealth, and beauty that Pemberley housed. The more she saw, the more she was awed by the responsibilities her husband carried on his broad shoulders.

The staff was mysteriously everywhere and yet unobtrusive at the same time. Lizzy never once actually witnessed a maid cleaning, yet the manor was spotless. A footman materialized magically when Darcy needed one, then vanished as speedily. Darcy greatly impressed Lizzy by knowing the names of each of them, always making eye contact, and unfailingly inserting "please" and "thank you" into each command. The staff's devotion to their master and to Pemberley was apparent in their manner and in the pristine condition of the house.

Lizzy had learned much about the estate's interests during her engagement. Darcy's pride and pleasure regarding Pemberley were unmistakable. Unwittingly, conversations about his home, both then and now, had given Lizzy tremendous insight into the business affairs that her husband managed. She knew that his income stemmed not only from Pemberley itself but also from investments, trade, and industrial and commercial enterprises in England and abroad.

Nonetheless, the bulk of the estate's income came from agriculture, livestock, cotton milling, and horse breeding. The farmlands were extensive and offered varying produce, including fruit orchards and grains. Two mills used the power of the River Derwent and modern technology to process the grains and shorn wool. Livestock consisted primarily of sheep with a few goats and wandering fowl. The wild game was generally left unmolested except for the occasional hunting parties Darcy allowed and, of course, for their own table.

Her husband handled all of these aspects of Pemberley's business efficiently and dutifully. However, Lizzy had rapidly established that his heart lay with his horses. Darcy was a horseman through and through. He confessed to her that, if it were possible, he would happily consign all his responsibilities to someone else and immerse his energies into breeding and training the fine horses of Pemberley.

Thus it was on Lizzy's second day that Darcy enthusiastically escorted her to the stables. The complex that accommodated the horses, carriages, and equipment, and the massive staff necessary was only slightly smaller than the main house. It too was a marvel of exquisite architecture and craftsmanship. At two stories high, the building could easily house all the staff, store the equipment and numerous carriages, and shelter the horses. A high arch facing south opened onto an enormous courtyard amid the complex where the animals were groomed and cared for. The thoroughbreds were separated from the working horses, each with their own handlers and grooms.

The weather had taken an abrupt turn for the worse. Ominous clouds hovered on the horizon, and Darcy assured Lizzy that it would snow by that evening. Despite the cold, the grooms went about their duties. They acknowledged Darcy's presence and, as always, Darcy addressed each of them by name.

Lizzy did not ride and was actually quite frightened of horses in general. That was not to say she did not value the beauty and majesty of the species, and it was immediately apparent even to her uneducated eyes that the thoroughbreds of Pemberley were magnificent. Darcy seemed intimately acquainted with each one of them. Parsifal, naturally, had the best stall and was visited by his master first. Treats were given and he was again introduced to Lizzy, who overcame her fear enough to stroke his soft nose.

Darcy knew of Lizzy's apprehension, so he thought it best to take her to the new colt first. Who could not fall in love with a baby? They arrived just as one of the grooms was about to feed the young animal. Darcy assumed the task and encouraged Lizzy to assist him. One look into the playful, sweet face of the foal and she was captured. Before long she was kneeling in the straw, Darcy beside her, holding onto the makeshift milk bladder and nipple while the colt suckled. It was a fantastic experience. Despite all expectations to the contrary, Lizzy bonded with the foal and would become a frequent visitor. She named him Wolfram, after Wolfram von Eschenbach, the poet who wrote
Parzival
from which Darcy had taken Parsifal's name. This brought a huge grin to Darcy's lips and filled his heart with joy.

Next he took her outside to the training pen where a staggeringly feisty stallion was actively being broken. Heedless of what anyone might think, Darcy pulled Elizabeth against his chest, wrapping her with his thick greatcoat. Holding her tight to keep her warm in the gathering gloom, he explained the process unfolding in the corral. Elizabeth was both fascinated and horrified.

"It looks to be rather dangerous," she said.

"Yes, it can be. The stallions are incredibly strong and unpredictable. One must attain the perfect balance between harboring that strength and controlling it. The mares tend to be slightly more docile, but not by far."

"And you do this, William? You get in there with these perilous animals?"

"When I can. Unfortunately, my duties do not allow me the freedom I would wish to be consistently hands on."

"Well, I am glad for that! It terrifies me to think of you in there. Have you ever been hurt?"

"No more than an occasional bruise or the wind knocked out of me. Once I had a mild concussion after being thrown, and there was the time I injured my thigh." He outlined his wounds with the same concern as if mentioning a paper cut.

Lizzy shuddered. She wished she could forbid him doing something she considered so reckless, but she had no right. One look at the intense emotion on his face as he watched the trainer at work, and she knew she would never wish him deprived of an occupation he so enthusiastically enjoyed. For his sake, she would exhibit interest in the stables and the world contained therein, but it would never be easy for her.

As Darcy predicted, the rain and then snow hit that evening. The intermittently inclement weather made exploring the extensive grounds beyond the immediate surroundings impossible for most of the winter. Instead, Darcy took her to random chambers on the top floor and pointed to features visible from the windows. When seen between storms, the panoramic vista was breathtaking.

Pemberley Manor rested on a gentle hill so, from the third story elevation, the countryside appeared to stretch for endless miles to the hazy horizon. She saw the pastures, orchards, and forest laid out like a patchwork quilt. She had a bird's eye view of the incredible and varied gardens, the Maze, the ponds and streams, the trout lake with fountains, and the Cascade waterfall with the Greek Temple barely discernible above. In September she had strolled through a couple of the gardens closest to the house, but her emotions had been so taut and her sensibilities so acutely affected by the man next to her that she scarcely recollected any of it.

Now they stood before the tall window, Lizzy enfolded in Darcy's strong arms, watching the snow gently blanket the earth and vegetation far below. Darcy's lips were near her ear, intermittently planting soft kisses as he spoke.

"Up above the Greek Temple is a secluded grotto," he told her. "There is a tiny pool sheltered by tall pines, elder, and willows. The pool is fed from underground so it is perpetually tranquil, acting as a mirror. The trees and bushes are so thick that when you enter, it is as if you have been transported to another world. When I was a child I would escape there with a book or my journal or nothing, just wanting to be alone. I would pretend I had magically left Earth for Mars or Jupiter. I even attempted to write a story once, relaying my adventures as the conqueror of this other planet." He laughed and Lizzy smiled at the vision of Darcy as a young boy. "I do not know what ever happened to that story, although I would surely be mortified if it was unearthed!"

He tightened his grip around his wife and continued, "I had not visited the grotto for years until this past June. After Rosings and then attempting to drown my sorrow in London and too much brandy, I returned to Pemberley. The first place I thought of was the grotto, which surprised me after so many years, but I went again and again as if compelled. I did my best selfexamination there.

"As you know, beloved, I did not expect ever to have you in my life, to be given this chance to prove my love to you. I only wished to become a better man, to learn from my mistakes. The peace that pervades the place soothed me beyond words. I remember musing once, fleetingly so as not to hope where no hope seemed forthcoming, that if ever I was so blessed as to earn your love, I would take you there. It would become our special place. I only wish the weather allowed me to do so now, but I must content myself with fantasies until the spring."

He smiled down at her. She brought her hand up to caress his face, meeting his loving and intense gaze. She grasped his neck and pulled his head to her, meeting his lips with a hungry kiss. She turned in his arms and encircled his waist, pressing her body to his, and whispered, "So, describe these grotto fantasies. Or better yet, employ this gift for pretending you appear to possess and show me, right here and right now."

Darcy did not hesitate. In quick long strides he crossed the room, locked the door, and returned to her arms. Between kisses and increasingly indulgent and fervent caresses, he painted a picture of hanging branches with dappled sunlight leaking through, gentle breezes, soft grass carpet, and the heady aroma of earth and pine and wild honeysuckle. If the room was cold, neither of them felt it; the heat they generated abundantly adequate.

These pleasant diversions during the long cold afternoons were not an unusual occurrence. Pemberley was a very large house and, aside for the servants, who were under strict orders to discreetly vacate any room the Master and Mistress entered, Darcy and Lizzy were alone. Darcy was discovering the sublime exhilaration of making love to his wife outside their bedchamber. Nothing quite compared to the comfort of their bed or the rapture of cuddling afterwards and falling asleep in each other's embrace. However, there was an element of naughtiness and danger attached when they were elsewhere that was intoxicating and tremendously arousing to them both. They understood that these dalliances would become a rare event once Georgiana returned, so they recklessly luxuriated in the activity in her absence.

On the fourth day of Lizzy's residence at Pemberley, she was alone in her parlor waiting impatiently for Darcy, who was discussing a business proposal with Mr. Keith. She was standing by the window watching the snow falling when Mrs. Reynolds knocked at the open door.

"Pardon me, Mrs. Darcy, am I disturbing you?"

"Of course not, Mrs. Reynolds. Please come in."

"Mr. Darcy asked me to discuss the Christmas arrangements with you." "Oh! Very well. Please sit down. How can I help you?"

"Christmas for the past several years has been a quiet affair. Mr. Darcy prefers this, as does Miss Darcy. Usually a few guests are invited, Mr. Bingley and his sisters on occasion, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and twice Lord and Lady Matlock have graced us. Now that you have joined the family, Mr. Darcy requested that you have the final authority on who was invited as well as the arrangements and festivities."

"I see." Lizzy hesitated. "The truth is, Mrs. Reynolds, I have given minimal thought to Christmas, my mind being focused on my wedding and not getting lost in the corridors! I rather imagined the holiday would proceed as Mr. Darcy and Miss Georgiana have traditionally done so. I will confer with Mr. Darcy regarding the guest list and proffer the invitations. Perhaps you could enlighten me as to the usual festivities?"

"Certainly," and Mrs. Reynolds launched into a detailed report of a typical Pemberley Christmas. After a half hour, Lizzy had a great deal to ponder. She told Mrs. Reynolds that she would talk to Mr. Darcy and meet with her again tomorrow. While Mrs. Reynolds was there, Lizzy enlisted her assistance in another matter she had been brooding on. It was the first time she and the housekeeper had said more than a few words to each other, and although the conversation did not result in much decision making, Lizzy still felt as if she had taken a small step toward assuming her role as Mistress of Pemberley.