Dare Me (28 page)

I look outside, at the snow falling, and know I need to leave, to get to Pizza and More. There’s no time for this argument.

“Text me if they get home before I do. I want to know how it went.”

“You know how it’s going to go, Ben. But I’ll still text you.”

I almost raise a point to argue, but she’s right. Dad’s chances are slim. I wonder how close they are to mine?

Ten minutes later I’m pulling into the parking lot. The roads are bad, but the Jeep is steady. At least something in my life is. My lights flash over Alexia out back, smoking a cigarette.

I step out of the Jeep and walk to her. “You okay?”

She exhales. “Really? That question?”

I put my palms up. “Sorry. It’s . . . I didn’t realize you smoke.”

“I don’t,” she says and takes another drag. “But my life isn’t supposed to be like this. You know?”

“How so?” I ask.

She shakes the snow from her hair. “Come on, Ben. You know why we moved. Dad got the big promotion and we got the house and the better neighborhood. Least that’s how it seemed.” She takes a drag. I wait. She’s beautiful even smoking a cigarette. I don’t know how. “But it’s been shitty. He’s never around and when he is he’s pissed. Mom can’t stand him. And now with the way the plant’s going . . .” She stops, looks at me. “You know. It’s not getting any better.”

I look up, watch the flakes drizzle down, and enjoy the crush of silence that comes with snow. “And there’s Jesse and that mess.”

“Yeah. And that.” She stops, but wants to say more. I can sense it. So I wait, but the moment passes and she takes a drag of her cigarette.

“You going tomorrow?” I ask because I don’t want her to go inside. I want her to ask me whatever’s on her mind.

“The formal? No. Jesse said he’s got other plans.” She shakes her head. “Whatever. I’ll be at home with a gallon of ice cream and some shitty movie. You and Chantel, though? She seems excited.”

“Um, yeah, we’re going, but we’re meeting there.”

“Oh, I’m sure she loves
that
plan. What’s the deal?” Alexia’s forehead wrinkles. Also adorable.

“I think we’re through, but I didn’t want to do that before the dance. That’s not right.” The answer emerges, and everything is silent except for Alexia’s gasp.

“Ben . . . shit, I’m sorry.”

“It’s like you said with things being crazy at home. Same here, and I can’t . . .” I grasp for the words. “She deserves someone who’s got time for her.” That’s honest, I hope.

“Or you need someone you want to make the time for.” Alexia nods and looks at me sideways.

“And there’s that,” I say. Shit, she can see right through me. However, at the same time, I can do the same with her. “So is that the deal for you with Jesse? You have this
need
?”

Alexia takes a drag and flicks away the cigarette. “I know I seem pretty cliché, Ben. Jesse’s all popular and I’m trying to stay that way, but I guess he’s what I know.”

This is so sad it’s unbearable. “So you stick with him because he’s comfortable? Because from what I’ve seen, that’s not comfort.”

Alexia’s head snaps my way. I brace for her to go off. Instead, she sighs. “I know. Maybe I’m too weak, or he’s too strong, or it’s something else altogether. Fuck, I don’t have a good answer. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s your life. I guess I just wanted to understand.”

Alexia’s quiet for a second, but then she says, “But you already do, Ben.”

Her words cut two ways. One, I do know, because the only things that have really changed about her since we were kids are her address and her group of friends. Two, I also understand more than even she does. Because I’m partially responsible for how Jesse has been behaving. I lit a fire and he got burned, and I knew—even if I chose to ignore it—that he would come looking for the source. It’s only a matter of time until he does, and in the meantime, he takes out his frustration on her. All of that is my fault.

I shouldn’t be so quick to judge. I am not Jesse Holmes, but I am also not the innocent Ben I pretend to be.

“You’re right, I do, and I’m sorry for the way things are,” I say.

“That makes two of us.”

When I nod I realize that the look I saw from her is back. “What is it?”

She turns away. “Nothing. I was just thinking . . . It’s stupid.” She pauses. “I’m sorry for what’s going on with you and Chantel. I’ll keep some ice cream handy. She loves Rocky Road.” Alexia looks at the falling snow, and I know I could walk inside, leave her be, and that would be that. But I can’t. I need to know.

“Thanks. Really, I’m sorry about hurting her, but she’s out of my league anyway.”

Alexia laughs. “You said it, not me.”

I step closer to her. “But, hey, you were about to say something. Go ahead. I can take it.”

She stares at me for a long moment, and it’s almost uncomfortable, like when Ginny’s reading me, but then Alexia relaxes into herself. “Don’t laugh,” she says.

“I promise.” Although I’m not sure I can keep it.

“I’ve got a dare for you.”

“Really?”

“Really. You ready?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

Alexia looks away and I feel like an asshole for not scooping her up and laying one on her. “Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I heard correctly. Your dare is for me to kiss you?”

Alexia nods but still isn’t looking at me. My heart crashes.

“You didn’t need to dare me to do this.” I grab her gently and she turns her head. Those enormous eyes are taking me in, and in them I see her pain and her fear. I don’t know if this will take that away, but it sure as hell is worth trying.

I kiss her and her lips are softer than Chantel’s, more delicate. She shudders against me, from the cold or this moment, I don’t know, but I pull her close. She opens her mouth and presses with more force. We kiss and I think of nothing else—not our dares, not the shit at home, not Jesse. I feel her and this kiss and it gives me more of a thrill than anything I have done up until this point.

Alexia pulls away and stares at me. She’s breathing a bit deeply and her face is flushed. “I should have dared you a while ago.”

“Like I said, I didn’t need it, but I am so glad you did.”

We kiss again and separate when Alexia giggles. “Thanks, Ben.”

“Anytime.” I lace my fingers through her hand.

“Promise me you’ll be careful tomorrow.”

I know she means the dance, the parties after, but the irony is almost too much to bear. “I will,” I say, and our moment of suspended reality is gone, and who knows what will be?

—

It’s been a slow night
so we’re closing early. Alexia’s already gone. I don’t know what the moment we had means, and I’m trying not to overthink it because I’ve wanted that kiss since forever. But still. My phone chimes with a text, and I grab it, expecting Ginny.

Can u b @ Trev’s by 8?
It’s Ricky, and I guarantee this is about O. P.

On my way.

I drive and replay the kiss over and over. It was awesome, but in the back of my mind Jesse Holmes lingers. I don’t think Alexia will say a word, but if he ever finds out, shit. And then there’s what I admitted to Alexia about Chantel. At least I know Alexia will be there for her. That is if she’s even upset. She truly is way beyond me, which is why we need this chat with O. P.

I pull up and find Trevor outside with his garbage can.

“You don’t have a butler or something for that?”

He ignores me. “I’ve been waiting for you and I needed a ploy to talk to you outside.” Trevor’s all business and he’s making me nervous.

“Why’s that?”

“I’ve been doing some research.”

At those words my happiness fizzles.

“Get Out There Adventure is not owned by, nor does it employ, anyone named Paul. Hardly anyone works there, really. Regardless, it’s owned by J. W. Steele, who is loaded, and listed with the Better Business Bureau as owning multiple websites.”

“Does Ricky know?”

Trevor shakes his head. “No. I don’t know how to handle that. He really needs this money. And John, too. But we can’t keep doing this. It’s not safe. If what you think is true, this man used his own niece. That makes my skin crawl. A lot like Jesse does.”

I hope my instincts are correct, but at the same time, I don’t. “Are we still conferencing with him?”

“Yeah.” Trev looks at his watch. “In like five minutes.”

“Then let’s go.”

Trevor goes to say something, but stops himself and says, “I trust you, Ben.”

“Trev, the feeling’s mutual. Thanks.”

I follow him inside, where Ricky and John are set up like before.

“You ready, Ben?” Ricky asks and nods toward my seat.

“Absolutely.” I look over at Trevor, but it’s as if we never spoke.

A moment later our screens are filled with O. P., or Old Paul.

Ricky thanks him for meeting with us again, and all around kisses his ass. All the while my head is boiling with how we’ve been used.

“So this is our dilemma,” Ricky turns. “Actually, let me have Ben explain.” Ricky slides over for me to pull up my chair. I do and I sit and I stare for a moment too long. Ricky elbows me.

“Right, so our problem with this dare.” I pause. I think of all the problems I’ve created by perpetuating this lie. The one this asshole began, the one I then took and made my own. I don’t know who I’m more upset with, but I sure as hell know who I’m taking it out on. “The problem is, Paul, that we’re sick of being your pawns. I don’t know why you’re doing this, if it’s some sick way of getting pleasure by fucking with people, but we’re out.”

Ricky shoves me out of the way. “Sorry. Sorry. I don’t know what the hell Ben is talking about but that is NOT how we feel.”

“Put him back on,” O. P. says, and now Trevor looks at me, the smallest smile on his face.

Ricky whispers, “I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, but . . .”

I don’t give him the chance to finish. I sit and O. P. grins at me through the monitor. “So, what do you know?”

I hate the smugness. I hate the arrogance. I hate everything about this dick because he is the embodiment of all that is wrong in our society. But I won’t give in. For all his scheming, I’m still smarter.

“I know you used your niece to get to me. I don’t know why, but that doesn’t matter because more importantly, I know you need us.”

O. P. laughs. “Really? Why’s that?”

“We don’t need you.”

Now he sits up straight and leans in toward his computer. Ricky’s making a choking sound but I ignore him.

“How’s that?”

“That contract means nothing. You don’t own Get Out There. You don’t own anything but some websites. We can take our dares and do with them what we please and post them on YouTube and make ten times more money.”

“You’re correct. My partner owns Get Out There, but hold on, what makes you think I won’t tip off the authorities to who you are?”

“Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor. This coercion, through these chats, it’s been recorded. All we need to do is put it on a flash drive and walk into the local police station. Do you really want to play this game?” Yeah, for once, all year, I’ve done my homework.

O. P. is silent. Ricky is as well. John whispers, “What the hell is going on?”

“That’s not what you want, though, is it?” O. P. asks.

“No.” My heart’s hammering, but otherwise I feel fine. No deep breathing necessary.

“So where do we stand?” O. P. asks, and it may be the first time he sounds genuine.

“You’ll help us with our next dare and that’s it, we’re done with you.”

There’s a long moment, a pause that seems as if FaceTime might have frozen and the air is as saturated with silence as outside, but then O. P. answers. “What do you need?”

—

Dad’s sitting alone
by the fire, drinking a glass of whiskey. He sets it down when I come in and by the look on his face I know the outcome of the auction. Ginny never did text me, and I’m guessing this is why.

“There he is.” His tone’s light, but he’s forcing it.

“Hey, Dad, what’s going on?” I step out of my boots and hang up my coat.

“A number of things. One, we didn’t get the house back.”

I hold on to my coat. How is there anything more than that? I let go and cross the room to him. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I,” he says. “But it is what it is, and maybe for the best?”

Now I know the alcohol’s talking because there’s no way he actually believes any of that, but I understand having to accept and move on. I wish I could have helped earlier with the finances. But there is the future I secured.

I sit. “Did Chuck bid?”

Dad shakes his head. “Not on ours. But others. I think he picked up one.”

Chuck’s crazy but him not bidding on our home makes me respect him a little.

Dad takes a sip of whiskey and he sets his glass down. Then he touches an envelope on the end table.

I freeze. The envelope is from my school. The return address is clear. Shit, this is what’s more. I take a deep breath to calm down, but my stomach feels like a washing machine.

“Ben, I’m sorry I’ve been so
absent
. What with the job and then the house, I feel like I haven’t been around at all, even when I’ve been here.” He picks up the envelope, but doesn’t pull out the contents. “Do you know what this is?”

I can only assume it’s some letter about my shitty GPA. “Maybe?”

His eyes pinch and I know that was the wrong answer.

“Why haven’t you shown us any of your grades?”

The blood drains from my head. I nod at the envelope. “I bet that explains it.”

His face pulls serious. “Why didn’t you say something? If you were struggling this much, we would have helped.”

“But like you said, you’ve been busy.” I feel like a piece of shit for throwing it back at him. I know that’s not the case.

He closes his eyes and sucks air through his teeth. “I know, I know, but your mother, or Ginny, we could have helped.”

I don’t say anything. The fire pops.

“So what do we do now? What’s your plan to bring these grades up? No college is going to accept you with these.”

He’s right. And I know it. But I don’t care. My sister’s brilliant and I should be following in her footsteps. But I’m not.