Dare to Be Different (30 page)

“Drew, I honestly don’t know if we have it in us to talk to you about this tonight.” Dad had his head in his hands and he wouldn’t look at her. Drew’s mom stared blankly at her, almost as though she didn’t even know her. Perhaps she felt that she didn’t.

“Please … I need to … I can’t leave it until tomorrow … we need to fix this.” Drew begged for their attention, because the thought of having to wait until tomorrow to face them was too much for her.

“Drew, there is no quick fix for this. And it really doesn’t matter what you need right now. Your mom and I just don’t have it in us to figure out what we want to say or need to say to you. It’s going to take time. And you’re just going to have
to deal with that.”

Drew hung her head in sadness and embarrassment, knowing that she had really crushed her parents and destroyed their trust in her. She would do anything for the chance to take back her actions that evening. But that wasn’t going to happen. The only thing for her to do was to go to bed.

“I’m so sorry. I love you both. Good night.”

“We love you, too, Drew. Good night.”

Climbing into her bed, Drew was careful not to wake Dani, who was in her own bed across the room, pretending to be asleep. Dani lay there, afraid that Drew would be mad at her for all she had told their parents, so she didn’t let on that she was awake.

Drew lay in bed for a long time as tears quietly soaked her pillow. So much had died that night. It was the death of her innocence in many ways. It was the death of her parents’ trust in her. It was the death of her faith in people. It was the death of her faith in herself. She knew that somehow she would have to find a way to resurrect her faith in God before any of those things could be restored.

Chapter 13

Drew woke up slowly the morning after the party. She rolled over, nauseous, and forgot for a moment why she felt sick. Suddenly, memories from the night before started coming back to her. With a loud groan, she turned over and covered her head with her pillow, trying to escape the memories, even for just one more moment.

After narrowly escaping a run-in with the police, Drew felt equal amounts of regret and relief. She was so regretful about the things she had done, and she knew there were consequences for them that she still had to face. But she was also so very relieved that she escaped a legal problem. Also, as difficult as it was for her to
admit to herself, she was relieved that she had been found out. It was too stressful to carry on like she had been. It was just not natural for her to lie to her parents; and, looking back on the night before, she didn’t like the person she had been. Plus, she knew that she had really been in over her head and was headed for some real trouble. Who knew what last night would have led to after alcohol and drugs … she could have done anything. And it was beginning to seem like Trevor knew that and had been happily taking advantage of it.

Drew sat up in bed and looked over at her sister. Dani was lying on her side with her eyes open, looking back at Drew.

“I’m so sorry,” Dani whispered.

“Why are you sorry?” Drew was confused.

“I totally ratted you out. I told them everything I knew and everything I suspected. I’d just had enough with worrying about you all on my own, and I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“You did do the right thing, and you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Drew, what happened last night? Were there really drugs and alcohol at that party? You didn’t do any, did you? Please tell me you didn’t.” Dani
had so many questions for Drew.

“I wish I could tell you that I did nothing wrong, but I can’t. Everything you heard about the party was true. I wish I could say that I was strong and didn’t do any of it, but I’m so embarrassed to admit, I did it all.”

“Drew! Seriously? Why? I’m so bummed. I mean … I just wish this hadn’t happened at all. I should have stopped it somehow. What did Mom and Dad say?”

“Slow down, sis. It’s not your fault, and there was nothing you could have done to stop it. It was my choice and my fault. And believe me, I wish it hadn’t happened, too. As for Mom and Dad, we haven’t even talked about it yet. I guess it’s about time for me to go face the music. Stalling isn’t going to help things a bit.”

Drew got out of bed, leaving Dani to think over all she had just heard. She brushed her teeth and washed her face, stopping to look at herself for a minute. As she stared at her reflection, she just couldn’t figure out how things had gotten so far out of hand. She tied her hair back into a ponytail and went downstairs. Her mom was in the kitchen, making coffee, and her dad was sitting at the table. The night’s sleep and the
fresh light of day seemed to have calmed them a bit, so she took a seat with her dad and waited for someone to say something. No one did.

“Mom, Dad, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I really screwed up. But I can honestly tell you that I’m relieved to have it over. It was really getting out of hand, and I felt kind of trapped … you know, in over my head.”

“Oh, Drew. Where did we go wrong? What should we have done differently to teach you better about right and wrong? We thought we were doing all the right things,” Mom said, crying.

“Mom, you have done a fantastic job. Look at Dani. I’m just different. I’m more stubborn. And I guess I have to learn from my own mistakes, which is part of being stubborn—but it’s not your fault. I have learned so much from all of this. I mean, I know that I’ll be punished, but believe me, there is no punishment that could be worse than how I feel already. I never knew what real regret felt like. I know I’ve hurt you … that just kills me.”

“Oh, Drew, this is so far beyond punishment.” Dad fingered the corner of his unread newspaper. “Yes, there will be consequences, but it’s more than that. We need to change the way we do
things around here. You’ve lost our trust, and it’s going to take a long time to earn that back. And,” Dad continued, “just so you understand, it’s not that we want to withhold our trust as a punishment, it’s just that we can’t let go of you right now for fear of what you’ll do to yourself. We’re going to have to keep you really close for a long time.”

“I understand, Dad. I don’t blame you. Whatever you want or need from me, whatever I can do, I will do gladly. I am just so grateful to have been spared what a lot of my friends probably faced last night, and I’m so relieved to have been saved from myself and from what I might have done.”

“Drew, you’re going to need to step down from cheerleading,” her mom said without looking at her.

Tears sprang to Drew’s eyes. “Oh, Mom, I was so afraid you’d say that. Is that really necessary? I mean, it’s a school-sponsored activity … wait … you’re right. I just got finished saying that I would do whatever it took. If you think it’s important, I won’t question you.”

Dad sat up in his chair. “Now, Drew, that tells me that you are serious in your remorse. Thank
you for that. But yes, it’s important. For one thing, we don’t want you associating with those kids anymore. For another thing, we feel that you need to get your focus off of yourself, your looks, and the attention and all that comes with cheerleading and get back to basics like school and good friends.”

“Okay, Dad. I can understand that.”

“As for the rest of your punishment, it’s just that things are going to change. No more staying out with friends. No sleepovers, no trips to the mall. You’re going to go to school and come home. You and your sister can find your relationship again. You can go to church and youth group activities. But that’s about it.” Mr. Daniels held up his hand. “Before you ask, I don’t know how long. I guess until we feel you are safe from yourself and your poor decisions.”

Drew sat with her head down. It was difficult to look her parents in the eye, so she just took in their words.

“Drew, your dad and I really want to encourage you to get some counseling from one of the pastors at church. We’d like to see you get back to your roots and find your faith in God again. I think you’ve seen that you don’t have everything
under control. Perhaps you’ve realized that you need Him to be in control. They can help you let go and let Him in again.”

“Okay, Mom. I’ll do it. It’s a good idea.” Drew was trying to stop crying, but she was overcome with emotion. Regret mingled with relief was a powerful emotion.

“As for today,” Dad said, “I have some things I want you to do around the house. Some yard work and some other projects that will keep you busy and give you time to think. Fair?”

“Fair,” Drew agreed.

“One more thing, Drew.” Her mom paused and collected her thoughts. “I don’t want this conversation to end without making sure that you know how much your dad and I love you. This doesn’t change that one bit. We love you so much that we aren’t going to let you go down this path that you’ve found. We don’t think you’re a terrible person, and our love for you hasn’t changed. We know that you’ve made some mistakes, and we’re going to do our best to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Drew nodded as the tears fell hard on her lap.

“Also,” Mom continued, “God’s love for you hasn’t changed a bit, either. He has begun a good work in your life; He began that work a long time
ago. And the Bible promises in Philippians 1:6 that when He begins that good work in someone, He will carry it on to completion. He’ll finish what He started in you. You just need to let go of the control and let Him be your Lord and Savior. You know what I mean?”

Drew nodded, still unable to talk. Her mom went to her immediately and put her motherly arms around her and held her until she could compose herself.

“I love you both. And I heard everything you said about letting God back into the driver’s seat in my life. I will figure out how to do that. I want Him to finish His work in me.”

The day passed quickly. Drew was surprised at how good it felt to work hard. She raked leaves, cleaned out the gutters, stacked wood, and organized the garage and the basement. She worked until she was sweating, and it was like a form of therapy. Dani helped her for a little while—not that Drew needed the help, but they needed the time together. As each project got completed, it felt like a piece of the broken puzzle of her life was put back together. Each time she moved on to the next project, she left a piece of the pain behind.

The one dark moment was when her dad came to tell her what had happened the night before, after they left. The police arrested everyone. Most of them got charged with underage drinking, others got charged with providing alcohol to minors or buying it with a fake ID. Several even got arrested for possession and/or use of drugs. Sorrow for her friends washed over her, but it was mingled, once again, with relief. Neither Drew nor her dad had any idea if this would mean jail time for any of them or if they would face suspension or expulsion from school. The fact that Drew could have easily been with them continued to fill her with immense relief even though she was so sad for her friends.

“Remember, Drew, real friends wouldn’t have put you in a situation like that. They would have known that you weren’t ready and that it was unsafe and illegal. Those types of kids aren’t the kinds of friends you want. Do you realize

that? Really?”

“Yeah, Dad. I mean, it’s hard to let go of what I thought was a dream come true. But I see what you’re saying, and I agree. I miss my old friends. You know? Girls who made me a better person, made it easy to be who I am instead of
making me work so hard to be who they wanted me to be.”

“Ah, yes. I do think you get it, honey. That’s exactly what I was hoping you’d realize.” He gave her a little hug and then left her to finish her project.

Drew looked forward to going to church. She knew that she needed some spiritual healing. But she dreaded seeing the looks on people’s faces and wondering if they knew the story. Oh well, she had to face everyone sooner or later.

Pastor Michaels was his usual fiery self. He was finishing up his series about control, and his sermon focused on how people need to let the attractive things of the world fade into the background rather than let them control desires and drive ambition.

“God doesn’t value the things that the world does,” Pastor Michaels taught. “Popularity, looks, human ability, and material things mean nothing to Him. In fact, the Bible tells us that people who want those things more than they want God’s will already have their reward. That means that whatever you focus on is your reward. If your only goal is to get the most you can out of life,
then your reward
is
this life. But if your goal is to love and serve God and you follow Him, then your reward comes from Him.