Dare You Forever (Brothers of Ink and Steel #2.5)
Read Dare You Forever (Brothers of Ink and Steel #2.5) Online
Authors: Allie Juliette Mousseau
Dare You Forever
Brothers of Ink and Steel
#2.5
A Wedding Novella
by Allie Juliette Mousseau
Copyright © 2015 by Allie Juliette Mousseau.
All Rights Reserved
Published by Allie Juliette Mousseau
All characters and events in this publication other than those clearly in the public domain are fictitious, and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Edited by Nicole Hewitt
Formatted Mike Mousso
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Author’s Note
I’m excited to bring you the Brothers of Ink and Steel Series—a gritty, sexy spin-off of
the True North Series.
Josh North’s story DARE is the bridge book between the two series
TRUE NORTH SERIES
Best reading order:
True North Book 1 Finding Home Livie and Jake
True North Book 2 Finding Us Jules and Nate
True North Book 3 Finding Now Kate and Sam
BROTHERS OF INK AND STEEL
Best reading Order:
DARE
BURN
DARE YOU FOREVER Brothers of Ink and Steel A Wedding Novella #2.5
DEFY
(DEFY is Coming Winter 2015)
All of the books in either series can be read as standalones.
Of course, I definitely encourage reading every novel in both the
True North and Brothers of Ink and Steel series
because the men are delicious bad boys and the women are sassy bad asses!
Dare You Foreve
r
Playlist
on Spotify
https://play.spotify.com/user/alliejuliettemousseau/playlist/4RKVMD4iVzHJJC8l12ib2V
Fight Song – Rachel Platten
Boom Clap – Charli XCX
Want to Want Me – Jason Derulo
Love You Like You Do – Ellie Goulding
Bright – Echosmith
Heartbeat Song – Kelly Clarkson
Invincible – Kelly Clarkson
Take You High – Kelly Clarkson
Piece by Piece – Kelly Clarkson
Little Wonders – Rob Thomas
Always the Same – Rob Thomas
All That You Are – The Goo Goo Dolls
All In – Lifehouse
Dedication
For all those who believe in love
Sophie
“Sophie Garner …
I’m going to make you forget every man you ever knew
I’m going to heal your heart from every broken I love you
I’m going to take on your old demons, chase the shadows until day;
I’ll cherish you forever and never go away.
I’m going to love you, like you’ve never seen
Darlin’ I’m the only man that you’re ever going to need.
”
Our eyes meet as he moves his finger and, from the title belt, drops a string with a gorgeous platinum and diamond ring hanging at the end of it. It catches the light and sparkles brilliantly.
The roar from the crowd is deafening when the ring drops from Josh’s title belt. I’m shell-shocked—
am I really seeing what I think I’m seeing?
Josh drops to one knee! He is undefeatable—the most powerful man in the world—and he humbles himself to be on one knee before me.
HOLY GOD, HE’S ON ONE KNEE!!
All at once I’m soaring, elated! I love this man so deeply it hurts and aches as it fills up every hole in my heart—until it feels ready to burst with an emotion that shines brighter than any sun in any universe. Tears well in my eyes and the engagement ring blurs.
“You’re everything to me … let me be everything to you.”
“You already are,” I say, crying as if it’s just the two of us. As if we’re not positioned in the middle of the octagon surrounded by tens of thousands of spectators.
“Say yes, Mommy,” Charlie’s sweet little voice tells me. I look beside me and there she is, tugging on my long blouse.
“You’d better say yes,” he warns ominously.
Confusion spills over me and a chill infuses into my bones. “What did you say?”
Josh scoops Charlie into his arms and holds her away from me. They’re suddenly so far away, I can’t reach her anymore.
He whispers. “If you say no … I’ll kill you.”
Startled, I jerk awake. My heart is thudding dangerously fast in my chest, and I gulp at the air like a fish thrown to land.
“Baby! You’re okay,” warm, real Josh says from beside me. “It was only a dream.”
My brow creases. I’m not okay—the wedding is days away and I keep dreaming this over and over—or some variation of it: Josh beats the hell out of me then kidnaps Charlie, or Josh murders me, or Josh kills Charlie in front of me. Each one is brutal and feels so fucking real I carry it with me for days until the next one.
It’s crippling.
Josh’s arm comes around me lovingly, protectively. “No one is ever going to hurt you again.”
I pull away jerkily—suddenly repelled by his touch—jump to my feet, and get to the bathroom.
“Soph …”
The door slams shut behind me and I lean against the tile counter catching my breath.
“No,” I say into the vanity mirror. “No one will ever hurt me again.”
I had been telling him about each nightmare, but as they increased in violence, I didn’t have the heart to. He was already crushed.
“Do you believe I could ever hurt you like that?” he asked me one time.
I told him no.
But I don’t think that was completely the truth. If I dig deep, I know the truth is, he could rip me apart—physically, emotionally—publically.
“Sophie?” he calls from the bedroom.
“Just leave me alone, Josh. I’m fine,” I respond.
“You’re not fine!” His voice sounds closer.
Anticipating his next move, I spin quickly, and my fingers grasp the steel lock and twist just before he tries to open the door. I got to it just in time.
“Come on, what are you shutting me out for?” he pleads.
The light heavyweight champion of the world is just outside my bathroom door, pleading with me. But this hard, hot, tattooed badass could destroy me so easily, in a fraction of a second.
I stand no chance.
Some men hide abusive tendencies so well you don’t even see them coming until it’s too late. Makes me think of a Discovery Channel show I saw once where they discussed how, if you put a frog in cool water and then heat the water to boiling, the frog won’t even perceive the danger until it’s too late and he’s boiled to death.
Disgusting right? Poor fucking frog.
I don’t want to be the fucking frog!!
“I love you more than my own life, Sophie,” Josh breathes in desperation on the other side of the door.
“I know,
” I whisper back. I believe he does! He shines in the brightest parts of my heart. But there are still deep, dark crevices in there that are too frightening to investigate.
And thus the nightmares. I understand the cycle.
“Mommy, Mommy!” Charlie’s sweet and perfect voice floats into the room.
I swipe my eyes with the back of my hand—I hadn’t even realized I’d started crying—and quickly open the door.
“Hey, cupcake.” I stoop to my knee and lift her to my hip.
“I’m Elsa and I’m making everything turn to ice!” Her hands dance through the air around her as if she’s wielding magic. She’s the mirror image of the princess, complete with the blond-white wig and sparkling blue costume gown. They were a gift from Josh after they’d watched the film together.
“I can see that,” I chime for her benefit. “Brrr … you’re so cold!”
She giggles, more than satisfied, then asks, “Will you make pancakes? Pancakes will help my ice.”
“She makes a convincing argument.” Josh leans in and kisses the crown of her head.
“I’ll be down in just a second,” I assure her.
“YAY!” She runs out of the room, shouting.
Josh takes me into his arms and holds me tightly so I can’t get away. “The dreams are not real—they’re not the truth.”
“They hurt,” I confess bitterly.
“I know they do.”
It isn’t fair! I’m finally happy, and instead of being able to enjoy that, I’m suffocated with fear!
What if the dreams are a premonition?
The thought ghosts through my mind.
It’s not! Josh is not Jim, Josh is not Jim.
“Do you want to talk to Dr. McCarthy?” Josh asks.
“No. I’ve talked enough.”
It’s been six months since Jim kidnapped Charlie and me. Six months since I pulled the trigger and killed him in self-defense. Since Charlie woke up from the Ketamine drug-induced sleep Jim could have killed her with.
Six months since Charlie and I’ve been free—truly and tangibly free! No more running, no more hiding, no more changing our names or hair colors and styles. No more looking over my shoulder every few minutes.
We aren’t a target anymore, and damn it, I want to enjoy that!
“Sophie?” Josh’s gentle finger traces my face.
“It’s not you. It’s me,” I say honestly. “I have to move past it all, and I think that can only happen with time.”
But if I were really being honest, I’d admit that I was scared—scared of Josh and what happens next. How lame is that? He’s proven himself so many times over.
So what is it? If it has a penis and I have feelings for it, it’s going to cause me anguish? That’s been my stellar track record.
“I need to make Princess Elsa pancakes.” I’m not scared now, just sad. I can’t hide it.
Josh nods and lets me go.
Josh
Sophie’s fear is killing me. I know it’s residual, but it’s all getting transferred onto me. I understand, but that doesn’t make it easier for either of us. And as the wedding day approaches it’s becoming an even fiercer contender for her heart and mind.
I’m fighting ghosts … and they’re winning.
I’ve been worried that she’s going to bolt for real this time. It’s what she’s accustomed to doing.
“Wait, Sophie.” I catch her arm. When her eyes lock with mine they’re wide and frightened. “You know, I’m not going anywhere. If you want to push the wedding date back, if it would bring you peace, then we should.”
“Thanks, Josh. I know it’s an option.”
Damn and fuck, she looks sad—too fucking sad for a woman a few days before her wedding day.
I loosen my grip around her arm and she leaves me standing alone in the bedroom. The horrible thought comes to me that she could leave me standing there at the altar.
“No way. Sophie would never do that,” I tell myself for comfort, but ultimately, I don’t feel convinced.
We went to a dozen sessions with the psychiatrist the hospital recommended after she was treated for the injuries that Jim caused, and she talked about every intimate detail of that fucking horrible day, but when the doctor probed deeper and tried to get into more of her past with Jim, she didn’t want to talk about it. She said it would be like reliving it, and she wouldn’t. But I know she’s reliving it anyway and I don’t know how to help her.
I hate feeling fucking helpless. It’s completely against everything in my nature.
I have to make it right.
After I shower and shave, I find my way to the kitchen and stop in my tracks. I’ve seen Sophie a thousand times with Charlie, but the sweet way she loves just completely emanates from her.
The two of them are standing posed in the middle of the kitchen, the “Let it Go” song from
Frozen
, Charlie’s favorite princess movie, is playing from Sophie’s phone, and they’re acting out the scene together. Little Charlie looks so sassy being the ice-girl. The two of them are so happy together.
I watch from the distance, afraid of breaking the spell. When the song ends I applaud for them. Charlie squeals and bows.
Sophie blushes and she’s irresistible. I close the distance between us.
“It’s a beautiful July morning—the sky is clear and blue—we could take Charlie to the lake.”
“SWIMMING!” Charlie yells, amping up the volume in the kitchen.
The morning sun sparkles across the lake. I haven’t been here since I tricked Liam—who is to be my best man at the wedding—and his ex-girlfriend (now wife) by bringing them here and leaving them to walk five long miles home in the hopes that they’d finally open up to each other. I feel like I’m trying to reach out and capture some of that magic, hoping it could help me and Sophie.
I spread a blanket over the grass, and Sophie lays out Charlie’s toys and the snacks we picked up from Whole Foods.
Charlie goes running down to the water’s edge and screams when her toes dip into the chilly water, making Sophie laugh.
“How many more would you want to have?” I ask, leaning back on my arms.
“More of what?” She squints in my direction.
“Kids, of course,” I answer.
“Oh … I um … never thought of it,” she says.
“I bet Charlie would love a little sister,” I muse. I could see her playing dollies with her, the two of them running around like little princesses.
“I don’t know if …” Sophie’s words seem to stick in her throat.
“If what?” I push.
“Maybe Charlie is enough?” She doesn’t sound like she’s convinced herself.
“You’re an amazing mom, and she’d love to be a big sister!”
“It would give her someone to boss around,” she admits.
“So how many? Three? Four?”
When she doesn’t answer I keep going. “Five? Hell, six is fine with me—I hope they all look like you.”
“
Six children?”
she chokes.
Now I’m playing. “Seven? Wow, eight?! Sounds good to me, woman—I’d love to make babies with you.”
She looks even sadder as she gazes out at Charlie and swallows so hard I can hear it.
“Jesus Christ, Sophie! You’re killing me!”
“I’m not trying to,” she barks back.
“What is going on in that beautiful mind?” I stroke her hand and tickle up her arm with my fingertips.
“Nothing that’s very beautiful.” She goes quiet, rubs her temples and says, barely audibly, “What if you don’t love her as much as you love your own?”
“My own?” Her question throws me over the fence and out of the park. “Sophie, this love I have for the two of you isn’t going to be altered or dialed down, it’s going to spread. My parents say love is limitless, that’s why they can have all of these kids and love each of them with the same ardency.”
“I don’t know, Josh, it happens to even the best of men.”
“Well if that bullshit does happen, I can tell you now, they’re not the best of men,” I spit out.
“How can you be sure?” Her eyes plead with mine, searching for answers to the future as if she were studying a crystal ball.
“Because I know myself, Sophie. You know me too,” I remind her.
Abruptly, she shouts, “Not so far out, Charlie!”
Charlie is getting braver in the water and has waded in almost up to her waist.
She comes back to shallower waters.
“I need to use the bathroom. You’ve got her?” Sophie asks me, as if she has to. That is almost immediately insulting.
“Yeah, I got her.”
I’ve had her—and you—for almost a year.
Sophie gets up and walks toward the park’s facilities. Meanwhile, I watch Charlie splashing at the water’s edge. A smile spreads over my face as I remember the first time she called me Daddy. We were hanging out in the children’s section of the library and Charlie had picked up almost twenty books to bring home. Her favorites are by the author Mercer Meyer, with funny storylines and a beaver family as the main characters.
“What’s this one?” Charlie asked holding up one of the books.
“How about we pick a different one?” Sophie said, trying to divert her attention.
“No! I want this one.” She stomped her foot.
Sophie looked to me then sighed deeply. That’s when I noticed the title—
Just Me and My Dad
.
“All right, I’ll read it, but you have to find one more, and those two we’re only going to read here, we won’t bring them home.”
“But you’re supposed to bring them home,” she demanded.
“Not these two,” Sophie said as she picked up a book in the same series entitled
Just Me and My Mom.
The three of us got comfortable on the library’s couch, and Sophie and I took turns reading every other page. Halfway through the dad book, Charlie’s eyes lit up like it was the fourth of July.
“Joshy is MY daddy!” she sing-songed happily. “My Joshy-Daddy.”
After she said it she wrapped her soft little arms around me and squeezed me in the most loving, accepting hug I’d ever felt.
I beamed proudly.
Sophie on the other hand … her expression became so conflicted.
“We’re already engaged!” I reminded her once we were back home. “I swear, I’m not going anywhere.”
“You don’t know that for sure. Not for certain,” she accused.
“There are no guarantees in this life but the human race keeps pushing on,” I said. “So let me try to say it this way. I’m not leaving you or Charlie, ever! You’re both my girls and no one and nothing is ever going to change that.”
“She’s never called anyone Daddy before.”
“That’s because her real daddy—that would be
me
—wasn’t in her life yet.”