Authors: Katie McGarry
Unable to stomach the tension much longer, I clear my throat. “Did Dad tell you we met Scott Risk and his—” psychotic “—niece?”
“No.” My mother stabs at the cherry tomato rolling around in her salad bowl. The moment she spears the small round vegetable, Mom glares at Dad. “He has a niece?”
Dad holds her gaze with irritated
indifference and follows it up with a drink from his longneck.
“I gave you a wineglass,” Mom reminds
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him.
Dad places the longneck, which drips with condensation, next to said glass right on the wood of the table—without a coaster. Mom
shifts in her seat like a crow fluffing out its wings. The only thing she’s missing is the pissed-off caw.
For the last few months, Dad and I have
been eating our dinners in the living room while watching TV. Mom gave up food after Mark left.
Mom and Dad began marriage counseling a
few weeks ago, though they have yet to
directly tell me. The need to project perfection won’t allow them to admit to a flaw like their marriage needing help from an outside source.
Instead I found out the same way I discover anything in this house: I overheard them
fighting in the living room while I lay in bed at night.
Last week, their marriage counselor
recommended that Mom and Dad try to do
something as a family. They fought for two days over what that something should be until they settled on Sunday dinner.
It’s why I invited Mark. We haven’t had a
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dinner together since he left and if he’d showed, maybe the four of us could have found a way to reconnect.
I wonder if Mom and Dad feel the emptiness of the chair next to mine. Mark possessed this charm that kept my parents from fighting. If they were annoyed with each other, Mark
would tell a story or a joke to break the chill.
The arctic winter in my house never existed when he was home.
“Yeah, he has a niece,” I say, hoping to
move the conversation forward and to fill the hollowness inside me. “Her name is Elisabeth.
Beth.” And she’s making my life hell—not too different from suffering through this dinner.
I tear a biscuit apart and slather on some butter. Beth embarrassed me in front of Scott Risk and I lost a dare because of her. I drop the biscuit—the dare. A spark ignites in my brain.
Chris and I never set a time limit on it, which means I can still win.
Mom straightens the napkin on her lap,
disrupting my thoughts. “You should be
friendly with her, Ryan, but maintain your distance. The Risks had a reputation years ago.”
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Dad’s chair scrapes against the new tile
and he makes a disgusted noise in his throat.
“What?” Mom demands.
Dad rolls his shoulders back and focuses on his beef instead of answering.
“You have something to say,” prods Mom,
“say it.”
Dad tosses his fork onto his plate. “Scott Risk has some valuable contacts. I say get close to her, Ryan. Show her around. If you do a favor for him, I’m sure he’d do one for you.”
“Of course,” says Mom. “Give him advice
that goes directly against mine.”
Dad begins talking over her and their
combined raised voices cause my head to
throb. Losing my appetite, I slide my chair away from the table. It’s gut-wrenching,
listening to the ongoing annihilation of my family. There is absolutely no worse sound on the face of the planet.
Until the phone rings. My parents fall silent as all three of us look over at the counter and see Mark’s name appear on the caller ID. A rocky combination of hope and hurt creates a heaviness in my throat and stomach.
“Let it go,” Dad murmurs.
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Mom stands on the second ring and my
heart beats in my ears.
Come on, Mom, answer.
Please.
“We could talk to him,” she says as she
stares at the phone. “Tell him that as long as he keeps it a secret he can come home.”
“Yeah,” I say, hoping that one of them will change their minds. Maybe this time Mark
would choose to stay and fight instead of leaving me behind. “We should answer.”
The phone rings a fourth time.
“Not in my house.” Dad never stops glaring at his plate.
And the answering machine picks up.
Mom’s cheerful voice announces that we’re away at the moment, but to please leave a message. Then there’s a beep.
Nothing. No message. No static. Nothing.
My brother doesn’t have the balls to leave me a message.
And I’m not stupid. If he wanted to talk to me, he could have called my cell. This was a test. I invited him to dinner and he was calling to see if I was the only one who wanted him home. I guess we all failed.
Mom clutches the pearls around her neck
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and the hope within me fades into an angry clawing. Mark left. He left me to deal with this destruction on my own.
I jerk out of my seat and my mother turns to face me. “Where are you going?”
“I’ve got homework.”
The corkboard over my computer desk
vibrates when I slam my bedroom door shut. I pace the room and press my hands against my head. I’ve got a damn homework assignment and the clarity and calm of a boat being tossed by the waves. What I need to do is run off the anger, lift weights until my muscles burn, throw pitches until my shoulder falls off.
I shouldn’t be writing a damn four-page
English paper on anything “I want.”
The chair in front of my desk rolls back as I fling myself into the seat. With one press of a button the monitor brightens to life. The cursor mockingly blinks at me from the blank page.
Four pages. Single spaced. One-inch
margins. My teacher’s expectations are too high. Especially since it’s still technically summer vacation.
My fingers bang on the keys.
I’ve played
ball since I was three.
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And I stop typing. Baseball…it’s what I
should write about. It’s what I know. But the emotions churning inside of me need a release.
Dad and Mom would turn into raging bulls
if I wrote about the real status of my family.
Appearances mean everything. I bet they
haven’t even told their marriage counselor the truth about why they see her.
A dawning realization soothes some of the anger. I shouldn’t do it. If anyone figured it out, I’d be in deep, but right now I need to dump all the resentment. I erase the first line and give words to the emotions begging for freedom.
George woke up with a vague
memory of what used to be, but
one glance to the left brought on
a harrowing realization of what
his new reality was. Of what,
specifically, he had become.
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“THEY MIGHT REMEMBER ME.” Mondays suck
and so does the first day of school in
Hicksville, USA. I lean against the windows in the guidance counselor’s office and look
around. Décor circa the 1970s: faux wood
paneling, desk and chairs bought from the Wal-Mart bargain basket. The scent of mildew
hangs in the air. This is backwoods schools at their finest.
“That’s the point, Elisabeth.” Scott flips through a thick schedule booklet. “Your old elementary school is one of three schools that feed into here. You’ll know some people and rekindle old friendships. What about Home Ec? You and I baked cookies a couple of times, remember?”
“Beth. I go by Beth.” It’s like the man is learning impaired. “And the last time I baked
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anything, it was brownies and I put…”
“We’ll put Home Ec in the No section. But I prefer the name Elisabeth. What was your best friend’s name? I used to drive you to her house.”
And we played with dolls. Over and over
again. Her mom let us use her real cups for tea parties. They had a real house with real beds and I loved staying for dinner. Their food was hot. It becomes hard to swallow. “Lacy.”
“That’s right. Lacy Harper.”
The door to the office opens and the
guidance counselor pops in his head. “Just a few more minutes, Mr. Risk. I’m on the line with Eastwick High.”
Scott drops that cheesy grin. “Take your
time. Is there a Lacy Harper at this school?”
Somebody shoot me. Now. Right now.
“Yes, there is.”
The fun doesn’t stop coming. Scott glances at me. “Isn’t that great?”
I overly fake my response. “Awesome.”
He either chooses to ignore my sarcasm or believes my excitement. “Mr. Dwyer, could you place Beth in one of Lacy’s classes?”
Mr. Dwyer practically falls to the floor in
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admiration. “We’ll certainly try.” He
withdraws from his own office and shuts the door.
“Were you smacked upside the head with a
bat?” I can’t believe Scott expects me to attend this school.
“Only when I was five and on days that end in
y
,” he mumbles, still flipping through the catalog. His response pricks my chest. I’ve done my best to block out that portion of my childhood. Grandpa, his dad, used to beat the crap out of him and my dad. Scott kept him from doing the same to me. “What about
Spanish?”
I actually smile. “My friend Rico taught me some Spanish. If a guy’s too touchy I can say…”
“Strike Spanish.”
Damn. That could have been fun. “Seriously, Scott. Do you really want me going to school here? Have you thought this through? Your pet with a wedding ring…”
“Allison. Her name is Allison. Let’s say it together. All-i-son. See, not so hard.”
“Whatever. She loves how everybody
worships you. How long is that going to last
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when they remember that you’re low-life
trash from the trailer park a couple miles out of Groveton?”
He stops flipping through the catalog. Even though his eyes fix on the paper, I can tell he’s no longer reading. “I’m not that kid anymore.
People only care about who I am now.”
“How long do you think it will take before people remember me or Mom?” I meant to say it nasty, like a threat, but it came out soft and I hate myself for it.
Scott looks at me and I loathe the sympathy in his eyes. “They’ll remember you the way I do—a beautiful girl who loved life.”
Pissed that he keeps discussing that poor pathetic girl, I break eye contact. “She died.”
“No, she didn’t.” He pauses. “As for your mom, she moved into town her sophomore
year and dropped out when she was still
fifteen. People won’t remember her.”
Nausea strikes and my hand drops to my
abdomen. Scott wasn’t there when the police came to the trailer and he wasn’t there to dry my tears. This is a small town and everyone knows everyone else. Even though they
promised to keep that night a secret, I’m sure
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someone told.
“What happens to both of us when someone
remembers Dad?” I ask. “No one’s going to worship you then. This is a bad mistake, Scott.
Send me home.”
“Mr. Risk.” The guidance counselor from
Hicksville pokes his head into the office.
Worry lines clutter his overly large forehead and his fingers white-knuckle a fax. I told him I majored in detention while at Eastwick. “Can I have a moment?”
I tilt my head, knowing the words to say to make Mr. Dwyer uncomfortable. “What was
that class you wanted to put me in? Hmm.” I tap my finger to my chin. “Honors English?”
“Sit down, Elisabeth.” Scott’s getting really good at demanding things in a low voice.
“Okay, Mr. Dwyer, let’s discuss Beth’s
schedule.”
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, bow your heads and
give an amen. Scott Risk’s niece is attending Bullitt County High and the dare is back in play. I weave through the crowded hallway with an extra spring in my step.
Defeat
is a nasty word. A word I no longer have to accept.
My mood crashes when I spot Chris backing Lacy against a locker. His head angles down as hers inches up. Not a good position to be in with the assistant principal exiting his office.
Last year, he lectured the junior class on our hormones, carnal impulses, and the
consequences for those who break the body boundary barrier. In plain English: if you’re caught standing close to a person of the
opposite sex, then you’ll spend a day in
detention. Back-to-back state championships require practice, not detention.
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“Backseats of cars work.” I ease to the
other side of Chris and Lacy to block the oncoming assistant principal’s view.
“Preferably off campus.”
Chris groans when Lacy places her hand on his chest and pushes him until they’re an
“acceptable” distance apart. She lets out a frustrated sigh. “Morning, Ry.”
“Go away,” Chris says flatly.
“The assistant principal is on the prowl and we are not moving practice like we did last year because you’re sitting in detention.”
Chris lets out a sigh identical to Lacy’s.
“You need a girlfriend.”
“Exactly!” Lacy throws her arms out. “I’ve been saying that for months. Not an evil
girlfriend. We are not doing evil again. I was tired of wearing crucifixes. I considered carrying holy water, but then I would have had to sneak into a church and then—”
“Shut it down,” I tell her. There has always been bad blood between Gwen and Lace, but I dated Gwen once. I won’t tolerate anyone
disrespecting her.
The first warning bell rings, and the three of us head to English. Standing by himself,