Dark Desire (27 page)
I can't believe you would betray me like this. You're siding with them. Why, Jacques? You owe me more respect than this.
Because without you, I am far too dangerous to the world. Because what I feel for you goes far beyond the human emotion of love.
Jacques tipped her chin up and forced her green eyes to meet his black ones. At once she could feel his will bending hers to do his bidding. She was falling forward into the depths of his eyes. His voice was murmuring in her head, a low command she tried hard to resist.
You will accept what the healer offers.
Gregori was already moving forward, his soft voice adding to the power of Jacques'. He bit carefully into his wrist and held it to Shea's mouth. The scent was overpowering, triggering the terrible hunger and need in her. Jacques' palm was pressing the back of her head, forcing her toward the liquid of life, the healing ancient blood that would pour power and strength into her body.
"She is strong-willed, Jacques," Gregori counseled softly. Shea was fighting the compulsion to feed. The rich blood, so potent, flowing into her starving body, did not weaken her resistance, it merely made her stronger. Gregori could see that Jacques was wavering as he watched Shea fight the compulsion. Jacques' mind might be fragmented, he might even be mad at times, but his feelings for Shea were strong and healthy. The healer purposely dropped his voice another octave, using the purity of his tone to persuade Jacques. "Our women are few, the only hope for our people. The one sure way to wipe out our people is to murder our women. They must be guarded at all times. The assassins have returned to our land. The very soil groans under their boots."
"Shea has seen them." Jacques watched warily as Mikhail approached, still not trusting himself with the man who had come so close to strangling Shea. "They have nearly caught her twice."
"Feed, Jacques. I offer my life freely to you as you have so many times done for me." Mikhail slashed his wrist and held it out to his brother.
The moment the richness spilled into his mouth, the taste and surge of power brought a rush of fragments of memories. Mikhail laughing, pushing Jacques from a tree branch playfully. Mikhail's body crouched low, protectively, in front of his as a vampire with brown-stained teeth began to grow long, dagger-like nails. Mikhail holding Raven's limp body, a river of blood, the earth and sky erupting all around them while Mikhail looked up at Jacques with the hopeless resolve to join his lifemate in her fate.
Jacques' eyes jumped to Mikhail's face, examined every inch of it. This man was a leader, a dangerous, powerful predator who had skillfully steered their dying race through centuries of pitfalls. One whom such as Gregori chose to follow. Something stirred inside Jacques, the need to protect this man, to shield him.
Mikhail.
Mikhail's head jerked up. He heard his name echo clearly in his head. The path had been there for one heartbeat, familiar and strong; then just as quickly it was lost.
Jacques was so distracted by the pieces of memories floating in his mind, his hold on Shea slipped. Shea felt his inattention and gathered herself, waiting, waiting. The moment the compulsion lifted, she wrenched her head from Gregori's wrist and leapt away. Jerking the heavy door open, Shea fled into the fury of the storm.
The air in the cabin stilled, thickened with a kind of malevolent darkness. Jacques' features were a granite mask, his black eyes flat and hard. He took one last swallow of the powerful" liquid, carefully closed the wound, and lifted his head. "I thank you for your assistance, but I must ask you to leave. Perhaps tomorrow night you will try your hand at mending my mind, healer." His gaze was on the night, a dark purpose creeping into his tone.
"Jacques…" Raven ventured hesitantly. This stranger was more beast than man, not the gentle brother-in-law she had known. At one time, Jacques had been filled with lazy amusement, with laughter and boyish pranks. Now he was a being without mercy, dangerous, insane perhaps.
Mikhail silently pulled her from the cabin, his body already beginning to lose form.
They have to work it out themselves, my love.
He seems so dangerous.
He cannot harm his lifemate.
Mikhail tried valiantly to believe it. There was a darkness in Jacques, a truly frightening void none of them could breach.
Gregori hesitated in the doorway. "Take precautions when you sleep, Jacques. We are hunted." He, too, shimmered, dissolved, and streamed into the night.
Gregori, will he harm her?
In spite of his reassurance to Raven, Mikhail felt he couldn't take any chances with Shea's health. If anyone could assess the damage to Jacques' mind, it was the healer.
He thinks to punish her impetuous behavior,
Gregori replied softly,
but I can feel his mind turning to hers, taking in her overwhelming emotions. He tries to be angry with her, but it will not stay in his mind.
The blood from the ancients had given Jacques his full strength. He felt his immense power, savored it once again. On bare feet he padded across the room to the door and inhaled deeply. Despite the storm, he knew exactly where Shea was. He was in her mind at all times, never separated. He could feel her wild emotions, her panic and desperation, her need to escape the mountains, the Carpathians. To escape him.
You will return to me, Shea.
It was a clear order, and he hoped she would obey him, hoped he would not have to force her.
Shea leapt over a rotting log and stopped abruptly under the canopy of a huge tree. The command was stark, impressive in its absence of emotion. She recognized anger in herself. It was new to her. Brand new. She couldn't remember being angry before. Shea was usually careful not to feel anything at all. She preferred to analyze things.
Please try to understand, Jacques. I won't be a part of this.
I will not argue long distance with you. Come to me now.
For strength Shea clutched at an overhead tree branch. Jacques' lack of inflection frightened her more than his anger could have. She sensed a power in him, a total confidence.
I won't come back. I can't. Just live your life, Jacques. You have it back now.
If Jacques had really felt no emotion in centuries, then he would be struggling just as she was to stay in control. Everything seemed so intense. She wanted the calm, tranquil world she understood, where her brain ruled and emotions could be pushed aside.
You cannot possibly win this battle, Shea.
It was a warning, nothing less. The tone was devoid of any feeling whatsoever.
Why does it have to be a battle? You need to accept my decision. I have the right to leave.
Come to me, Shea.
There was iron strength in his command. This time he exerted a subtle but frightening pressure.
Shea pressed both hands to her head.
Stop it! You can't force me.
Of course I can.
Even as the words echoed in his mind, he realized they were true. He could do almost anything. He stepped off the porch into the driving rain and stretched his muscles lazily, reveling in their response. He was truly alive again. He could easily bring her to him, bend her will to his. She needed to learn that Carpathian women were under their lifemate's protection at all times. She never took precautions, never scanned her surroundings; she never took care for her own protection.
Was that the kind of man he had become? Had he always been so? Someone willing to force his will on the one person who cared for him, risked her life for him? Was it so much to ask that he give her time to adjust? Jacques rubbed the bridge of his nose thoughtfully.
She was so fragile, so vulnerable. Shea could brave the wildest river or highest mountain. She had the strength to handle any crisis, but not her own emotions. His competent little redhead was terrified of her feelings for him. Her childhood had been a nightmare. He could not allow her life with him to become the same thing.
Jacques actually felt the curious melting in the region of his heart, the surge of heat that rushed through his bloodstream.
Little one, why do you persist in fighting me?
His voice, whispering so softly in her mind, was filled with tenderness.
Do you know what will happen to you without me?
Her entire being responded to the velvet caress of his voice, the rising tide of love. If he had continued to argue and chastise, she would have had a chance, but the moment he spoke in that tender, caressing way, she was lost. At once she felt overwhelming despair. She could never be free of him, never.
Is that such a terrible fate, love?
His voice turned her heart over.
To be with me?
This time there was a single thread of hurt.
Am I truly such a monster then?
I don't know how to be with you. 1 feel trapped, like I can't move or think.
Shea pressed her fingers to her temple, her back to the tree.
I don't want to need you. I don't want to be with any of them.
He was moving steadily toward her, not fast, not slow. The rain drove down on his broad shoulders, glistened off his back. The coolness only added to the gathering heat in his body. She seemed small and defenseless. With each step into the night, with the soil beneath his feet, and the ancient's blood flowing in his veins, his strength grew.
I need you just to breathe, Shea,
he admitted starkly.
I am sorry that terrifies you. I wish that I had more control, but I cannot be alone like that, not ever again. I try to keep my presence in you but a shadow. Perhaps with time I can let go a bit. Being with me terrifies you, but being without you terrifies me.
A note of amusement crept in.
We are so compatible.
Shea knew he was coming toward her; she could tell by the way her heart pounded in anticipation, the way her body came alive. She buried her face in the crook of her arm, hanging on grimly to the branch above her.
You don't know me, Jacques.
I am in you. I know you. You are afraid of me, of what I can do. You are afraid of my instability, my power. You fear what I am and what you have become. Yet you are strong and determined that no harm shall come to me. You know your brain is excited at the possibilities of the existence of our race.
His laughter was soft and inviting.
I am your lifemate, bound to treasure you, cherish and protect you. Always see to your happiness. And you have the same abilities as I.
Your first thought was to force me back to you,
she accused him.
Shea, my love, you never think to scan, never check for danger. And you cannot exist without me. It is my duty and my right to protect you.
What happens to me if you die? What happens to you if I die?
She knew the answer; she had watched her mother's empty life.
This is obsession.
She said the words aloud so that the wind could carry them through the mountains. "I won't be like her." She lifted her face to the driving rain so that the drops ran down her face like tears. It was too late. She couldn't survive without Jacques. Wasn't she just like her mother after all?
He came out of the night so beautifully male that he took her breath away. His black eyes moved over her possessively, curiously predatory.
Shea shook her head. "I'm not strong enough, Jacques." The wind whipped at her, nearly drove her sideways.
"Choose life for us, Shea, for our children. I will not be easy to live with, but I swear to you, no one could love you more. I will do anything to make you happy."
"Don't you see? You can't make another person happy. I'm the only one who can do that for myself. And I can't do this."
"You are just afraid. We both have some problems, Shea. You fear the intimacy and I lack of it. It is simply a matter of meeting somewhere in the middle."
His voice was so soft, she felt it on her very skin, as if his fingertips were skimming over satin in the lightest caress. Jacques stepped closer, beneath the tree's canopy, his dark eyes intense. "Choose me now, Shea. Need me. Want me. Love me. Choose life for us."
"It shouldn't be like this."
"We are not human. We are Carpathian, of the earth. We command the wind and the rain. The animals are our brethren. We can run with the wolf, soar with the owl, and become one with the rain itself. We are not human, Shea. We do not feed on flesh as humans do, and we do not love as humans do. We are different."
"We are hunted all the time."
"And we hunt. It is the cycle of life. Shea, look at me."
Chapter Ten
Shea lifted her emerald gaze to the disturbing intensity of Jacques' black eyes. He was so close that she could feel the heat of his skin reaching out to her. His fingertips brushed the curve of her cheek, her mouth. His need of her was as elemental as the storm itself. It burned in him like the hot sizzle of electricity, like the slowly spreading heat of molten lava. "Need me, Shea." His voice ached with it. "Need me the same way I need you. I would give my life for you. Live for me. Find a way to live for me. Love me that much."
Her eyelashes swept down, raindrops glistening on the ends of the feathery crescents. "You don't know what you're asking of me."
His hands framed her face, thumbs brushing her frantic pulse. Each light caress sent flames dancing through her body. Her gaze once more reluctantly found his, her eyes filled with a kind of hopelessness. "Of course I know what the cost is to you, little one. I feel your reluctance, your revulsion of our feeding habits." His hand slid to the nape of her neck, drew her close.
"I've tried to make the adjustment," she protested. "I need more time."
"I know that, Shea. I should have found another way to help you heal. I am trying to find out what kind of lifemate you have. I want to be what you need, someone you can respect and love, not someone who imposes his will and takes the expedient way out. There are ways, little love, to feed you without revulsion." His mouth found her pulse, felt it jump under the velvet rasp of his tongue.