Dark Destiny (24 page)

She lay curled beside him, taking comfort from the heat of his body when hers was so cold. Listening to the sound of his voice, Destiny closed her eyes. She loved his voice, the one anchor she could cling to in every storm. "Do you think I don't know that, Nicolae, that I don't feel the same things you do? I know making love with you is the most natural thing in the world. My body…" She trailed off. Was on fire. A liquid cauldron of heat and fire spinning almost out of control. She wanted him more than she had ever thought possible. Her fist clenched. Tears burned her eyes and clogged her throat. She felt completely out of control, when she so desperately needed to be in control.

He lifted the heavy mass of hair from the nape of her neck and pressed his lips to her skin. "Why did you withdraw from me? I could have aided you when you were panicking."

"Don't use the word panic. It's so humiliating." She was very aware of his hand at her waist, his fingers splayed wide over her skin. His palm was a brand, burning into her stomach, right through to the hot, wet core of her desire. She shifted so that his fingers came in contact with the underside of her breast. The slight brush of sensation shook her, left her trembling for more. She
wanted
him. Wanted him with every fiber of her being. Her very cells were crying out for him. Yet there was that terrible knot in her gut, that block in her mind.

"I want to disappear." She murmured the words softly. "Just disappear so I never have to face you again."

"Destiny. Do not say that. Do not ever feel that way." His teeth grazed her neck, a small punishment, a seduction of already drugged senses. "I do not need the physical expression of love as much as you seem to think I do. I can wait. Come on. You are not going to lie here crying and shatter my heart into a million pieces. That I cannot take." It was the first time he had ever deliberately told her a lie. He hoped he would never again need to do so. He needed the physical expression of love more than he needed to breathe. His body was hot and uncomfortable, so hot he was afraid he might spontaneously combust. His features remained impassive, his mind serene, while his belly knotted with frustration.

Nicolae was on his feet, easily lifting her so that she had no choice but to wrap her arms around his neck. Her vivid gaze met his. "What are you doing?" They were locked skin to skin. Her awareness of him heightened immediately.

There was a small silence while their hearts beat out a rhythm of hunger. His gaze roamed her face possessively, dropped to view the lush enticement of her full breasts. "A woman's body is a miracle."

"You're embarrassing me." Her breasts were embarrassing her, jutting up at him, aching for attention.

Her nipples were hard peaks, so sensitive his breath alone sent desire spiraling through her body.

"It is a miracle. You can carry life in your body." He bent his head to her, giving her no choice but to meet him halfway.

She lifted her face to his, drawn by shared desire, drawn by need beyond her knowledge, as elemental as time. His mouth fastened on hers. He said there was life in her body; if it were so, he gave it to her. She wanted to be everything he needed. She had been inside his mind so many times in the past. She'd lived there, sought refuge there, and she knew him inside and out.

Nicolae
. She sent his name fluttering like a butterfly through his mind. A whisper of sound, of aching love. Of commitment. Just the touch of his mouth, his hands, weakened her, sent her soaring. Dreaming.

"Why do you feel such sorrow, Destiny?" He kissed her chin, his teeth scraping gently over her skin. "I feel tears in your heart."

Because she carried death in her body. Disease. A corruption not meant for the earth. How could she say that to him when he was looking at her with such love? Instead, she swallowed the words and buried her face against his throat to prevent him from reading her expression. "I want to be what you need, Nicolae. I want to be your lifemate."

His lips were on her hair. "You are my lifemate, Destiny. We are bound together, two halves of the same whole. You feel it. I know you feel it."

She lifted her head to look into his eyes. "I know it, yes—how could I not? But what kind of lifemate would do what I've done to you?" She wanted him to see her. Really see her, not what he wanted to see.

He waded out into the pool, cradling her in his arms. "What have you done to me, little one? Everything I have asked of you and more. You share my mind. Do you see me thinking I have been cheated? I share your mind and what you think is nonsense."

She tightened her hold on his neck and reached up to feather a line of kisses along his jaw, grateful for his unrelenting loyalty. His absolute faith gave her hope, melted her heart, made her feel beautiful. "I don't think you'd ever ask anything for yourself if you thought it would make me uncomfortable or unhappy, Nicolae."

He laughed softly. "I am not the wonder you are making me out to be, Destiny. I want you with everything I am. I can afford to be patient. We have eternity. I may feel the urgency of wanting to unite physically with you, but if we wait, I know it will happen eventually."

"Total confidence in yourself?" Her eyebrows shot up. She attempted to tease him, wanting to find a way to salvage something of their time together.

"Total confidence in
you
," he corrected, slowly lowering her feet into the pool.

The water felt amazing. Warm and wet, with tiny bubbles bursting and fizzing over her skin. She sank down into the depths immediately, delighted with the sensation. "This is fed from underground, isn't it?"

Nicolae was very aware of her eyes on him, drinking him in shyly, warily. In the clear bubbles of the pool he could see her body, enhanced by the shimmering water. She looked more seductive than ever, a water nymph bent on bewitching him. His body hardened to the point of pain. He had thought that being in the pool would relax him, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. The bubbles felt like tiny fingers caressing his erection, bursting and fizzing over him until he couldn't think straight.

"Tongues." Destiny swam closer to him, her body stretched out so that her shapely buttocks flashed through the water. She ached for him all over again.

Just looking at him made her restless and edgy with need. And more than that, she wanted to please him, to do something to express the way she felt about him. Something to show him how much he meant to her.

Nicolae remained unmoving, still as a statue, watching the water caress her skin. The flickering light of the flames cast shadows across the pool, heightening their awareness of one another. "Tongues?" He echoed. The word came out a husky blend of need and urgency.

She nodded, swimming very close to him. "It feels like tongues on your body, not fingers. On my body too." She stood up. Water ran off her body, ran down the valley between her breasts to the tight curls just below the water line.

His hungry gaze followed the beads of water like a man parched and thirsty, greedy for moisture. Nicolae realized that she was right. If it were possible, his body swelled even more at the thought. He became conscious that she was reading his mind again, that she caught every erotic image, every sensual thought. "You know what I want to do, Destiny. What is it you want? Just tell me. Say it out loud. There is no one here but the two of us. Tell me what you desire most at this time." He wanted that much from her. He wanted the words even if he couldn't have the action.

She blushed, the color delicately staining her cheeks. "I want to touch you, to feel my hands on your skin. The need is as strong as any compulsion I've ever been under, but it isn't coming from you."

His fingertips traced the line of color in her face. "Need between lifemates is strong, Destiny, as it should be. We live long in this world. If what was between us were a weak thing, it would never last. I have given my body into your keeping. What you choose to do with it is always right. It is good. If you feel the desire to touch me, to learn to know me physically, it is not an intrusion or a violation. I would welcome it."

She turned her face away from him. "It can't be, Nicolae."

His hands framed her face, gently turned it back to him. "You are in control of this, Destiny. What we do is with
both
our consent. It is not for me, not to satisfy me alone. You have to have the courage to take what you want. Stay merged with me as you are touching me. You will always know what I am feeling, whether you are heightening my senses or making me uncomfortable."

There was a small silence while the water lapped at their bodies, the tiny bubbles bursting against their skin. Now that she had put the image in his mind, the feeling definitely reminded Nicolae of tongues stroking and caressing every inch of him, and he nearly groaned under the strain of erotic sensation. He wasn't altogether certain he was going to live through this experience with her.

Destiny might have nightmare images and memories struggling to break free, but she didn't lack courage. She wanted her time with Nicolae. She refused to allow a monster to rule her life, to rule Nicolae's life. She wanted to be able to enjoy fully what was her right. She wanted to have the complete freedom of exploring her lifemate's body. And she wanted his hands and mouth on her body. She wanted all of it, the complete fantasy.

She allowed her gaze to drift slowly over his body, to dwell on his defined muscles, his powerful chest, his narrow waist and hips, to drop lower and study the thick, heavy erection he had never once attempted to hide from her.

A sound escaped his throat. A small groaning plea for mercy that produced a leaping fire in her body. Destiny smiled. "So if I tell you to keep your hands on the rocks and off of me while I see if I can do this, you won't touch me?"

She was going to kill him for certain. Nicolae thought his body couldn't get any harder. Or any hotter. Yet it did just that at the sight of her teasing smile. At the images in her mind. He stepped back so he could rest his hands obligingly on the large boulders slightly behind him, leaving most of his body exposed and out of the water.

There was a heartbeat of time when she didn't move. While she summoned her courage. The only sounds were the lapping of the water at their bodies and the pounding of their hearts. She lifted her eyes to his face. Found him waiting. Saw his terrible hunger. He didn't move, didn't attempt to persuade her, allowing her complete freedom of choice. Destiny chose Nicolae.

She stepped close to him. So close her nipples brushed his chest as she lifted her arms to circle his neck. Her fingers plunged into his hair. "I love your hair." It was thick and long and it slipped between her palms, caressing her skin like fine silk. Her body slid up against the cradle of his hips. She was slick from the pool, water beading on her skin, as she rubbed against him like a purring cat. Her lips trailed over his eyelids. Followed the line of his cheekbones. Found his mouth.

It was far easier to express her love, her hope, when she was standing free, making all the moves and decisions. When he was keeping his promise not to touch her. Her body ached for his, and what she was doing only deepened her desire. There was joy in locking away demons. In not allowing them control. She reveled in giving Nicolae pleasure and in doing so, allowing herself that same pleasure.

Her tongue slid along the seam of his lips, teasing, testing, licking delicately. Each stroke of her tongue sent an answering fiery throb straight through the head of his shaft. Nicolae groaned, his fingers digging into the rocks as he opened his mouth to her. They melded together, fused, devouring one another, each ravenous for more.

While her tongue dueled with his, her hands slipped from his hair to find his shoulders and then moved down, her fingers stroking every inch as if committing his body to memory. Her mouth left his so she could nibble at his stubborn jaw. Her tongue swirled over his throat, found his pulse. The breath slammed out of his lungs, his gut clenched and his erection throbbed and swelled until he was afraid he would burst.

"Not yet," she whispered, as if to caution herself. Her tongue lapped at his pulse a second time, her breath warm with promise. "You taste so good, Nicolae."

His entire body shuddered. "Are you with me, Destiny?" His voice was husky, evidence of his terrible need. "Do you feel what you are doing to me? Stay merged with me. Stay with me." If she merged with him, felt what he felt, felt his hunger and his overwhelming love and admiration for her courage, she would not be able to stop, she would give herself completely to him.

Destiny hesitated only a moment before she did as he asked. Her mind merged completely with his. The intensity of his pleasure robbed her of breath, of the ability to do anything but shudder with need. The depth of his love and respect for her lodged in her soul, allowed her to see herself through his eyes. It was a view she had never expected, entirely different from her own. Courageous. Honest. Compassionate. Beautiful. Seductive. She held his heart in her hands. He was incredibly vulnerable to her. To her pain, to her fears, to her rejection.

Her mouth left his pulse, her breath swirling over his skin as her palms slid along his chest, her fingertips smoothing the lines of his muscles. She tasted his skin, lapped at the ridge of his collarbone, found his flat nipple, flicked it experimentally.

The air left his lungs in a rush. His body went rigid. Destiny, merged deep within his mind, could feel the fire coursing through his bloodstream, the whips of lightning burning from the inside out. That same fire was burning deep inside her, a conflagration she wanted to lose herself in completely.

Her hands wandered lower while her mouth feathered kisses over his chest and along his ribcage. She found his back, each defined muscle. The dip at the small of his back was intriguing. His buttocks were firm and hard as she kneaded and explored.

Nicolae shuddered with pleasure. Her fingers were driving him insane, as was the occasional brush of her body, skin to skin. He was all too aware of her mouth as it wandered over him, a slow torment he never wanted to end. He was grateful he'd had centuries to learn control; otherwise he would yank her to him to do his own exploring, to bury himself deep inside her. He also wanted to fist his hands in her hair and drag her head to him, thrust deep into her mouth to end his torment. Instead, he held himself very still, allowing her total control. Allowing her exploration.