Dark Future (12 page)

I sighed, heavy and long. I’d never had to tell a family about a loved one’s death. An intern wouldn’t be trusted with such a task, but this time there was no one else. Fear constricted in my heart and then dropped lower. I’m sure the duty was one doctors never relished, but then again, they had never been told their life could be sacrificed in return.

Sure, the threat to my life was nerve wracking, but deep in my heart I knew ConRad wouldn’t let anything happen to me. Who was stronger than the Commander in Chief of the compound? No crusty old Elders could get past him. There was something else though, something I was missing. I let my mind drift over the previous events when Zimm was brought to me. What had ConRad said? “Zimmion’s life doesn’t matter anyways.” If his life didn’t matter, then why bring him in to get medical attention in the first place? Why not let him die on the front lines? Or did his life only matter if the goddess survived?

I pulled the sheet over Sari’s face, but stopped mid-motion. No, that was ridiculous, simply barbaric.

I had to think. What was Zimm’s role before he was injured? What was his position in connection with the goddess?

Oh my God.
My stomach cramped. I doubled over and shot a glance at Zimm. His face was a complete mask of acceptance. He knew. Of course, he knew. Everyone did except me, the only idiot who didn’t put it together. Zimm was the defender of the goddess Sari. He’d sworn to protect her with his life.

My vision blurred. The only sound was the quiet whimpering of Quinn. Her tears weren’t for Sari; this place was too cold for weeping over a mere acquaintance. It was for Zimm that her heart broke.

I won’t believe it. I won’t believe it.
My mantra broke my frozen stance. I pushed the swinging doors open and ran down the hall. Tears streamed from my face.
I won’t believe it.
Even if you pushed aside all human decency, putting to death a healthy and trained solider was a complete waste of resources. There had to be a place for logic in this society, if not for compassion.

I halted in front of ConRad’s quarters. My breath came in short gasps—palms slick with sweat. I stood motionless, unable to bring myself to open the door. The simple act of turning the knob would start a domino effect of events spiraling out of my control.

I planted my hands on either side of the door jam and leaned my forehead on the metal door. What had I done? Did I just produce a healthy human sacrifice to satisfy the bloodlust of this society? A wave of nausea swept over me. I turned and threw up.

My retching did what I lacked the courage to do. The door was thrown open.

ConRad stood in full commander mode—stoic and deadpanned. We froze and stared at each other—me doubled over and gasping, him with hardened resolve. I saw his emotions flash in his eyes before I could even speak. It was all there; the decision was made.

I whipped my head back and forth, eyes pleading. He said nothing, just pushed me aside and headed toward the infirmary.

I stumbled after him, wiping away the tears and snot with the back of my arm.

“ConRad please.” I begged.
I begged.

His strides were long, his legs eating up the distance. ConRad slammed open the infirmary door and stood stock-still, assessing. ConRadessro" had seen the face of death a million times, so I couldn’t understand his sudden hesitation. I peered around his massive frame. Then I saw it myself. Hope along with blood drained from my body. I grasped the door frame as my knees weakened, and I slowly folded to the floor.

Zimm and Quinn were locked in a passionate, sorrowful embrace. Their mouths open and consuming, hands clutching and grasping as if trying to burn a brand that stayed even after death. Completely in their own world, they were oblivious to us, oblivious to the fact that they were committing the ultimate sin. A relationship of any kind with a goddess was against the rules. But kissing one went beyond comprehension.

Doing my ER rotation in some of the most debased places leaves you privy to the whole range of human emotions. A mother’s deep sorrow for the loss of her child. A father’s rage at a drunk driver. A gangbanger’s thirst for vengeance after a “duty kill.” But as I glanced toward ConRad, I’d never seen a rage so powerful, yet calm and terrifying in its ability. Shards of ice coursed through my veins, chilling my blood. I saw death in ConRad’s eyes.

I would witness a murder.

ConRad roared. The sound vibrated in my bones. He charged toward Zimm and Quinn. Cots and chairs flew out of his way. Zimm pushed Quinn behind him, barely having enough time to raise his arm in defense. ConRad descended on him like the Archangel armed with God’s vengeance. He grabbed Zimm by his shirt and threw him. Zimm crashed into the cabinet across the room, and fell to the floor with a thud. The cabinet door hung precariously. Then ConRad was on him like he’d never left. He picked him up and threw him against the corner wall.

Crazy burned in ConRad’s eyes. The violence and lack of control terrified me. When ConRad’s hands went around Zimm’s throat, I knew Zimm had drawn his last breath.

Thoughts of self-preservation flooded my mind. I saw myself turning and walking right out the door. I’d hide until midnight and crawl my way back home through the hole in the mountain. I would take my chances with Aura and the aliens.

God had forsaken this place and so could I. Instead, I pushed myself to my feet and walked straight into the turbulent storm.

Chapter Sixteen

M
y fingers trembled as I placed a restraining hand on ConRad’s forearm. “Please ConRad, stop.” My voice broke. I didn’t know if it was enough. If I was enough.

Time was measured in heartbeats. Then ConRad came back. The crazed anger retreated like a low tide leaving clean sand in its wake. ConRad was himself again—strong, emotionless, detached ConRad, and I’d never been so grateful.

His fingers pried loose from Zimm’s throat. Zimm buckled to the floor gasping and choking, his face beet red.

I stayed glued to ConRad’s side, infusing sanity through my touch. He blinked and took in his surroundings. If he was surprised that the infirmary was filled with soldiers who’d come in to investigate the commotion, he didn’t show it.

His gaze found Zimm’s. “Was it not enough that your own life is forfeit? Did you have to take Quinn along with you?” ConRad said.

The blood trickling from the corner of Zimm’s eyes showed an eerie orange in the copper lighting. He shook his head and tried to massage away the marks left behind by ConRad’s fingers. “Her goddess status will protect her.”

“Are you sure about that? Hard to keep an eye on her from the grave. Take him away,” ConRad said. “Throw him in the cell to await the penalty.”

Zimm was pulled up by his arms, hands tied behind his back. His head hung low as if resigned to his fate as two burly men dragged him out the door.

“Same with her.” He looked directly at Quinn. “She broke the goddess code. She will suffer the same.”

Panic sliced though me. “ConRad no, please, she’s just a child.” Though in that moment she seemed to have catapulted into adulthood.

His gaze whipped around and pinned me as effectively as his hand that found itself clamped around my arm.

“Enough,” he growled, and pulled me aside as they took Quinn away. Within minutes we were alone, and within a second of that he pushed me against the wall. He placed his mouth hard against my ear, his voice dangerously low. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’ve done. It didn’t escape my notice that Zimmion was quite active and vital, when just a few days ago he was on death’s door. I know you gave him the microbiotics, and I hold you partially responsible for this relationship. You saw what was going on and did nothing to stop the crime.”

A tremble went through me at his words. How many transgressions were to be piled upon my head?

ConRad slid his forehead to mine, his breathing harsh. “You have no idea what you’ve done. The Elders will be notified. There’ll be an investigation and people will be put to death. I just don’t know if you’ll be one of them.”

Fear chilled my blood. I knew he’d be angry, but I didn’t expect this.

“But . . . but you promised you would protect me.” I’d held on to his promise the whole time during the committing of my crime. Somehow I believed ConRad would make it all right.

“This . . . this is beyond me now. Even if I wanted to, Kris, I couldn’t. You knew the consequences and deliberately disobeyed me.” His hands wrapped around both of my arms and shook. Fury rolled off of him and crashed around me like waves. “You lied to me. What were you thinking? Even I can’t go against the Elders.”

I blinked hard, pushing back the tears I knew shined in my eyes.

A small crack broke through the ice-hardness of his face. “What do you expect me to do? To look the other way as Quinn and Zimm flaunt their relationship? If I break, if I become weak, then I lose the respect of my whole command. My duty is toward Earth. The human race couldn’t survive without us.”

He released me and I stumbled, less from force and more from weakened knees. He headed for the door, but then turned and settled his deadeye stare on me. “I can’t afford to be weak. From now on Kris, for both our sakes, call me Commander.”

The infirmary doors swung in his absence. A mocking wave goodbye to my broken life.

L
ike burning arrows, his words found their mark and pierced my heart. I’d been hurled through time and deposited on a foreign planet. I’d been chased by aliens, imprisoned, and held at gunpoint. I’d been treated like a spy and forced into mind-retrieval, but through it all I’d never been so scared and alone as I was now. In the back of my mind I’d known ConRad was always there, despite everything. ConRad had made me believe he’d be willing to die to protect me.

Self-delusion was a luxury I’d given up since my arrival. I knew his protection wasn’t because of some undying love he harbored for me. It was just his makeup. He took his claim on me seriously. He couldn’t live with himself if he did anything less. He was my protection in this hostile world, and I’d severed the tenuous ties. Now he was gone.

I was alone in a world I didn’t understand. The threat to my life had crystallized into hard reality. Sinking to the floor, I drew my knees into my chest. What had I done? My self-confidence had shattered. I didn’t trust myself to make the right decisions. In fact, I’d made things worse. Zimm and Quinn would be sentenced to death, and I’d be right behind them.

Why was I here? Why be sent to a place that was ruled by absolutism and then die by capital punishment? The rhythmic thudding of my head against the wall didn’t provide an answer. Was there something blatantly obvious I was missing? My head fell in defeat against my folded arms.

Images flashed like a bad movie trailer. Her presence right after my interrogation, a coveted key to the microbiotics for my wound, her plea for Zimm before his battered and war-torn body showed up in my infirmary. Then I knew. Clarity crashed in like a drunk ex-lover—unwanted, but hard to ignore. My head popped up and my gaze took in nothing of the vacant, gray room.
She
had the answers. Curse her lying mouth, but she had the answers all along.

A bitter taste of irony bit my tongue. I laughed. God’s grace worked even in this forsaken place. Those bars of steel that imprisoned Quinn were the same thing that kept her protected from me.

Because I was going to rip the answers from her bare throat.

M
y determination prevailed in my quest to access Quinn. The word was out that ConRad had withheld his protection from me. My status in the compound dropped like a supermodel who’d fallen off her diet. If previously I had too many takers to count, now I was a leper with a death sentence on my head. In the end I played Quinn’s goddess card and lied. I convinced the soldiers guarding her cell she needed medical attention, and if she died, it wouldn’t take much to load another round of bullets and use them both as target practice.

Of course, there was absolutely no hope in seeing Zimm.

My anger dissipated at my first sight of Quinn. She sat cross-legged on the floor, staring blankly into space. Her long blonde hair lacked shine, forming a dull curtain that obscured her eyes. Her skin had lost the rosiness of youth and lay flat, hollowing her cheeks. Quinn had never donned the traditional white robes, since she never declared herself a full goddess. But even her standard-issue military uniform was too large, swallowing up her petite frame. Uncertainty had me biting my lip. Maybe I’d mistaken her age after all. I’d originally thought she was around seventeen, but middle-age seemed to have crept up with a vengeance.

“Quinn?” I rushed the cell. “Are you all right?” I glanced around her prison. She wasn’t as bad off as compared to the rest of us. Her cell had the same hoad mey quality as ConRad’s room, but with rusty iron bars across the front.

“Quinn, really, are you okay?” A nervous tingling started in my belly at her silence. Maybe she was suffering from shock. She continued to sit and stare off into nothing. I bent lower, trying to catch her line of sight. Clamping my hand over my mouth, I stifled a scream. Her eyes were filled with black, churning like a restless sea. As long as I lived, I’d never get used to eyes that had the look of death.

Quinn blinked and her eyes snapped back to baby blue. “You’re The One.”

I knelt before her, desperate to understand. “The One what? I’m not special, Quinn.”

“But you are.” She spoke with such conviction, it was hard to disbelieve.

I’d come here for answers. I had to be willing to listen. “One what? I don’t even know what that means. Wouldn’t I have some sense of purpose?”

Quinn shrugged. My feelings to her were inconsequential. “I’m not sure what you’d feel, but it doesn’t change what you are.”

My forehead was flush against the bars, my hands wrapped around the rusting metal. “Which is what, Quinn? Give me some damn answers so I can figure this out and preferably not get all of us killed in the process.”

Quinn sighed and shrugged again in that irritating and unassuming manner everyone here used. Was nothing here worth getting excited about? I gritted my teeth as she turned her body to face the wall, dismissing me with the dignity of royalty.

This was getting me nowhere. If anything, I’d learn patience while I was here. “Quinn, I’m sorry. Just please explain. Can you please start from the beginning? Pretend I’m an idiot and you have to lay out the whole thing to a simpleton. ”

Quinn tilted her head and flashed me a half smile. “Fine, that won’t be hard at all.”

Sarcasm seemed to be taking root.

“Good,” I said. If my tone was a bit drier than before, she didn’t comment.

“You have to promise to just listen. There’s not enough time for pessimism and distrustful arguments. You’re going to have to take a lot of this on faith.”