Barbara swallowed quickly. "I think she's got a lovely voice."
The woman studied her with amusement. "Oh, do you? It's always so interesting to get the reactions of the public."
"As I was in the show you're referring to I'm hardly a member of the public,"
"Really?" Genuine surprise flitted across Gina's face. "Were you in the chorus?"
"No. I played Griselda."
The sulky mouth tightened. "How strange that you
should give it up to become a companion. Do you find it more remunerative?"
"Hardly. But money Isn't everything, Mrs. Gilder-Stein, and I wanted a change."
She had no intention of telling the woman her real
reason, and resumed her meal determinedly. After throwing her a level look Gina confined her remarks to Dominic, and for a time the conversation centred around her late husband before returning to herself and her plans for the future.
"You should come back to London, Dominic—leave Crags' Height and take a house in town."
"That's something I've been considering."
Barbara kept her eyes on her plate, acutely aware of what was being said.
"Good!" Gina purred. "We could have such fun together. I can't imagine how you've stuck it here all this time. Why didn't you sell the house ages ago?"
"I can't. It's entailed "
"Oh yes, of course. Then I suppose it'll eventually go to Mark?"
"If he outlives me."
"What a morbid conversation this is becoming!"
Gina laughed. "But you always were inclined to be
introspective, darling."
He offered her a cigarette. "That was in the past, Gina my love. Now I only want to think about the future."
The scarlet-tipped fingers closed for an instant on his
hand as she accepted the cigarette and bent towards him for a light. "I shall have to be thinking of the future myself, Dominic. It'll be nice to feel we shall both be doing it at the same time."
Barbara longed for the meal to end, for her presence
did not seem to deter Gina from discussing the most personal matters, and either Rockwood did not care
or was purposely allowing his visitor all the license she
desired. But at last she was free to leave the room and
stood up quickly and excused herself, aware that neither the man nor the woman was sorry to be left alone.
Although she made up her mind to keep out of Gina's way it was impossible to avoid her all the time, for there were long periods when Aunt Ellie slept, and Barbara grew tired of sitting in her bedroom. She got into the habit of going; for long walks, sometimes as far as the shore, trudging along the sandy beach
when the tide was out. But her solitude was full of
unhappiness and the shadows around her eyes deepened, making her look older and more mature.
Gradually Rockwood began to spend less time on the estate and devoted many hours to his visitor. Barbara would often sec them leaving the house in the morning, the man hatless and in tweeds, Gina in suits
of exquisite cut and colouring, her blonde hair covered
with a vivid scarf. Sometimes they did not return all
day and at night would sit together in the drawing-room
or study. Barbara felt dowdy in comparison with the lovely actress, her plain dresses ungainly and serviceable where before they had been only neat and correct,
her brown curls unruly compared with the sleek blonde
coiffure.
Eventually Aunt Ellie was allowed to sit up for a couple of hours a day and Rockwood would spend a quarter of an hour with her each morning. Apart from that Barbara never saw him except in Gina's company,
and was just beginning to feel that her emotions were numbed—almost to hope that they might never thaw—
when going downstairs one evening to collect a book she had left in the drawing-room, she opened the door to find him and Gina standing close together by the fire, and as if unaware of her approach he reached out and pulled the woman towards him, bending his head until his lips found her red, eager mouth. Barbara felt a sharp pain almost as if her heart had stopped beating, and she fled upstairs again forgetful of the book she had gone down to fetch. She knew then that if she had ever believed her love for Dominic was fading, the sight of another woman in his arms gave the lie to her hope, for the knowledge that someone else could arouse his desire filled her with a deep sense of loss and emptiness.
The following day she could hardly bear to face him, and when she saw him at the luncheon table was more overwhelmingly aware of him than ever. How physical an unfulfilled love could be, she thought
bitterly—how full of desire one's emotion until passion
was satiated! More than ever she longed for Aunt
Ellie to get better so that she could leave Crags' Height,
with a clear conscience.
Barbara became so intent on avoiding Rockwood and Gina that she only went out for her walks very early in the morning, and was returning through the garden on one occasion when Gina's voice hailed her.
She turned in surprise for it was barely nine o'clock and as a rule Gina breakfasted in bed. "Good morning, Mrs. Gilderstein. You're down very early."
"I couldn't sleep, and the garden looked so inviting that I got up." The slender figure sauntered towards her. "I've been trying to attract your attention for ages. Can I go for a walk with you?"
"I'm just on my way back."
"Oh, do just stroll round the garden with me. I hate walking alone and Dominic's not up yet."
"All right." Unwillingly Barbara fell into step beside her, shrewd enough to realize that Gina was not the sort of person to plead for a woman's company without good reason.
They strolled up the path towards the rose garden
and after they had been walking for a few minutes Gina
looked at her obliquely. "Now I come to think of it, I remember you as Griselda. You had quite a nice part and a lovely little voice, my dear.''
"Thank you."
"I've been trying to understand why on earth you want to shut yourself away up here."
The reason for the compliment was now obvious and Barbara decided to satisfy the woman's curiosity. "I was ill and my specialist told me not to sing for a year."
"I see. And is the year up?"
"Not quite."
"What do you intend to do when it is?"
"I shall go back to singing."
"Ah." It was a purring sound. "How wise of you!
I always think a woman should have a career. I daresay
you'll miss Crags' Height."
"It's very lovely here." They walked on. Then: "Shall we go back to the house now?"
Gina put a hand on her arm. "Not vet, my dear— let's walk for a little while longer." She turned do
another path and Barbara reluctantly followed. "I was quite surprised when I saw you that night at the Sporting Club, it was so odd to see Dominic with another woman."
"Really? Why?"
"Because he swore never to bother with anyone else after me. He was so in love with me, you know."
"If I hadn't known before, you've gone out of your
way to make me aware of it, Mrs. Gilderstein," Barbara
said drily.
"Don't be so formal, my dear." The woman's expression was bland. "Call me Gina and I'll call you Barbara. I'm sorry if you think I'm trying to make it obvious that Dominic cares for me. I can assure you my only motive was kindness."
"Kindness?"
"But of course. Anyone at the Club that night could see you were head over heels in love with him."
Barbara flushed. "I'm afraid you have a fertile
imagination, Mrs. Gilderstein. I am here as Miss Ber-
resford's companion and nothing else."
"Oh, I know that. But even so it can't stop you becoming"—she paused—"becoming fond of a man. You can tell me to mind my own business, my dear, but believe me I'm telling you for your own good. You're too nice a girl to get hurt and if you allow
yourself to love someone who doesn't want you, you're
asking for trouble."
"It's nice of you to bother, Mrs. Gilderstein, but your warning is quite unnecessary. I'm perfectly well able to look after myself. As for being in love with Mr. Rockwood—well, all I can say is that for a woman of the world you arc rather naive." Purposely Barbara kept her tone light, her expression faintly amused. Not
for the world would she give this woman the satisfaction
of knowing how much she had humiliated her.
"Naive?" Gina sounded surprised. "I've been called
many things, my dear, but naive has never been one of them! What makes you say so?"
Would the woman never leave well alone? Barbara
wondered desperately. Then: "I only meant it was naive to assume I was—I was in love with Mr. Rockwood.
Because he took me out and I enjoyed being with him
doesn't signify love. You surely must know that a— that a man likes to be flattered, likes to think the girl of the moment loves him." She stopped, unable to
bring herself to utter any more lies, filled with revulsion
that she had already told so many.
Gina faced her squarely, unable to hide her amusement. "Well, really, Barbara! I'd never have thought it of you. But I must say it's by far the best thing. As long as you realize Dominic was only amusing himself, it's all right. I just didn't want to think you were hurt because he'd asked me here," She stopped and sniffed at a clump of aubrietia. "What a beautiful mauve it is—I bad a dress this shade once." She straightened up. "Where was I? Oh yes—Dominic. Well, as I was saying, although we didn't see one another for some time we both never forgot the past. I always thought of him and I'm sure he always spoke about me."
"He certainly did." Barbara longed to shatter the smug complacency, but in the light of their resumed relationship it seemed pointless to tell Gina what Rock-wood had said about her.
"I may as well tell you," the woman went on, "that
Dominic and I parted rather abruptly, so it meant a great deal to me when he invited me to come and stay here after my husband's death. To tell you the truth I don't quite know what to make of it. Do you think he wants us to go on where we left off?"
"Surely you're far too shrewd to want my
opinion,
Mrs. Gilderstcin? Or are you asking me because there's
something you want to know?"
Gina studied one scarlet finger-nail, then looked up, her violet eyes guileless. "Dominic's the only man I've ever really loved."
"You had a curious way of showing it."
"You think that because you're young, my dear. I wonder whether you can understand what it's like to feel you have the ability to succeed and yet to know that success is always a little out of your reach. That' how I felt when I met Dominic, and why I had no intention of cloistering myself up here with him."
"I can hardly believe he'd have expected you to live here all the time. Wouldn't he have stayed in London with you?"
"Only on his own terms, and I had no intention of living in London without being able to continue my career."
"Or of living up here without it?"
"Of course not. You as an artist can surely understand that So I married Charles. But I could never get Dominic out of my mind, although I tried for five years. Now I'm in a position to do what I please, and Dominic pleases me. All I want to know now is whether he's ever said anything to you about asking me here—whether you've any reason to believe he'd like to marry mc."
Hearing Gina talk so casually about marriage with Dominic brought the reality of her own loss home to
Barbara even more acutely. "Don't you think that's something you should ask Mr. Rockwood yourself?" she said sharply.
"Come now, you know as well as I do he's not the sort of man one can question."
"Neither am I that sort of woman, Mrs. Gilderstein.
Now if you'll excuse me I must get back to the house."
Trembling with indignation, Barbara turned on her heel and walked quickly across the lawn, so angry at Gina's attempt to pump her that she did not see where she was going and almost ran into Dominic's arms.
"Still as hasty as ever, I see." He steadied her.
"You should find something new to taunt mc with, Mr. Rockwood. That joke's wearing a little thin."
"I didn't mean it as a joke, Barbara," he said quietly.
"Then kindly refrain from addressing me while I have to remain in your house." And she walked on unsteadily towards the front door.
Whether it was because Gina was annoyed at her
or whether she wanted to make her look ridiculous in
Dominic's eyes Barbara did not know, but that evening as she rose from the dinner table the woman called her back.
"Oh don't go yet, my dear. Surely you can spare a few minutes to have some coffee in the drawing-room." "I usually have it upstairs with Aunt Elbe, Mrs. Gilderstein."
"I know, but it would be a nice change for you to have it with us. Dominic, do tell Blodwyn to take in another cup."
Rockwood inclined his head. "As you wish." They moved into the drawing-room and Gina settled herself on the settee by the fire. "Now come along and sit next to me," she said graciously. "Dominic, bring the coffee table over here and I'll pour."