Dark Kiss (Harlequin Teen) (29 page)

“I didn’t know this would happen.” A sob rose in my chest.

“I believe you. But it doesn’t change anything. You got a taste. Would you have taken it all if we hadn’t stopped you?”

My breath caught. I’d felt it—tasted it. Bishop’s soul. I’d sensed it leaving him and entering me. And I’d wanted more.

Roth eyed Bishop as if he were damaged goods that should be taken directly to the dump. “He’d probably like that. Suck the whole soul out, and maybe he could flutter back to Heaven without that ball and chain around his ankle.”

“Or, more likely, it would destroy him completely and he’d be taking a nosedive right into the Hollow,” Connor said without even an ounce of humor. “Got a front row seat for that earlier. Not fun.”

“Why would you think something like that?” I asked, alarmed at the very thought of it.

He looked at me. “We’re not human. Well, not anymore. When we’re given the chance to be an angel or a demon, we’re changed on a base level.” He flinched. “It hurts, trust me on that. But once we’re finished with the conversion, we function without a soul. Having one—”

“Would screw us up,” Kraven finished. “But it’s a lose-lose. Without a soul, a fallen angel or an exiled demon would perish in the human world. With it, you risk getting your eggs scrambled.”

“Maybe,” Connor said with a shrug, “maybe not. When it comes to Bishop, anyway. What happened to him was a mistake, not a punishment. Maybe he’d be okay without it.”

Maybe. That word didn’t sound like something I could put even an ounce of my trust in.

Bishop had sunk back down to the ground. But he watched me, his expression raw, his eyes filled with something else—something I couldn’t name. Something aching and bottomless and filled with need. All directed at me. It scared me, because I felt like I was looking back at him exactly the same way.

He should hate me right now. But he didn’t.

Just the opposite.

I realized I was moving toward him again when Kraven yanked me back, his grip painfully tight on my wrist.

“Don’t go near him,” he growled at me.

Zach crouched next to Bishop, a hand on his shoulder as he’d begun to rise. It was to hold him back from meeting me halfway. He was the moth, I was the flame. Right now I knew I could burn him very badly. Despite a nearly overwhelming urge to struggle against Kraven’s grip on me, I stayed back.

“I feel it now,” Bishop said, pressing his hand against his chest. “My soul. It’s heavy inside me.”

“Lighter than it was, though,” Kraven added, giving me an unfriendly sneer. And here I thought we’d almost become pals. Guess not. “After all, you were just dinner for your new girlfriend.”

I hated everything about this. And there was absolutely nothing I could do to make it better.

Kraven yanked on my wrist.

I shot him an angry look. “What?”

“I’m taking you home.”

“I can get there by myself.”

“Nah. Consider me your chaperone to make sure you don’t sneak back here and try to stick your tongue down his throat again.” He looked over his shoulder. “Roth, go with Connor on patrol. Zach, you take care of my darling soulful brother. Make sure he doesn’t follow after us. Looks like he wants to.”

“Wait a minute,” Connor said. “Bishop’s your
brother?
”

As Kraven dragged me away, I craned my head over my shoulder to look back at Bishop, anguished at the thought of leaving him like this. His blue eyes burned into mine. Confusion, madness, anger—and desire—all mingled together there in his gaze.

Mix in an extra helping of guilt, and that was exactly how I felt, too.

I wanted to cry, but my tears had dried up. Now my eyes just stung. I wanted to close them and try to shut out every memory of what just happened.

When I first found him, sitting on the sidewalk, lost and confused and unable to find the searchlights, I’d helped him then.

I’d helped destroy him tonight. Less than a week to go from one extreme to the other.

“So you finally got a taste of angel cake,” Kraven said after a few minutes of walking. Each step away from Bishop felt heavy and forced. “Was it worth it?”

“I didn’t mean to do that.”

He finally loosened his grip on me and put some space between us. We’d exited the run-down area of town and entered a neighborhood with tall trees, manicured lawns and fashionable condos. Like night and day in the space of a couple of blocks.

“Right. You’re just an innocent teenager looking for love in all the wrong places.”

Kraven had a truly amazing talent for pissing me off. “You knew about this and you didn’t say anything before. You could have warned him.”

“It was just a hunch. He got the fuzzy end of the lollipop by being the one to enter the city without being shielded. The crazy easily could have come from that. What am I, psychic? That’s your job, sweetness.”

“Will he be all right?”

“From your first kiss? Yeah. He’ll recover. Pretty sure it would have taken a lot longer for you to suck the whole thing out. As for the future…I don’t know. He’s a survivor. Kind of like a cockroach. Just when you think he’s finally dead, he’ll pop right back up again and start flapping his wings.”

All I could do was concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. My arms were crossed tightly over my chest and I kept my eyes on the sidewalk stretching in front of me. My throat felt so thick it was nearly impossible to swallow. “So what about me?”

“Good question. What about you?”

“Are you really walking me home? Or are you walking me to my doom?”

He eyed me. “Your doom? Sweetness, you watch way too many movies.”

I let out a shuddery breath. “So what do I do now? What you said before? Stay home, close the blinds and hide from the world?”

“Nah. I’m sure you’d end up getting in trouble even there.” He grinned darkly at me. “Go to school like a good girl and keep an eye on that little friend of yours. Also, I’d suggest you stay away from Bishop until this is all over.”

That actually made me laugh sharply.

He frowned. “What’s so funny?”

“You sound like you might just give a crap about what happens to your brother. And here I thought you two hated each other way more than just angel/demon animosity.”

“I feel nothing for him.” His jaw tensed. “Whatever you might think about us is wrong. We had some biology in common once upon a time. That was a long time ago. There’s nothing between us except some bad memories.”

“So you don’t hate him?”

“Hate can be a useful emotion.”

That wasn’t really an answer, not that I was expecting one. I concentrated on him for a moment, surprised that his walls were down. “You do hate him. But not nearly as much as you hate yourself, right?”

I was sorry I said it as soon as the words left my mouth. Due to the lack of a snappy comeback, I thought I’d struck a nerve.

“You shouldn’t feel that way,” I said. “I mean, I don’t know what happened between the two of you when you were both human, but—”

“Just shut up, gray girl. Is that even remotely possible for you?”

I flinched. I took it back: he didn’t just hate himself down deep. He’d made plenty of room in there for me, too.

Twenty long minutes later, when we reached the end of my driveway, I finally chanced a look at him, but he’d already turned and started walking away.

I quickly let myself in the house. The only indication that my mother had been there earlier was the empty wineglass in the sink. As I stood in the dark kitchen, feeling utterly and completely alone in the universe, I noticed something important.

For the first time in nearly a week, I wasn’t hungry at all.

* * *

When my mother got home at a little after ten o’clock, she guessed that my bleak mood was due to the fact I’d finally learned I was adopted. She was so guilty about keeping it from me, it was hard for her to look me in the eye.

I was upset about that, but not as much as she might think. It had been a shock, but it had also helped many things start to make some sort of sense. I wondered what she might think if she found out who my biological parents were.

She wouldn’t believe it. And neither would I, if our positions were reversed. She might be my adoptive mother, but I’d always been a realist and a skeptic just like her.

I wish I could say I had a great plan to make everything turn out okay. I didn’t. And after another restless night when I doubted if I got more than a half hour’s sleep, I trudged to school once again. Happy Friday.

My thoughts weren’t clogged only with my own woes. No, I couldn’t stop thinking about Bishop.

It was torture thinking about him, thinking about what happened. And the look on his face when he learned he was really fallen. He immediately assumed that meant he couldn’t go back to Heaven—even if it was a mistake on their part. But this wasn’t his fault. He’d given up so much to lead this mission. There had to be a way.

The homeless man was fallen, too. That meant he also had a soul. My heart clenched thinking that could be Bishop’s future—full-time madness, wandering the streets alone. I drew in a ragged breath and tried not to break down in the school hallways.

I didn’t want Bishop to be hurt. I wanted him to get better, not worse.

He was so brave. He’d volunteered to lead a mission to help save the city from destruction—to help maintain the balance of the entire freaking universe. And now he might have to stay here forever. And go crazier by the day.

It was so desperately unfair.

I wanted to help him, to touch him and make the madness all go away, but Kraven didn’t want me anywhere near him again. But Bishop needed me—despite what had happened between us.

I needed to find him again. I needed to be close to him, to hold him…to kiss him…

Damn it, Samantha, don’t think about that.
I rubbed my forehead so hard it felt raw.

But that kiss—it wasn’t just a kiss. It was a free sample of crack cocaine given to an addict. I desperately needed more. I needed him. I wanted him. Now. Tomorrow. Forever.

But I couldn’t have him. And that thought felt like a sharp golden dagger slowly slicing deep into my chest.

My running shoes squeaked on the linoleum as I made my dazed way through the busy halls toward my locker. My leather bag felt heavy on my shoulder today, even though I hadn’t taken any books home this week. Hadn’t done any homework at all—it was the last thing on my mind.

I twirled the lock on my locker to open it up and stared inside. I couldn’t do this. Why was I even here today?

To keep an eye on Carly.

I peeked past the edge of my locker to see her headed straight for me. For a moment, I thought she might look guilty, but, no, she didn’t. In fact, she looked extremely happy.

The Carly I knew might like to stick her hands into beehives, but she definitely felt the sting. This wasn’t her. Not really.

“Hey.” She greeted me with a big smile. “How’s it going?”

Hazardous question. I was afraid to answer it with the truth. Everybody had been lying to me, so I suppose it was only fair for me to join in.

I pushed a smile onto my face. “Pretty good. You?”

“Great.”