Dark Matter (41 page)

When they did finally tell me the plan,
I stood there stunned into silence. Not only did they expect me to
be immediately bound to a lord, they wanted me to freely agree to
tie myself to five. I’d thrown a fit a two year old would be proud
of, but they assured me it wasn’t going to be a normal bonding. In
essence, the lords would be my protectors until I could make a real
decision. One advantage was that I would have fae regenerative
capabilities. The only catch was I would still technically be
mortal.

I already knew that there were
different levels of bonding and that it didn’t have to be sexual to
take, but this seemed ridiculous even to me. Five men in my head at
the same time could only lead to problems.

I’d already spent longer in here
deciding than I was supposed to. I kept thinking that at any moment
one of the lords was going to burst into the room to tell me that
he had refused to do it.

There was no way they were going to
agree to this. Was there?

Even though I didn’t want to admit it,
bonding with all of them would give me an impervious barrier where
Ainessa was concerned. There was no way she could usurp five men at
once. But what about the rest of my life in Faeresia? No matter how
I pictured this ending, it wasn’t good.

I gazed at the divided room that
stretched out in front of me, trying to ignore how much it
reflected how I felt inside. Despite what I had been told today, I
knew the houses were at odds. Was this a way to unite these people
for good? If they all possessed part of my power then none could
cry foul when Ainessa was taken care of. I still didn’t know how we
were going to manage to stop her, either.

Something I hadn’t considered before
settled into focus. If I agreed to do this, I wouldn’t have to
carry this weight alone. The lords could help me.

I’d always thought being strong meant
that I had to figure things out on my own, but was that really
true? Could it be possible that it takes a stronger person to admit
they need help than one who struggles alone?

I supposed there was only one real way
to find out.

I picked myself up off the dais steps
and made my way to the terrace on the top floor of the castle. A
light breeze brought scents of heavenly spices with it. I stopped,
taking a moment to steady myself. Only six people greeted me when I
walked through the archway.

Five, I had fully expected, but the
sixth made me recoil. They couldn’t be serious. Taylor was bound to
Jessica. Hadn’t someone already told me they were happy
together?

Tabitha shook her head warily. “Would
it have been easier if a stranger stood here before you?” she
asked.

But Taveon was a stranger to me. I had
only dealt with him momentarily back at school. He bowed low before
me, mimicking the first time I met him. Somehow the gesture didn’t
seem as meaningful as it probably should have. He was as distant as
he had always been.

I shook my head firmly. “I will not be
bound to someone else’s bondmate.”

Taveon laughed. “Jessica was given to
another.”

“
But…” I eyed him up and
down, trying to ignore his dashing good looks. His deep brown eyes
met mine and stayed there. I couldn’t read him at all.

He was coldhearted. That was all there
was to it. How could he do such a thing? He’d been all over Jessica
when he brought her here. I had just assumed he had been bound to
her. I wasn’t sure I was ready to be connected to him in any
manner. Thinking about Jett was bad enough, but at least I
understood where he was coming from now.

“
Have you chosen one of them
then,” asked Tabitha hopefully.

I glanced at each lord, my heart racing
in my chest. My hands felt cold and clammy. With a tiny smile, I
hid them in the folds of my skirt.

For a moment I considered just getting
it over with. Heath was a good option. I was still stunned that he
might actually love me. Should I take a chance with him? But what
if I was wrong? It wasn’t as if I could just divorce
him.

The feelings I’d had for him on the
island were easy to recall. My longing notwithstanding, if I was
sure of one thing, I couldn’t allow myself to trust my emotions. I
had similar recollections with Luke and Zach if I was being
fair.

Until my family was safe and the Order
dealt with, I had to keep my options open even though it pained me
to do it.

“
You have all really agreed
to do this?” I asked looking for some sign of dissention among
them. Each man was as serious as a person could get, wearing stony
expressions that left no question to their answer. I swallowed hard
and squared my shoulders. “Well, then, boys…which of you wants to
go first?”