Dark Rider (25 page)

“
B
radford says we should be arriving in England within a few days,” Lani said.

“So soon?” Startled, Cassie turned away from the rail. “I thought the journey would be much longer.”

“It’s been a very long voyage.” Lani raised her brows. “Though it’s understandable the time would get away from you. You’ve been very … distracted.”

Lani’s words were without emphasis, but Cassie felt heat rush to her cheeks. “It’s not—I haven’t—It’s not true.”

What was she thinking? she thought, shocked. He had always been the enemy, and that she had considered him as anything else only showed how dangerous a foe he was.

Lani smiled gently. “I wouldn’t mention it, but he’s a powerful man, and you have a great zest for living. Could he be leading you into dangerous waters?”

“He’s not leading me anywhere.”

Was that entirely true? Lately, when she was with
him, she had begun to forget everything but what he wanted her to remember. Touch, scent, the beautiful rhythms of pleasure. A memory rushed back to her of that recent night when she had shied away from thinking of duty, pushed it into the background.

Betrayal.

Sickness churned through her. She didn’t want it to be true. She wouldn’t let it be true.

“Cassie?” Lani’s soft voice that would never reprove her.

But she blamed herself. She had forgotten her purpose and remembered only the pleasure. She had thought herself strong enough to use Jared but had been caught in the web of seduction he wove.

But that didn’t mean she had to remain in the web.

“I have to go.” Her voice sounded shaky and distracted even to herself. She turned away from the rail and moved quickly down the deck. She had to escape and regain her composure before she faced Lani again. “I can’t stay.…”

The sunlight was on her face, brilliant, hiding nothing. Not like the secret darkness of the cabin where he waited every night. A shudder went through her as she realized that, guilt or no, she still wanted to go to him. How many nights would it have taken for him to make her forget her purpose entirely? No, she couldn’t believe it would ever have reached that point.

It hadn’t happened. It wasn’t too late. She was strong enough to put this madness behind her. She would just have to recognize that her strength was not absolute and act accordingly.

She was assailed by the image of Jared bending over her, wicked, sensuous, smiling as he moved slowly, rhythmically. Her breasts were swelling, her muscles tensing, readying even at the mere thought.

He would not want to let her go. She would have to be blind not to realize that Jared, too, was caught in the sensual web he’d woven around her.

Dear God, it was going to be difficult.

A troubled frown wrinkled Lani’s brow as she watched Cassie walk away. She had known it would take only a word to bring Cassie back to the path they both must walk. She had done what was necessary, but she took no pleasure from it.

“What did you say to her?” She turned to see Bradford strolling toward her. “She seemed upset. I can’t believe you were actually quarreling.”

“Cassie and I never quarrel.”

“Because she believes your wisdom is second only to that of the angels. She saves her strength to battle with the rest of the world.” His speculative gaze returned to Cassie’s retreating figure. “Jared?”

She pretended to misunderstand him. “As far as I know, she didn’t quarrel with Jared, either.”

“But she will.” He turned to look at her. “Won’t she?”

She gazed at him without expression.

“Because you’ve decided it’s time to wake her up and break the spell.”

“Spell?”

“Jared has the facility for making most women’s heads whirl if he puts his mind to it. He’s almost as good with women as he is with horses.” He smiled. “And I’d wager he’s been exerting himself to the utmost. He appears to be pretty dizzy himself this time.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I may be a drunkard but I’m not blind. They’ve
both been like sleepwalkers since you tossed him our enchanting Cassandra.”

She stiffened. “You think I sent Cassie to him to use?”

“Didn’t you?”

“No.” She added with biting anger, “And you’re wrong. You must also be blind if you think I’d force Cassie to do my will.”

“I’m relieved.” He leaned against the railing. “I didn’t want to believe you’d go that far to save Deville.” He made a rueful face. “Though I’d probably accept it.”

“My actions are not yours to accept or refute. Your opinion is nothing to me.”

“Oh, I think it is. It annoys you, but you do find me both charming and witty.”

“Indeed? And modest, too, no doubt.”

He shook his head, ignoring the irony. “You’re too good a judge of character to make that mistake, but you’re definitely drawn to me.”

“I’m not drawn to you. I find you amusing on occasion, but that is all.” She added, “It must be drink that’s befuddling your senses.”

He flinched. “Cruel.”

“Truth.”

“Cruel,” he repeated. “And you’re never cruel to anyone else. Don’t you find that curious?”

She hadn’t thought about it, she realized. The response had been pure instinct. “It annoys me.”

“Why? I’d judge you to be the most tolerant of mortals. You even managed to live with that Kidman harridan.”

“It just does.” She added with sarcasm, “And Clara cannot help the poison in her soul, but you ingest poison into your body every day.”

“But that poison serves to make me a less potent foe. Surely that should earn your approval.” He raised his brows. “I fear your reasoning is grievously at fault. No, my reading of the situation is the right one. You’re definitely drawn to me.”

She gave an inelegant snort.

“You see? I’d be willing to wager that you’d never make that crude sound in the presence of your Deville. His ideal mate is a cultured gentlewoman, and he molded you in the way he wanted you to go.”

“I molded myself.”

“To fit his vision.”

“The vision of all foreigners. You all want the same thing.”

“And what is that?”

“A gracious lady at the dinner table and a pagan in bed.”

“I admit it’s the perfect combination. But if you gave Deville his ideal, why didn’t he marry you?”

“I never asked it.”

“It’s usually the gentleman who asks.”

“I don’t want to discuss this any longer.”

“Because it hurts?”

It did hurt. She had thought she had come to accept the blow to her pride, but it was suddenly there before her. “I don’t need marriage. It’s you foreigners who require vows.”

“Yes, we do.” He paused and then said with great formality, “Will you do me the honor of marrying me, Lani?”

She stared at him in shock. He could not have said what she thought she’d heard.

“I’m considered a good match. I’m not as rich as Jared, but I can keep you in fine style. I’m not completely beyond the pale as far as society is concerned.”

“What are you saying?” she whispered.

“Oh, one more thing.” He looked directly into her eyes and his low voice rang with sincerity. “I will love and honor you all the days of your life.”

She felt as if she had been struck by lightning. Stunned … and unutterably touched. She did not want to feel this moved. She pulled her gaze away and looked out at the sea. “Or until you overhear one of your friends talking about the terrible mistake you made wedding a Polynesian savage. Much better just to make a whore of her.”

“No, that would not end my affection for you.” His voice was very gentle. “Just the life of the man who said those words.”

“I can imagine your fighting over a case of French brandy, never a woman.”

“Another blow. You see, you are trying to be cruel to me. I take that as definitely encouraging.”

She whirled on him. “Then you’re a fool. I have no affection for you. I love Charles Deville.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s kind and gentle and—”

“I’m kind. I can be gentle.” He paused. “And I need you as much as he does. More. That should tip the scales in my favor.”

“That’s nonsense.”

He shook his head. “I believe you’re a woman who was born to give. You require someone to lavish care upon.” He self-mockingly tapped his chest. “Look to me, fair damsel. I’m a bottomless well of need.”

She was shaken. She had not dreamed he had studied her enough to perceive that about her character. “I’m sure you have a bottomless thirst, but that can be accommodated by a—”

“I’ll quit drinking.”

“What?”

“It’s getting in the way and giving you an excuse to push me aside.” He waved a hand. “It’s gone.”

She gazed at him skeptically.

“I control my habits, they don’t control me. It’s gone,” he repeated. “Though I may be making a mistake. My drinking made you feel safe and appealed to your nurturing qualities.”

“Safe?”

“You need not take a drunkard seriously,” he said simply. “But now you’ll be forced to consider my suit.”

“I won’t consider it. I love Charles.”

“You’ve just grown accustomed to the idea of loving him.” He frowned. “No, perhaps you do love him. You have a warm heart, and it’s big enough to hold more than one love. I may have problems with that. But he’s not worthy of you. I feel no guilt in taking you away from him.”

“Particularly since you believe he killed your brother,” she said scornfully.

“I detested my brother. John was a bully and a fool. He made my life miserable from the moment I was born until I escaped from Morland into the pleasant depravities of London. The only person he treated with any degree of affection was Jared. He adored him.” He wrinkled his nose. “Pity. If he’d been as cruel to his son as he was to the rest of the world, Jared wouldn’t be so obsessed with the thought of revenge.”

“Evidently your brother cared enough to try to rescue his cousin from the guillotine.”

“It was an adventure. I never said he wasn’t a brave bastard.”

“So you’re willing to spare Charles because you hated your brother.”

He nodded. “I’ve no driving lust for vengeance, and I do have a driving passion for you. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s … extraordinary.”

“Because I’m Polynesian.”

“Because you’re the most beautiful, strong, clever woman I’ve ever met.” He reached out as if to touch her and then stopped. “You were meant for me, Lani. You were meant to live in my love and under my protection. You were meant to banish all the emptiness in my life. Jared doesn’t believe in destiny, but I do. I have to believe in it. It’s my only hope.”

His words were halting, and so intense, they were almost painful to hear. She wanted to comfort him, hold him, stroke those tousled gray-flecked curls. She could not do it. She swallowed. “You have no hope.” She smiled with an effort. “And you will soon forget this passion you have for me when you see all those fair-skinned Englishwomen again.”

“Dammit, I will not forget—” He stopped and drew a deep breath. “You require proof. I can understand after the way Deville treated you.”

“Charles treated me very well.”

“So you’ve convinced yourself.” His smile lit his rough features with warmth and sweetness. “But not the way I’ll treat you. I’ve never had a treasure of my own. I’ll know how to burnish it and keep it safe.”

She felt again that rush of tenderness and pushed it firmly away. “I’m not a copper pot hanging in the kitchen,” she said tartly. “I need no burnishing. Particularly not from you.”

“Most particularly from me.” His gaze raked her face. “But I think I’d better go away and leave the
burnishing for later. I’ve given you enough to think about.”

He turned and strolled away.

More than enough, she thought dazedly. Of course, she would not consider anything he said. She loved Charles, and Bradford was as unsteady as a weather vane. The next time she saw him, he would probably be deep in his cups and have forgotten his declaration.

Yet she had glimpsed a surprising depth and strength in Bradford today. He had shown her a side to his character she had never seen before.

And had not wanted to see.

The realization came with a sudden impact too strong to be denied. Bradford was right: she had used his inebriation as a reason to distance herself. From the first moment of their meeting she had known there was strength and intelligence beneath that careless manner. It had angered her, and then it had made her—

Cautious. She substituted that word for the one that came immediately to mind. Only cautious.

And she would remain cautious. She had told Cassie they must return to the real world, and she must not be distracted from her purpose.

She had an uneasy premonition that this Bradford she had just become aware of might be a force with which to be reckoned.

Where the devil was she?

Jared shifted restlessly before swinging his legs to the floor and standing up. Cassie would come soon. It meant nothing that she was late, he told himself.

But she had never been late before.

He moved toward the window and looked out at
the sea. Smooth and serene tonight. No reason for her to be with Kapu.

Perhaps she was ill.

He felt a leap of alarm. Had she appeared unwell at the supper table tonight? No, just quiet and remote as she usually was when they encountered each other outside his cabin. When she walked through that door, there was nothing remote about her. She was all fire and beauty. God, she came
alive
.

He felt a heavy aching in his loins. How had he come to this? It had never been like this with other women. She was like a sickness, a fever in his blood.

Why was he just standing there, waiting? He should throw on some clothes and go to her cabin as he had threatened. He half turned and then stopped.

Shame. She had averted her eyes when she had asked him if he would insist on coming to her. She had been too proud to plead with him, but he had known she had desperately wished not to be shown vulnerable to Lani. She had been like an uncertain little girl, and he had softened.

As he was softening toward her now, he realized in exasperation. No matter how angry and frustrated he was with her, he could not bring her shame.