Dark Secrets (109 page)

“
It’s a brooch,” she
said, turning the delicate glass blossom in my open
palm.

“
But—” I stole my
gaze away from it to look at her, “—this should be passed down to
Sam, shouldn’t it?”

Vicki shook her head
and closed my fingers around the flower. “It‘s been passed down in
my family from daughter to daughter; it belongs to you
now.”

“
Vicki, I—how can I
ever thank you for all you’ve done for me?” I jumped off the stool
and hugged her tight, gripping the sapphire blossom in my hand. “I
love you, Mom.”

“
And I love you,
Ara.” She smiled and bit her quivering lips together. “Now, enough
cliché fussing. Where shall we pin this?”

We placed the brooch,
after much deliberation, to the largest cherry blossom on the
bodice, right where the skirt met my hips, and as everyone stepped
back to take a look at me, I drew a deep breath and squared my
shoulders. “So, that’s everything?”

The chatter of four
girls suddenly burst into the roar of twenty screaming fans at a
boy-band concert. I calmed myself to a picture of composure while
they gathered their bouquets, then hurried into the
corridor.

“
You coming, Ara?”
Alana turned back to look at me.

“
Um, yeah.” A sigh
forced my shoulders to relax. “I’ll just be a sec.”

She smiled knowingly,
then walked away.

The silence seemed to
be filled with all the thoughts I’d been afraid of, all the truths
I couldn’t own today. So, before it could destroy resolution, I
wandered out quickly, looking back for only a moment before
shutting the door on the warm yellow light of the past.

Dad came out of his
room at the same time; I waited in anticipation for him to turn
around. “Dad?”

His face moved from
the thoughts of the day ahead to a round-mouthed, wide-eyed smile.
“Oh, honey,” he said, raising my hand above my head to spin me
around. “Look at you.”

“
It’s not too
overdone, do you think?” I looked down at the marshmallow
skirt.

“
No, you look
perfect.” He kissed my cheek. “You’re so grown up, so before your
time.” He stopped then with a slight sigh. “I’m proud of you,
Ara-Rose—and your mother—” Dad touched my inherited veil, “—I know
she’d be proud of you too.”

I nodded, looking down
at Dad’s hand holding mine.

“
You know you’re
supposed to take your engagement ring off when you get married. It
goes on in front of your wedding ring after the
ceremony.”

“
Really? Well, here,
hold on to it for me.”

He placed my ruby ring
in his top pocket with a little pat. “Are you ready?” he asked
softly.

Ready?
I wasn’t sure if that was the right word. I
inhaled a deep, shaky-yet-excited breath, and let it out in a gust.
“No! Wait. I forgot my bouquet.” I spun on my heel, hitched my
dress up at the front, feeling it swish around the tops of my feet
as I bolted back to my room. The warmth of my yellow walls greeted
me with the sun’s smile as I burst through the door and grabbed the
lone bouquet sitting on the table.

But, as I turned to
walk away, a wave of nostalgia hit me. I took two slow steps back
to where my bed used to be, and let my arms fall to my
sides.

It was so empty in
here now. The crystals that once cast rainbows from the sun were
all gone, so too were the photos on the walls, and the innocence of
childhood. They were all just a memory now, and it felt strange to
be saying goodbye to a place that’d been such a big part of my
life, for such a short time. Despite the pain I suffered here, what
I was leaving behind today were mostly fond memories.

Then, as I turned to
walk away again, a splash of a forbidden colour caught my
eye—resting in the hinge of the old mirror.

One single red
rose.

Breathless, bonded to
the spot, I could no longer feel my arms or lips—my thumping heart
was all that existed. No one would have put that there. I was very
clear. There were to be
no
red roses around today.

I walked over and
plucked the rose from the mirror, dropping it as soon as my fingers
touched the thornless stem.

“
David?”

A silent moment
passed, but only the stammering of my wanting heart echoed
back.
Please be here. Please.

The red rose sat by my
feet. I stared at it for a moment. One red rose. The single element
of colour inside a completely white bouquet; the scarlet
representation of my love for David—of the part of me that would
always be his. I left it out. I wanted to move on—to forget about
him. But we both knew I was fooling myself to think I could ever
move on. There was no moving on, and he wouldn’t let me.

No
. I shook my head and took a step away from the rose. I would
not let his memory reside here, in this life, with me. The past was
his dwelling now—long forgotten and hidden in a dark corner of my
heart, like a favourite old book at the back of a shelf.

The reflection of the
bride holding a colourless bouquet was one of picturesque beauty,
but not what I saw in my dream, in what seemed a lifetime ago. This
was a different image. I was no longer the empty shell of a girl I
used to be. I had moved on, without David,
away
from David, and slowly, I was
growing out of the mask I used to hide behind. Happiness was
becoming a real part of my life, and it was because of Mike that I
could finally be just a girl.
Just
Ara.

Leaving the rose on
the floor where it fell, I smiled. Mike was all I needed now. I
loved David with all of my heart once, and when Mike came back into
my life, my heart simply grew bigger.

With one hand, I
unclasped the silver chain David returned to me. “I will always be
yours, David,” I said into the mirror. “And you will always have a
special place in my heart, but—” I placed the locket on the floor
over the rose and stood back. “But this is me saying goodbye.
Saying…this is the way things
should
be. Don’t let your life be
about me now. It’s time to move on and let things fall where they
may.” My heart and my voice steadied then with the last of my
goodbye. “I love you, David Knight. I’ll love you for forever—but
it just has to be forever apart.”

Slowly and
reluctantly, I walked to the door and placed my fingers over the
handle. When I turned back to look around my room for the last
time—the rose and the locket were gone.

With faltering
resolution and a tender heart, I blinked back the pain, and closed
the door behind me.

Dad winked at me when
I took his arm, and we walked down the stairs to the warm spring
morning—the last morning I would ever look across the road at the
oval of the school where I once met a boy. He wasn't there
anymore—no longer waiting by the grass for me to take his hand. He
was gone, and I was moving on.

The photographer
placed us in position to document the momentous occasion before we
could climb into the bridal car and drive away, leaving behind all
the innocence of youth and the sadness of eternal nights. Bright,
sunny days were my path now.

I looked up at the
blue sky, just as I did that first day I came to live here, only,
back then, in my heart, I wanted nothing more than to go back home,
while today, the idea had me stealing glances at my dad, Sam, and
even Vicki, wondering how I was going to cope with missing
them.

I guess life has a
funny way of granting the things we want, when we no longer really
want them. I came here alone, and I was leaving with a heart full
of family and friends who loved me. I knew that when the night
descended and I said my final farewells, I’d cry, because at some
point in all my growing up, I learned that home was built with the
hearts of people you love; it was a place you knew you could always
return, where waiting arms would greet you and make you
safe.

And I guess, in that
sense, I never really needed to find my way home, because I’d truly
been there all along.

Out Now!

Book 2 of Dark
Secrets