Dark Side of Dawn: The Nightmare Chronicles (12 page)

I could have killed her. Honest to God. If I thought I
had the power to unmake one of my kind I would do it right on the spot. But my father was the only one who had that power, lucky for the Warden.

“And don’t even think of going after him again,” she warned me. “If I catch even the faintest whiff of you in that man’s dreams, I’ll report you to the Council—and I’ll tell them about Miss Jenkins. They won’t be so quick to think you an innocent then.”

It was almost worth the risk until she said, “And once you’re unmade, who will look after your mother when your father is busy trying to keep his kingdom?”

My eyes burned. Any minute I was going to lose control and rip this bitch apart just for the sheer pleasure of it.

And then she was gone. All of it was gone. It was like some giant hand gave me a huge shove and knocked me out of the Dreaming back into the mortal world. I even stumbled as I hit the ground.

I was in my office. Alone. The Warden had tossed me out like a bag of dirty laundry.

I could tell Morpheus what she’d said, but then I’d have to tell him what I had done. He had to be told that the Warden was part of the group who had set themselves against him. Somehow, I’d find a way to tell him that. And if I had to, I’d tell him everything.

God, what was it with me? Why was I so afraid of
the men in my life that I wasn’t completely honest with them until I had to be?

As my anger dissolved, I slumped into the chair I used during sessions and buried my face in my hands. She’d let Phillip go free. He wouldn’t confess, not now. And there was nothing I could do about it.

How was I going to tell Noah that I’d failed? How could I face Amanda knowing that I had fucked up so very royally?

I’d let Phillip’s vileness—his mother’s evil—coat me like a film. I’d let my own dark nature seep through and take over. I’d been a proper bitch to Noah, and all of it was for nothing.

And I wish I could say it was residual darkness that made me want some kind of revenge on the Warden, but it wasn’t. It was one hundred percent all me. She and I had a score to settle, and some day, I was going to settle it.

Time passed differently in the Dreaming, so only a few moments had gone by when I finally buzzed Bonnie and told her to send Noah in.

I’d touched up my makeup—enough to hide most of the flush my confrontation with the Warden had brought to my cheeks—and my knees had stopped trembling by the time Noah walked in.

He must have had a meeting or something because he was wearing a crisp white shirt and black jacket with his jeans. His boots had been polished as well, and his hair, while spiky, was artfully so. He looked nice. Good enough to eat.

I forced a smile and stood as he shut the door behind him. “You’re all dressed up.” What a conversationalist I am!

“Meeting with a gallery owner,” he said. “Are you busy?”

“No. I’m done for the day.” We just stood there, looking at each other. “Are you still mad at me?”

“A little,” he replied with a slight smile. He ran his hand through his hair. “I thought you might want to go out. It’s been a while since we’ve done anything like that.”

Okay, so I guess he wasn’t going to dump me. That was good. “I’d like that,” I replied. “But first I have to tell you something.”

A frown pulled his brow. “Okay. What?” A man of many words was Noah.

I went to him. I only meant to close the distance between us, but somehow I ended up in his arms. I don’t know which one of us embraced the other first. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about seeing Durdan. You were right. I fucked up, Noah.”

He went very still, but his arms were strong and
warm around me. “Yeah, you did. But it wouldn’t have happened if I’d told you what Amanda said.”

I looked up, forcing myself to meet his gaze. That fear nudged me again, but I fought it. I would be honest this time. “No, I mean I really fucked up. The Warden found out what I did to Durdan and she reversed it. He’s not going to confess now.” I was on the verge of tears. I felt like crap and I didn’t want him mad at me and I was tired, damn it! “I’m so sorry.”

“
You’re
sorry?” He caught my face in his hand, and lifted my chin with surprisingly gentle but firm fingers. “Dawn, you don’t have to apologize.”

I can only imagine how awful I looked with my face as squished up as it was. “But I wanted to help Amanda, and now he’s going to get away with it unless the cops get a clue.” And I meant that literally as well as figuratively.

Was he laughing at me? “Doc, no one has done more for Mandy than you.”

My face smoothed out. “You’re not mad?”

He tilted his head. “That you tried to help Amanda? No. That you seem bound and determined to get yourself in shit? A little. You don’t have to take these risks.”

I really couldn’t believe my ears. “If I don’t, who will?”

“Doc, it’s over. I found one of Durdan’s business
cards and called the police. I told them about the doll you saw. I told them everything.”

My eyebrows rose. “Everything?”

He chuckled. “Maybe not everything, but enough that he’s a person of interest.”

Giddiness washed over me. The Warden’s interference didn’t matter. My own actions hadn’t really mattered. Score one for the humans.

“Thank God,” I murmured. Once the police searched Durdan’s workshop they would find all the evidence they needed. They had to.

“So,” Noah said, giving me another squeeze before letting me go. “Let’s go grab some dinner and go back to my place so we can make up the right way.”

That sounded so unbelievably good to me. I grabbed my coat and purse and turned off the lights before locking my office. There was no one else around so I set the alarm—the night cleaning crew knew the code—and we left.

It was a cool evening, but pleasant enough. I hated that it was starting to get dark so early. I missed the long, bright days of summer. Soon it would be dark at four o’clock. Ugh. I’d get more clients in the winter, though. It never failed. All that darkness, cold, and holiday cheer drove most people into depression. I guess that was something to look forward to.

My office was on Madison between Forty-second and Forty-third, all of which were heavy with pedestrian traffic at this time of day. Lots of people heading toward Grand Central Station for their train, or various streets for a bus. I was glad that I lived a few blocks south and east, in Murray Hill. I didn’t have to train to work anymore unless the weather was crap.

We walked along Forty-third toward Fifth, holding hands, talking about our day. It was like nothing bad had ever happened between us, although I knew we’d talk about it later when we were at his place. There were still some things we needed to discuss—and apologize for.

I was happy that Noah had another gallery interested in obtaining some of his work. Even though we hadn’t been together long, I was very proud of his work and how successful he had become.

And of course, I was very honored to have been one of his subjects. I looked almost angelic in “The Nightmare” as I held a sleeping man in my arms. The man was Noah. Showing me the painting was how he broached the subject of finding out exactly what I am.

Funny, but if it weren’t for Karatos, the whole of which had been one of the worst experiences of my life, I probably wouldn’t have gotten together with Noah. See what I mean about positive things coming out of the negative? I should write a book on it. Maybe it
would hit the
NYT
list and make me a superstar. I could go on
Oprah
and never have to worry about having a full case load again.

Hey, a girl could dream. Couldn’t she?

We were on our way out of a Starbucks, each nursing a piping hot latte when Noah’s cell phone rang. He checked the number before flipping it open. I don’t think he would have picked up if he hadn’t thought it important. “Hey, Mandy.”

Amanda. Yeah, she was definitely important. I sipped my latte and watched him out of the corner of my eye as he talked.

“What…? Yeah, she’s with me. Hold on.” He turned his face toward me. “Amanda wants to know if we have time to meet her for a drink?”

“Of course.” She either wanted to celebrate or commiserate. “What happened?”

He held up his cup, gesturing for me to hold on, and went back to his phone. “Did you hear that? Yeah, we’ll meet you there. Bye.” Then he snapped the phone shut and tucked it in his pocket.

“What’s happened? Is she all right?”

Noah’s normally smooth, golden brow wrinkled. “I’m not sure. She sounded weird.”

“I hope the police didn’t let Durdan go.” I knew without him saying a word that Noah hoped the same. We
walked the rest of the way in tense silence. When we reached the hotel where Amanda wanted to meet, she was already in the bar waiting.

She looked up when we entered, her gaze going from me to Noah. And then she burst into tears.

She was also laughing.

“They got him,” she said as she rose from her seat. Tears ran down her cheeks as she laughed with unbridled relief. “I picked him out of the lineup and he’s been charged.”

She held her arms out to me first and I hugged her so hard I thought I might snap her spine. I think we might have jumped up and down too. I’m not sure.

“Let’s celebrate,” I said when we broke apart and Noah took his turn with the hugging. I glanced at him to see if it was OK, and he nodded. “Amanda, come have dinner with us.”

As she withdrew from Noah’s arms I thought her expression looked strangely sheepish. “I’d love to, but I can’t. I already have plans for dinner.” She cast a quick peek at Noah. “Warren is taking me out for Italian.”

Now, this was a surprise! Noah and I exchanged surprised glances. “Great,” I enthused. “Say hi to him for us.”

She said she would, and after our good-byes, Noah
and I walked her to the street, where she caught a cab, and we decided to head over to K town to a little Vietnamese place I’d found there that served great pho.

“You must feel pretty good about yourself,” I remarked as we walked inside. “Your call to the police paid off.”

He gave me an assessing look. “You waiting for me to say I told you so?”

I looked sheepish and I knew it. “You could.”

He shrugged. “Hearing you say it works for me.” Then he grinned. “Let’s eat. Celebrate. Talk later.”

Sounded good to me. A few minutes later we were seated. I waited until the appetizers arrived before I brought up another potentially tricky subject. “Warren, huh?”

Noah chuckled and snatched up a chunk of spring roll with his chopsticks. “I wondered how long you could last before you brought that up.” He popped the crispy morsel in his mouth, chewed and swallowed. “My brother’s always had a thing for Mandy.”

“You don’t mind?” I dipped my own chunk of spring roll in a small puddle of hot sauce and hoisin. “I suppose it’s not really a date. I mean, she’s still recovering…”

He cut me off. “I don’t care.” He said it like a man who really didn’t, not in a jealous way at any rate.
“They’re much better suited than she and I ever were. Warren will take good care of her, and right now he’s being a friend, which is exactly what she needs.”

I couldn’t argue with that. I raised my chopsticks and their sauce-covered prize. “To breakthroughs and budding romances.”

Noah clicked his spring roll against mine. Our gazes locked, and I knew he was about to make his point. “And to staying out of the Warden’s way.”

I stuffed my food into my mouth before I could say anything—such as make a promise I might not be able to keep.

Antwoine Jones was a little shorter than me with a lean and wiry build that could be mistaken for frail, but was just the opposite. His dark hair was graying, but his eyes were keen. He had a kind of Morgan Freeman vibe about him—like I thought Will Smith would be in another twenty years or so.

He was one of the few humans who had ever tangled with my father. I was pretty sure Antwoine was one of these anomalies that seemed to start popping up before my birth, but had become more and more common. They were people who had some power within the Dreaming—like Noah.

Anyway, Antwoine had fallen in love with a succubus, apparently tried to kill Morpheus, and got himself
banished to his own private corner of the Dreaming for the trouble.

His face lit up when he saw me, and I knew mine did the same. It had been too long since I’d seen him, even though we hadn’t known each other very long. Antwoine had realized what I was the first time we met—seeing what even my siblings didn’t know.

“Child, you are a sight for these sore eyes.” He laughed as he hugged me.

I laughed too. “You talk like you’re ancient.”

He released me. “Some days I feel it.”

We took our seats and the waiter came by with water and menus. We didn’t need them. I wanted shrimp pad thai, and Antwoine ordered the same with chicken. We made small talk until the food came and we were relatively certain we wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Much as I’ve missed you, I have a feeling there’s something you’re not telling me.” Antwoine twined noodles around his fork—like he was eating spaghetti. “What’s the deal, little Dawn?”

I brought him up to speed on what had been going on since we last spoke—my meeting with Hadria, how I convinced Durdan to confess, and the Warden’s interference.

He stared at me over his plate, noodles hanging from his fork as it hovered halfway to his mouth. “Life ain’t never dull with you is it, girl?”

I chuckled, pretending for a moment that things really were as light as he made it sound. “I just wanted you to know that being my friend might not be such a great thing for you—or for Madrene.”

He didn’t look worried as he shoved the fork into his mouth and chewed. “Don’t you worry yourself about Madrene and me. The Warden’s no threat to us.”

I arched a brow. “You sound fairly certain of that.” I hate to admit it, but for a second my trust in Antwoine wavered—just a little—as I suspected there was something he wasn’t telling me.

Antwoine wiped his mouth with a paper napkin and took a drink of water. “I am. The only way she’d come after me and Madrene is if we broke one of her precious rules. Neither of us bein’ Nightmares, we hardly fall under her jurisdiction anyway.”

That was true. There, no need to be paranoid at all. If I’d had the good fortune to be born a succubus, the cow wouldn’t be after me either. Or maybe she would, because of the prophecy.

Prophecy. Have you ever heard anything so idiotic in your life? And to think that people actually believed in it! Seriously, hadn’t these people learned anything from Nostradamus? Prophecies were open to all kinds of interpretations.

“So,” he said, spearing a bit of chicken. He smiled
as he spoke. “You’re going to risk the King’s wrath by getting two wronged lovers back together, are you?”

“I promised you I would, and I like to keep my promises.” At least ones that didn’t involve leaving well enough alone.

“You don’t need to get in trouble just because of a promise to me.”

“You don’t know what I need, old man.” I tried to make a joke of it, but it came out a little awkward sounding.

Antwoine gave me a pointed look, but he didn’t say anything more about it.

We ate in silence for a few moments, and then I couldn’t help myself. “Antwoine?”

He looked up, kind brown eyes easing the tension inside me. “What?”

“Remember that day we met at the drugstore?”

He laughed. “You ran out of there without your change ’cause you thought I was a crazy old man.”

I smiled. “And you bought an iced tea with it.”

He nodded, still grinning. “I did. I did. What about it?”

I stirred my fork through the shrimp and noodles left on my plate. “How did you know what I was?”

The laughter faded from his face. Even his eyes lost some of their sparkle. “I don’t know. I just did—just like I knew what Madrene was the first time I saw her. It’s a talent I guess.”

I forced a smile, hiding my disappointment that he couldn’t offer a better explanation. Then he decided to broadside me.

“But you’re more than a Nightmare, Dawn.”

I froze, all thoughts of digging back into my lunch suddenly abandoning me. “What am I, then?”

And then my friend shook his head with an expression of awe that made me more than a little uncomfortable. “Damned if I know, child. Damned if I know.”

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Noah asked later that evening as we sat on my couch watching an episode of
Firefly
. I had the box set and the movie. Joss Whedon is a genius when it comes to dialog and character.

I choked on a piece of popcorn. Was I that transparent? And where did I start? I took a drink of diet Dr. Pepper before answering. My eyes were watering as I turned to face him. “What makes you think I’m hiding something?”

“You’re quiet,” was all he said in reply.

I arched a brow. “That’s a bad thing?” Normally I thought maybe I talked too much.

“It’s a strange thing.” Notice, he didn’t tell me I
didn’t
talk too much.

One thing at a time. “Does it bother you that I’m not human?”

He shrugged. “I don’t give it much thought.”

“But when you do think of it, does it bother you?”

Noah pressed pause on the remote, freezing Nathan Fillion mid one-liner. He angled his body to face me fully. “Seems to bother you.”

Wait a second, I was the one asking questions. “Well, yeah. Wouldn’t you be ticked if you didn’t know what you were?”

His head tilted as his lips curved. He looked so yummy against the dark brown cushions. “You’re you, Doc.”

I didn’t share his humor. “Forget I asked. Obviously the fact that I’m half freak doesn’t mean anything to you.” Folding my arms over my chest, I closed myself up, feeling like a freaking idiot.

Noah reached over and tugged on a piece of my hair. “Where’s this coming from?”

“Antwoine doesn’t know what I am.” Once the words were out there was no taking them back. I had intended to pout a little longer. I was good at pouting, especially when I felt like I was being made fun of.

His expression turned incredulous. “So?”

I sighed. “He seems to have a knack for identifying Dreamkin.”

“But when you two met he called you a Nightmare.”

“Apparently I’m more than that.” Give me a few minutes and I’d be feeling so sorry for myself I’d be guest of honor at my own pity party.

“That surprises you?”

“Yeah.” Kinda. “It doesn’t surprise you?” He sure didn’t sound like it did.

“You’re the daughter of a god—his only half-human child. That you exist is a miracle. Why wouldn’t you be something no one has ever seen before?”

When he put it like that, it sounded so simple and right—like I wasn’t a freak, but something special, and that was okay.

“Maybe I just wish I was normal.”

Noah laughed. “Yeah, right.”

My mouth opened and nothing came out. He wasn’t laughing at me to be malicious, but he certainly seemed to see me differently than I saw myself.

“If you wanted to be normal,” he said, grinning to take the sting out, “you wouldn’t do the work you do. If you didn’t like being different, the idea of being unmade wouldn’t freak you out so much.”

I protested. “Being unmade would change me. I wouldn’t be me anymore.”

His smile turned smug and I realized my mistake. “Exactly.”

Scowling at being shown so much truth about myself, I went back to petulance. “I guess it doesn’t bother you, then.”

Noah’s smile faded, but his eyes sparkled as he reached over and pried my arms away from my chest.
He took my hands in his. “You’re one of a kind. Some days I like that better than others, but I like
you
, Doc. I don’t care if Antwoine knows what you are. I do.”

That was quite possibly one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me, and I was mortified when tears sprung to my eyes. “Oh.” I didn’t put up a fight when he pulled me close and kissed me. Sighing, I gave myself up to the sweet pressure of his lips.

I didn’t protest when he pushed me onto my back on the cushions. In fact, I tugged at his shirt and pulled it up until he was forced to stop kissing me long enough to take it off. My own shirt came off next, followed by the remainder of our clothes until we were skin against skin and he was inside me, our breath mingling as our bodies undulated together. I clutched at his shoulders, feeling Noah’s muscles bunch beneath my fingers as he thrust one last time. I came loudly—mindlessly—as he stiffened above me, groaning against my neck.

And in those few moments, my life was perfect.

Before I could go looking for Madrene, I had to spend some time with Verek and Hadria. The priestess sent a request for my presence shortly after I entered the Dreaming when Noah and I eventually went to bed. I really didn’t want to leave Noah, but I didn’t want to be rude to the one person other than my father who seemed to be on my side either. So when her carriage showed
up, I climbed in. Within minutes I was in that large, shadowy cavern, told that Hadria wanted to observe my training with Verek and offer some of her own.

Of course I agreed—not that I really had a choice.

“Um, Hadria?” I asked, thinking I might as well take advantage of the situation.

The freakishly tall woman smiled sweetly. “Yes?”

I cast a quick glance at Verek, but his attention seemed focused on the shadow moving in the corner than on what I was saying. “I’m not just a Nightmare, am I?” Even though Noah insisted he knew what I was and was fine with it, I wasn’t satisfied. I had this unexplainable need to break myself down to all the key components. Ever since Jackey Jenkins I’d been struck by a feeling of not knowing myself—or what I was capable of.

Hadria blinked at me—like a Himalayan cat I’d had as a kid, all great big eyes. “Why, no. You are not.”

I smiled—tight lipped. “Can you tell me just what the heck I am?” Must be very careful not to use potty mouth around the adults.

She set a platter that I hadn’t seen her retrieve, of fruits and cheese, onto the table. “You are a little bit of everything in this world. A little bit of all of us, and more.”

And then she turned and glided away, sailing toward a doorway I hadn’t noticed before.

“Thanks for the clarification,” I muttered.

I heard a chuckle behind me and I turned to see Verek watching me. “What?” I demanded with a scowl.

The gorgeous big guy just shook his head. “Nothing. By the way, we’re going to train with the mist again today.”

“No.” I shook my head violently—so much so it almost made me dizzy. “No freaking way.”

But Verek only smiled. “It was Hadria’s idea.”

Jerk. He knew he had me now.

“Dawn—” Hadria swept back into the room with another platter of food for the table. “Am I correct in assuming you have yet to receive your mark?”

I raised my brows. “I have no idea.”

Another serene smile. “You would know if you had. When you have opened yourself up to your potential and accepted what you are, you will receive the mark—the symbolic talisman of your destiny.”

I looked at the tattoo on her chest. “Is that yours?”

She was still smiling—big surprise—as her fingers brushed the stylized spider. “Yes. It is the symbol of Ama, declaring me High Priestess.”

So she wasn’t just any priestess, but the Grand Pooh-bah. Nice. I turned to Verek. “Where’s yours?”

The Nightmare grinned and pulled down the waist of his pants to reveal a small dagger tattoo just above and slightly left of his right hipbone. He even had muscles
there—bladelike ridges on either side of his abdomen. I will admit—but never out loud—that my mouth went a little dry at the sight. My cheeks burned as well. No doubt that was the desired effect.

“The dagger is the mark of the Nightmares,” Hadria explained, seemingly unaffected by Verek’s display of golden flesh.

“So I should end up with one as well?” God, I hoped it wasn’t on my abs. I was a little squishy there.

The tall woman shrugged lightly. “Perhaps. Or, you may develop the mark of something else. Once you receive yours we will be able to better understand where your talents lean.”

“It takes some people a long time to get their mark,” Verek added, giving me a look that had my cheeks warming even more, but this time because of how he could read my insecurities. “Don’t be upset if it takes a while, especially since you’re able to do so much.”

He made it sound like a good thing. I think that was the moment when the two of us officially became friends, at least in my estimation. That was why I wiped my slightly moist palms on my jeans, stood up straight and said, “Let’s do this.”

Verek flashed me a grin so proud I had to look away. I think I was more comfortable when he picked on me. Still, I took some strength and confidence from that smile as the shadow in the corner crept up the wall to
hover near the ceiling. Apparently Hadria’s pet wraith didn’t like the mist either.

Both Nightmare and Priestess came to me, flanking me as they each took one of my hands.

“What are you doing?” I asked, but I allowed them to twine their fingers with mine.

“Lesson number one,” Verek said, glancing down at me. “Take us to the mist.”

I stared at him. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.” He squeezed my fingers. “Just like you do it when you open a door to this world. Think of where you want to be and then will us there.”

I wanted to learn how to teleport, sure, but I thought someone would instruct me on how to do it, not just demand that I succeed right away. Talk about pressure. I didn’t want to make an idiot of myself in front of Hadria, but if I didn’t try I’d be a failure in more ways than one.