Dark Side of Dawn: The Nightmare Chronicles (23 page)

Thin strands like smoke began to curl around me as
well, dancing and weaving through me as well. And the voices that had once been so cutting and harsh were now soft and welcoming. The mist understood what I was. And for the first time, I think I did too.

I was the Dreaming.

When I came back into my own form, my wounds were healed as though they’d never existed. How long had I been gone? I stood in the center of that arena floor with the mist banked around my feet, climbing around me like the scent of sunshine or baking bread.

Now I smiled at Padera. “That all you got?” I asked, oh-so arrogantly. I urged the mist away. Now that I understood, I didn’t want it getting between us. I didn’t want it to get hurt. It only wanted to love and save this world. And now, it only wanted to love and save me.

The Warden’s face was pale, but severe, as she raised her sword. Obviously, that wasn’t all she had.

“Watch your boyfriend,” she muttered. “He knows he has power, and he’s not above using you to reach his full potential.”

She was trying to throw me off, I knew that. She almost succeeded. “Shut up.”

She shrugged. Her blade never wavered—so much for thinking her skinny little arms were weak. “Believe what you will. You probably believe our father would never turn his back on you either.”

I gritted my teeth. “I know he wouldn’t.”

She smiled, but it wasn’t taunting, it was pitying. “I
knew
that once too.” Her gaze locked with mine. “You have no idea what he is. No idea what a monster you truly are.”

Right there things got a little fuzzy. I remember her going into an immediate and quick offense, striking while I was still stunned by her verbal blows. The burning in my eyes and stomach spread to each arm and leg, every finger and toe. I felt as though my hair was made of flames. A searing pain tore through my shoulder and I roared in response. All that fire that had rushed out, came pouring back into my center. My arms came up. My blade, weightless yet impossibly heavy, moved like it was an extension of my body. I pivoted and whirled, turned and feinted, all the while slashing wildly with my sword. I shoved it downward, holding it parallel to my body so that the tip pointed at my toes. It sliced like a hot knife through butter.

I heard a gasp—and Noah yelled my name.

I blinked, bringing the room back into focus as my chest heaved and my lungs greedily sucked air. Everyone was staring at me. Some—like my father—looked triumphant. Others, like Noah and my mother, looked slightly shocked. There were others who glared at me with blatant hatred.

A gurgling sound at my feet drew my gaze down. On the mat, Padera lie pinned like a butterfly, my sword
sticking out of the middle of her chest, leaking bubbles of blood as she tried to breathe.

“Oh shit!” I pulled the sword out of her and tossed it aside as I fell to my knees beside my sister. I pressed my hands over the flooding wound in her chest. I wasn’t a killer. I wasn’t. I knew she couldn’t die, but I had hurt her, badly. Seeing her suffer made the base of my skull prickle with pins and needles, filled me with a hot chill that made me think I really was a monster after all.

I tried to fix her, but I couldn’t think straight. I hovered on the brink of hysteria.

Suddenly, Morpheus was there beside me, pushing aside my bloody hands. He placed his palm over Padera’s wound and I watched as the blood flow stopped, as her expression eased from pain and terror to discomfort and awareness. She looked at me and blinked. She didn’t look so mean anymore. She didn’t look cold or pinched or scary.

She looked young and bewildered. She looked like my sister.

I managed to lurch a few feet away from her before I threw up. Amazingly, a large bowl had appeared in front of me at the exact moment my stomach emptied itself. How convenient.

“Doc!” I heard Noah’s voice, lifted my head to search for him. I saw him jumping off the stands and running toward me. One of the Nightmares tried to stop him
only to be stopped by a wall that appeared between them.

Noah had power. Real power. Was it because of the amulet or was it his own? And what kind of trouble was that going to get me into?

Noah rushed to kneel beside me. “Doc, are you all right? Say something.”

I nodded, my hands stiff and clumsy as they closed around his arms. He’d have bloody prints on his sleeves. “I’m okay. Noah, I’m okay.” As long as you didn’t count the shaking in my limbs, the pain in my shoulder where I’d been cut, and the strange burning feeling on the back of my neck that I couldn’t explain.

He crushed me to his chest, his hands running over my back. I was sore from the fight, but I wasn’t about to tell him to stop. Slowly, the heat from his body filled mine and I began to feel a little like myself again.

I think I’d lost some of myself as well.

Morpheus knelt down. “Noah, I need to tend to Dawn’s injuries.”

He didn’t want to let me go anymore than I wanted him to, but Noah reluctantly drew back so my father could close the shallow cut on my cheek and the much deeper gash in my left shoulder. I made the mistake of looking at it as he worked and almost puked again. Was that bone?

Not only did he heal me, but he took away the pain
as well. Except for the tingling on the back of my neck. Jesus, what was that?

“What did you do to her?” I asked. “She changed. Did you unmake her?”

“More like I reset her,” he replied. I’d never noticed the lines around his eyes as much as I did right then. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to destroy his daughter, even if he could remake her in another image, because doing so would mean taking away everything she was, or ever had been, and obviously he still had a lot of love for those parts of her.

“I hope you don’t expect me to invite her for a slumber party or anything,” I remarked drily as he helped me to my feet. “It’s going to be a long frigging time before I can look at her and not think of all she did to me.” I tried not to lean on him. I didn’t want to need him. Didn’t want to put myself in his hands at that moment, but I didn’t have a choice.

He nodded. “Me too.”

But he had saved her regardless. Hmm. Maybe he was father material after all.

My mother rushed up to me, engulfing me in her slender arms despite her pristine clothing and my bloody, sweaty state. “I knew you’d protect him,” she whispered tearfully before kissing my cheek. “I feel so much better knowing you can protect yourself as well.”

I frowned, but before I could say anything, she pulled
away, gifted me with a tearful smile, and then walked away to keep Noah company while my father and I talked.

I glanced over at Padera. “Are you still going to confine her?”

“For a while, yes.”

I looked at him closely. “You’re going to help her, aren’t you?”

He nodded. “I am. I’m sorry if that hurts you.”

Oddly enough it didn’t. “She’s your responsibility. You should help her.”

Morpheus smiled. “You always were too bossy for your own good.”

That made me smile. “Morpheus…Dad…” I didn’t get a chance to say anything else because he cut me off with a fierce hug that robbed me of breath let alone speech. I guess we really didn’t need to say anything else anyway.

When he finally released me and I could breathe, I said, “Can I talk to her for a moment?”

His brow puckered, but he nodded. “For a moment.”

Noah shot me a quizzical glance when I didn’t come to him, but I held up a finger for him to wait for me. I’d explain later.

My sister sat alone. Not even those who had served under her as Nightmares moved to assist her. Only a few of my father’s guards stood near her, ready to take
her away when Morpheus gave the command. Her injuries had been healed as well, but I suspected her chest still felt like a horse had kicked it, and probably would for a while.

I knelt in front of her. “Do you know our other siblings?”

Her eyes were wary as she raised her gaze to mine, but there was no longer the hate that had been there before. It really was like our father had hit her reset button. “Yes.”

“How many are there?”

She laughed—a genuine laugh. “Fifty. That I know of.”

Fifty? Shit. I guess that wasn’t so bad for a guy who’d been around forever.

I wanted to know my siblings in this world as well as I knew them in the human realm. Family was good to have close—whether you let them guard your back or to remind you not to turn it on them.

“Someday, when I ask you to,” I began, “will you take me to them?”

I couldn’t read her expression as she regarded me carefully. She didn’t trust me, I imagine—no more than I trusted her. But we were sisters, and blood counted for something.

“I will,” she said just as the guards helped her to her feet. I guess Morpheus had decided we’d talked long enough.

I rose as well and watched them take her away. Our gazes never looked away from each other until she was gone from the room. That’s when I went to Noah and gratefully melted into his arms.

“It has been settled.” Once again Gladios’s huge voice filled the room. “Dawn Riley is the new Warden of the Nightmares.”

There were some cheers, a few polite applauses, and some glares. I faced them all with a neutral expression with Noah by my side. I was Warden and I had no idea what that was. I had power though I didn’t know its full extent. I had people who would look to me to lead them.

And I had enemies. How long would it be before someone challenged me for the title? I had to learn and learn fast if I was going to hang on to the position, if I was going to use it to help my father keep his throne.

“Praise Ama,” came a voice from behind me.

I turned just as Hadria swept down upon me, took me by the shoulders—easily dislodging me from Noah’s hold—and turned me around. That’s when she gasped.

“What?” I demanded, thinking some kind of parasite had burrowed into my flesh and that was why the spot burned like it did.

Turning me around again, the huge priestess cupped my face in her long hands and kissed both my cheeks. “Congratulations, Dawn. You have received your mark.”

So now I’m the Warden.

What does that mean exactly? Well, I’m not quite sure. I know that it means a lot of responsibility and power—yee-haw. And I know that there are people not exactly thrilled with the regime change. I’ve met with the Council and the Nightmare guild itself, and Verek’s been assigned to help me ease into the position. Noah’s not too crazy about that, as you can imagine. I kinda like him being jealous. It’s nice it not being me for a change.

I’m having a meeting with the Council tomorrow night to discuss the particulars now that things have calmed down, and by the end of the month I’ll make
my official debut. I hope I know what I’m doing by then.

You’d think the change in status would have made my life even more crazy, but in truth, things calmed down a lot after the fight with Padera—who Morpheus says is doing well. I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen her, and I didn’t intend to, not for a while. She and my fifty other siblings could wait for the time being.

Right now I was enjoying the downtime. Soon enough I expected to encounter some of those who publicly hated my father, and in turn me, and then things would get ugly again. That was just how things were going to be for me, the strange little half-breed.

That was why I resolved to take advantage of the quiet. The exception to this was the visit Noah and I made to Antwoine and Madrene in Antwoine’s garden. I had promised Noah I’d help him figure out what he was capable of, and I meant it—we just had to do it in his dreams. Under the radar. Madrene and Antwoine were the picture of bliss, though it was weird seeing him as she saw him—as he was in his own mind, young and vital once more. Still, I was glad to see him so happy.

As for my mother and father, things seemed pretty status quo. Morpheus was proud as hell that I was the new Warden, but if he thought I was going to do everything he wanted, he was going to be very disappointed. Mom was pleased as well, and hadn’t made any other
remarks about me being able to look after myself or Morpheus.

Oh, and that mark I’d suddenly developed? Hadria thinks it happened after I melded with the mist—not when I pinned my sister to the floor like a tail on a paper donkey. That’s good. I’d like not to think that I’d come into my power or destiny or whatever after doing something so violent. Anyway, from what I could tell, the mark looked similar to the OM symbol, without the squiggling bits coming out—sort of like a stylized 3. Hadria says it represents the waking state, the dreaming state and the connection between the two.

She’s very excited because basically she thinks it means that I am the key to dealing with the thinning of the veil between the human world and the Dreaming. She thinks I’ll be able to protect both worlds from each other and eventually lead to rebuilding the separation between the dimensions, or lead to the assimilation of the two.

I’m thinking either way it sounds like a lot of work. And I’m hoping that it’s just a symbol of my birth, or maybe my lucky number.

Thanksgiving rolled around a couple of weeks after my ascension to Warden. Noah and I were invited to Amanda’s apartment for dinner, along with the rest of Noah’s family and Amanda’s as well.

Warren answered the door. Dressed in khaki trou
sers and a white shirt, he looked like he just stepped off the pages of
GQ
. Of course, he couldn’t hold a candle to Noah, but I’m biased. He grinned when he saw it was us.

“Hey, guys. You’re early.”

“Dawn hates to be late,” Noah drawled as we stepped inside. He wore black pants, a white shirt and black leather jacket. Very sexy. Things had been good with us since the big showdown, but I hadn’t forgotten what Padera said. I trusted her as much as I’d trust a rat. God knew. I trusted Noah infinitely more, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have his own agenda. It didn’t make that wrong either. I didn’t spend much time brooding over it. I’d find out in time.

Noah handed his stepbrother the two bottles of wine we’d brought. “Smells good in here.”

It did too—like savory and stuffing and moist turkey. My mouth watered in anticipation.

“I did an amazing job with the turkey,” Warren replied without a hint of modesty. “Wait till you taste my gravy.”

Noah’s smile tipped to one side. “That just sounds wrong.”

I took the wine from Warren and left the two of them to trade barbs while I went into the kitchen to see if I could help Amanda. She was standing over a huge pot, mashing the contents as she poured cream over them.
A stick of real butter sat on a paper wrapper on the counter beside her. My stomach growled in delight. I didn’t care if I gained forty pounds, I was eating whatever I wanted today.

“Can I help?” I asked.

She jumped at the sound of my voice. “Good lord, Dawn! You walk like a cat.”

Amanda looked great. She’d started to gain a little weight and her face was softer. Most of the bruises and swelling were completely gone now, and except for the odd time she shied away from a touch, or the times she seemed to drift off with a haunted look on her face, you’d never know she’d survived the horror she had. Her hair was growing back and she’d discovered all kinds of styles and accessories to hide the stubble.

First time anyone’s ever told me that. “Sorry,” I said sheepishly. “I thought you heard me. Is there anything you need a hand with?”

She gestured to another pot on the stove. “You can drain the veggies and spoon some butter in there with them if you don’t mind.”

“I can do that.” I took the pot to the sink, leaning back from the steam as I emptied the water from it around the cover I held at an angle. “How are you doing?”

The masher rested against the side of the pot as she turned her gaze to mine. “Good,” she replied with
equal amounts certainty and wonder. “Really good. Is that weird?”

I smiled. “Not at all.” In fact, it was lovely to hear. Amanda and I had begun therapy again almost immediately after Durdan (still confused but no longer drooling) was locked up; and I’d been doing things the old-fashioned way this time, rather than messing around in her head. I let her talk things out and work them out on her own. I needed to find a balance between what I did in dreams and in the waking world, especially now with everyone in the Dreaming watching my every move.

“How are
you
?” she asked. This time, her gaze was fixed on the potatoes she was mashing the crap out of.

I had to think about that. Did I wake up on occasion sweating? Did the image of Phil’s face sometimes pop unbidden into my head? Yes. Did it affect my life? Not really. He would fade, just like Karatos was fading—just like everything that didn’t kill me eventually would.

Right now I was having a harder time dealing with how I felt about Padera. She had tried to kill me, but she was my sister. Talk about conflict.

“I’m OK,” I replied as I sliced off a generous pat of butter and dropped it into the vegetables. “I’m just glad it’s over.”

Amanda nodded with a slight smile. “Why don’t you pour us each a glass of wine?”

The wineglasses were on the counter, so I took two of the delicate peach designs and poured a generous amount of the German white Noah and I had brought into each.

“So,” I began as we leaned with our backs against the counter, “how are things with Warren?”

I think she might have blushed a little—either that or she was flushed from the cooking. “Slow. Right now he’s being a very good friend. He seems to know all the right things to say.”

“Occupational perk,” I quipped. Then seriously, “I know I’m being nosy, but do you see a future with him?”

She shrugged, a sad look in her eyes. “All I know is that someday I want to be able to have a man touch me again and not think about how the last one hurt me.”

I reached out and squeezed the hand near mine. “You’ll get there. I promise.” And I meant it. I was in a position now where I could help her—and others like her.

And as Warden, there were very few who could stop me. How was that for a power trip? Part of me couldn’t wait to get into the politics of the job and start weeding out those who were trying to usurp Morpheus. Another part was scared I’d discover that my father deserved usurping.

I also worried—on occasion—about Noah. He had
demonstrated real power in the Dreaming when he bent the world to his will, even if it was slightly. What if some zealot decided anomalies like him should be terminated? I don’t think my heart could take another threat to his safety.

But, that wasn’t something I needed to fret over today. Today, everything was good. Very good. Like one of those dreams you just want to go on forever, it filled you with such a sense of peace. That’s what I felt today; peaceful.

Amanda polished off her wine. “Want to help me load up some bowls and take them to the table?”

“You bet.” I finished my wine as well. The doorbell had rung twice while we were in the kitchen. The rest of the families had arrived, and Warren played host to them, slipping easily into the role of man of the house. I wondered how Amanda felt about that.

I wondered how Noah felt about it too.

Speak of the devil. Noah and Warren chose that exact moment to come into the kitchen. “We’re here to offer our services,” Warren said. “Apparently Mia is about to start gnawing on the coffee table, she’s so hungry.”

“We can’t have that,” I said, handing Noah the huge bowl Amanda had just filled with potatoes, and a slice of turkey to appease his ravenous teenage sister. “You wanna get your gravy made?”

A few minutes later the lot of us were sitting around
the extended table, passing around the bowls and platters of delicious food. Warren was right, his gravy was amazing.

“A toast,” Amanda’s father began, raising his glass. He waited until we all joined him before continuing, “To friends and family. I’m very thankful for both.”

We chorused in agreement and drank.

Noah favored me with a loving smile. “Speaking of thankful…” The look in his eyes made my heart jump into full gallop as he raised his glass to me.

“And to life sentences,” Warren added, interrupting what could have been a much too intimate moment to share in front of family. “I’m thankful for those as well.”

And of course, we all drank to that as well. Phil Durdan was going to be locked away for a very, very long time. In fact, it was very likely he’d never see the outside world again, given he’d been denied parole. Of course, his lawyer would appeal that, but I had a strong suspicion he’d fail.

After all, Durdan was pretty messed up, thanks to me. He wouldn’t be going anywhere until he recovered—if he ever recovered.

Did I feel guilty? Not one little bit.

“I owe you an apology,” I said it as Noah and I were lying in bed later that night, the lights of the city illuminating his bedroom with a soft, murky glow.

He turned and propped himself up on his elbow, resting his head on his hand. He was all highlights and shadows, smooth and silky. He really was quite possibly the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen—even more beautiful than Verek’s perfection. “What have you done now?”

I smiled a little at the teasing in his voice. It helped ease the shit feeling I had for having been such an idiot to him at times. “I’ve been so hard on you for wanting to protect the people you care about, and I’m exactly the same way. We both have a savior complex.” And to think it had only taken nearly being raped, killed, and unmade to figure that out.

“It’s good to have something in common.” His eyes twinkled with humor. “You don’t have to apologize, Doc. I’ve been pretty hard on you too at times.”

My brows drew together. “Yeah, but I think I deserved it.”

Noah laughed—a sound I loved, and reached out to pull me closer. “I think I love you, Doc.”

It was like bands of steel had wrapped around my chest, as David Cassidy began to sing in my head. “I think I love you too.” Who was I trying to kid? I knew I loved him. I
thought
I’d been in love before, but it hadn’t felt like this. It hadn’t felt this right. “I just don’t understand why you put up with me.”

“You make me lose control and you drive me nuts,
but I like it.” He chuckled. “It’s crazy, but I like it. I like
you
.”

I guess it didn’t get much easier or more straightforward than that, did it? Okay, so note to self—no more worrying about Amanda. “Fair enough,” I said. “I won’t question it again.”

He grinned. “Smart girl.” And then he kissed me.

I kissed him back—eagerly. It seemed like it had been too long since we’d been together in this dimension—without anything hanging over our heads.

He pulled my boxers down over my hips and legs, tossing them halfway across the room when they finally came off. Then he kissed his way up my stomach and chest as he inched my tank top higher and higher. I sat up so he could pull it over my head, and lay back with a sigh as his mouth found the hollow just below my ear.

His lips were soft and warm, so sweet and gentle against my feverish skin. He kissed and nibbled along the length of my neck, applying just enough pressure with his teeth to make me shiver and clutch at his shoulders. Down, down he moved until one of my nipples was engulfed in the wet heat of his mouth. I arched upward as he sucked, little spikes of pleasure jolting me from chest to groin. I was already damp and achy, wanting him inside me. But Noah wasn’t done with me. He kissed my ribs, my waist, and my stomach. He
trailed his tongue along the crevice between my thigh and body, the curls between my legs. He kissed the tops of my thighs and calves, and the tops of my feet.

And then, just when I thought I couldn’t melt anymore, he rolled me over and began kissing his way back up. His tongue tickled the sensitive skin behind my knee, up to the curve of my backside. He kissed each cheek and then the small of my back, rubbed his stubble against the dip in my spine before moving up to my shoulders and the back of my neck, where the swirling backward 3 tattoo had appeared the day after I claimed the position of Warden. The hot length of his cock pressed against the apex of my thighs. Instinctively, I spread my legs and lifted my hips, angling one knee a little higher on the bed.