Authors: Helen Black
‘Jack?’ The woman in red spoke. ‘It is you, isn’t it?’
Jack looked puzzled.
‘It’s me,’ the woman roared. ‘Sheba.’
The light dawned. Sheba. A shrink he and Lilly had worked with many a time.
‘Do I look that bad?’ she asked.
‘Of course not,’ he said. ‘I was just away with the fairies. Shopping will do that to you.’
‘I’m Kate.’ Kate stuck out her hand. ‘Jack’s girlfriend.’
Sheba smiled. Her lipstick was as red as her coat. ‘Nice to meet you, Kate.’ She turned to the woman with the baby. ‘This is my girlfriend.’
Jack spluttered. He couldn’t help it.
‘What’s the matter, Jack?’ Sheba asked. ‘Never realized I batted for the other side?’
Jack was speechless. How did you answer a question like that?
‘Don’t worry,’ she giggled. ‘I’ll take it as a compliment. So tell me, how’s Alice?’
Jack tried to smile. ‘Fine.’
‘I saw Lilly at the hospital, did she tell you?’ asked Sheba.
Lilly never told Jack anything, did she?
‘She didn’t mention it, no.’
‘I suspect she was too upset,’ said Sheba.
Kate snorted and Sheba narrowed her eyes.
‘Lilly’s not really worried about Alice,’ Jack explained. ‘She doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with her.’
Sheba pursed her lips. ‘Of course she’s worried, Jack. She’s just trying to come to terms with it at the moment.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s very common indeed, especially amongst mothers.’ Sheba’s voice was gentle. ‘Accepting your child may be disabled in some way takes time. It’s a process, like a bereavement.’
‘No one died,’ said Kate.
Jack knew she meant well, but she sounded too harsh.
‘What Kate means is that if Alice is disabled, she needs some form of treatment,’ he said. ‘We can’t get any of that if Lilly won’t come on board.’
Sheba took a step back and her voice took on a directness of tone. ‘As I understand it, Alice has had all her physical checks, which have come up negative.’
‘But what about other things?’ Jack asked. ‘What about autism? She shows all the signs and yet Lilly won’t have her diagnosed.’
‘Alice is far too young for such a diagnosis,’ Sheba replied. ‘No doctor would consider it at her age.’ She gave him a hard stare. ‘Frankly, Jack, I’m disappointed in you. I know you and Lilly have separated, but you owe her more respect and kindness than this.’
‘Respect has to be earned,’ Kate said.
Sheba looked at Kate as if she were a silly ten-year-old trying to pick a fight and gave a dramatic sigh.
‘Has it come to this, Jack?’ she asked. ‘I really did think better of you.’
Back in the car, Lilly placed the padded envelope with the brown one given to her that morning. What was it? The forensic tests couldn’t possibly have arrived so soon could they?
She grabbed it, but before she could tear the paper, her mobile rang. It was Sheba.
‘Hey, yummy mummy,’ Lilly said.
‘You sound terrible,’ said Sheba.
‘Cold,’ Lilly explained.
She checked the temperature gauge on the dashboard. Minus three. How could she still feel so hot? She opened her top two buttons.
‘Lilly, I’ll get straight to the point,’ said Sheba. ‘I met Jack earlier today in John Lewis and I didn’t like what he had to say at all.’
‘Oh yeah?’
‘He was very critical of you and how you’re dealing with Alice,’ said Sheba.
Lilly was stunned. Jack had been discussing their business in a shop? With Sheba? He barely knew Sheba.
‘The woman he had in tow didn’t help either,’ said Sheba.
Woman?
‘When I say woman,’ whispered Sheba, ‘I should point out that she was half his age and a shit-stirrer to boot.’
Lilly couldn’t speak. Her raw throat had closed up altogether.
‘I don’t know what they’re up to,’ said Sheba. ‘But I wanted to give you a heads-up.’
Lilly ripped open the envelope and dragged out its contents. ‘I know what the bastard’s up to,’ she said.
She slammed on the brakes and skidded three feet in the snow, smacking the pavement outside Jack’s new place. Then she flew out of the car, leaving the door wide open, and hammered on his door with the side of her fist.
He opened it with the look of a rabbit who’d just seen the farmer. ‘Lilly?’
‘You bastard,’ she screamed. ‘You utter bastard.’
‘Calm down now,’ he said.
Lilly held the envelope in her fist. ‘You send me this and then tell me to calm down?’ She waved it in his face. ‘You’re trying to take away my girl.’
Hot tears dripped down her hot face, like they’d been doing from the moment she saw what was in the envelope: a letter from Jack’s solicitor stating that he would be applying to court for custody of Alice.
‘What on earth’s going on, Jack?’ A young woman appeared behind him, slender, in a denim miniskirt and knee-high boots.
‘You?’ It was the bloody copper from Jack’s nick. ‘You and Jack?’
‘Go inside, Kate,’ said Jack.
‘Yes, go back inside, Kate,’ Lilly shouted. ‘This has absolutely nothing to do with you.’
‘I suppose you’ve said the same thing to Harry Piper,’ Kate said with a sneer.
‘Harry Piper!’ Lilly let out a hysterical laugh. ‘I’ve been on one date with Harry bloody Piper, and it wasn’t even that because we got called back to the Grove. Harry has nothing to do with me and my family, whereas you’re planning to play mummy to my baby.’
Kate folded her arms.
‘You’re not denying it then?’ Lilly shouted.
‘Why should I?’ Kate asked. ‘You can’t do it.’
Lilly stepped forward, fully prepared to punch the bitch in the face.
‘Kate, go inside,’ said Jack. ‘Now.’
Kate scuttled away, leaving Jack and Lilly staring at one another.
‘I won’t forgive you for this, Jack,’ Lilly told him. ‘Not ever.’
‘I know,’ he murmured.
She balled up the envelope, threw it at his feet and staggered back to the car. She drove off as fast as she could, but stopped when she got round the corner, opened the door and vomited into the snow.
Gem staggers in to work, Tyler in her arms.
He ain’t hardly slept all night. Coughing and crying, crying and coughing. When Mum still hadn’t turned up by four o’clock in the morning, Gem started crying as well.
‘This is joke?’ Feyza screeches.
‘He was fine yesterday, wasn’t he?’ Gem asks.
They both know full well that he lay down as quiet as a mouse all day long while Gem did eight punters.
‘What if someone calls Social Services?’ Feyza asks. ‘Or police?’
‘Who would do that?’
Feyza shrugs. ‘A customer maybe.’
‘Half the customers in here are the fucking police,’ Gem says.
Feyza takes a step towards Gem. When she speaks her voice is quiet. ‘Don’t give me backchat.’
Gem bites her lip so she won’t cry.
‘You want work here,’ says Feyza. ‘You do what I say, yes?’
Gem nods.
‘Now put baby in kitchen and get ready,’ says Feyza. ‘Lots of make-up. You look like shit.’
Lilly rested her head on the steering wheel.
She was spent. Didn’t even think she had enough energy to get home. Her mobile rang and she answered it on autopilot.
‘Lilly Valentine.’
‘What’s wrong?’ It was Harry. ‘Where are you?’
She looked up and down the deserted street. Doors closed to the elements. Families warm and safe inside.
‘I’m nowhere, Harry. I’m bloody nowhere.’
‘Hold on,’ he said. ‘I’m coming to find you.’
Half an hour later, Harry slipped into the passenger seat and let Lilly sob into his chest. He didn’t say a word while she told him about Jack and Alice. And Kate! He just held her firmly, his arms strong, his breathing rhythmic. When she calmed, he wiped away her tears as if she were a small sad child.
‘You must think I’m a complete nutcase,’ she said.
Harry shook his head. ‘You’re just overwhelmed, Lilly, and that’s not a crime. You need looking after.’
‘I can look after myself.’
‘Of course you can,’ he said. ‘But you’ve been doing it for too long. Isn’t it about time you let someone else in?’
Lilly pushed her hair from her face. Some of the tendrils were wet and stuck to her cheeks. Letting someone in was hard. It made you vulnerable. Was it possible she was ready with Harry? She’d known him such a short time and yet he made her feel so secure.
‘What a pair we are,’ he said. ‘Trouble follows us around.’
‘Has something else happened at the Grove?’
‘Elaine and John have gone,’ he said.
‘Gone where?’
Harry sucked air through his teeth. ‘Good question. They left in the middle of a shift and won’t pick up their phones.’
Here it was then, the answer they’d been waiting for. Foley and Staines were both guilty of the rape on Chloe and weren’t going to stick around for forensics to prove it.
‘I’d better tell …’ Lilly stopped mid-sentence. There was no way she was going to call Jack. ‘The police station is on my way home. I’ll call in and tell them what’s happened.’
Harry pulled her into his arms again. ‘It’s going to be all right, Lilly. It’s all going to turn out fine.’
Gem feels fantastic.
Like she could kill a dragon. Like she could fly through the air. Like she could kill a dragon while flying through the air.
She collapses into a fit of giggles.
‘Calm it down,’ Misty tells her.
But Gem don’t want to calm it down. She wants to feel like this for the rest of her life.
She flicks the lighter and puts it to the pipe, sucking in the smoke.
Woooohoooo …
It rushes through her like a train. No, faster than a train, like a plane. Gem’s never been on one, but she thinks it must feel like this, rushing through the sky, leaving one of them thin white lines trailing behind.
Who would believe that just a few minutes ago Gem was proper sick and tired? She couldn’t see a way past all the shit, what with Mum gone and Tyler poorly. The thought of letting a bunch of old men fuck her made her feel suicidal. When she caught Misty having a rock, she begged her for a try. Now Misty ain’t a bad person, but when push comes to shove she’s a crackhead so when Gem offered good money, she took it.
‘Thing is, Gem,’ Misty tells her. ‘You’ve got to ration yourself with this stuff.’ She takes a greedy puff from the pipe. ‘Otherwise you just end up working to buy more gear.’
Gem nods. She don’t want to end up like them girls on the estate, skinny as twigs and covered in bruises, picking up johns in the street, doing them in the back of a car, then running to the dealer for a hit. All day long, that’s what they do. Smoke, fuck, smoke, fuck.
Gem ain’t going that way. She just needs something to ease it all along.
‘Better get a shift on,’ Misty says. ‘You’ve got a punter.’
Gem finishes the rock. She’s got one of Bill’s mates waiting. Big fat fucker who takes too long. So far, she ain’t tried Misty’s finger-in-the-arse trick, but today she’ll give it a go.
She pulls on a dressing gown to go check on Tyler.
Big Fat Fucker is already here, leaning in the kitchen doorway, sweating like a pig.
Gem flies down the corridor. ‘What you doing?’
He turns and smiles. ‘Hello, darlin’. You pleased to see me?’
‘What you doing?’ Gem pushes past him into the kitchen where Tyler’s sitting up, sucking a lolly. ‘Did you give him that?’
‘What’s up with you?’
‘Did he give you that, Ty?’ Gem asks the baby. ‘Did that man give you the lolly?’
‘Nice man,’ says Tyler.
Gem pulls it from Tyler’s lips and he bursts into tears. ‘Why did you give him this?’ Gem waves the lolly in Big Fat Fucker’s face. ‘What are you after?’
‘Now just hold on here.’
Tyler screams at the top of his lungs.
‘Did you touch him?’ Gem shouts. ‘Did you fucking touch him?’
Right on cue, Feyza appears. ‘What’s going on?’
‘This one’s lost the plot,’ says Big Fat Fucker. ‘She’s only gone and accused me of being a nonce.’
Feyza turns and looks at Gem.
‘He can’t go round handing out sweets to kids,’ says Gem. ‘What sort of man does that?’
Before Gem can say anything else, Feyza has given her a slap so hard it knocks her to the floor.
‘Shut up now,’ Feyza tells her. ‘And shut baby up too.’
‘He shouldn’t even be here,’ says Big Fat Fucker. ‘It’s not right in a place like this.’
‘I know,’ says Feyza. ‘He go now.’