Darkest Before Dawn (29 page)

Martha laughed as Toby shook his head, assuring them both that the wound on his arm had been caused by flying shrapnel and that everything else was just scratches and bruises, and nothing to worry about. ‘And I'm not going to any hospital, young Evie,' he assured her. ‘Your mam's been binding up my knees and putting sticking plaster on my cuts and scratches all my life, pretty well, so I dare say she'll cope with this little lot, no trouble. And I'll be quick as quick in the bath, because that pie smells like heaven and I can't wait to get outside it,' he ended, grinning at Martha.

After supper, Martha cleaned up Toby's various hurts, as she had promised, and then the whole family sat round the table with mugs of cocoa whilst Toby told them a little of what it had been like, waiting on the beaches. When he had finished his brief description, Seraphina remarked that she was glad he and his comrades were home, and hoped that her fiancé would soon follow them. ‘Because the air force won't be allowed to leave until all the land forces are safely away, I don't suppose,' she said. ‘I read in the papers that the air force were protecting our troops as best they could by keeping the Luftwaffe at bay.'

Martha thought her daughter spoke somewhat defensively, and noted the flush which crept up from her neck and invaded her face. She had been ashamed of the coolness of Seraphina's greeting earlier, but now she realised that, at the tender age of almost twenty, Seraphina did not know how to handle the situation. That she was still fond of Toby, Martha never doubted, but she thought it was a sisterly fondness and told her herself that, in all probability, the sooner Toby realised this the better it would be for everyone concerned.

But Toby was staring across the table at Seraphina, his eyes glittering dangerously. ‘Keeping the Luftwaffe at bay?' he said incredulously. ‘Why, we didn't see hide nor hair of the RAF whilst we were on that beach, being bombed and strafed day and night by the Luftwaffe. I don't know where the Brylcreem boys were, but it certainly wasn't in the skies above Dunkirk.'

Seraphina stiffened and deeper colour flamed in her cheeks, but before she could speak, Evie cut in. ‘I dare say you were unlucky, Toby, and it were just your bit of beach that they didn't patrol,' she said quickly. ‘Gosh, I'm tired, Mam. Don't wake me too early tomorrow, will you, only of course I don't want to miss my breakfast.'

Martha watched as the hot colour slowly ebbed from Seraphina's cheeks and was glad when her eldest daughter leaned across the table and took one of Toby's hands in hers. ‘Toby, I'm really sorry I've been such a pig to you,' she said, speaking if anything a little more loudly than usual. ‘We've all been worried about you, me as much as anyone, but I suppose I felt I was being a bit disloyal to Roger because he's still in France, so far as I know – and possibly in a good deal of danger. But you're my oldest friend and – and I'm really fond of you. In fact, you're like a brother to me.'

Toby grinned, but gently disengaged his hand. ‘It wasn't as a brother I saw myself, but I dare say I'll come to terms with it,' he said mildly, and Martha thought, rather sadly, that he was still hoping, whatever he might say.

Seraphina got to her feet and went round the table. She gave Toby's shoulder a small, reassuring pat, then cleared her throat and spoke. ‘I'm dead tired, Mam; I think Evie's right and it's time we were all in bed. Goodnight, everyone.'

As she spoke, she turned and left the room. Martha looked at Toby and saw that his lids were drooping. Poor lad, he had gone through enough for one day, she told herself, guiding him through the doorway and into Evie's tiny slip of a room. She had laid out a pair of Harry's pyjamas on the bed and just hoped that Toby had enough strength left to get into them, since she did not think that Mr Wilmslow would want the clothing he had lent to be slept in. ‘I can see you're worn out, Toby,' she said gently, standing in the doorway. ‘Do you want any help into those pyjamas?'

The young man shook his head and swayed, sitting down hastily on the bed and beginning to unbutton Mr Wilmslow's Sunday shirt. ‘I'll be all right,' he said huskily. ‘And I reckon I'll sleep like a perishin' top; it's been quite a day.'

Martha glanced around the room and saw that Seraphina had put a glass of water and two aspirin tablets on the tiny bedside table, and had lowered the blackout blind and pulled the curtains across. She drew Toby's attention to the aspirins, then bade him goodnight and left him, closing the bedroom door softly behind her.

Evie had dropped into a deep sleep the moment her head touched the pillow but now she found herself suddenly awake, though she had no idea what had roused her. She wondered at first if it had been simply Angie, moving in her sleep, that had disturbed her, but then she heard a most peculiar sound; the sort of sound made by an animal in agony. A long, drawn out wail ending in a hoarse shout brought the tiny hairs on her arm and on the back of her neck prickling erect. For a moment, still dazed with sleep, she could not think where the sound had come from; then she remembered the reason why she was sharing a bed with her sister. Toby had come home from France and was in her little boxroom, sleeping in the small bed, and it was he who had made the terrible noise.

She waited for a moment, but then the noise began again and she slid out of bed and padded across the floor towards the door which led on to the communal landing. She had reached it and was twisting the handle when she heard bedsprings creak behind her. She turned and could just discern Angie, halfway across the floor, and Seraphina sitting up in bed. ‘What is it? It must be an animal, caught in a trap,' Angie said in a husky whisper.

Evie realised that her sister thought herself back on the canal where such things could and did happen. ‘Get back to bed, Evie; I'll rouse Dad and he'll . . . oh, my God!'

‘It's Toby; I think he's having a nightmare,' Evie said. ‘Is it dangerous to wake someone when they're having a nightmare, Angie?'

As she spoke, she had tiptoed across the landing, and soon all three sisters were ranged beside Toby's bed, looking down at him. Because it was a warm night, their mother must have returned, once she knew Toby slept, released the blackout blind and opened the window. Cool air blew into the room and in the dim light, Evie could see the sweat standing out on Toby's pale face and the way his fingers writhed at the sheets, as though he thought himself tied down by them.

‘I don't know . . .' Angie murmured. ‘What do you think, Fee? Should we wake him?'

‘I don't know, either,' Seraphina said tremulously. ‘I think we ought to fetch Ma.'

Evie, however, had no time for such scruples. She ripped the covers off Toby, knelt down by the bed and put both her skinny arms round his neck, pressing her cheek to his. ‘It's all right, it's all right,' she crooned, as though comforting a very young child. ‘Evie's here, Evie's got you safe, Evie won't let you fall.'

‘I don't see why you say that; he's never been in an aeroplane in his life, so why should he be afraid of falling?' Seraphina said, a little sharply. ‘I thought you were going to wake him up.'

Evie turned a fierce look on both her sisters. ‘I don't know why he's upset but I read in a book once that years and years ago, when we were all monkeys, we knew that falling out of tall trees was the main cause of death and it stills frightens us today . . . the thought of falling, I mean.'

‘Oh,' Seraphina said, rather blankly. ‘Do you want me to get Ma?'

But Evie shook her head and continued to cradle Toby, and presently his arm shot out and he clutched her convulsively, murmuring something about the beach and the bombs and the great might of the enemy close behind them. He seemed calmer, however, and snuggled his face into the pillow whilst his breathing, which had been rapid and noisy, quieted, though he still continued to clutch at Evie's skinny little body.

After a few moments, Angie said rather tremulously: ‘I – I think you'll be all right to leave him now, dearest. You've got school in the morning and I think you ought to get what sleep you can.'

Evie gave a tiny, breathless giggle. ‘I'll come as soon as he lets go of me,' she murmured. ‘But no sense in all of us standing about. You go back to bed; I don't suppose I'll be long.'

After some hesitation, Seraphina and Angela returned to their own room, but Evie remained, getting stiffer and stiffer. Kneeling on the cold floor was painful enough, but because her arms were up round Toby's neck all her muscles began to protest, and she soon realised she could not remain in her present position for much longer. Accordingly, she began to try to wriggle clear of Toby's grip, but every time she did so he began to show signs of returning to his nightmare. In the end, Evie hitched herself half on to the bed and curled up on the very edge, murmuring soothingly every time he moved until at last his grip relaxed and she was able to return to her sisters' room, though she left the door open in case the nightmares returned.

Angie had gone to sleep in her absence but Seraphina had not. She was sitting up, looking white and worried and had pulled back the curtains so Evie was able to see her face quite clearly. ‘Evie, listen to me,' Seraphina said. ‘If Toby has another nightmare, you are not to get out of bed, do you understand me? I shall go to him. I've treated him badly but he does understand now that I'm in love with somebody else, so there can be no harm in my restoring our old friendship. I – I mean to write to him when he leaves here, and – and if he doesn't reply, it will serve me right.'

Evie climbed back into bed, trying to prevent her cold feet and icy knees from jabbing into Angela and waking her up. ‘Okay, Fee, and if you don't hear him, I'll wake you,' she said wearily. ‘What's the time? Is it nearly morning?'

‘I heard the church clock chime three a while ago,' Seraphina said, lying down. ‘Provided nothing else happens, we've got three or four hours before we need to get up. Good night, Evie, and – thank you. You're a grand girl, really you are. You don't just look like our Pa, you're kind, like he was.'

‘That's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me,' Evie mumbled sleepily. ‘Good night; you're not so bad yourself.'

Chapter Nine

Toby awoke. For a moment, he could not remember where he was or how he had come there. Then he felt the cool breeze coming through the open window, heard the subdued hum of traffic and remembered. He was safe! He had crossed the Channel and had found Evie – or been found by her – on the station platform and she had brought him back to the flat above the shop where the Todds lived.

Toby sat up on his elbow and looked carefully around the room. This must be Seraphina's bed he was sleeping in. As the eldest, she was bound to merit a room of her own, even though it was so small that it lacked any other furniture except an old kitchen chair and a tiny, home-made bedside table. He saw there was a glass of water on it and two white tablets and realised he was extremely thirsty. He picked up the glass and drained it, noticing as he did so that he was wearing a pair of faded, striped pyjamas which were not his own.

He could hear no sound from the flat itself and had no idea of the time, so perhaps he ought to get up. Even as the thought crossed his mind, there was a gentle knock on the bedroom door, which creaked open very slowly, revealing Seraphina's beautiful face. She smiled shyly at him, then came fully into the room, carrying a mug of tea. ‘Everyone's left the house except me, but this is examination week so I don't have to be in till eleven o'clock,' she said, matter-of-factly. ‘You'll want to wash but there's nowhere in this room to put a washstand. However, I've taken a can of hot water to the room opposite and you can wash in there and then get yourself dressed. The stuff you were wearing isn't good for anything but chucking out and Mr Wilmslow says you can let him have his decent clothes back next time you come calling. When you're ready, you can come through to the kitchen. I'll make you porridge and toast and then I expect you'll want to get in touch with your mam and dad.'

Toby agreed that he would do as she said and she disappeared. Hastily, he drank the tea and went through into the room opposite to wash, but even as he scrubbed something niggled at the back of his mind, something which had happened during the night. He had been having a horrible dream, a nightmare really, and someone had come to him, someone with soft hands and a soothing voice. Someone who had held him in her arms and told him not to be afraid, told him he was safe. He had half opened his eyes, had seen a fair, much beloved face. Surely it had been Seraphina? But then there was also Angie, and though the girls were so different in many ways he knew they were superficially alike; knew, too, that Angie rather liked him – and not as a brother, either, he thought with sudden grim humour. Had it been Angie who had cuddled him the previous night? Yet somehow it did not seem like Angie, who was so timid and shy.

The thought nagged at him, and as he dressed himself in the borrowed clothing – the trousers were a trifle on the long side and the shirt sleeves reached his knuckles and had to be rolled back – he finally decided there could be no harm in mentioning the matter to Seraphina. Accordingly, when the two of them were seated at opposite sides of the kitchen table, eating porridge, he asked her outright. ‘I'm afraid I may have disturbed you last night,' he said rather diffidently. ‘I had some fearful nightmares and I suppose I must have shouted out. At any rate, someone came and told me I was all right, and it was only a dream. Did you come into my room, Fee?'

Seraphina nodded. ‘Yes, I did, but you soon quieted, so don't worry about it.'

Toby felt enormous elation and gratitude. Despite the coolness that had come between them for so many months, she had come to him in his hour of need, had comforted and stayed with him. He knew very well that it had been an act of sisterly affection and not that of a lover, but he could not quite suppress the hope, now that he had gained her friendship once more, that love might follow. After all, he was sure she had loved him once; why should she not love him again? He smiled at her and took her hand in both of his, pressing it tightly. ‘Thanks, Fee,' he said huskily. ‘You don't have to tell me you're going to marry someone else, because I know it. But it's grand that we're friends again. We really are friends, aren't we? Will you – will you write to me? I swear I'll write back, I swear it on my mother's life.'