Darkness Seduced (Primal Heat Trilogy #2) (Order of the Blade) (38 page)

“No.” He made his voice as harsh as he could. “We have one goal: to stop Frank. We do that, you go back to your family and I go back to my life, and we never do that last stage. I’m strong enough to fight the need to consummate the bond, because my need to keep you alive is stronger than anything else.”

“But—”

“Don’t even start, Lily. I can’t take it.” His voice cracked and for a split second, he lost the cold façade he’d erected, and he saw Lily’s eyes widen at the pain she saw on his face. He struggled to regain his control. “You have to let me go, because if you hang onto me, and then walk away later or die because of me...” He closed his eyes against the disclosure it was so against his nature to make, but that Lily deserved.
Only then will I truly be broken.

There was silence, and she laid her palm on his cheek. He pressed his face against it, absorbing her touch. Needing it this one last time.

“That it is.” She sighed and looked out the window. “Just try not to get yourself in a position where I have to kill for you and complete the bond, okay? I’d really love for things to stay the way they are with us and not descend into living hell, you know?”

“No worries.” He rubbed her thigh, offering reassurance. “There’s a reason I’m one of the oldest surviving Order members. I’m impossible to kill.”

Lily raised her eyebrows. “You’ve almost died a couple times since I met you.”

“Almost is everything when you’re talking about death.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as the truck bounced over the rutted road. “Can I ask you something?”

She folded down the lid of the computer. “Sure.”

“How come your magic didn’t rise when we...ah...” He couldn’t revisit the intimacy of their love making. Not yet. It brought to the surface emotions that were too intense for him to be feeling when he was on the edge of battle. “Earlier. At my cabin?” He’d been so into her at the time that he hadn’t even thought of it, but the thought had occurred to him since. He’d nearly driven off the road when he’d realized the risk he’d taken by making love to her when there’d been no one there to stop him if he’d lost it.

“I was thinking about that, too.” Lily hugged her knees to her chest, rubbing her chin on her knees. “My magic doesn’t come on its own. It has to be intentionally called up by me or a Calydon. Most Calydons can’t call it in me if I don’t want them to, though I think you could.”

“I would never do that,” he said quickly.

Lily smiled and patted his arm. “I know you wouldn’t. My point was that I would expect my magic to stay quiet like it did in the woods. That’s more normal. What’s unusual is that my magic came when we were at the mansion, even though neither of us called it. It’s never done that before.”

Gideon rolled that idea around in his mind. “So, what do you think happened?”

She shrugged. “My best guess is that it reacted to the blood ritual and the intensity of our emotions at the time. We were both worried about the Order and Frank coming after me, and we did the ritual to protect me. I think we were both so in tune with the threat to me, that we actually did call my magic, at least subconsciously, because we were working so hard to keep me safe. My magic felt the threats we were sensing, and rose in response. To protect us.”

Gideon considered that. She was absolutely correct about what was driving their connection at the mansion. “Whereas, at my place, there were no threats.”

“Neither of us called it, and the moment wasn’t about danger.” She smiled, her face relaxed and happy. “When we made love, it was just about us and how we felt about each other. It was beautiful and passionate, an expression of all good things, so there was no reason for my magic to be summoned.”

Gideon’s chest tightened again at her description of their lovemaking. Had he really been a part of something that was beautiful and an expression of all good things? Had he really helped create that kind of moment? For a split second, he had hope, this glimmer of hope that maybe there was more to him than he’d always believed, that there was a chance for a life he’d never thought about.

Then he sobered. He was a warrior, a killer, not some angel of beauty. He had to remember that. He couldn’t get lost in some delusional vision that he was something he wasn’t. He had to be a warrior right now. “So, how’s Frank going to try to call it up to free Ezekiel? Is he going to try to force you to have sex with Drew?” He couldn’t get the grit out of his voice at his question.

Lily shot him a slightly confused look at his change in topic, but she let it go. “My power is heightened by sex, definitely. But it’s fueled by earth, music and the Calydon spirit.” She rubbed the brand on her arm. “If Frank influences me again with an illusion, he might be able to call it up, but would it be enough power to make the walls fall?” She shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know.” She looked at Gideon. “If it was with you, it would bring down the walls in a heartbeat. Together, we’re extraordinary.”

Yeah, they were. He agreed with that, and he liked it. “Then we make sure Frank doesn’t get us together.” Hell, what was he saying? He was making damn sure Frank didn’t get Lily at all. End of story. “After we figure out where the rite is taking place, you take my truck back to my cabin and wait it out there. I—”

“No.” Lily folded her arms over her chest. “Gideon, I know you need to protect me, and I’m all for that, but you have to let me fight.”

Yeah, there was no chance of that. “You’re not a warrior.”

“I am. I don’t have weapons like you do, but this is my battle. You need me. My brains. And my magic. And you may need to use me as bait to lure Frank—”

“No!” No damn way would he ever allow that to happen.
Never.

“This is my war as much as it is yours,” Lily continued, ignoring him completely.
“Frank was behind the abduction by Nate, he’s the reason Nate raped me, and he’s still stalking me.” Her eyes glittered. “I will not stand back and hide. I need to be a part of it. It’s my right to reclaim my life.”

“I don’t give a shit. The thought of you—” He shot a glare at her. “It would seriously fuck me up if I let you join us and you got killed.”

She smiled, her eyes softening at his confession. “So keep me alive, then. Let me do what I have to do, but keep me alive.”

He cursed softly and thudded his fist on the steering wheel. She was right. They needed her, but God help him if he let anything happen to her. “You make me want to walk away from my duty. I never thought it would be possible but you do. I want to turn this truck around and drive you so far away that none of this shit will ever find you again.”

“But then Ezekiel would get free and we’d all die anyway.”

His jaw tightened. “But Ezekiel would get free and we’d all die anyway,” he agreed. Damn. He hated logic sometimes.

“So, it’s done.” She held out her hand to him. “Teammates?”

“Soul mates.” Gideon wrapped his hand around hers and held tight. This time, for once in his goddamn life, let him not screw up keeping his
sheva
safe. One. Damn. Time.
Let me get this right.

* * *

Lily’s heart rate accelerated as Gideon pulled onto a sandy road going off into the desert. It was the road that led to Nate’s, and suddenly she could recall with vivid clarity the moment she’d stepped into his house, reeling with shock when he’d grabbed her and she’d realized he was going to keep her—

“Lily.” Gideon’s thumb rubbed over her palm. “You with me?”

“Yes.” She clenched his hand as the truck bumped over the uneven road and Nate’s house came into view.

It was the same brown ranch house, standing so starkly among the harsh high desert scrubs and trees. Her gaze drifted to those tiny basement windows, the one on the far right that had been her only glimpse of freedom for so long. She could see the sunlight glinting off the glass, making it impossible to see the bars over the windows. Her cell.

Movement caught her eye, and her attention jumped back to the front door as it opened. Quinn stepped out onto the stoop, and Kane walked out behind him, his scars so visible in the sun.

Gideon pulled the truck up in front of them, and she felt him reach out to touch his friend’s mind. He didn’t open the car door or turn off the engine.
What’s the status?

Quinn answered.
We haven’t turned anything up, but the team is willing to wait to see if Lily can help them find the information. I’ve convinced Ryland that his bloodthirsty need to avenge Dante’s death will be better served if he actually draws the blood of the enemy instead of simply making it more difficult for Frank and Ezekiel to succeed, and the others are following suit. They’re not planning to kill her at the moment. She’s safe.

Safe. Hah.

Good.
Gideon shut off the engine and kicked open his door. He climbed out and then turned to help Lily get out. For a moment, she couldn’t move. All she wanted to do was have Gideon turn the truck around and drive her away from all of this. What if it was a trap? What if Frank was waiting for her to show up, and then he was going to ambush them? “Oh, God,” she whispered, her hands starting to tremble.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Gideon’s voice was soft, understanding. “We’re all here for you. We won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know.” God, she didn’t want to be controlled by her fear. She had to face this. She had to be stronger than this. “I’m coming.” She released the seatbelt and scooted across toward Gideon’s door.

He gave her an intimate smile, just for them as he helped her out. The moment her feet were on the dirt, he pulled her close and slightly behind him as he approached the two Order members, using his body as a shield to protect her. “What progress has been made?”

“We’ve searched the entire area Lily suggested, and now we’re looking in Nate’s house. We haven’t turned up anything, though.” Quinn’s gaze went to Lily. “We’re hoping you have a miracle in you.”

Lily nodded distractedly, her heart pounding as she looked at the house. A Calydon passed by one of the windows. Ian. He glanced down at her, and nodded. She clung to her memory of him driving the truck that had taken her away from Nate’s. He’d saved her once. He was on her side. See? She wasn’t going to be trapped here again. These warriors were on her team this time, at least for the moment.

“Lily?” Gideon’s voice was gentle and sympathetic, laced with a hardness that made her relax. He was on guard. They were all on guard. “You don’t have to do this.”

“No. I do.” She took a deep breath and headed into the house that had been her own personal hell for two years.

* * *

Gideon kept his hand on Lily’s back as he followed her though the house. Quinn and Kane were trailing behind them, weapons out, senses humming. He knew they were all waiting for this to be a trap, for Frank to send his team after them.

Gideon’s blood was boiling at the thought of what had happened to Lily in this place. He was disgusted that he’d spent two years oblivious that his
sheva
had been trapped. Her scent was everywhere, deep in the carpets from her years of imprisonment. Her blood hummed at him from the walls where it had sunk into the wood. He couldn’t see it anymore, but he could feel it. He could taste it. He could breathe it.

Her terror was soaking into every pore of his soul. His mind was screaming with rage, with the need to destroy, to annihilate Nate, Frank, and the house. To wipe all of them from the earth so Lily would never have to dream of any of it again.

Gideon
. Quinn’s mind touched his.
You’re not going to do any of us any good if you go rogue. It was in the past, and you can’t change it. All you can do is go forward. You have her now.

You sound like Lily.

Then she’s a smart gal. Listen to her.

Gideon looked at his mate, at her blond hair cascading over her shoulders and the stray pine needle still in her hair from their lovemaking on the forest floor. He raged inside for her, for the injustice that had stolen so much from her, and for the brutality that had left her blood on these walls.
I should have known, Quinn. I should have known she needed me.

She needs you now. Be there for her.

Lily stopped suddenly, and her muscles went rigid under his touch.

Gideon immediately called out his axe, and Quinn and Kane stepped up beside him, weapons raised and ready.

She grabbed Gideon’s arm, her fingers digging in.
This is where Nate raped me. This is the room.

Fury spewed through Gideon as he stared into the library. Beautiful mahogany bookshelves, fancy Oriental carpet, a huge oak desk with solid brass fixtures. His gaze was drawn to the floor, and he could see it. Her blood. He knew it was there. Knew that’s where Nate had raped her. He felt his control snapping, spinning away, spiraling out of his control as the room began to take on a reddish glare—

Lily’s fingers slipped into his grasp, her hand shaking and icy cold.
Come inside with me, Gideon. I can’t do it without you.

And just like that, her need for him caged his fury, slamming it back with a force that had him staggering. He gripped her hand tightly, able to think of nothing other than giving her whatever she needed from him. That was all that mattered.
I’m here. I’m with you.