Dating Kosher (24 page)

Disbelieving, I stared at the phone. What had just happened? I’m trying to save my friend from a huge mistake (or was it too late?) and she calls me a bitch and hangs up on me. Putting the phone down, I waited for her to call me back to apologize. I flipped my phone’s address book and found the vet clinic’s number, but didn’t want to be on the phone when Bev called back, so I sat and waited.

And waited.

So I turned on the TV to fill the few minutes until she called back.

An hour later, she still hadn’t called. I picked up the phone to check and make sure it wasn’t dead. Yup, full battery and three bars.

Well, I couldn’t wait any longer; at least I had call waiting. I cleared my throat and swallowed before dialing the vet’s number.

They told me Armani was doing much better but would still have to stay until Monday when I would have to transport him to my own vet for surgery. Surgery. Ugh.

I thanked them and hung up the phone after assuring them I would return Monday morning to pick him up.

I stared at the phone. Why hadn’t Bev called back?

Chapter 25

Indian summer my ass: we were under a full out heat wave. I wiped the sweat from my brow as I jogged, in heels no less, down the busy sidewalk. Why were there so many people on the street when I was in a hurry? By the time I hurried into the spa, it was almost noon, but I had a good reason for being late: my poor, sick Armani.

Forgoing my morning trip to the gym (grr, wish I hadn’t ingested all those high-calorie drinks and foods at the wedding), I picked Armani up at the emergency vet’s promptly at eight as directed. I almost broke into tears when they brought him out in his carrier, tubes coming from him: one to an IV bag for fluids going in and the other to a urine collection bag for fluids coming out. After signing the very hefty Visa slip, (Dad would be getting his rent very late next month, if at all) I put the meowing cat into my car and transported him to my regular vet’s office for surgery.

Once they assured me at the vet’s office that he would be well taken care of, I returned home to get ready for work. I had called Rita to let her know of my predicament and that I was going to be late, so she didn’t say anything about my tardiness when I bolted into the staff room to throw my purse into my locker. She was sitting at the table, eating her daily lunch of a salmon sandwich (keeps the skin supple, she told us regularly) washed down with an extra-large black coffee.

She looked up and smiled, “How was the wedding?”

“Crazy,” I managed, out of breath due to my six block jog from the train. Who needs the gym when you can have parking lot sprint Olympics?

“What happened to your head?” Rita got up from the table and approached me, her face draped in concern.

I had forgotten the bandage. “Nothing, I tripped, just a few stitches.” I tried to downplay my injury so I could get to my desk and start working: I had already exorbitant vet bills that were increasing by the minute. The sooner I could get on the clock, the better.

“Well, you’d better go get Bianca off front desk before she has a temper tantrum, but I want to hear all about this later.” She looked at me over the rims of her glasses.

I nodded and turned to leave.

“Oh, wait. There’s something there for you.” She was pointing at a cellophane-wrapped basket on the counter in the back corner of the room.

Squinting to try to see what was inside, I approached and saw that it was filled with cat themed things: catnip toys, fish flavored treats, a fluffy bed. How strange.

I opened the attached card.

For Armany

Get well soon,

From: a secret admirer.

Meow

I couldn’t help but smile.

* * *

Monday was Bev’s day off from the spa so I had known I wouldn’t run into her there, but I did expect her to have called at some point during the day. By the time I got home that night and still hadn’t heard from her, I began to worry. She must really be pissed to not call me, especially after having hooked up. Although, the way I had called Jacob a loser…

A knot appeared from nowhere and lodged in my throat when I realized just what my problem was: I really
was
a spoiled bitch.

Dropping heavily to the couch, I began to cry.

Phil was right.

Dad was right.

And now my best friend on the planet, Bev, was right.

I looked around for comfort, but Armani was in the hospital. A throw pillow was no substitute, but I grabbed one anyway, clutching it tight to my chest as I sobbed. Was I destined to be alone? Even my cat was gone.

There was only one thing to do.

Pulling a Kleenex from the box on my coffee table, I wiped at my eyes and blew my nose. Willing myself to stop crying, I picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Bev’s voice was strained and harsh.

“Bev, I’m a bitch, I’m so sorry about what I said,” I blurted out, afraid she would hang up on me again if I didn’t start groveling immediately.

Silence.

I continued, “I had no right to make fun of Jacob, and I do hope that you hooked up and that he’s nice and what you’re looking for in a guy and that maybe you’ll get married and have babies and if you do, I guess you’ll be my stepsister, which would be cool and I—”

“He’s gone,” she said, interrupting me

“What?” I’d kill him: no one treats my friends like shit.

“He had to go back to Portland.” Bev’s voice was drier than a martini.

“Oh. Well, I’m really sorry about what I said. I never meant to make you feel bad…I really didn’t, Bev,” I hiccupped, cursing my very unsuccessful attempt at not crying.

There was a loud sigh and then, “I’m sorry I called you a spoiled bitch.” Bev’s voice was mostly back to normal.

“It’s okay, you were right. I
am
a spoiled bitch.” I took a deep breath. “I don’t want to be a bitch, Bev,” I whined, sounding exactly like every Jewish princess I’d ever known. Ugh.

“Aw Shosh, don’t be so hard on yourself, really. It’s not your fault, you inherited it from your mom.”

“No shit. And look where she is! A psycho divorcee in a sweat suit from Wal-Mart! Is that my future? No thanks.”

“Well you’re not crazy and you’re not even married yet, so you’re a long way off.”

“But I’m definitely heading that way…” I sniffed.

“Just stay out of Wal-Mart.”

I laughed as I wiped at my tears. “Okay.”

“Listen, I’m going to come over tomorrow night. I got a new book…I think that it will help.”

“Can’t, tomorrow’s sushi with Mom,” I groaned.

“Okay, Wednesday then. I’d come tonight, but I’ve got my book club.”

“Okay, Wednesday. We’ll get dinner.”

“Great. How’s Armani?”

My eyes automatically darted to the basket Nate had sent for the cat. “He had surgery today. They said it went okay, but he’ll be there for a few days. I don’t even want to tell you what this is costing me, but I’m just glad he’s going to be all right.”

“That’s good. Um, now can I
please
tell you what happened with Jacob before I explode?”

“Yes, of course,” I said.

“Well, we didn’t do it, in case that’s what you’re wondering.”

Really?
“So what’s the news?”

“It just wasn’t about sex, you know. We stayed up all night talking. Okay, so we did fool around a little, but it was more like…I don’t know. We just clicked, you know?”

I didn’t, but
um hummed
anyway.

“I’m so bummed that he’s going back out to Portland, though. Why does the one guy I like and who seems to like me, have to live on the other side of the country?”

I sighed. “I think it’s our luck, Bev. We’re just not meant to have good boyfriends.”

“This sucks, Shosh. I really think I could have something with Jacob. He made me laugh so hard last night my Diet Coke came out of my nose. Do you know how much that hurts?” She laughed.

No one had ever made pop come out of my nose. Even though Bev’s new relationship was doomed thanks to a huge span of geography between her and Jacob, I still felt a pang of jealousy.

“I’m sorry it’s not going to work out. That really sucks, Bev.”

“Yeah well, maybe once he’s done with school…”

We talked for a while longer until I realized how late it was getting. “Listen, I’ve gotta go call my mother before she has an aneurysm. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

I dialed my mother and confirmed our dinner plans for Tuesday night and got rid of her as quickly as I could, citing a dinging oven timer as my reason for having to get off the phone (I was actually shocked she believed I was cooking for myself).

Free of any more responsibilities, I got up from the couch and walked over to where I had put the basket from Nate. I untied the ribbon and opened it up, smiling at his thoughtfulness.

Armani was going to love everything, from the catnip mouse to the treats and even the big plastic toy that looked like a donut with a ball embedded in it.

I just wished he was home and well; I really missed the way he’d cuddle up with me on the couch while I watched TV.

But in his absence, I returned to my couch and turned on the television, hoping a dose of reality TV shows would help to take my mind off the insanity my life had become in just a few short days.

Although I was finally able to relax, I couldn’t help but feel the void in my lap where my beloved Armani should be.

Chapter 26

Tuesday turned into such a busy day at the spa (what with the high holy days coming up and people scrambling to get in top shape to be seen at synagogue) that time flew by faster than I realized. It was only the rumble in my stomach that told me it was lunchtime.

As I looked up at the clock on the wall to confirm the actual time, I noticed a woman walking up to the spa doors. She opened the door slowly and walked into the lobby, wearing anxiety like a mask covering her face. I could tell right away that she was probably not in the right place; she wore faded jeans and a t-shirt with a Guinness beer logo on it.

Forget about the t-shirt, when our regular clients wore jeans (which wasn’t very often) they were always,
always
Armani or another label.

“Can I help you?” I asked the woman, wondering if she had gotten off at the wrong subway stop.

She approached the counter and leaned over, practically whispering her business. “Hi, um I’m here for a massage. I’m Caroline McKay.” By the look on her face, she may as well have asked for an extra painful Brazilian wax.

I stared at her dumbly for a second before it occurred to me that what I was doing was very rude. Looking down at the appointment book, I saw her name written in under Bev’s name. I hadn’t booked her appointment, but when I had seen the name on the schedule, I had assumed she was some WASPy wife of a lawyer who had his office in the neighborhood. I couldn’t have been more wrong. This woman was married, gauging by the wedding band on her finger, but not likely to a lawyer. As far as her age, her ponytail would have thrown off the average person, but as a trained professional, I could tell by the beginnings of crows’ feet at her eyes that she was likely early thirties. Her skin looked not bad, but it was obvious she didn’t follow a stringent skin care regime. This all went through my head in the time it took to blink twice.

“Oh, okay. Um, please have a seat. Can I get you a beverage?”

The woman turned her head to look toward the chairs in the waiting area but then looked back at me. “No, I’m okay.” She passed a white leather (yes, I said
white leather
) purse from her left hand to her right and then took a seat. I barely had time to wonder how she came to make an appointment when the front door opened again. I turned my head to notice Nate walking in and right up to my counter. I was happy to see him, but a little disappointed that he wore his uniform.

“Hi,” he said, leaning over the counter to loom over me.

“Hi, what are you doing here?” I asked.

He nodded toward the woman sitting in the waiting area and smiled at her before turning back to me. “I brought my sister. She’s here to use the gift certificate I bought her.”

Now it all made sense. I felt like I’d solved a Rubik’s cube; she was his sister.

“Oh, that’s cool.” I fought the urge to take a better look at her to see if there was a family resemblance.

“Can you get away for lunch? I have to wait for Caroline anyway.”

I thought about the alternative to going for lunch with Nate: sitting in the staff room, eating a half a can of tuna with some diet crackers. But how could I go out with him and sit across from him at a restaurant when he was wearing his work clothes?

He seemed to pick up on my hesitation, though probably not why.

“Aw come on, Shoshanna. You still owe me for my flawless performance the other night.” He smirked, not taking his eyes off mine.

How could I resist? Before I had the chance to answer, Bev came up to retrieve her client who of course, just happened to be his sister.

“Oh hi, Nate,” she said on her way to greet Caroline. “Thanks for getting our resident lush home safely Saturday night.”

“My pleasure, at least she’s not a rowdy drunk.” Nate’s smile widened.

“Hilarious, Bev.” I wasn’t thrilled to be reminded about my embarrassing overindulgence.

Nate winked, reassuring me that he didn’t think any less of me.

“Go do your magic on my sister, Bev, I’m taking Shoshanna out for lunch.”

Bev looked over at Caroline, who was still sitting poker-straight in her chair, looking as uncomfortable as I was the first time my mother took me to the gynecologist. Bev walked over and stuck her hand out. “Hi, you’re Nate’s sister? I’m happy to meet you, I’m Bev and I’ll be doing your treatment today. Come on back with me and we’ll get started.”

Caroline got up out of her chair and cast a glance at her brother before following Bev toward the treatment room.