Dating the Guy Next Door (14 page)

“Because it's not different. Not even close, and if you can't understand that, then I feel sorry for you.”

***

She wasn't the only one. By the end of the afternoon Matt was feeling pretty sorry for himself as well. Not only had he
spent an exhausting day with the twins, but he'd arrived home to find no messages from Kate and that his house looked like a bomb site.

“Never again,” he swore as he vacuumed away the sea of pretzels that was covering his carpet. He wasn't quite sure if he was referring to drinking, babysitting or general living, but as the words came out of his mouth, he was convinced he meant it.

Last month he thought his biggest problem was whether to order pizza or Chinese on Friday. Well, that wasn't strictly true; he had been concerned about starting a family. But he never in a million years thought it would be so complicated. After all, he organized things for a living. Why was this so hard?

He'd worked out that most of the women he'd been dating didn't want kids. Fine, that made sense and so he'd crossed them off his list. Then he met Kate and it was perfect. After all, anyone who'd seen the mess in her studio could tell you that even though she was a businesswoman, she wasn't like the ones he normally met.

He allowed himself a slight smile as he thought about all the things she was: gorgeous, funny, sexy, loving. She was perfect. Yet she didn't want kids either. His smile was quickly replaced by a frown. Mind you, Kate's reason was a little more complex than others he'd heard. The pain in her voice as she'd told him about her baby brother had been raw and broken and Matt had suddenly felt very humble.

He'd also felt totally inadequate to help her.

“What's all the racket?” Keith's straggly head appeared from the bottom of the stairs.

“What are you doing here?” Matt pressed a lever on the vacuum, making the retractable cord whip back toward him like a piece of spaghetti.

“Thought you might need some cheering up after the earful Emma no doubt gave you. So I have some good news for you.”

“What?” Matt said cautiously.

“I logged back onto the Stop the Clock competition and found you the perfect woman. Rachel. And you're going to take her to dinner.”

“Have we not been over this numerous times?” Matt blinked as Keith strolled over to the kitchen and helped himself to a beer.

“Yes.” Keith took a noisy slurp. “And each time it's become more and more apparent that you need Dr. Love's help. I'll call you tomorrow with the details.”

“No,” Matt tried to say, but Keith had already taken his beer and headed out the door. All the same, Matt clenched his fists in annoyance. There would be no blind date and there would be no happy acceptance of the fact that he and Kate couldn't be together.

He might not agree with Emma about his decision to have babies, but he agreed that he needed to talk to Kate again. He marched to the counter and snatched up his car keys. Now all he had to do was find Kate and let her know that he wasn't
giving up. Not ever.

Kate pushed aside the sketch she was working on and patted Socrates, who was curled in a ball in the crook of her arm. The orange tabby had totally settled in and didn't seem to have any problems sleeping in his new home. However, Kate wasn't finding things quite so easy and the last four days had been hell.

Still, the bonus of being caught in sickening heartbreak was that she could throw herself into her art, and as well as completing four more sketches, she'd spent the afternoon onsite with Monica Peterson to arrange the scaffolding she would need to start on the mural tomorrow. The only thing she still needed to do was go back to her gallery and collect some of her art supplies and clean clothes. She'd gone there two days ago to meet with Bernie and inspect her new ceiling but had ended up bolting when she'd caught sight of Matt's red car turning onto the street. The hurt look in his eyes had almost been her undoing and she hadn't been back. Nor had she answered any of his calls.

The irony wasn't lost on her that the one place that had acted like her oasis was no longer available to her.

She sighed and was just about to resume her sketching when Julia poked her head in the room to let her know that dinner was ready and that tonight she wasn't taking no for answer.

“Okay.” Kate tried to muster some enthusiasm as she got to her feet and followed her out to the kitchen. For the last five days Kate had stayed in her room, unable to face the questions that she knew her mother would eventually ask, but it was obvious by Julia's tone that her free pass was over.

“I made your favorite.” Julia pointed to a large tray of sushi. “Okay, so I didn't make it, I picked it up at the store.”

“Thanks. That was really nice of you.” Kate felt strangely touched that her mother had gone to the trouble. Especially when she knew that Julia wasn't a sushi fan. Then she narrowed her eyes as she realized her mother's porcelain skin was blotchy and pale and for once she looked her age. She frowned. “Is everything okay?”

“Actually.” Julia began to fiddle with the tube of wasabi paste. “Th-there is something I need to speak to you about. But I think you might want to sit down.”

Kate just stood and stared at Julia's pale face and smudged eyes as she recalled all the messages her mother had left for her. Now that she really thought about it, Julia's voice had been sounding high-pitched and agitated. Kate really hadn't paid too much attention because she'd been too busy falling in love with an unsuitable man.

What was Julia about to tell her? That she was sick? That she was moving? That she was going to become a backup dancer in a Vegas show? With her mother, anything was possible.

She dropped into the nearest chair. “Okay, I'm sitting.”

“Yes, you are.” Julia reluctantly put down the wasabi tube and joined her at the table, not quite making eye contact. Kate's stomach contracted as she watched her mother take a deep breath. “There's something I need to tell you and I'm pretty sure you're not going to like it. But, Kate, I want you to know that I understand that it's okay to be upset and freaked out.”

Definitely Vegas dancer.

Or she wanted Kate to move out.

Kate gulped. “Julia, it's okay. Remember when I was young and you used to tell me to pull the Band-Aid off quickly? Well, you need to pull the Band-Aid off.”

Julia's face flinched as she finally looked up, her eyes guarded and her mouth twitching with nerves. “Right. The thing is that I'm pregnant.”

Pregnant?

Kate opened her mouth and then shut it again.

Pregnant?

As in having-a-baby pregnant?

She rubbed her eyes, but when she opened them again her mother was still sitting there, nervously inspecting her fingernails.

“Okay.” Julia finally coughed. “Like I said, I know it's a lot to take in, so why don't I let you sit here and process it, and—”

“No,” Kate managed to whisper as a thousand questions crowded into her mind, all jumbled up and desperate to spill out. “I don't need to process it, I just need to understand what's going on. How could this happen? You're forty-three. How can you be having a baby at forty-three?”

“Believe me, no one's more surprised than I am. Well, apart from Phillip,” Julia said with a shy smile. “He's the builder who did all the renovations for me when I first opened the store. We've been dating for the last two years now and he wants to marry me. He's been away in California on a job but he'll be back next week. I'd like you to meet him.”

“Phillip?” Kate choked back the hysterical laughter as her voice turned into a shrill screech. “There's a Phillip? I've been here for five days and you failed to mention that there's a baby and a Phillip?”

“I know.” Julia got to her feet and began to pace. “You have no idea how long I've wanted to tell you. But you never returned my calls and then when you came into the store you were so happy about the commission so I thought I would give it a few days. Then you kind of fell off the face of the earth until you suddenly turned up here and it was obvious you and Matt had been in some kind of argument. I'm sorry.”

“After everything that we've been through, I just can't believe this is happening.” Kate rubbed her brow and leaned back in her chair. All the sorrow she'd been feeling had now transformed into disbelief. And maybe some anger. For Andy, for the year that Julia had suffered a breakdown and Kate had been sent to her grandmother's house, with no warning, no explanation.

Was Julia trying to say that none of that mattered anymore?

That it hadn't happened?

“Katie.” Julia stopped her pacing and put her hand on Kate's shoulder. “I know this is difficult. Especially after Andy,
but I just want you to know that I'm okay with it. Happy, even.”

Happy?
Kate recoiled as she jumped to her feet.

How could she be happy about something that was only going to end in heartbreak and despair? Kate's throat tightened and her pulse throbbed.

“Nope. I'm sorry, but I can't do this again. I just can't.” She began to pace the room. It was too much. Far too much. First Matt and now Julia? Was she the only one who could see that the world had turned upside down?

“But you're not the one who will be doing it, I will be. And I know there are challenges to having a child at my age but then, there were challenges when I had you too.”

“That's irrelevant.” Kate stopped her pacing and shook her hands, hoping it would take away some of the terrible sensations that were racing through her body. “You're having a baby and that child will end up being my half brother or sister. Don't you see you're forcing me to be involved with something that I swore never to be involved with again?”

“Kate. Please—” her mother started to say but Kate refused to listen. Instead she raced for the door, stopping only long enough to get her car keys and the first jacket she could grab from the hook. “Where are you going?”

“I just need some air. I—I need to go,” she stammered as she fled out the door. Unfortunately, it wasn't until she had climbed into her van and began to drive that she realized she had absolutely nowhere to go.

Not to her gallery. Not to Julia's house. Nowhere. She'd always known she would end up alone, but this was taking it to a whole new level.

Except she couldn't stay where she was, so without knowing why, she found herself back at the sculpture park. What was it about the stark steel creations that acted like a witness for her pain? She pushed away the tears as she pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine as a hundred unanswered questions crashed through her mind.

How could Julia allow herself to get pregnant? Not only were there numerous added health risks for Julia and for the baby, but there was also Andy. How could she go through it again? Or put Kate through it? The agony of waking up to a lifeless body.

It was too much.

It was like she was being cracked open from the inside.

She put her hands over her eyes and cried.

***

Matt walked out of the sushi restaurant where they'd gone on their first date. Unfortunately, it was completely Kate-free and he reluctantly ticked it off the long list of possible places she might be. His original plan had been to call Kate's mother and beg for a five-minute audience. However, after managing to find the number in the white pages, Julia had answered and told him that Kate was out and hadn't said where she was going.

Hence why he had spent the last four hours driving around Seattle looking for her. At least it had given him plenty of
time to practice his speech. Actually, make that speeches. He'd decided it was best to have three different versions, depending on what kind of mood he found her in, but all of them involved lots of begging and groveling and ended in the idea that if they were together they could figure out a solution.

A way for them to both have what they wanted.

He was sure it was possible as long as they were together.

Except for the fact that he couldn't find her.

“Where is she?” He glanced to the fragile origami swan that Kate had made on their first date. He'd saved it after he'd done his magic trick and while it was a bit crushed, right now it was the closest thing he had to her. “Because if you know, you should tell me.”

The swan didn't answer and Matt frowned as he turned left past the sculpture park that Kate had taken him to on their fourth date. Their fourth date. Why had he forgotten to add this to his list? He blinked as he looked at the swan again. Was this a sign?

The car behind him blasted its horn as Matt swung the car around and doubled back, but he ignored it as he turned into the parking lot and was rewarded by the site of Kate's old van. Never had he been so happy to see that rust bucket, and it didn't take him long to park two spots away from her.

He wasn't much of a believer in receiving help from the universe, but if this wasn't a sign that he was meant to find her and convince her that they could have a future together, then he didn't know what was.

Adrenaline surged through him as he patted the swan for good luck and climbed out of his car. This was his chance to make it all right. To convince her that they could make it work.

“Kate.” He tapped on the driver's window and then took half a step back, mainly so that he didn't scare her. “I've been looking everywhere for you and I really need to . . . Hey, are you okay?”

“M-Matt?” She wound down the window and everything Matt had been about to say dissolved in his mind as he stared at her. The skin around her eyes was red and puffed and the rest of her face was drawn and pale. “This isn't a good time. C-could we do this later?”

“What's wrong?” he said, trying to hide the panic in his voice as a dozen scenarios raced through his mind. Had something happened to her mother or one of her friends? Her cat? Or worse, was this because of him? Had he made her like this?

His mouth went dry.

“It's nothing. I don't want to talk about it.” She shook her head and pinched her lips together as if she was fighting back the tears. Never had Matt felt more helpless in his life. But he also knew that there was no way he could leave her sitting there alone.

“Okay, no talking,” he said as he opened the door. “I can do silence.”

“What?” She blinked as if seeing him for the first time. “Matt, I don't think that's a good idea.”

“And I don't think that leaving someone crying in a parking lot at nighttime is a good idea either,” he said in a light
voice to cover the barrage of emotions that were racing through him just from being so close to her again. And despite the tear-stained face and strange old coat she was wrapped in, she'd never looked more beautiful. “Please, I just want to make sure you're okay.”

“Fine.” She nodded, and Matt let out the breath he didn't know he was holding as he climbed into the passenger side. As soon as he shut the door behind him, his senses were overwhelmed with Kate smells. Vanilla, chocolate, paint, roses, all somehow combined to tug at his stomach and make him long to reach out and touch her. Instead he studied her profile. She was leaning so far forward he couldn't see anything but the curve of her neck as her hair fell around her face. He longed to push it back and study her eyes. To see if he'd done this.

“Kate, is this because of me? Because if it is, then I am so sorry. I never—”

“No.” She finally looked up at him. The red smudges beneath her eyes glowed in the fading light and her full mouth was soft. “It's not you.”

“So what, then?” he said, not sure whether to be relieved or confused. “How can I help? What can I do?”

“I'm afraid that even a great fixer like you can't do anything.” She dropped her shoulders as if the fight had gone out of her. “Julia's pregnant.”

Matt widened his eyes as he tried to process what this meant. He knew that Julia had had Kate at a young age, which meant her mother was probably in her early forties. Not ideal, but not unheard of, and . . . Andy.

His whole body stiffened.

Julia was having a baby after what had happened to Kate's younger brother. He let out a silent gasp as he looked at her face, like he could suddenly see the roller coaster of emotions that she was experiencing behind her tear-laden eyes. It had been painful enough for her to tell him what had happened, but it was obvious that she was now reliving it all again.

He also knew that there was absolutely nothing he could say to make her feel better. How could there be when he hadn't gone through any of that? Yet the urge to help was overwhelming and before he could stop himself he reached over and wrapped his arm around her. He half expected her to push him away, but instead her entire body leaned into him and, despite the awkward space, he pulled her as close as he could as gigantic sobs racked her body.