Daughter of Chaos (2 page)

“I just thought—I know you haven’t chosen yet, but I wanted to ask you something.” His eyes were serious, and I couldn’t look away from his warm gaze.

It had been bad enough breaking up with him once; why did he have to keep making me fall for him all over again? I tried to reel in my emotions, but I felt my neck starting to flush. Sitting beside me, Rochelle stopped drawing in anticipation of something. I wasn’t sure what she was waiting for, so I focused on Justin.

“If you ever wanted to, well, I mean, if you ever thought about—” He floundered, but I couldn’t bear to help him. If I spoke, I was afraid I might say something I’d regret.

He took a deep breath and went on. “You know that Whites and Greens can intermarry.” He paused as he glanced for the first time at Rochelle. “But a Black is forbidden from marrying at all. I just wanted you to think about that before you make your own choice.” His final words came out in a rush, and I exhaled quickly. My heart spun through my body like a yo-yo, and I struggled to keep my face blank.

I nodded once, curtly, and then turned my attention back to my recently finished hex, studiously avoiding meeting Rochelle’s eye. Justin sat there, uncomfortable for a moment, before reaching over to squeeze my upper arm in parting. My skin tingled at his touch. I listened to the door click shut behind him, and my calm demeanor cracked.

“Prick.” Rochelle spat the word as if she had just tasted poison.

I shrugged and forced a smile. “He’s just excited about his declaration.”

She laughed sharply. “And he’s clearly still in love with you.” Rochelle looked at me, her dark eyes piercing my soul. “Why in the world did you break up with him?” Her mocking tone annoyed me, and I shrugged again, even though my heart started to pound. No one knew how I still felt about Justin, and Rochelle would be the last person I’d confide in. She hated him too much to ever understand, and she thought that I did, too.

“It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”

***

“Red.” I don’t know if I spoke the word or only thought it, but it was obvious from her stunned reaction that Hecate had heard me.

“Red.” I croaked a little more firmly, even though I had no idea what I was saying. “I choose to follow Red magic.” Oh, boy, how would the goddess in front of me react to that? I’d said the first thing that popped into my mouth, but I knew there was no such thing as Red magic. Nervously, I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms and waiting for her to chastise me for my insolence.

The punishment I was expecting never came. Instead, there was a crash of thunder outside, and the power flickered on for one blinding moment before the lights went out again. A threatening chuckle filled the air.

“Girl, you have bound yourself with your words, but I wonder if you know exactly what you are now tied to?”

Mutely, I shook my head, and she cackled. Her hand shot toward my face, and I flinched. The goddess ran her fingers through my hair, tangling it more than it already was. I tried not to jerk away from her, but my scalp crawled.

“A Red with red hair. It is fitting.”

I stared at her, too surprised to speak. What did my hair have to do with anything? And did that mean there really was a thing called Red magic?

There was another crash of thunder and the goddess stepped away from me. “You will learn all things soon. But you are bound by your choice. Remember that later.”

The lights flickered on spasmodically, and the goddess vanished.

Part of me wanted to believe that I’d just had a dream, not an actual visitation from the most powerful goddess on earth. I was shaking and cold all over as I made my way up the stairs to my room. Not caring about the mess, I crawled into my closet and sat on the floor, hiding under my clothes. Trying to still my heart, I took three deep breaths, holding the air in my lungs a beat before exhaling.

Red magic. What in the world was that? I’d never heard of anything but Green, White, and Black. They were the balanced triad of crafts taught at my school, Trinity. Did Red magic even exist? Hecate’s laughter filled my ears, and I began to feel hot and panicky. I crawled out of my closet and reached for my cell phone, but I didn’t call anyone. I thought about it; I was freaked out by her visit and by my impulsive declaration, but when I picked up the phone, the first person I thought of was Justin. I so wasn’t ready to go down that road.

Justin and I had dated a few months ago, and it was intense. I’ve never dated a Non, and he was my first boyfriend, period, so I don’t have anything to compare it to, but dating a powerful Witch was a mind-bending experience. Kissing him literally created sparks. It was like holding a hot wire while eating candy: dangerous, sweet, and strange. He still seemed to have feelings for me, but I had a hard time believing it after what had happened in the woods the last night we were together.

***

I’d planned everything. We’d left the prom early to drive around, and I wasn’t ready to go home yet.

“Why don’t we sit down by the river?”

He glanced at my black dress. “Are you sure that’s okay?”

“Of course! It’ll be a romantic way to end the night.” I slid as close to him as the bucket seats in his mother’s van would allow and put my hand on his arm. He shivered, and my heart sped up with anticipation.

We didn’t say anything when we got to the park, and when I pulled a cheap bottle of champagne out of nowhere, I saw his eyes go wide. Magic can’t make something out of nothing, and I wasn’t about to tell Justin that I’d stolen the bottle from the convenience store the day before prom and stuck it in his mom’s car. It was better if he thought I was powerful and mysterious.

We sat on the muddy bank of the river and took our shoes off. I leaned against his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his skin through the thin fabric of his dress shirt. He’d left his jacket in the car. The bubbles from the champagne were flat, but they still made me tingle. Or maybe that was simply my reaction to Justin.

When I leaned over to kiss him, I tasted wine on his lips. He laced his fingers through my hair, and I pressed my body against his, gradually pushing him back until he was almost lying down. Water gurgled beneath us, and when I looked down into his face, I couldn’t read the emotions flitting across his eyes.

I closed my eyes and leaned forward for another kiss, but Justin turned his head to the side.

“What’s wrong?” I tried to make my voice sound husky, like an old movie star, but I suck at glamouring. A skilled Witch should be able to change her voice or appearance at will, but this was one spell I’d never been able to master.

Justin looked up at me and frowned. “Did you just try to use magic on me?”

I shook my head. “What makes you think that?”

Gently, he lifted me off of him and set me to one side on the bank. “Don’t lie to me, Lena.”

“It was just a little glamour. I wanted to make you want me as much as I want you.”

He reached his hand out and cupped the side of my face. “You don’t need magic for that.”

Eagerly, I leaned forward again, but he pulled back.

“I think we should slow down.”

I stared at him for a minute. My cheeks were hot, and I was glad that he couldn’t see how embarrassed I was in the darkness. “Why?” My voice sounded whiny, and I winced.

“We’re young. There’s no reason to rush into this.”

I forced a laugh. “You sound like a stupid Non.”

“Lena, you know I love you.” He leaned toward me, but I pulled away and stood up.

“No, I don’t. If you loved me … ” I trailed off, trying to get my emotions under control.

“There’s more to love than sex, Lena.”

“But I want you.” I hated myself as soon as the words were said, and I turned away from the river and began walking fast. I couldn’t bear for him to know that he was the one thing that made me vulnerable; Justin had often teased me about being unstoppable.

“Lena, wait!” I heard him scramble to his feet behind me, but I didn’t look back. I sped up and whispered a spell to keep him from catching up to me. I walked all the way home, ignoring the stars overhead as I listened for his footsteps. But at some point he must have stopped following me, because when I turned onto my street, I was alone in the night.

I didn’t cry that night, but the next morning when Justin didn’t call, I dissolved into embarrassed tears. We broke up after that, sort of. I never actually told him I didn’t want to see him anymore, but I started ignoring him at school. He took the hint and stopped pestering me, but over the summer, he had started hanging around again. Not like a boyfriend, though; I assumed he wanted to try just being friends. I didn’t have the energy left to tell him that every time I saw him smile, I felt a knife go through my gut.

So we tried to be friends. After the strange thing with Hecate, I really wanted to call him. I started to dial his number, but then I felt a bubbling of blame. If that night in the woods had ended differently, I’d still be with Justin and none of this would have happened. When Hecate had appeared, I probably would have declared Green, to please him and my parents. My face felt hot, and I thought about how he’d let me down. I scowled at my phone and dropped it to the floor. I put my arms around my knees and dropped my head down, curling into a tight ball. The events of the evening replayed again and again in my mind, and I shuddered.

A thought flicked through my mind that filled me with anxiety. What would my parents say when they got home? Would they even believe me?

***

At dawn, I woke in a sticky sweat, visions of a blood-washed field still fresh in my memory. I thought there had been a castle in the distance, and the sound of strange chanting, but all I remembered for sure was the blood. I took a long, hot shower, trying to cleanse myself of the awful night. Mom and Dad were both already at work when I left the house, and I was grateful that I didn’t have to talk to them about Hecate just yet. I’d almost managed to convince myself that the whole thing was a twisted nightmare. Why would the Queen of Witches bother asking me to pick a path? And even if she did, why would she allow me to choose something that didn’t exist? I was almost cheerful with my delusion as I walked to school.

Passing beneath the ancient arch, I laughed to myself. Our school gave every appearance of being an old, private Catholic academy: ivy-covered walls, Gothic arches everywhere, and even that name, Trinity School.

It certainly was a private school, but we weren’t Catholics. Trinity ran all year, offered a full curriculum, and consistently sent students on to some of the best universities in the country, but in addition to standard courses, Trinity offered training in Witchcraft. Most of the students were legacies, Blood Witches like me whose parents had attended in their own time. Every now and again a Dreamer would make it in. Dreamers were those with magical talent but no magical heritage. Trinity quietly recruited Dreamers from central North Carolina, the area immediately surrounding the school, and due to the large number of people who had moved here in recent years, my graduating class boasted a record number of five Dreamers. Rochelle was one of them. Costs to attend Trinity were high, but the alumni were fairly active and money never really stood in the way of a student who sought admission there.

I hated everything about it.

My parents were both Green Witches, and they had met at Trinity when they were teenagers. Dad managed a research company in Raleigh and Mom was in charge of various community projects. Her latest crusade was creating a community garden in our city, Durham, and she and Dad both traveled easily among Witches and Nons. They assumed I would have the same easy time of it, but schooling at Trinity had only made me feel more isolated. I hardly trusted Blood Witches or Dreamers, so what made them think years of private school would enhance my trust for Nons? I couldn’t wait to graduate and leave home. I didn’t have any kind of future planned, but I knew I couldn’t be the kind of Witch my parents expected. I guess the previous night proved that.

I hurried toward my first class, suppressing a yawn. The night before had been pretty awful, and the nightmares I’d had after seeing Hecate kept me from getting much sleep. I’d have to try extra hard to stay awake for classes, but the topic written on the board when I walked into my history class made me want to drop into a coma right then and there. Magical Ethics. Could Ms. Minch pick any topic that was more boring?

Rochelle rolled her eyes at me as I slipped into my desk beside hers in the back corner of the room. “Can you believe it’s another ethics lecture?”

Trinity was always trying to remind us to be good little Witches, and frequent ethics lectures popped up in every class. The ethics of alchemy, the ethics of magical literature, even the ethics of gym class. I shook my head at Rochelle. “If we haven’t figured out how they want us to act before now, I doubt this lecture will be much help.”

She nodded, examining her fingernail. “I’m getting really sick of these stuffed shirts telling me how to handle my magic.”

Before I could respond, Ms. Minch rapped on her desk with a ruler. I dragged my eyes to the front of the room, and I heard Rochelle sigh loudly beside me.