Daughters (4 page)
Authors: Florence Osmund
Claire’s expression took on a sudden change. “Just what threats were made against Jonathan?”
What had brought Jonathan and Marie together in the first place was when Richard threatened to expose Jonathan. Two months had passed since that threat, and nothing had happened, but Marie and Jonathan knew it was just a matter of time before something did. While Marie took Richard’s threats seriously, she also didn’t want to alarm Claire, who apparently was hearing this for the first time.
“Oh, nothing specific. I shouldn’t have worded it that way.”
Jonathan jumped into the conversation. “As I told you before, Claire, we all think he may expose the fact that I fathered an illegitimate child and try to ruin me, my family, and my business. And now that Marie has told us more about what he has done in the past and how he thinks, I’m thinking that even more.” He turned toward Marie. “I had house alarms installed on all the windows and doors a couple of weeks ago. Don’t let me forget to show you how they work.”
Claire let out a decisive sigh. “Well, I’m getting tired. I think I’ll go to bed. You two stay up and continue talking if you want.” She walked to the other end of the living room, and without turning around said, “I’ve heard enough for one night.”
Marie waited until Claire was out of earshot. She gave Jonathan a helpless look.
“It’ll take time. Just be patient and give her time.”
“I can’t seem to say anything right.”
“Just be yourself. You’ll be fine.”
Marie sighed. “I think I’ll go to bed too. It’s been a long day.” She got up and headed toward the bedrooms. “Good night, Dad.”
“Good night, sweetheart.”
Lying in bed, Marie mentally relived every moment of her visit, until a tear made its way down her cheek and onto the pillowcase. She feared tomorrow was going to be an even longer day.
The next day, one by one, Jonathan and Claire’s children, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren arrived for supper. Melvin resembled his father the most: tall, light-skinned, and built like an athlete. His wife, Yolanda, had thin facial features and light skin but was unmistakably a Negro. Jonathan’s twin sons had softer, broader features, darker skin, and were a good four inches shorter than their younger brother and their father. Marie was grateful for Arthur’s mustache; otherwise, even though they were fraternal twins, she would have had a hard time telling them apart.
At dinner, Jonathan sat at one end of the long table and Claire at the other. Marie had been shown a seat between the older of Melvin’s daughters and Arthur, the twin who practiced law on the south side of Chicago. Marie was pretty certain her place at the table had been discussed beforehand.
Marie struggled to appreciate all the conversation and interaction at the dining room table. Jonathan must have noticed and shot her a comforting look periodically throughout the meal. Claire appeared to be enjoying herself more now that her “real” family was all around her, or at least that’s what went through Marie’s mind.
The chatter of supper conversation was casual and alive. Occasionally Marie was brought into the fold, usually by Jonathan. A couple of times Marie made eye contact with Claire, and when she did, Claire gave her a smile that exuded “I’m only smiling because I have to.” Marie smiled back but not without difficulty. All Marie hoped for was a cordial relationship with Claire. If she didn’t have at least that, she knew her relationship with Jonathan would be tenuous at best.
Marie glanced over at Melvin a few times while they ate, but he appeared to be preoccupied with something on his plate, or on the other side of the room, or anywhere but in Marie’s direction. His conspicuous silence during the meal added awkwardness to the already shaky environment.
After supper, Jonathan lit a fire in the massive fireplace in the living room and turned on the phonograph. Count Basie’s piano blues should have created an easygoing atmosphere in which to talk, but Melvin’s silence and Claire’s indifference toward Marie prevented that.
Everyone listened attentively while Jonathan talked about the book he had recently read. “Keep in mind,
Nineteen Eighty-Four
is just science fiction, but still it makes you think about what it would be like if we lived in a society under the watchful eye of a Big Brother government. No freedom. Back to a slavery of sorts. Pretty bleak.” He continued to explain to his wide-eyed family members what totalitarianism was all about. Marie and others in the room cringed when Jonathan cited the book’s three slogans of the government: War Is Peace, Freedom Is Slavery, and Ignorance Is Strength.
When he finished talking about the book, Melvin’s eight-year-old daughter, Denise, who had been fidgeting the whole time her grandfather had been talking, stared at Marie and then asked her mother, “So who’s this white lady again?”
The room grew silent. “She’s your aunt, Denise,” her mother said. “She’s family.”
Jonathan scanned the room and smiled. “Maybe now would be as good a time as any to get all the questions out of the way.”
With the exception of Melvin, each family member took turns asking Marie questions about herself. Melvin, whom the family called Tré since he was the third born, listened but kept to himself throughout the evening. Marie noticed he didn’t even make eye contact with his father except for a fleeting sidelong glance once or twice. By the looks on everyone’s faces, Marie could tell she wasn’t the only one feeling the tension in the room caused by Melvin.
Toward eight o’clock, Melvin and his family talked about leaving. The girls had school the next day, and it was getting close to their bedtime. Melvin left before anyone could say goodbye, mumbling the entire way out the door. After saying a quick good night, his daughters marched out after him. Yolanda hugged Marie and whispered, “Don’t mind him. He’ll come around.”
Marie gave her a questioning smile and hoped she was right.
Before breakfast the next morning, Jonathan suggested he and Marie take a jaunt on horseback around his 380-acre ranch. The day was sunny and uncharacteristically warm for November. They walked through the fresh morning dew to the barn, leaving a trail of soggy footprints behind them. Jonathan saddled his favorite gelding for himself and a gentle mare for Marie. They kept a slow pace and talked as they rode.
Marie couldn’t help but notice how relaxed he sat in the saddle, like he was sitting in his favorite easy chair. She smiled to herself when he started talking more about her mother. She liked hearing him talk about her.
“When I saw her at the Central Union Club that day in 1923, I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest.” He paused for an instant. “I have to explain something to you, something I alluded to earlier in the car.” Jonathan shifted his weight to one side of the saddle. “Claire and I love each other very much, but if truth be told, our marriage has always been one of convenience. Before we met, we were both outcasts when it came to personal relationships. With our light skin color, no one wanted us, and we both knew that. When Zach threw us together, it didn’t take us long to realize we could at least have each other.”
That explained a lot. Not only did Jonathan have an affair, but he had had it with someone he loved, and Claire in all likelihood knew that. It wasn’t just an affair. It was his love story. She could only imagine what was going through Claire’s mind.
“And so Claire and I got married, and we took care of each other.” He sighed. “I don’t regret one thing about our marriage, but to be honest…” Something blissful flashed through his eyes. “I was so in love with your mother.” He looked at Marie in a way that told her more than words ever could have. She played with the coarse mane of her horse, lost in thought.
“What are you thinking, Marie?”
She shook her head and then met his gaze. She blinked several times to fight back the tears. “You say you don’t regret one thing about your marriage. But do you have any regrets about my mother?” she asked in a low, tight voice.
“Your mother was and will always be the love of my life,” he said quietly. “I’m telling you things now I’ve never told another living soul.”
“I know.”
“Look, I’ve been with only two women my entire life, and I’ll turn fifty-nine next month. Had it not been for your mother, Marie, I would never have known what it is to be in love, really in love, and I’ll be eternally grateful to her for that. Was it right to have an extramarital affair? No, of course not. But I don’t regret it.”
“Why did it end?”
Jonathan stared into Marie’s eyes several seconds before responding. She could tell this was a difficult conversation for him. “Right or wrong, I couldn’t risk being exposed when she got pregnant with you. I…uh…had to think of Claire, my children, my business. I weighed everything very carefully. At least I thought I did. It was probably the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life.”
They rode a couple of minutes in silence. Jonathan gazed down for several seconds and then said, “I handled it the best way I could. I don’t know. Maybe some would say I took the coward’s way out. But keep in mind, I had Claire’s best interest at heart too. Now that might sound odd coming from someone who had cheated on her, but I worried what would happen to her if we were to separate.”
“If my mother hadn’t gotten pregnant, would you have continued seeing her?”
“Probably.”
Marie gave her horse a gentle nudge with her heels to get her moving faster, ahead of Jonathan, ahead of the echo of his last word, ahead of the pain.
She stopped her horse when she reached the far corner of the property, Jonathan twenty yards behind her. “I know what you’re thinking,” he said when he caught up with her.
“Are you sure?”
“You’re thinking if it hadn’t been for you, your mother would be here now—alive and happy.”
“Something like that.”
“If it hadn’t been for your mother, Marie, I wouldn’t be here with you now—alive and happy.” He waited for a response but got none. “C’mon, let’s head back.”
The drone of horse hooves meeting the ground was the only sound that broke the silence while they rode back to the barn. They dismounted their horses. Marie turned to her father and asked, “Did you ever regret not having me in your life?”
He shook his head. “Maybe not at first.” He stared down at the dirt floor of the barn for several seconds before meeting her gaze. “But when I saw that first picture of you and looked into those big brown eyes of yours, well…I just wanted to hold you and tell you I loved you.”
“But you didn’t.”
Jonathan shook his head. “No, I didn’t.” Marie waited for more. “Did I regret that? You’re damn right I regretted it. Maybe I made poor decisions in the past, Marie, but I promise you, you will be a part of my life from now on.” He put his arms out and embraced her. “I
want
you to be a part of my life.” He took a step back from her. “Are we okay?”
Marie cleared her throat of emotion. Discovering the strength of a father’s hug was incredible. “Yes, we’re okay,” she said. “But I don’t think Claire and I are okay, and that’s bothering me.”
“Give her time, sweetheart. She needs time right now.”
Later, after a hardy breakfast of blueberry pancakes whipped up by Claire, Jonathan suggested to Marie that they go into town so he could show her around. As they drove the short distance to downtown St. Charles, Jonathan told her a little of the town’s history. “It used to be called Charleston. Not sure why they changed it. The interesting thing about this town is that it helped slaves to freedom on the Underground Railroad. There is a well-known runaway slave woman named Joanna Garner who settled here. Some of her family still live here.”
“Is that another reason why you chose here to live?”
“That may have been a small part of it. The main reason, of course, was to escape the bigotry that was so prevalent in the South. There were other factors too. I liked the diversity here. But the real reason I’m here is there was plenty of open land for my horses. Cheap land.”
They drove down Main Street past the Hotel Baker. “I thought we’d eat there. The hotel has an interesting history. I’ll tell you about it over lunch.”