Davina Dupree Predicts a Plot (2 page)

Before Erica could ask what the bother had been about, Mrs Fairchild stopped trilling and said,

‘Good evening and welcome back to Egmont, my darling girls. I hope each and every one of you had a good half term. Helicopter and jet drop off was a
little
more organised than last time, but please do remind your parents to steer clear of the flower beds to the south of the hockey pitch. Someone’s helicopter landed on them this afternoon and the gardener was so upset I had to give him the rest of the day off.’ She stopped and gave a little chuckle. Lottie looked at me with wide eyes, so I leaned towards her and whispered,

‘Most girls here get dropped off by helicopter or private jet, although there’s a few that come by train, car and taxi.’

‘My mum drove me here in her Vauxhall Astra,’ Lottie said, looking pale.

‘As you know,’ Mrs Fairchild went on, her eyes staring at each pupil in turn, suddenly looking less amused and more piercing. ‘This term is going to be an extra exciting one because the first years are going to be putting on a fantastic play with the help of Hollywood director, Alfie Calpone, and singing and dancing coach Stephania Sellwig. It will be a chance for their artistic talents to shine, not just on the stage but also off it, helping to prepare the scenery, props and general production.’

Lottie leaned towards me and whispered,

‘First years? In my old school we were called Year Sevens.’

‘Mrs De Nero our drama teacher will welcome Alfie and Stephania when they arrive at our school tomorrow afternoon,’ Mrs Fairchild said, beginning to dance the foxtrot as a murmur of excitement went round the dining hall. Cleo and Clarice immediately snapped open their pocket mirrors and began inspecting their faces before getting out their pocket hairbrushes. Honestly, they’re so vain. It’s not like that director will whisk them off to Hollywood or anything, is it? ‘And I trust you will also make them feel welcome and above all, learn from their expertise.’ Mrs Fairchild stopped talking and twirled on the spot until the excited chatter had died down.

‘A quick word of warning.’ She went on. ‘These two highly trained professionals have argued quite publically in the past, but I’m assured that now they are able to work together calmly which is good because they are the best in the business, so really hope the play will come together peacefully and harmoniously.

Just one last thing,’ she said as Cleo and Clarice sighed loudly and pretended to be asleep, rude girls. ‘Several first years’ mothers have kindly offered to stay with us from now until the end of the play, to help make some sensational costumes, so I would like you to welcome them to our school please.’ Everyone clapped.

I looked round and saw a table full of mothers absolutely CAKED in makeup, wearing expensive suits, with brightly painted nails on the ends of their fingers that clasped fluted wine glasses. There was one small girl sitting next to the woman at the end, who had her finger up her nose.

‘That’s Hippolyta, Clarice’s little sister,’ Arabella whispered loudly. ‘She must have come with her mum, Mrs Blinkham. Obviously as charming as her big sis.’

‘We call her
Polly
for short, not Hippolyta,’ Clarice, who’d overheard, hissed at Arabella.

So now we’re back in our dorm after a day of lessons, doing some homework, although I can’t really concentrate. Alfie Calpone and Stephania Sellwig are supposed to be arriving in a little while and…well...it’s exciting! I’ve never met anyone famous before…

Oh. My. Goodness. Diary!

Never in all my life have I EVER seen such a fuss and commotion as when Alfie and Stephania arrived yesterday. Never!

Oh for goodness sake, where do I start? Well, I was just finishing a history essay about Henry the Eighth, he was certainly a THOROUGHLY UNPLEASANT king, when all this screaming started outside. At first I wondered if Mrs Fairchild had bumped into someone in her Rolls Royce (she’s not a very good driver and has flattened the gardener’s prize roses twice) but then I heard chants of, “Alfie, Alfie”, through the screaming.

Arabella and I literally pelted out of our dorm, along the corridors and out of the massive front doors to find complete chaos in front of us. There was a sea of Egmont girls dressed in glittery pink and white uniforms, bobbing around six long, black shiny cars that had pulled up in the crescent drive.

Cleo and Clarice were suctioned to the sides of the first car like leeches and it was them screaming, “Alfie, Alfie”. Someone inside the car was trying to get the door open but they couldn’t because Clarice’s body was blocking it. In the end the head girl, sixth former Rosalie Arbunkle, who was looking a bit flushed herself, had to peel Clarice away from the car like a banana skin and drag her over to one side.

The door crashed open and a small man who seemed to be made entirely of round, polished curves, got out. He was bald on top except for a fringe of hair round the base of his head and wore an expression like Carrie’s friend’s pug dog – sort of jowly and displeased.

‘That’s him,’ Arabella whispered. ‘That’s Alfie Calpone. He looks shorter in real life.’

‘Yeah, yeah, hello to you all and all that,’ Alfie shouted, eyebrows lowered, no trace of a smile. His voice was deep and rough, as though he’d just eaten a ton of gravel. ‘Now can someone tell me where I can get a drink around here? And can you girls move out of my way so my people can unpack my luggage? We need some space so move back will you.’ Well! How incredibly
unappealing.com
. It’s a good thing Carrie’s not here or she’d have given him a loud piece of her mind for arriving like that, famous or not.

At that moment our drama teacher, Mrs De Nero, came floating round the corner. Mrs De Nero reminds me of a human butterfly, she has long, wavy white hair that wafts out behind her wherever she goes, and she always wears loose, patterned scarves, tops and trousers that seem to flap like butterfly wings when she moves. She went up and kissed the unsmiling Alfie on both cheeks then escorted him off to his luxury, guest apartment, while his ‘people’ dragged suitcase after suitcase out of the six cars.

‘Is he moving in forever?’ I whispered to Arabella in wonder and she grinned back, shrugging. How can anyone have that much stuff? Some of the cases and bags were labelled with stickers that read, “Alfie’s make up”, “Twenty different flavours of tea for Alfie”, “Alfie’s yoga mat”, “Alfie’s favourite pillow” and “Alfie’s hair dye”.

‘Didn’t think he had much hair left to dye,’ Arabella said, nudging me.

The crowd was breaking up, with Cleo and Clarice looking offended, probably because Alfie hadn’t recognised their Hollywood potential in the few moments they were lying across his car, when there was a tinkling sound and a bike came zooming down the drive.

‘Is that Stephania Sellwig?’ I asked, squinting.

‘Yes I think so,’ Arabella said, as the tall, graceful lady dismounted and removed one, small backpack from her bike. ‘She looks much more normal than that Alfie chap, don’t you think?’

‘Hello girls,’ Stephania said in a lilting voice as she swept towards the front door, golden hair wound round her head in an intricate plait. ‘It’s
so
lovely to meet you, I can’t
wait
to see what talents you all have when we start the auditions tomorrow. Your teacher, Mrs De Nero, sent me an email saying to come and find her when I got here, so I’ll go in search of her now. See you soon.’ And with that she hopped inside and disappeared, Cleo and Clarice following her like two little puppies.

So now we’ve got lessons all morning and auditions all afternoon. Aggghh! I’ve never acted in front of anyone in my life and Arabella is absolutely insistent that we both audition, just to annoy the bullies if nothing else. Oh WHAT am I going to do?

Surprising news, Diary.

Yesterday afternoon I felt like digging a hole and sitting in it quietly until the auditions were over, but Arabella didn’t let me. Honestly, she’s
such
a fiery red head! She came and found me in the library, where I was trying to hide from her behind the biggest stack of books, unsuccessful
plan.com
, and frog-marched me to the Grand Hall.

I had to admit the hall was looking utterly fabulous. Apparently Mrs Fairchild had hired a team of professional designers over the half term, who’d completely transformed the hall from somewhere we have assemblies and sit exams to a West End standard theatre. It now has a proper high stage with a drop down red curtain, stacks of blank scenery leaning up against the back wall that has to be painted by us pupils, loads of boxes of props and even a trap door in the stage floor.
Wowzers.com
. The designers even put new rows of seating in. soft red chairs that step up higher and higher towards the ceiling, with pairs of red binoculars for the seats far from the stage.
So
cool.com
.

Alfie and Stephania were sitting several seats apart from one another on the front row and Mrs De Nero was perched on the side of the stage. Melody was reading from a script when we got there. She’s really good at acting and she wants to be a famous actress when she grows up so I hope she gets a good part.

I saw a whole pile of scripts on one of the seats and the sight of them made me want to be sick. They were titled, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. Arabella stepped forward and grabbed a couple, shoved one at me, then thumbed through the pages of hers excitedly. I couldn’t look at mine as I was trying not to faint.

‘I don’t even know what “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” is about,’ I muttered.

‘All I know is it’s by the playwright William Shakespeare. Don’t worry, they’re bound to explain it to us when rehearsals start,’ Arabella said over her shoulder.

There were only two first years ahead of us in the audition queue, and of course it had to be Cleo and Clarice. Clarice’s mum, Mrs Blinkham was also there, dolloping bright red LIPSTICK (for goodness sake!) on to her daughter’s face.

‘Speak clearly, darling,’ I heard her whisper loudly. ‘Alfie’s bound to recognise your star quality if you draw enough attention to yourself.’ Hah! Clarice’s little sister, Polly, was galloping along rows of seats, pretending to be a horse, stopping to pick her nose every now and again. I didn’t see Mrs Blinkham look at Polly ONCE the whole time we were in the Grand Hall, she seemed too busy worrying about getting Clarice a one way ticket to Hollywood. Honestly, that little girl could run out of the hall and her mother wouldn’t even notice.

When Melody had finished her turn, Cleo climbed up onto the stage and read her script very quietly, mumbling into her sleeve.

‘Not such a big shot now, is she?’ Arabella whispered with glee.

Then it was Clarice’s turn, her mother fussing over her all the way to the stage. Even though Arabella would never admit it, Clarice was actually quite good. She was playing the part of Helena, who was apparently in love with someone called Demetrius. She read the words confidently and even got carried away and did some actions. When she’d finished to ecstatic applause from her mother, Alfie called out,

‘Who’s next?’ I was nearly sick, thinking it might be me, but then…

‘Oh me, me, me!’ Arabella ran to the stage and jumped up. She then COMPLETELY astonished me by putting on the most marvellous acting performance I’ve ever seen. Honestly, she was no longer Arabella, but BECAME someone called Hermia, who was apparently in love with a bloke called Lysander. It seemed like Hermia’s dad wanted her to marry Demetrius not Lysander, but I could tell from Arabella’s acting that Hermia REALLY didn’t want to.

By the time she’d finished, Stephania was on her feet clapping, and even Alfie had a half smile on his face. Cleo, Clarice and Mrs Blinkham, however, had twisted up faces like they’d been sucking on a batch of very strong lemons.

‘You were much better than her, darling,’ Mrs Blinkham said loudly to Clarice. Yeah right, I thought. Not likely. I walked up to the stage, plucking up my courage, because I’d just had an idea.

‘Wasn’t Arabella amazing?’ I said to Alfie, who just stared back, giving nothing away. ‘Look, I was going to audition, but to be honest I really don’t want to as I’d much rather be a stage hand, and help paint the scenery and things. And anyway, I wouldn’t want to be the next to audition after Arabella’s performance.’

Arabella looked at me crossly for a moment, then her freckly face broke into a grin. She nodded in agreement.

‘What’s your name, kid?’ Alfie said, reaching down for a clipboard and pen. He wrote my name under “Stage hands”, then Arabella and I raced back up to our dorm while one of the twins, Moira, climbed on to the stage to say her piece.

After dancing round the room all evening yesterday, Arabella had a total mood crash this morning and is now lying under her duvet with her face in the pillow, really worried that she messed up her audition. NOTHING I say seems to make her feel better, not even the offer of one of my dark, cherry chocolates that Carrie sent. Oh I DO hope she gets a good part. Stephania said the character list should be going up later today. SO nerve
wracking.com
…

A bitter-sweet success, Diary.

Well, there’s good news and bad news. The good news, well fabulous news, is that Arabella has been given one of the main parts – hurrah! The bad news is that she has to act opposite Clarice, who’s also been given a main part. And guess what – they have to act being in love with each other! It would almost be funny if Arabella wasn’t so utterly MAD about it. Arabella is going to play Hermia and Clarice is going to play the boy’s role of Lysander, because we don’t have any boys at our school to take those parts. Another bit of good news is that I’ve been made the head stage hand, which I’m really very pleased about because I can concentrate on painting the backdrops without worrying about lots of people staring at me on opening night, which would be TOO freaky for
words.com
.

Melody, the twins and Hannah all have main parts too. Lottie is a stage hand, and Erica didn’t bother auditioning for anything, lazy thing. Cleo has a small part in the play, apparently she’s going to be a wall, which I’m sure she’ll be very good at because sometimes, trying to get through to her IS like talking to a brick wall. Good
casting.com
.