Day by Day (13 page)

A
knock at the back door outside of the workroom in Grandmother’s Kitchen startled Judy, interrupting their chocolate party, and from the way Ginger and Barbara also flinched, they had been startled, too.

Barbara looked at the half-eaten plate of chocolates and smiled. “It’s probably the Good Grandparent Police who have come to arrest us for being bad role models for our grandchildren,” she teased. “More likely, it’s just an ordinary delivery. This won’t take long.”

Judy watched Barbara leave and open the rear door to the shop. When she saw Fred Langley, the police chief, standing outside, her heart sank and she exchanged a worried glance with Ginger. “Should we leave?”

“No. It’s probably more news about the investigation. I can’t believe it’s dragged on this long without the police making an arrest. Barbara might need us to stay, unless Fred comes inside. Then we’ll leave.”

Judy checked her watch again. She had less than half an hour before she had to be at the Towers. “Okay. Let’s see what he does.”

Barbara sagged against the door frame for a moment, then straightened, stepped back, and let Fred inside.

Taking this as their cue, Judy and Ginger stood up simultaneously.

After Fred followed Barbara into the workroom, Judy took the lead. “Hi, Fred. Ginger and I were just leaving. Call me later, Barbara, and let me know what day is good for you.”

Before she took a step to leave, Fred cleared his throat. “I’m afraid I need you to stay, Judy,” he murmured. “I’ve been trying to find you. Fortunately, I ran into Doris Blake. She said she saw you headed into the store here. I would have come in through the front, but with what Barbara’s had to go through lately, I thought it might be better to use the back door rather than spark more gossip. I’m glad you’re here. I got a call about an hour ago from California. I have some news for you about your daughter.”

When Judy’s knees buckled, she plopped back down into her chair. Her heart raced straight to triple beats as she braced herself to hear the news he had brought—news that would probably break her heart, one way or another.

Drug rehab. Halfway house. Overdose. Hospitalization.

All these were familiar terms Judy had heard before, and she prayed she would not hear the one word that had fueled her deepest fears the moment she saw the chief of police: fatal. As hard as it was to live with her daughter’s battle with drugs, she lived with the hope that her prayers would one day be answered and Candy would be able to
beat her addiction. If not, if the drugs won the final battle, all hope would be lost.

When Barbara and Ginger offered to leave, Judy insisted they stay. “Bad news won’t seem quite so bad if you’re here,” she whispered. After they sat down with her, she took a deep breath and nodded to the police chief who had been on the force as a patrolman when Candy had been in high school. She had no secrets to hide from him, then or now. “Tell me what happened to Candy. Is she…is she still alive?”

He pulled over the chair from Barbara’s desk and sat down with them in front of Judy. His expression was somber, and his gaze was caring. “As far as anyone knows, yes, she’s alive. The call I got came from a halfway house outside of San Diego. It seems Candy had been there for about three weeks when she just up and took off. That was last week. She didn’t have any next of kin listed, so when she didn’t come back, they just packed up her stuff. She didn’t have much, but they found a picture of a little boy. On the back, there was an address. No name. Just an address. They tried checking information under her last name and when they came up empty, they contacted us. We checked the address, so here I am. I know it isn’t much, but at least you know where she was up to a week ago. Where she is now is anybody’s guess.”

Washed with relief, Judy blinked back tears. “San Diego. Did…did they say if she was…how she was doing before she ran off?”

He shook his head. “They wouldn’t tell me, but my guess would be that she was keeping herself clean. If she was using drugs again, they would have made her leave.”

“Only if they knew she was back on drugs. She’s really good at deceiving people,” she whispered. She closed her eyes for a moment and shut out painful memories of the past filled with one recovery attempt after another, all of which failed to make Candy stronger than the addiction that ruled her life. When she opened her eyes, she met his gaze and saw her own fears reflected in his eyes. “The reality is that she’s probably using drugs again. That’s why she left the halfway house. She’s done it before. She’ll probably do it again, and she’ll keep doing it until one day the drugs will take what’s left of her life.”

He dropped his gaze. “I’m sorry. I wish I’d had better news.” He stood up, pushed his chair back to the desk and faced her again. “Is there any chance she’s headed home to Welleswood?”

Her eyes widened. “Here? I—I don’t know. She wouldn’t come to see me, but she might come to see Brian.” Her hands balled into fists, and her protective instincts stiffened her backbone. “If she’s using drugs, I can’t let her anywhere near him.”

He nodded. “We’ll keep a lookout for her. Just to be safe, though, you might want to contact the school. Let them know you’re the only one who can take him out of school.”

“I think I did that when I registered him for school.”

“Double-check. If she does show up here and starts trouble, call us,” he said before he let himself out the back door.

Ginger leaned toward Judy. “What about the locks on your house? Does your daughter have a key?”

“I—I don’t know. Probably.”

“I can call the locksmith for you,” Barbara suggested.

Judy shuddered. “This is all so…bizarre. Keeping Brian from his own mother. Notifying the school. Changing the locks. It’s like I’m caught up in the middle of a made-for-television movie. I get to live on pins and needles worrying about keeping him safe while Candy is probably in some faraway place, too high to remember she even has a son.”

“You don’t know that for sure. Maybe she’s clean now,” Ginger argued.

Judy clenched and unclenched her jaw. “Clean? For how long? Long enough to come to take Brian away again? Then what?” She remembered the picture Brian had drawn at school and shook her head. “I can’t let her take him. I won’t let her take him. Not until I’m sure she’ll stay off drugs for good and he’ll be safe.”

“You might not have a choice,” Ginger murmured.

“She’s his mother. If she can convince a judge she’s off drugs, I don’t think there’d be much chance you could keep custody of him.”

“Candy could convince a judge, then she’d take Brian out of the area again so the court, or me, for that matter, wouldn’t know if she got back onto drugs.”

“You need a lawyer,” Barbara announced. “I’ll call mine and see if he can—”

“Lawyers and locksmiths cost money,” Judy argued. The anger and bitterness she had kept buried the past few months reached deep into her heart and rekindled the old hurt and anger from all the years she had struggled, watching her daughter’s addiction and self-destruction. The harsh reality that Frank was no longer here to help her, either emotionally or financially, was almost too much to bear. “The lawyer and locksmith would have to stand in line
behind the plumber who just fixed the toilet Brian clogged with his toothbrush and the credit card company that I owe for the new refrigerator I had to buy this morning. Brian will need winter clothes soon, and I already worry all night about how I’ll pay for them. I’ve had it up to here,” she snapped and hit the edge of her chin with the back of her hand.

“It isn’t fair. Not to me and not to Brian. It’s just one constant struggle for us, and in the meantime, his father is living a carefree biker’s life in Florida and his mother is wasting her life away. I’m the one who has to pick up the responsibilities that belong to them and put my own life on hold, again and again.”

She narrowed her gaze. “It isn’t fair, and I’m tired of pretending any more than I’m perfectly content to raise my grandson. I’m so angry at Candy, I could…spit.”

When the echo of her angry words faded, Barbara took one of Judy’s hands. “No, it isn’t fair to you or to Brian, but just imagine where he’d be without you,” she murmured as she stroked the back of Judy’s hand.

Barbara’s words touched Judy’s heart and her anger abated. Tears of shame filled her eyes. “I’m sorry. I—I didn’t mean to shout or to let my frustrations or my anger get the best of me.”

Ginger took her other hand. “You have every right to be frustrated and angry and afraid. I feel that way, too, probably more often than I’ve been willing to admit, even to myself. It’s hard pretending and putting a smile on my face, when inside I’m angry with the way my life and my future has changed. I’m even angrier with my daughter. Lily isn’t addicted to heroin or cocaine, but she’s hooked
on money and status. They’re her drugs of choice, and I’m deeply ashamed of her for abandoning her son, too.”

Judy blinked back her tears and squeezed Ginger’s hand. She was grateful to know she was not the only one who struggled with anger at her situation. When she looked at Barbara, however, she felt nothing but shame. “I’m sorry. We must seem very petty to you, getting angry with our children when you’re mourning the loss of your son. He was a good father. He didn’t abandon his children like our daughters did.”

Barbara let out a sigh. The two women on either side were connected to her, hand to hand and heart to heart, creating a circle of strength she needed desperately. She covered Judy’s hand with her own. “No, he didn’t, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been angry with him, because I have been. Sometimes I still am, for completely ridiculous reasons. Why was he so dependent on using ATM machines? He didn’t get cash out once a week. No. He’d stop every day or every other day to get a few dollars.”

She shook her head. “Maybe it’s a generational thing. People his age don’t seem to plan ahead like we do, but maybe if he had taken out more money the day before, he wouldn’t have been there when that gun was fired and he’d still be alive. Or maybe he should have listened when we talked to him about marrying Angie. But, no. He insisted she was the one he wanted to have as his wife, and she wanted to live in the city where life was more exciting. If he’d bought a house here in Welleswood…”

She smiled. “I told you it was irrational for me to get angry. And it’s foolish for all of us to let thoughts of what could have been threaten what we have now.”

“Or to think we can do this without God’s help,” Judy added.

“Amen,” Ginger murmured. “I know He’s watching over all of us, but it’s our grandchildren who really need an extra dose of His love and protection right now.”

“Amen,” Barbara responded as their conversation turned into an impromptu prayer. “We need help to let go of our anger and disappointments…and forgiveness for the times when we can’t.”

“Amen,” Judy replied. “Our daughters need Your strength to turn away from the world and choose a life of faith as His children.”

“Keep my son close to You in Paradise. Amen,” Barbara whispered.

“Amen.”

“Amen.”

They all let go of one another, but Barbara urged them to join hands again. “Oh, and if You can, we need a locksmith and a lawyer for Judy,” she added, lightening the mood before they let go of one another again.

“You forgot to say a cheap locksmith and a cheap lawyer,” Judy teased.

“How about free?” Ginger asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

Judy laughed. “Free is even better, but not very likely.”

“No, but you could barter for their services,” Barbara suggested. “I saw some ads in the town paper just the other week. There’s actually a separate column in the classified section where people can barter their services.”

Ginger nodded enthusiastically. “That’s right! Like, you could offer to cut or style hair in exchange for new locks for your house.”

Judy cringed. “It’s a nice idea, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable placing an ad like that in the paper.”

“Then go in person,” Ginger urged. “Tyler is a security consultant. He works with Al Smith a lot, and we socialize as couples. We go to a lot of baseball games together. Al’s a good locksmith, and he’s a member of our congregation. I think he’d do it.”

“I don’t know.”

“No, you don’t. Not unless you ask him,” Ginger argued.

The thought of going to the locksmith to barter for services instead of paying for them was about as appealing to Judy as eating a raw egg. “I’ll think about it.”

Barbara smiled. “I’m sure I’ll be talking to our lawyer within the next few days. I’ll mention the idea in general. If he’s receptive, I’ll let you know.”

Ginger reached out and took another piece of chocolate. “Time will tell. Who knows? This time next week, you might have new locks and legal advice, all without spending a dime.”

“Time?” Judy checked her watch and groaned. “Oh, no. It’s two forty-five. I’m going to be late,” she cried and got to her feet. “The last thing I can afford to do right now is to miss an appointment with a client. I’ll have to go back to the salon later to get the baked goods. I’m sorry, ladies. I really have to run.”

After giving Barbara and Ginger a quick hug, she snatched one last piece of chocolate to eat on the way and hurried out the back door. Twenty minutes later, she arrived at the Towers where she found Mrs. Reisch, her first appointment, in the office at the counter getting a receipt for her rent.

The elderly woman apologized profusely. “I’m so sorry. I hope you haven’t been waiting upstairs for me all this time.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s rent day and Patricia isn’t here to help.”

Judy met the harried office manager’s gaze and smiled at her client. “No, I just got here. I’m just running behind today.”

“You’re not the only one. Let’s go upstairs. I’ll make us a nice cup of tea and then we’ll see about getting this mop of mine back under control.”

When Penny, the office manager, handed Judy her canvas bag from behind the counter, Judy told her she would be back later with the baked goods. Then she followed Mrs. Reisch upstairs to her apartment.

“Poor Miss Damm. She passed, you know,” Mrs. Reisch murmured as she unlocked the door to her apartment and stepped inside. “She lived next door to me for seven years, not that I’ll miss her much. She kept pretty much to herself.”