daynight (44 page)

“I know how you feel about Blake. But how do you feel about Ethan?” she asks. I look at Ethan, who has covered his face with his hands, he’s so embarrassed, and then back at Vienna Darcton. “You came to him when you had problems with Blake. Spent the night here. Are you toying with his affections?” Why does it not surprise me that Brad Darcton got Cleaved to someone as blunt as he is? As invasive as the question is, it’d be a valid question from any parent—whether or not they are members of the Ten.

“I think it should be obvious to all of you, Ethan included, that Blake and Ethan share my affections. How could they not? Both have fathered my children—babies you’ve impregnated my friends with. Both are candidates to be my Cleave and ‘Father’ of Future Thera. I’ve spent considerable time under stressful circumstances with each of them,” I say. “So it’s only natural that I have feelings for each of them.”
 

“What?” Ethan says, his head whipping around to me and then to his father. “How come I’m the last one to know about this? Babies? Surrogates? Cleaving? Father of Thera? Explain!” Oops. Did I let the babies out of the lab? Shame on me. At least I’ll have someone to talk to about it now. If Brad doesn’t Exile me on the spot.

“Son, why don’t you and your mother discuss it in the garden while Kira and I finish our talk.” His mother forcibly pushes Ethan from the room. I mouth ‘sorry’ to him.

“Well played, Kira,” Brad says. “I never give you enough credit.”

“Sorry. I figured he knew about your Grand Plan, since you felt like you could openly discuss the rest of my life in front of him,” I say.

“Is it true that you have feelings for both Blake and Ethan?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say. The exact nature of those feelings may differ, but there’s no need to mention that, particularly when the balance seems to be continually shifting.

“How do you plan to reconcile that?” he asks.

“I thought you planned to do that for me,” I say. Didn’t he make it clear that I have no choice in the matter?

“And you will abide by whatever the Ten decides?” he asks.

“Yes—with the caveat that if Jared or Blake are harmed my loyalties could fade,” I say. “Let me be blunt. You know Blake is being forced to help his father. And he has every reason to do so given his precarious upbringing. Given his circumstances, I ask you to consider this when making a decision between Exile and death. One night his father could push him too far. Or if the Exilers fail as expected, he may see the error of his ways.”

“We shall see if you can keep from slipping sensitive information to Blake like you did to Ethan,” he says, appearing to be deep in thought. “Now run along home and try to explain to Love #1 why you didn’t come home last day and I’m going to go help mop up the mess you created for me with your Love #2. Be at SCI headquarters promptly at 2200 hours Thursnight. I’d like to show you and Ethan something.”

“What?” I ask.

“It’s classified, but I promise you’ll enjoy it,” he says.

“The last time kids my age showed up at headquarters they got Cleaved,” I say.

“True, but that’s not my plan for
Thursnight
,” he says with a smile. “Go home. Perhaps Jared will be there by now. You should be there to celebrate the terms of his release.” That’s all the motivation I have to leave. I’d like to say goodbye to Ethan, but Brad makes it clear that’s not going to happen. So I change into my dry clothes and head home.

I can hear his drawl
the moment I enter my house.

“Jared,” I yell. I run into the living room and am a little confused when I see not only Jared, but also Blake and his sister, Leila. “Hey, you’re out. Thank goodness. How was training? You okay?” Jared has a guilty look on his face. Leila’s stroking his arm in a fashion that seems a little too intimate for my liking. She’s pretty, I think, but she and Blake don’t look much alike. She’s got long, straight dark hair, but small hazel eyes in contrast to Blake’s large emerald ones.
 

Jared responds with a half-cocked grin and, “I’m all trained. I never thought I’d get done, but then Brad Darcton came by yesternight with an interesting proposition for me. After weighing the alternative, I accepted.”

“What proposition?” I ask, glancing over at Blake, but he won’t even look at me.

“Kira, I’d like you to meet my Cleave, Leila. We did the whole Cleaving ceremony and feast at headquarters, and then they gave us a house a couple doors down from you,” he says. “We came over as soon as we, uh, made everything official.” Leila kisses him on the lips and both Blake and my eyes go wide. They apparently waited for me to arrive to drop the bomb. They Cleaved my little brother to Blake’s little sister? Can the Ten be Exiled for disregarding their own Canon?

“The kitchen. Now,” I scream. I don’t wait for him to obey, yanking him along with me. “You agreed to what?”

“It sounded a whole lot better than a bullet through my brain, Kira,” he says in a whisper. “I’m fine with it. Leila’s cool and you’re right that it’s better to go with the flow than face the consequences.”

“Uh huh,” I say, pacing the kitchen. My brother—Cleaved. At sixteen. Insanity. Brad Darcton gave him the option of a bullet in the head or Cleave Leila. If I maintained any hope of a future that didn’t involve Thera or the SCI, it just vanished. The only thing I don’t know is who my future will be tied to. I have to try again with Blake, but can’t with Jared and Leila here.

“Come on, Kira. Chill. Come get to know Leila. For me?” he says. “Hey, since you’re not Cleaved yet I bet I’ll make you an Aunt before you make me an Uncle.” He’s wrong about that. He’ll be an uncle 40 times over soon enough. The thought of my baby brother having kids makes me a little ill. He can’t even clean his room, do basic chores, or wake up for school on time. How can he possibly handle raising a child? Heck, how can any of my friends raise children? My children!

I return to the living room after making a pit stop to the bathroom to brush my teeth and freshen up, and I make nice with Leila for a half hour while Jared and Blake talk. Then Jared and Leila leave to have some more ‘alone time,’ which means I’ve got to smooth things over with Blake.

“Can we talk?” I say. He still won’t look at me, his eyes focused on a patch of garden on our wall with yellow sunflowers.

“How’s Ethan?” he says, still turned away. “Did you have a nice slumber party?”

“Ethan’s fine. Nothing happened, if you are curious. We just ate and played games. Slept in separate rooms. Had breakfast with his parents,” I say.

“Sounds like you’ll make a happy Cleaved family,” he says, his tone bitter, eyes narrow and brooding.

“I love you, Blake. If you recall, I offered to Cleave you and spend my life with you. I haven’t offered that to anyone else and you know what a big deal it is to me,” I say. I sit by him on the couch. “Please look at me.” He turns his head to me, but his look is sour.

“You’d Cleave with me—right here, right now?” he says.

 
It takes some effort to shove thoughts of Ethan out of my brain and say, “If you agree to have your sole focus to be on us and nothing else from here on out. Then, yes, I’ll Cleave you. Here and now.” I can see him struggle with my offer. He rubs his temples and I reach up and stroke his face with the back of my hand.

Moments later, he kisses me and then pushes me back on the couch. Takes off his shirt. Lies atop me. More passionate kissing—the most intense it’s ever been. I’m extremely nervous, not really ready, but knowing that I need to keep my word. To keep him alive. He starts to lift my shirt off and then abruptly stops. Did I hear a door slam?

“I’ve got to go,” he says. “I can’t do this.” Huh? That’s supposed to be the girl’s line.

“What’s wrong?” I say, but he’s already up and has his shirt on. “Blake, don’t leave. Why won’t you talk to me?”

“I just can’t commit to what you’re asking. Had we gone through with it, I would have ended up disappointing you by going back on my word. I love you, Kira. As best as I can. But as amazing as you are, I’ll never forgive myself if I’m not true to myself and what I believe in,” he says. “As much as it kills me to say it—I think Ethan’s the better Cleave for you.”

“You can’t mean that,” I say, tears filling my eyes.

“I’m sorry. That’s just where I’m at,” he says.

Lovely. Where does that leave me?
 

I arrive at SCI headquarters
at ten to 2200 hours Thursnight. I’m a little nervous to see Ethan given the bomb I dropped on him at breakfast the other night and hoping he is in good spirits and can cheer me up. Blake’s barely been home since he rejected my offer to Cleave. When here, he’s been silent. It’s breaking my heart.

Ethan shows up precisely at 2200 hours.
 

“Hi,” I say. I’d hug him but his body language says he won’t be receptive. Hands in his pockets. Tense. Cold look on his face. Looks like he hasn’t slept in nights.

“Yeah, hi,” he says, distant and businesslike. I’m repelling all the men in my life. Before I can delve into which thing I did that pissed him off, Brad Darcton shows.

“Excellent. You’re both right on time,” he says, as if we’d dare be late. “Kira, I wasn’t sure you’d be here with all that Cleaving you’ve been trying to do with Blake lately.” Well, kudos on making things even more awkward, Brad. Of course, that’s his intention.

“That’s a bit of an overstatement,” I say. “Blake hasn’t spoken to me in nights.”

“Well, looking at it from his perspective… you stay overday at Ethan’s house and then come home and throw yourself at him. Those kind of mixed messages would be a huge blow to any guy’s ego,” he says. If he’s attempting to solicit a reaction, he’ll be sorely disappointed.
 

“I did what I thought was right to try to protect his life. And your interests, as requested,” I say. “My sales pitch failed.”

“Yes, didn’t he suggest that Ethan would be a better Cleave for you?” he says. Ethan shoots his father a glare so cold that Brad must have brain freeze.

“Ethan’s not happy with me either. Do you have a plan C for the Father of Thera?” I quip. “I should have some more viable eggs left.”

“I’ll make note of your willingness to provide more offspring. In the meantime, let’s proceed with our tour,” he says. Unwise to plant ideas in his head, but they’d do it whether I agreed or not.

Brad leads us into headquarters and facilitates an express route through security. He then leads us into a multistory atrium of sorts that takes my breath away. A short overweight man signals Brad by waving a folder.

“You two stay here for a moment while I consult with a colleague,” Brad says. Fine with me. I want to take this place in. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen on Thera… maybe ever.

“You get to work here?” I say to Ethan. “This is incredible.”

“You offered to Cleave Blake?” he says. I guess he doesn’t want to discuss the stunning glass mosaic gardens that bring the atrium walls to life.

“Yes,” I say. “To keep him from proceeding with activities that will lead to his death. He’d prefer sticking to his plans than a life with me, however.”

“You said—that evening at breakfast—you have feelings for both of us. Is that true?” he asks. Why’s he so worried about my feelings when he’s declared that the only girl who will ever make him happy isn’t me?

“Yes, I shouldn’t, but I do. I’m sorry,” I say, looking into his eyes. I watch as he swallows hard. I’ve been really jealous the last couple nights about his admission that he’s still in love with the other girl. And beating myself up over it for stupidly caring.

“Yet you rejected my kiss and said you just wanted to be friends?” he says.

“Just because I have feelings for you doesn’t mean I can act upon them, or that you should want me to given the fact you are in love with someone else. When you kissed me you were in love with someone else, and I can’t condone cheating. Plus, I had a relationship of sorts going with Blake and needed to figure out if that was going anywhere. I felt guilty enough pretending to be your girlfriend back on Earth, knowing what it must be doing to the other girl. Had things been different… had you not had someone else…,” I say. “But they aren’t different and anyway, you’re the one that suggested we stay friends. If you don’t want that, then tell me.”

“I came by to talk to you after my parents left—to talk about all the stuff you said at the breakfast table. Your front door was open. I knocked, but no one answered, so I came in. I saw you and Blake on the couch. Needless to say, I left right away,” he says. That explains the door slam I heard. I shake my head. Ethan must think I’m such a jerk—talk about a huge blow to a guy’s ego. No wonder he’s giving me the cold shoulder. But wait, he shouldn’t care. He loves someone else, I remind myself yet again.

“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry,” I say. “Obviously I’m an immature idiot and an excellent argument for raising the Cleaving age to 21 or higher. I’m just not equipped to deal with this.”
 

“I’m not sure any of us are equipped to deal,” he says, turning away from me. I feel guilty at what he saw and how much it hurt him. Why is this bothering him so much?

“Ethan, who’s the girl you are in love with?” I ask.

“What do you mean?” he asks. I can see the nerves kick in as he shoves his hands in his pockets and starts rocking.

“Because you’re confusing me,” I say. “You tell me that you love this other girl so much that you’d do anything for her, yet you are upset that I haven’t acted upon my feelings for you. The way you look at me and flirt with me… how can you do that when you love someone else? You say you aren’t that guy who’d ever cheat or convince someone else to cheat. But you are being that guy. Every moment we spend together you’re that guy. So who is she?” He throws his hands up in air and rolls his eyes, before settling his hands on my shoulders.

“Do I really need to answer that? Isn’t it obvious? Wasn’t it obvious the first time we met? How can you not know? I never said it was anyone else,” he says, staring into my eyes.
 

Oh. Holy crap. It’s me. What an idiot I am. I can’t help it but my mouth and eyes go wide.