Dead and Dateless (6 page)

“I caught them together. I was out picking up a pizza and I saw them. I couldn’t help myself. I followed them to the place where she works. And then I went back the next day to ask questions. She’s a resident at the medical examiner’s office and she’s there from sunup to sundown. She obviously stashed him someplace inside because he went in and didn’t come out until that evening. They both came out.” Her eyes grew bright. “Together.” She blinked. “They did the same thing the next night. And the next. You probably think it’s creepy that I’ve been watching them, don’t you?”

More like pathetic. “Not at all. You were obviously hurt.”

“And worried. Up until I spotted them together, I hadn’t seen him for days. I didn’t know if he’d been taken out by an SOB or if he’d fallen through his glass dining room table and maybe pierced himself to death.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to him. Jack’s so special. He’s so…”

“Self-centered? Condescending? Shallow?”

“Sweet. Handsome.
Sexy.
I’ve never met another man like him.”

Her eyes grew even brighter and my chest hitched. I so understood the tears because I felt like bawling myself right about now. Forty minutes and counting.

“I can’t believe he’s seeing someone.” A tear squeezed past her thick, dark lashes and slid down her cheek.

“Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“The crying. I’m not good with people who cry.”

“I’m not crying.” She wiped at her cheek. “You’re the one who’s crying.”

“
I’m
not crying.” I wiped at my own cheek. Whoa, I was crying. Empathy crying, of course. Crying was useless. A waste of time and precious bodily fluids.

Okay, so that sounded kind of gross, but it was definitely a waste of time.

I sniffed and wiped at the traitorous moisture. “So how long were you and Jack seeing each other?”

“Three years and fourteen days.”

I arched an eyebrow. “No hours?”

She glanced at her watch. “Six hours and thirty-two minutes.”

“That was a joke.”

“Oh.” She sniffled.

“Listen, I know a breakup can be tough. But people survive.”

“I know.”

“You’ll get through this. A breakup, however messy or unexpected, isn’t the end of anything. It’s just the beginning.”

She sniffled and wiped at her eyes. “We, um, didn’t actually
break up.
I mean, we did, but we didn’t.”

“I’m not following you.”

“We weren’t really
together
together. I just liked him.”

“And he didn’t like you?” I know I sounded shocked, but we’re talking
Jack.
His only requirement when it came to females was a vagina. And my oldest brother, Rob, and I had seriously debated
that
after seeing him last year with a Broadway dancer named Nick. Short for Nicole, or so Jack said. But judging from the size of her pecs, I’d had my doubts.

“He doesn’t actually know me. I mean, he knows who I am and that I live in the apartment below him. I think. But he doesn’t really
know
me. In the sexual sense, that is. Come to think of it, he doesn’t know me in the friend sense, either. We’ve never actually had a conversation. There was this one time that he was coming in and I was going out and we ran into each other and sort of had a moment.”

“A moment?”

“You know, one of those times when you stare into someone’s eyes and it’s like
hell
o? This is Mr. Right.”

Ty Bonner’s image popped into my head before I could push it back out and certain parts of my anatomy tingled. I knew, all right. Boy, did I ever.

Not that Ty was Mr. Right. More like Mr. Right Now. As in temporary. As in it
ain’t gonna happen, sistah.

I glanced at my watch again. “The medical examiner’s office, you say? You wouldn’t happen to know where that is?” She nodded and I smiled. “Thanks.”

She disappeared inside and came back a full two minutes later with an address scribbled on a piece of paper. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” I snatched the paper from her hands and bolted down the steps.

“I hope everything turns out okay.” Her voice followed me and I stopped. “With your emergency,” she added when I turned and caught her sad puppy dog stare.

“Thanks.” Before I could stop myself, I’d ripped off a blank portion of the paper she’d given me. I begged a pen and then scribbled the phone number for Dead End Dating. “What did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t, but it’s Rachel. Rachel Sanchez.”

“Here, Rachel.”

“What’s this?”

“The new beginning. It’s the contact info for this great new dating service I just started—er, that is I’m just starting to hear about. Phenomenal things. The owner is this totally hip vampire with fab taste in clothes. She knows
everything
when it comes to hooking up singles.”

“A
vampire
matchmaker? You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Hey, if the fangs fit…”

“Vampires don’t date.”

“Not usually, but we’ve evolved. I date all the time.” I wish. “Anyhow, you really should give it a try. You won’t be sorry.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. What could a vampire know about hooking up a were?”

“I happen to know for a fact that the owner, the totally fab vampire, is in the process of hooking up the entire chapter of the Connecticut NUNS.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’ve got a friend who works for her.” Hey, Evie and I were friends.

She seemed to think for a second. “A werewolf is a lot easier to match up than a were-Chihuahua.”

A girl could only hope.

“I wouldn’t worry about the details. They give a money back guarantee.”

“It’s not the money.”

Be still my beatless heart.

“I just don’t know if I’m ready,” she added.

“I know it seems really soon, but it’s better not to waste any time before jumping back into the dating scene.”

“It’s been a really long time since I’ve been out with anyone.”

“How long is really long?”

“About ten.”

“That’s nothing. Why, I’ve had—I mean, they’ve had clients who’ve been dateless much longer than a measly ten years.”

“That’s ten dog years.”

“Oh.”

“And it’s been even longer since I’ve actually had sex.”

I fought down a wave of panic and smiled. “So what? There’s more to life than sex.” What was I saying? Sex defined my race. Born vampires stopped aging when they lost their virginity. Their search for an eternity mate hinged on fertility ratings and orgasm quotients. I didn’t know if it was the same for were-Chihuahuas, but from my limited dealings with Viola I was willing to bet that sex figured pretty hefty in there somewhere.

“More than sex?”

“Sure. There’s mutual interests and companionship.”

She seemed to think again. “Well, it would be sort of nice to have someone to share a pizza with.”

“There you go. So give Dead End Dating a call and ask for Evie. She practically runs the place.” At least while I was
this
close to Death Row. “She’ll be glad to help you.”

“Thanks.” She gave me a grateful smile. “I owe you.”

“No, I owe
you.
” Or I would if Rachel’s surveillance panned out and I caught up with Jack.

D
ead bodies don’t normally creep me out. I mean, I
am
a fearless, bloodsucking vampire.

All right, already. So I don’t really do death and destruction all that well and I haven’t been to a funeral in…well, I’ve never actually been to one (add immortal to the fearless, bloodsucking definition above), so I might have been a little creeped out.

I stared into the square window cut into the massive metal door and my hand stalled. Large metal drawers lined the walls from floor to ceiling. A row of stretchers sported large, black zippered bags. The smell of disinfectant burned my nostrils.

“Are you sure she’s in there?” I asked the orderly who’d led me down the hallway.

“Saw her check in for her shift myself.” He peered over my shoulder. “There she is.” He signaled to the only upright human in the entire room. She was a small redhead wearing a white lab coat and an ID badge that read
MANDY DUPREE, M.D., RESIDENT
/
FORENSIC PATHOLOGY
.

“Maybe you could tap on the glass and get her to come out here?”

“She just clocked in. She doesn’t get a break yet and she can’t leave the room unattended.”

I took in a deep breath and immediately regretted it. Not only did the dead bodies creep me out, but the dead smell wasn’t helping the situation.

I expelled the breath, made a
no more breathing
promise to myself, and punched the red buzzer next to the door. Dr. Mandy glanced up and I waved. A puzzled expression creased her face as she crossed the room and punched a button. The door swung open.

“Sorry to bother you. You’re the Mandy who’s dating Jack Marchette, right?” I asked the question, but I didn’t really need to bother. The moment her bright green gaze collided with mine, I knew the answer. She wasn’t just dating Jack. She was desperately in love with him and she felt certain he returned those feelings. He’d surprised her with a puppy for her birth day two weeks ago and last night he’d surprised her by licking her—

Whoops. I so didn’t need to know
that.
I blinked and focused my attention on the fine arch of her left eyebrow. Hmmm…nice wax job.

“Why do you want to know?”

“I’m looking for Jack. You do know him, right?”

She eyed me a moment longer before she finally nodded. “Jack’s in the lounge getting me some coffee.”

“Jack’s getting you coffee?
Jack? Jack Marchette?
” See, here’s the thing. My brother loves women, and he’s obviously really good at it because he usually has one at his beck and call twenty-four/seven.
Not
the other way around.

“Who are you?” she asked me.

“I’m his…” I thought about giving her the cousin spiel, but Jack wasn’t likely to play along since he didn’t yet know the trouble I was in. “I’m his sister.”

A smile erupted on her face. “You’re Lil?” At my nod, she grasped my hand and gave it a warm squeeze. “I’ve heard so much about you. It’s so good to finally meet you in person.”

“You’ve heard about me?”

It was her turn to nod. “Of course, silly. You and your brothers. Jack’s really crazy about all of you.”

“He is?”

“You guys are all he talks about.”

“We are?”

“Of course. He’s such a family man.”

“He is?” Okay, so like I knew I was asking dumb questions, but this was one of those life-changing moments. My entire family unit as I knew it, complete with a pain-in-the-ass brother who couldn’t stand me, was disintegrating right before my eyes.

“His strong sense of family is one of the things that attracted me to him. He’s so loyal and protective and—there he is!”

I turned just as Mandy pressed the button and the door swung open. Jack stood there, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and a long-stemmed red rose in the other.

Forget life-changing. This was a
Twilight Zone
moment.

“Hey, baby.” He handed Mandy the coffee and the rose and gave her a lingering kiss.

I cleared my throat and the kiss ended. Jack turned.

His expression went from dreamy to puzzled. “Lil? What are you doing here?”

“I’m being hunted by the cops for chopping some guy into little pieces.”

He grinned. “Funny, sis.”

“No, I’m serious.”

“Lil can’t stand the sight of blood.” As soon as Jack said it, he and Mandy both burst out laughing.

“But she’s a vampire.” The statement seemed to make them laugh that much harder.

“Hey, I’m serious.” I frowned and tapped Jack on the shoulder. “Hello?”

“No, really.” Jack wiped at his eyes. “Why are you here?”

“That’s why I’m here. I’m being hunted and I need your help.”

Jack shook his head, but Mandy sobered up. “I think she’s serious, Jack.”

“Murder? That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“You and me both,” I told him. “Regardless, it’s true. I’m on the lam. A fugitive. A
murder
suspect.” My vision clouded and I blinked frantically. Hello? I was not crying now. Here. In front of Jack. The last time I’d let loose the waterworks, he’d laughed at me. Then again, I’d been five and he’d been seven and he’d shattered the head of my favorite porcelain doll.

The thought made my vision blur all the more. I sniffled. “So can you help me?”

“What do you need?”

No laughing. Definitely a good sign. I swallowed. “I need cash. Lots of it.”

While Jack headed off to the ATM, I chatted with Mandy while she undressed and prepped a body for temporary storage until the scheduled autopsy.

Talk about creepy, and slow. The second hand on the clock seemed to drag as Mandy arranged and zipped and my muscles started to ache. While I couldn’t see outside because we were in a secure, windowless room, I could feel the sun creeping toward the horizon. My strength drained away and my eyelids drooped and I silently begged for Jack to hurry the hell up.