Dead Chaos (12 page)

Icy wind blasted us as the Bifrost deposited us in Jotunnheim. We'd laughed at the fur coats we'd been given to wear, but now, I was thankful Sigrun had insisted. And despite the warm furs, icy fingers of cold still managed to steal through the warm coverings. Hugin immediately launched himself off my shoulder and rose higher than the driving wind to circle above us.
Sure, he’s going to be a lot of use so far away.
I huffed in disgust.

"Come, we should get out of the wind," said Sigrun as she led us away. We'd landed right on the top of a cliff, facing the brunt of a howling wind head-on. We followed in silence, each probably trying to convince ourselves we'd made the right decision to come.

Sigrun led us down the rocky mountainside, pointing out handholds as she went. It didn't prevent us from slipping and sliding our way down when we got the chance. When we finally reached solid ground, we stood huffing and struggling for breath and picking tiny pieces of shattered stone from our palms. Aidan didn't look too pleased, but the rest of the team seemed to be dealing with the harsh terrain well enough.

Above, the dark sky told us in no uncertain terms that we were unwelcome. Heavy, black clouds gathered and forks of lightning appeared as they roiled and bumped against each other. I frowned at the angry sky. Something felt strange and I couldn’t put a finger on it.

Lightning struck high above, followed closely by the gurgle of thunder. The sky was high. Too high. Higher than our sky back in Midgard and definitely higher than the Asgard sky. It only added to the feeling of being alone and being small and insignificant.

Sigrun came to stand beside me, shifting the weight of her satchel on her shoulder. "Ready?" she asked, her gray eyes concerned.

"As I'll ever be," I answered. "Don't worry. We'll be fine."

"It is not me I am worried about, Bryn," Sigrun said as we led the group but walked a little ahead of the team for privacy.

"I know. I'm guessing you don't approve of my trip."

"Whether I do or do not makes no real difference. This is your decision alone to make."

"Not really, since you're coming with me." I raised an eyebrow.

"Perhaps you are right in a way. But my choice was in accompanying you. Not in the making of your decision."

"Sigrun, you're giving me a headache." I laughed, patting her hand. Then I sobered up. The fact that my friends had chosen, or insisted, on coming with me was not lost on me. I appreciated that more than I'd expressed to them. "Thank you, Sigrun. I know I haven't said this before, but thank you. For coming with me and for always sticking by me."

"I thought that is what a friend would do. Why do you thank me?" Sigrun's brow twisted in confusion.

"Because I want you to know that I love you for it. You're the best friend a girl could have," I said, emotion welling up in my throat as I realized how much I really cared for this Valkyrie who'd stolen me from my home in Craven, who'd helped me through my transformation into a winged Warrior, and who'd been my steadfast friend ever since.

"And I feel the same about you too," Sigrun answered with a kind smile. For all her goodness it seemed hard for her to admit her affection.

"Right. Norns, here I come," I said, flicking a glance at the team walking soberly behind us.

The ragged fingers of rock behind us didn't end there. It hedged us in like a fence, coming down on both sides and descending down the mountainside, stretching almost endlessly into the distance. A layer of fresh snow topped the craggy rock and crunched under our feet, dirty and brown, yet still icy.

"Watch your step as you walk down the hillside," warned Sigrun. "It is very slippery."

We followed her in silence. I still felt the pressure of this world bearing down on me despite the height of the sky. A sky that far away should make everything feel so much more grand and expansive, but all it did was make me feel colder and smaller and more insignificant.

I risked a brisk trot to catch up with Sigrun. "Is this really the nearest Bifrost entrance to the Tree?" I was annoyed that despite the bridge, we ended up deposited in a place that seemed too far from our destination.

"Yes, unfortunately it is. The Jotunns do not provide generous access to either the Aesir or the Vanir. But the Tree of Life belongs to us all, thus the Jotunns have no choice but to allow the Bridge to open as near as possible. This is the nearest entrance to the Yggdrasil."

"Nearest?" I scoffed. "The Jotunns have a warped sense of humor. This entrance is about as far as you can get. They certainly didn't want to make it easy for people to visit the tree."

"I suspect the placement has more to do with the fact that the All-Father has direct access to the Yggdrasil."

"Oh, so he can go there directly? Like the way he sent you to fetch me to Asgard, or how he took me straight to Freya's Hall in Hel?"

"Yes, that is exactly the way."

We descended the mountainside without incident, but I noticed the team was unusually silent. Aidan walked by himself, followed by Aimee and Joshua. He stood apart as if he was already extricating himself from our team, barely talking to or looking at anyone. He and I were no longer together, and I wasn’t crazy enough to think I could force him to stay with the team. It may be best if he found a different team and I would be surprised if he hadn’t already made arrangements.

At least my heart didn’t ache for him. I wondered if I was in some kind of denial—that I wasn't devastated about our parting because deep down, I wasn't accepting that we weren’t together anymore. But, when I thought about it more, I knew. It was over and I was okay with it. Maybe we could still be friends.

Maybe.

We walked on, winding between the immense shards of rock scattered across the ground as if hundreds of lightning bolts had shattered on impact and turned into granite.

We'd left Asgard straight after a hot, fortifying breakfast, but soon, that meal began to feel like it was hours ago. I was still on automatic, it seemed, as I glanced at my watch. The clock face was blank. Watches didn't work in the other realms, digital or otherwise. I'd strapped it on automatically as I'd dressed.

Looking up at the sky didn’t help to tell the time, either. The roiling clouds covered every inch of the heavens and it was easy to assume that no sun ever shone here in Jotunnheim. But as much as I wanted to stop, rest, and eat, we needed to cover as much ground as possible. At last, when I felt like I wouldn’t be able to take another step without imploding from hunger, Sigrun slowed to a halt and said, "Let us stop here. Eat and rest. The next stop we make will be for the night."

As if on cue, Hugin circled and descended, landing on a nearby rock that looked dangerously jagged. But he perched there just fine, his impassive bird face giving nothing away.

We dug into our packs for our rations and I glanced at Sigrun. "So how long will it take to get there?" I asked, unsure if I wanted to hear the answer.

"We should get there by tomorrow evening as long as we keep up the pace. We will have to rest for the night though."

"Why can't we just keep going?"

"The nights in Jotunnheim are brutal. Ice, snow, and sleet fill the air, making it difficult to travel, let alone survive. We have to find a place to take cover during the night-storms," said Sigrun.

I leaned against one of the huge rocks, the action reminding me that my wings were no longer there to cushion my back as they used to. Even when I thought it would be too hard to do, I’d gotten used to life without them.

I tried to distract myself by watching my companions. Joshua had built a fire while the rest of the team had prepared the food. Soon a meat pie and an apple filled my belly, making me feel human again. I must have daydreamed a bit because I started when someone sat beside me, armor tinkling softly beneath a thick fur coat.

"How you holding up?" asked Joshua as he settled in. His dark eyes roamed my face as if he'd find some kind of sign there.

"I'm fine," I said, smiling. I found myself staring into his face too, and soon, I wasn’t sure if it was the newly built fire or something else that warmed me from head to toe. That brought a blooming warmth to my cheeks.

From the look on Joshua's face, I could tell he felt the same as his gaze landed on my lips and stayed there a bit longer than necessary. When he looked up at me, I had to remind myself to breathe. And remind myself that we were surrounded by people.

I glanced away from Joshua and looked straight into Aidan's face. His expression was dark and twisted into an angry frown. Had he seen more in our exchange than he should have? Or was he just suspicious? I looked away, staring into the fire in silence.

Aidan's expression made me wonder if I owed him an explanation. I'd thought of him as my boyfriend even though he'd never asked me. We'd been apart for most of the time that we’d been together. What kind of a relationship was that anyway? Our attraction had been instant. Had I bluffed myself into thinking it was more than just chemistry?

And now that the "relationship" was over by his decision, he really had no place making any judgments on my choices or getting pissed off about them either.

We rested for half an hour more before setting off again into the white, wintry wilderness. The trek had taken its toll, and even after the lunchtime rest, nobody was in any mood to chat. They probably felt the same as me—just put one foot in front of the other until we get there.

Twilight was a welcoming sight, if only it meant rest and a little warmth. Sigrun found us a good spot in a hollowed out space at the base of one of the gigantic stones. We were fortunate too that we'd found a cave that faced away from the gusting winds. We barely made it inside before icy, white snowflakes began to drift to the ground.

We stamped some warmth back into our feet and moved closer to the fire. Everyone else was oblivious to it, but I could feel the tension resonating from Aidan. But I wasn’t sure it made sense to hide the way I felt. Or rather, the way I no longer felt about him. Everything seemed so mixed up right now that a little honesty could only do us some good.

With the wind and snow howling outside, we decided to settle down for the night, angling ourselves toward the fire. Aimee threw her blanket beside me and gave me a sneaky grin.

"You okay?" I whispered.

"Yup, just fine." Aimee snuggled in her fur coat and let out a sigh. Then, face full of mischief, she whispered, "So are you two going to stop making googly eyes at each other and just get on with it?"

I stared at Aimee in silence, wondering how much she knew. "What do you mean, googly eyes?"

"Come on, Bryn. I'm not blind. Besides you and Joshua were an item even before either of you knew it."

I snorted. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Remember when I came back to school for that one day?" I nodded, recalling her rainbow patchwork bandana and her cheery smile. "I'd passed Cherise in the hallway. She was furious because Joshua was head over heels for the new girl. See, everyone knew it except for you and Joshua."

The rustle and rumble of movement and conversation around us began to die as everyone settled in and began to fall asleep, signaling the end of our conversation. Aimee winked at me and shut her eyes. Soon she was asleep, breathing evenly like Sigrun who slept on the other side of me.

I watched Aidan as he took up the guard, his back stiff and profile hard as granite. I sighed. He was pretty much a lost cause right now.

I listened to Joshua’s soft snores and the occasional snuffling from one of the girls. I fell asleep soon enough, the journey having tired my body out.

***

I stood frozen in place, blinking as the noise around me solidified into a battle scene.

A blade swiped at an Ulfr as he charged a frost giant. The vicious edge caught him in the neck, sending blood spraying everywhere, covering my hands and face. I could taste the copper on my tongue and I gagged. Shocked, I stumbled forward, screaming.

Everyone was dying around me.

What was happening? I screamed for Odin but he couldn’t hear me; he was too busy fighting off Loki. I struggled to get closer to Fen. I had to stop Vidarr from getting closer to him. I knew the god of Silence and Vengeance wanted only to kill Fen because of the prophecy. Kill Fen now and perhaps Odin may survive this war.

I screamed Fen's name and struggled against the push of bodies and the slash of swords and the screams of dying men and giants and gods.

And then I woke, gasping and choking for breath.

***