Dead Man Living (5 page)

“Sure,” she answered, opening a drawer.

“Why do you think Maria Vasquez warned her husband when I went in to help her? If she hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have been shot.”

Beth removed several pairs of panties and tossed them into the bag. “Who knows? Maybe he’d trained her to think of him first, or perhaps even though he did what he did to her, she still loved him. It’s hard to say what’s in a person’s mind when they’re going through something so traumatic.”

With all the things he’d heard in the past thirty minutes, Joe was starting to understand that he knew nothing about domestic abuse. “I’ve often contemplated trying to find her, to ask her.”

Beth’s face went pale as she covered her mouth with her hand. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“She killed herself after her husband’s sentencing.”

Joe felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. “No, no one told me,” he mumbled. How many months had he wasted wondering what had happened to Maria? Pure selfishness raced through him. His enitre life had changed that day, all in an attempt to save a woman who would ultimately end her own life. He thought of the friends he’d lost, the job he’d been forced out of, and the time spent seeing visions of horrendous crimes.

“Excuse me.” Joe found a small bathroom off the short hallway and shut himself inside. He was torn between guilt at the way he felt and anger for what had been done to him. It was the first time since the shooting that he regretted going into the Vasquez house that day.

“Joe?” Beth called through the door.

“I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Take your time. I have a few things to do in the kitchen. Just come in when you’re ready.”

“Thanks.” Joe appreciated Beth’s understanding. He slumped down onto the closed toilet and lost himself in his thoughts.

When a knock sounded at the door, it drew him out of the anger and resentment that was threatening to overwhelm him. “Yeah?”

“It’s me,” Brian said.

If anyone would understand what he was going through it would be Brian. “Come in.”

Brian opened the door and stuck his head in. “Everything okay?”

Joe motioned his friend into the room. It was an odd place to talk, but Joe didn’t want Beth to hear him whine. “Beth send you in here?”

“I think she’s afraid that she said something to upset you.” Brian moved the shower curtain aside and sat on the edge of the tub.

“Did you know that Maria Vasquez killed herself?” Joe watched Brian closely.

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Although the two of them had drifted apart, the death of Maria would have been something he’d have expected Brian to tell him about.

Brian grabbed a bottle of shampoo and began to study the label. “I don’t talk about that with anyone.”

“Don’t you think I had a right to know?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t talk to you about it. Cap should’ve called you.”

Joe reached over and grabbed the bottle out of Brian’s hand. “You were my best friend. Why didn’t
you
tell me?”

Brian took the bottle back and set it on the ledge. “I went to his trial, sat there every single fucking day and watched Maria sit behind him, support him, even after everything he’d done.” He met Joe’s gaze. “I hated her. After her husband was sentenced, I caught her out in the hall and told her he got off lucky. That he deserved to die.” He shrugged. “She killed herself that night.”

Joe narrowed his gaze.
Guilt.
He thought about Brian’s aura. “You think her suicide was your fault?”

Brian took a few moments to reply. “She already held the stick of dynamite, but, yeah, I think I lit the fuse.”

Joe was suprised by Brian’s anger towards Maria until he realised the feelings were on his behalf. “Did you go to that trial because of me?”

“Of course I did. You gonna tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing?” Brian seemed to look everywhere but at Joe.

“Yeah, but that’s different.” It was the closest Joe had come to sharing his feelings with Brian.

“Why?” Brian asked, finally meeting Joe’s gaze.

Joe wasn’t ready to make a confession, so he tried to change the subject. “Are you hungry? Beth’s making stew.”

“Answer my question, Joe.” Brian leaned towards Joe.

Joe tried to concentrate on his attraction to Beth. Although he hadn’t known Beth long, he could actually see a future with her. Telling Brian the truth would only lead to more heartache.

Before Joe could come up with an answer, Brian lurched towards him and kissed him. It wasn’t passionate, more like Brian was testing the water before truly diving in. He sat back on his heels and stared at Joe. “That’s why I sat in that courtroom.”

Joe swallowed. Never, in all the years they’d worked together had Brian ever given him the impression that he was anything but straight or that there was an attraction to him. He was standing at a fork in the road. One direction led to Beth and the other to Brian. “I wish I’d known.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t admit it to myself until you were shot.” Brian started to stand, but instinct made Joe reach for him.

“I’ve loved you for years,” Joe finally confessed before sealing his mouth over Brian’s.
Oh, fuck.
Holding Brian was everything he’d hoped it would be. He was more than ready to explore Brian’s body but, before he could take it to the next level, Beth came to mind.

Brian broke the kiss, rubbing Joe’s erection. “What?”

Disgusted with himself for becoming arroused by two different people within the span of thirty minutes, he shook his head. “Beth.”

“Is there something between the two of you?” Brian asked, releasing his hold on Joe’s cock.

How could he explain the instant connection he’d felt with Beth? “Yeah. It doesn’t make sense, I get that, but I’ve shared more with her than I have with anyone. Why, is a question I need to explore.” Joe ran his hand over Brian’s short, dark brown hair. “I can’t let you walk away from me again, but I don’t wanna walk away from her either.”

Brian sat back on his heels and rested his forehead on Joe’s leg. “So where does that leave us?”

Joe bent over and kissed the back of Brian’s head. “I don’t know, but I have to be honest with her. Hell, who knows, she may be completely disgusted with me.”

“She’s not,” Beth said from the doorway. “I didn’t mean to interupt, but the stew’s getting cold and the sweet cornbread is fresh from the oven.”

Joe couldn’t take his eyes off Beth’s swirling aura. He glanced down at Brian, then back to Beth. The grey threaded with deep red that had always surrounded Brian was mimicked in Beth’s aura. Damn, he wished his gift had come with an instruction book.

Brian stood and shifted uncomfortably for a moment before pointing over Beth’s shoulder to the hallway. “I’ll wait in the living room.”

Beth moved to the side and allowed Brian to make his escape before stepping further into the room. She didn’t seem at all angry, which threw Joe for several moments as he tried to come up with something to say.

“I’m sorry that I invaded your privacy,” Beth said.

“Please don’t apologise,” Joe began. “It was inconsiderate of us to have that particular discussion in your home.”

“From the little that I caught, it sounded like a long overdue conversation between the two of you.” Beth leant back against the sink. “Did you mean what you said about not wanting to walk away from me?”

Joe nodded. “But I also don’t want to let Brian walk away.” He got to his feet and moved to stand in front of Beth. “I know it sounds like I wanna have my cake and eat it too, but…”

“You don’t have to choose on my account,” Beth cut in. “I’ve dated a few times since my marriage, but I’ve not been in an exclusive relationship with any one person.”

Joe smoothed Beth’s soft blonde hair behind her ear. “Because you didn’t want to be exclusive, or because you haven’t trusted anyone enough to let them in?”

“Both, I guess. What I’m saying is as long as it’s okay with Brian, I don’t mind sharing you.”

An image of all three of them in bed together popped into his mind.
Fuck
. Unfortunately, Joe didn’t think that was what Beth had in mind. He’d been bisexual since he’d first started masturbating, but never had he gone to bed with more than one sex at a time.

Beth pressed herself against Joe’s erection and tilted her head back. “Kiss me and let’s eat.”

Chapter Six

Brian spread a generous dollop of butter onto his piece of cornbread. “Thanks for inviting me to stay. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a home-cooked meal.”

“From what Joe tells me, you’re here to help save my life and arrest Billy. How could I not share with you?” Beth glanced at Joe and smiled.

Brian turned his attention to Joe. “So give me more details about your vision.”

Joe set his spoon down. He hated to think of the vision that had rocked him earlier in the day, but it was important that they go over the details once again. “It was dark, a parking lot probably because there were cars in the background. A security light that kept buzzing and switiching on and off.” He rested his elbows on the table and stared at the clock on the kitchen wall. “Flashes. The light. Cars. Beth wearing a dark suit, crumpled on her knees with a large blood stain on her chest.” He stopped suddenly and stared at Beth.
Shit.
She’d gone pale. “I’m sorry.”

Beth reached over and squeezed Joe’s hand. “It’s not your fault you see what you do.” She released her hold and spoke to Brian. “I’m planning to burn this suit.”

Brian’s dark eyebrows rose. “I can’t believe you’re joking about this.”

“Can you think of a better idea? If someone saw you die in that shirt, would you keep wearing it?” Beth asked, before calmly taking a bite of cornbread.

“I can see why Joe likes you.” Brian took a bite.

“Can you?” Beth asked, winking at him.

“Are you two flirting?” Joe glanced from Beth to Brian, his cock hardening under the table.

Beth grinned. “Would you be opposed to that?”

“Me? Hell, no, it would make my life a heck of a lot easier, but I won’t push either of you into something you’re not comfortable with.” Joe decided he’d eaten enough. The conversation had other parts of him hungry, but he made no move, waiting for Brian and Beth’s reaction.

Like she had earlier, Beth blushed, and pushed back her chair. She moved to Joe and gave him a deep kiss, reaching under the table to rub his cock. “I didn’t make dessert, but I have some vanilla bean ice cream with chocolate or carmel sauce.” She stood and carried her plate to the sink.

Despite the erection pressing against the front of his jeans, he stood and started gathering dishes. When he reached for Brian’s, Brian shook his head.

“I’ll get it,” Brian said. “Why don’t you start the dishes while I talk to her?”

Joe was hesitant, but eventually agreed. “Do we know what we’re doing?” he whispered.

Brian gave Joe a quick kiss, slipping his tongue inside. “How the hell would I know, I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“That makes three of us,” Joe agreed.

Brian lured Beth into the living room, leaving Joe to do the dishes. “Can we talk honestly?”

Beth took one of the light blue sofa pillows and placed it on her lap, clearly nervous. “Sure.”

Brian wasn’t sure how to start the conversation, so he also grabbed one of the pillows. “These are nice.”

“Yeah.” Beth cleared her throat. “If I’d have known you and Joe had feelings for each other, I never would’ve opened myself to him.”

The truth sucked, but he had to be honest with Beth. “We didn’t know. We were best friends for years.” Brian took a deep breath. “I dated women because cops are supposed to be tough. I sure as hell didn’t tell anyone, especially Joe, that I was attracted to him. I brushed it off as caring about him because he was my partner and I was responsible for watching his back. It wasn’t until after he was shot, and I almost lost him that I knew what I felt was love.”

“So why didn’t you tell him?” Beth asked, genuine concern in her voice.

“Because I had no idea he felt the same way or that he was even into guys. The first time I went to see him in the hospital, he looked at me funny. At the time, I didn’t think much about it. I chalked it up to the shooting. But when I stopped by after they released him from the hospital, he told me about his ability to see auras, and he said mine was different than other people’s.” Brian ran a hand over his hair. “I freaked. I thought he was seeing the way I felt about him.”

“I think I was,” Joe said, coming into the room. He handed a bowl of ice cream to Beth before giving one to Brian. “Don’t worry, I’m not staying. I still have left over stew to put in a container so I can wash the pan.”

“You don’t have to leave,” Brian said.

“No, I don’t, but I think the two of you are doing good in here without me.” Joe disappeared back into the kitchen.

Brian took a bite of his ice cream, giving Beth time to think about what he’d said.

“I’ve only known Joe for a few days, and as much as I genuienly like him, I think the two of you owe it to each other to see this through without a third wheel getting in the way.”

“Normally, I might agree with you, but I know Joe, and he honestly cares for you.” Brian couldn’t believe he was about to turn Beth’s offer down, but he knew in his heart it was the right thing to do. “Why don’t we play it by ear, both date him, maybe work up to some group dates.” Hell, he sounded crazy.

“Okay, I guess we’re all grown-ups, right?” She gathered a big spoonful of ice cream and carmel sauce and stuck it in her mouth, a big smile on her pretty face.

“Calling Brian a grown-up might be pushing it, but at least he’s over the age of consent.” Joe carried his bowl of ice cream into the room and sat between Brian and Beth on the sofa. “Is it my turn now?”

Brian glanced at Beth. “Should we let him speak?”

“Why not,” Beth said. “He did the dishes.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Brian waved his spoon at Joe. “Go ahead.”

“I can already tell the two of you are too damn much alike.” Joe cleared his throat. “We don’t have to come up with a five-year plan or anything. Let’s just get comfortable with each other. Date, kiss…” Joe waggled his eyebrows up and down. “And other stuff.”