Dead Man's Bluff (3 page)

“Please,
don’t…” was all he could manage as she fisted a hand around him. He inhaled a
sharp intake of breath through his teeth as his body slumped down further on
the sofa, his eyes rolling closed. He felt her lean into him, the weight of her
arms settling across his groin. Her breath was whispered against his most
private part, “Your father said I’m not allowed back in the bedroom until I
satisfy you. Honestly, I’m not too keen on screwing a fourteen year old, but I
will if that’s what you have your heart set on. I’d much rather give you a
blowjob you’ll never forget. What do you say?”

Drew
sat straight up in the bed in his apartment; a wet sheen clung to his skin as
his breaths came quick in the dark room. He peeled back the covers, leapt from
the bed, making a panicked dash for the bathroom toilet. His knees collided
with the cold tile right as the vomit exploded from his mouth. Gagging sounds
consumed the bathroom. Spasms in his stomach had him gripping the toilet seat
tighter.  The more he thought about the woman’s mouth moving over him, the more
he puked.  Finally he had to turn it off, the shit that was inside his head.
Mostly it was disgust, disgust because even though he had tried not to, he had
enjoyed what the woman had done to him. Maybe, if his father would have hired a
stripper or some anonymous woman it wouldn’t have been so bad. But he hadn’t, his
father had sent the woman he was sharing his bed with and although it was the
first time, it wouldn’t be the last time he’d catch Drew off guard. Wiping his
mouth with the back of his hand, Drew sat against the wall, knees up. His head
hit the wall, his hands raking through his hair, dragging down his face. He was
a mess, inside and out.

That
photo of Megan had gotten to him more than he cared to admit. What was he
thinking? He wasn’t capable of normal. If it had been him and her, together, he
would have only screwed it up, eventually. There was too much crap scrambled inside
his head. He wouldn’t even know what a real relationship looked like if he saw
one. But hell, that photo of her, moving on, happy without him, it sawed at his
gut causing more burning, but instead of lunging for the toilet again, Drew
Mackenzie did something he thought he would never do.

He
cried.

It
started with the easy shake of his shoulders, and then it was as if years of
buried shit rose to the surface, a tidal wave of hurt.  Minutes passed, maybe
hours when he finally acknowledged, “She’s better off without me.”
♠

Five

“Looks
like you’re all packed up.” Sadness fell over Lillian as she sank down on the
side of her daughter’s bed: things were changing; Megan would no longer be
right down the hall from her mother’s room. Lillian bent and picked up the sad,
ratty looking stuffed dog peeking out from one of the boxes. It was the kind of
stuff animal you’d see hanging high above the games at the fair; stiff, with a
red bandana tied around its neck. Her lips turned up in the corners, “Taking
him with you?”

“Of
course,” Megan said. There was the sound of tape being yanked from a roll,
another box sealed and ready. She drew a deep breath for courage. Who knew
moving away would be this difficult? “That’s the last of it, at least for now.
I left out a few things I might need over the next couple of days.”

Lillian
scowled, making little worry lines form between her eyes. “So, you’re really
going to move in the house before you’re even married?”

Megan
rolled her eyes and lifted the final box to go. “Please mom, don’t pretend
you’re old fashion. It’s an insult to my intelligence.”

“Don’t
you want some time to think? This is huge step, Megan.”

Thump!
The box was dropped heavily by the bedroom door, and Megan turned to glare at
her mother. “I have thought about it, a lot actually. It’s what I want.
Besides, Conner’s not moving in until after the wedding. He thought it would be
nice if I had a little extra time to get used to the place, which I think says
a great deal about the man I’m marrying.”

Wow.
It was really happening. In six months she would be someone’s
wife
.

“Yes,
Conner is nice.” Lillian sneered the word ‘nice’ as if it was some form of STD.
Her fingers pulled at a loose stich on the dog’s leg. “I remember the day your
father won this for you.”

“Me
too,” Megan collapsed down beside her mother blowing her bangs out of her eyes,
exhausted. “It’s one of the last memories I have of him before he became so
sick.” 

Lillian
slipped her hand into her daughters and squeezed. They had been through so much
lately: sleepless nights, cold wash cloths laid over a feverish forehead,
doctor visits…it had definitely strengthened their relationship. “What am I
going to do without you here as a buffer? I swear I am going to end up
murdering your stepfather.” Laughter exchanged between them. “Meg, I’m serious.
The man drives me absolutely insane.”

“You
love him, which is exactly why he drives you insane.” Megan smiled, stood and
moved to the open closet door. She was sifting through what was left on the
hangers when she noticed her mother’s pinched expression. “Uh oh, here it
comes…what did Stratford do this time?”

Nothing
could have prepared her for, “I saw Drew today.”

Oh
God. Megan froze, her hands hovering over the hangers. All the color drained
from her face and her heart went crazy in her chest. For so long she had not
allowed herself to think of him. Her mother and her had never discussed what
happened at the ranch. Megan had come home and fell right back into the same
routine: nails, makeup, friends, and she’d even dated.

But
at night, when she was alone, she had cried herself to sleep.  For months. Drew
Mackenzie had dumped her as soon as he’d won his bet. Lillian had given
Stratford hell for his involvement, and openly admitted to her friendship with
Drew, but after that…there was nothing, only an understood that Drew was one
subject no one discussed. 

Realizing
she’d been silent for some time, Megan went back to dragging hangers along the
metal rod, a little too noisily to imply she was unaffected by the news.  She
shrugged a shoulder and controlled her breathing, “You and he are friends. I
assumed you two still had lunch every week. Why was today so special.”

“Oh
Megan, I haven’t had lunch with him since you came home. I think Drew has a
good heart, that’s all. He’s just never had many people who care about him.”

She
cared, but that wasn’t good enough.

Lillian
continued, “I guess I thought our dinners would help make up for him not having
a mother. I never expected you two to get involved.”

Megan
finally glanced at her mother, the initial shock subsiding. She didn’t hate
Drew. She didn’t want to see him suffer or be the reason he lost someone
important in his life.  Closing the closet door, she rested her back against
it. “I never asked you to stop being there for him.”

“I
know, but you’re my daughter and your feelings will always come first.” Lillian
tossed the dog back in the box with a sigh. “You should have at least called
him. He deserved to know.”

“Are
you serious?” Megan couldn’t help laughing to keep from crying. “He used me.
Why would I tell him anything?”

“Honey,
I’ve been fortunate enough to have the love of two amazing, passionate men and
I know for a fact…the guy who was in my office today is not a guy that just
used a girl and forgot about her. He deserved to know.”

“Are
you crazy? It would have only made me appear even more pathetic.” Images of the
muscles along Drew’s arms flexing as he held his body above hers, thrusting
slowly into her, their eyes connected as well as their souls came rushing back
in constricting the air from her lungs the same way a snake crushes his meal. A
snake’s meal. Sex with Drew. It was a horrible thought; a thought she should
not be having while discussing one of the most challenging times in her life,
but honestly it was all she had of him, memories of sex.

Lillian
murmured, “He only knows how to make a woman feel good in bed, is that it?”

Megan
felt the heat crawl up her throat to her cheeks. “Please, it’s bad enough I
have to hear the not-so-subtle sexual comments swapped between you and Paul…”

“Well,
it’s what you were thinking, wasn’t it? How it felt to be consumed by passion?
Meg, don’t you want to have that passion in your marriage.”

“I
will. What I experienced with Drew was…”

Lillian
interrupted, “…mind-blowing sex.”

Megan
shook her head and focused on her feet. She didn’t want to talk to her mother
about the details of her personal life, especially her sex life.  There were
just some things, memories, you kept for yourself. “Yes, what he and I shared
was purely sexual. Lust. It wasn’t love and it was a long time ago. I’m no
longer that girl. Conner and I share something deeper, something that will last
a hell of a lot longer than just the desire to strip each other naked.”

“Have
you? Stripped each other naked?”

It
took her a few moments to answer. “No,” she finally answered rounding her
shoulder and hugging herself with the baggy fabric of her sweater as if she’d
caught a chill. Soon she would be married and the subject on sex was bound to
come up. Her words were spoken low, “What if Conner doesn’t like what he sees?”

Lillian
was there in a matter of seconds, her arms slipping around her daughters
shoulders. Meg buried her face in her mother’s embrace, horrified that she was finally
voicing what she had feared for months.  Lillian’s hands made comforting
circles over her hunched back. “Shh, it’s okay, you’re right. You and Conner
will figure it all out in time and he will think you’re sexy and beautiful, I
promise.  The sex will be just as mind-blowing. I shouldn’t have brought him
up.”

Megan
buried her face deeper, her sobbing changing over to laughter. This out-burst
of emotion was ridiculous, all because the mention of a name.  Jesus, he still
affected her two years later.

Later
that night the past came back to haunt Megan. It wasn’t unusual. Her
psychiatrist said it was perfectly normal, her way of working out the last two
years. She often woke covered in sweat and gasping, her heart racing as she sat
up in the dark. This night the dream was more vivid than most, every detail
replayed in her mind as the words ‘breast cancer’ paraded through her
subconscious.

“Meg?”
A fist pounded on the bathroom door, soft at first quickly becoming more urgent
when she didn’t answer. “Are you okay? You’ve been in there a while?” Conner’s
masculine voice called from the other side of the door.

“Yes.
I’m fine.” Tears slipped down over her damp cheeks. Water splashed, rippling against
her naked body as she lifted a hand to smear them away. She’d reach a new
height of pathetic.

The
door knob rattled and the door shook on its hinges as he pushed against it. “You
don’t sound fine… you’ve been crying, I can hear it in your voice! Unlock the
door!”

She
inhaled a deep breath, covering her eyes with a hand as her words came out
shaky. “I can’t… I threw up on myself and wanted to take a hot bath… deep
breath… I can’t get out of the tub, Conner. I’m sorry… ”

“What
do you mean… you can’t get out of the tub?”

“I
tried… but I’m too weak…I’m sorry!”

“Don’t
apologize! Hold on… I’ll find something to unlock the door.”

“NO!
DON”T! Don’t come in here! Please!” Gripping the sides of the tub she attempted
to push herself up again giving it everything she had, knowing she’d die from
mortification if her boyfriend seen her like this. Her arms shook under the
weight and gave out sending her floundering back down into the water.

“You
can’t stay in there all night… You’ll freeze to death!” There was movement in
the bedroom, noise of things being turned upside down, and then the sound of
him jabbing something into the lock. The door gave way and a male, 6’ 2” and muscular
came tumbling inside, panting.