Dead or Alive (2 page)

‘When's us next job?' asked Sharky.

‘I dunno. It's my guess it's gonna be a dissy plin job.'

‘Who's bein' dissy plinned?'

‘How the fuck do I know? None of us knows anybody else in this crew. All I know is we ain't been asked ter do a dissy plin job fer ages.'

‘Could be someone's been given a dissy plin job on us.'

‘Why would he wanna dissy plin us?'

‘Cos we been with him too long. It's the way these boss guys work. The longer ya with 'em, the more ya know.'

‘That's why I don't trust nobody in this crew.'

‘One more job and I'm on me toes,' said Sharky.

‘If this'd been a real hundred grand I'd have been on me toes already – fifty each.'

‘Man I doubt if there's two grand in this case.'

‘Which means Vince don't trust us,' Spud pointed out.

‘Shit!' said Sharky. ‘We is high on the list ter be dissy plinned.'

‘One more job an' we're out of it as soon as we're paid,' said Spud.

‘Correct. We take the money and run. I know a Fiji island where he won't be able ter find his own arse, never mind us. A man can live like a king on twenty dollars a day.'

‘I'm wid yer, man.'

‘We could take the diamonds and go now,' suggested Sharky.

‘Yeah, but what do we know about sellin' diamonds without Vince finding out and trackin' us down?' said Spud. ‘No. We take the diamonds to the man then he'll trust us long enough fer the next job.
Then
we disappear. We'll have done him no harm so why would he track us down?'

‘Because he's Vincent Formosa,' said Sharky. ‘And he is the world's most evil bastard.'

‘One more job then,' said Spud. ‘I reckon we can risk one more job.' He held out a hand and they agreed the deal over the dead Italian's body which they dragged under the first of the arches, the lowest of them all. It was choked up with long grass and weeds. They wedged the small man under the narrow angle where the arch met the ground and rearranged the grass and weeds over him. It would be a long time before he was found, which meant it would be a long time before a police investigation was mounted. Then they packed up the two cases and left with both money and diamonds just as they had been instructed by Vincent Formosa, who didn't like parting with money if there was an alternative; and murder, to Formosa, was always an acceptable alternative.

‘D
id you have any sympathy for Cyril Seymour-Johnstone?'

‘None whatsoever.'

Professor Jane Gilmartin lit a cigarette and stared down at Sep. ‘Do you even know what sympathy is?'

‘It's in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.'

Sep stared up at her, trying to detect a rewarding smile for his witty answer. There was none so he asked a question of his own.

‘Are you allowed to smoke in here?'

‘No.'

‘So why are you smoking?'

‘Because I make the rules for staff and inmates, not for me.'

‘Can't I be a patient instead of an inmate?'

‘You can be whatever you like, just as long as you behave yourself.'

‘I'll be a doctor then, gimme a cigarette.'

‘You don't smoke.'

‘I was thinking of starting. It'll be good for my health in this place.'

He'd been in the clinic for two weeks, having taken the alternative offered to him by the magistrates. It was either hand himself over to psychiatric professionals in a secure psychiatric unit until he was safe to be let out, or spend a minimum of three months in prison for threatening behaviour and criminal damage. The latter would have meant him serving his whole sentence in a local dispersal prison, probably HM Prison Armley, in the company of men who would all know he was an ex-copper, which is not a good thing to be in any prison. He might well have arrested some of them himself and they might be somewhat aggrieved over the matter and wish to seek retribution. Prisoners were often like that.

This option might have him back out in a month or so if he behaved himself and proved himself to be no danger to the general public – failure to do so would have him incarcerated indefinitely. Many hardened criminals wouldn't have taken such a risk and would have chosen the fixed-term prison option.

He was sharing a room with three other men, all of whom were bi-polar in varying degrees. Sep hadn't been diagnosed as yet but he knew the drill in these places. All he had to do was act as normal as the staff working there and they'd struggle to find anything wrong with him. He'd told them his story without displaying any paranoia or self-pity, just acceptance of a difficult set of circumstances. They'd tested his memory, his cognitive skills, his behavioural profile and his emotional intelligence. He'd passed these tests with flying colours. They didn't tell him this, but he knew by the mounting frustration on their faces caused by him being at least as normal as they were. Today he was in Professor Gilmartin's office for his first assessment, asking her the killer question he'd prepared earlier.

‘You don't really know why I was sent here, do you?'

He was to have weekly sessions with psychiatric professionals but Gilmartin's assessment was the important one. She could pronounce him sane and set him free. He actually liked her. She was fiftyish, overweight and plain, but she was likeable. She had a desk equipped with a computer and two monitors, a telephone and various bits of stuff he didn't recognize, but she chose to loom over him as he reclined on a couch looking up at her. She smiled down at him and said nothing, so Sep answered his own question, just as she knew he would.

‘I came here because the alternative was three months in the nick. I came here because I was wondering myself if I was a nutcase who deserved everything that was being thrown at me.'

‘I know exactly why you came here,' Gilmartin said. ‘It's my job to know such things. So, what's the result of your self-assessment?'

‘I'm happy to report that I'm not a nutcase and that I'm safe to be let out on the streets.'

‘That's your professional opinion as a doctor, is it?'

‘It is, despite the fact that you've surrounded me with genuine nutcases and I've got no idea what goes on in their heads, which brings me to my point: if I was one of them I'd know, wouldn't I?'

‘Not necessarily.'

‘I think it takes one to know one. I think you're keeping me here in the hope that you can turn me into a genuine nutcase and keep me here forever.'

‘And why would I do that?'

‘To fill up your quota of nutcases, thereby justifying your existence.' She chose not to answer, so Sep continued. ‘I tell myself that you've thrown me a challenge and I've accepted it. Of course there is a limit to how long I'll last before I crack.'

‘So you think you might crack?'

‘You mean I might have another nervous breakdown? Only an insane man could withstand these conditions which are clearly designed to make us sane guys crack, but I won't because I'm ready for you.'

‘I could give you medication for it.'

‘I wasn't ordered any medication by the court.'

‘It might help.'

Sep held out both hands which were as steady as rocks. ‘I'm the only one in this place who can do this without shaking, and as far as I can see I'm the only one in this place not on medication. Professor, with respect, you can stick your medication where the monkey shoves his nuts. I don't want to ever rely on medication. I don't want to end up like that guy in
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
.'

‘You mean McMurphy?'

‘That's him.'

‘And I suppose I'm Nurse Ratched.'

‘I hope not. But if I do have another breakdown, I don't want to blame it on my medication – or lack of it. I want to blame it on you.'

‘T
he BFB's arrived, sir.'

‘Any problems?'

‘Well, he's a bit overexcited.'

‘Really?'

‘And he's a big bugger, sir.'

‘Yes, I do know that, John. OK, I'm coming through.'

Sep pushed his chair back and got to his feet. The detective constable was speaking to him through the partially open door to his boss's office. He opened it wider so the detective inspector could hear the noise of raised voices. Reception was often unruly on a Friday night, but not this early. This noise wasn't the usual late-night drunks, they'd be along later. This noise came from one man – a man of self-importance who didn't want to be there. Despite his loathing of this man of self-importance, Detective Inspector Septimus Black knew it was his job to make sure he was properly dealt with and not unduly roughed up, as sometimes happened to suspected paedophiles, especially one with such a conclusive and sickening weight of evidence against him. The suspect, Cyril Seymour-Johnstone, aka the Big Fat Bastard, was not only a twenty-five-stone man-mountain but he was also a high-profile member of parliament who assumed that his position in society would afford him respectful treatment. But he'd never been in the care of the West Yorkshire Police before.

‘Get your fucking hands off me you shower of shitheads or I'll have your jobs, the lot of you!'

‘I think he's had a bit to drink, sir.'

‘Well spotted, John.'

Sep had no time at all for the BFB, but it was his job to treat him in a manner that would give the man's lawyers no cause whatsoever to question the legality of his arrest. Johnstone himself had been some sort of legal executive before he'd decided that politics was an easier and surer way to acquire the authority that had always desired. He had a large presence and large mouth with which he made a pretence of defending the working class – or the “lower orders” as he called them behind their backs. Of course when referring to them in public they became the “hard-working voters of this fine city.” People whose votes were easy to pick up because they didn't grumble much when all his ridiculous shouting on their behalf came to naught, as it invariably did. They felt themselves lucky to have such a high profile character on their side, and failed to see him as an incompetent, pompous, self-serving fool.

‘Calm down, Mr Johnstone. They're only doing their jobs.'

‘They should be out on the streets chasing real criminals and my name's
Seymour-
Johnstone.'

Sep ignored this because he wasn't in the habit of pandering to pretentious paedophiles.

‘We have good reason to believe you've committed many serious crimes, Mr Johnstone.'

‘Seymour-
Johnstone. Are you deaf?'

‘Until these crimes are properly investigated we're required to keep you here, charge you, and present you at magistrates' court on Monday morning.'

‘Properly investigated my arse! This is political! This'll be in the Sunday fucking papers, blackening my good name and the name of the party, you twat!'

‘Using obscene language at a police officer is an offence and will be added to your charges … Johnstone.'

The MP had now lost his “Mr” title. He would never get it back.

‘This is all to do with cuts in the police force.'

‘I don't believe your party has ever been in power.'

‘We have influence, you brainless twat! We can sway the vote. I have influence – influence with the Home Office, to which you lot of fucking wankers will have to answer!'

Sep decided to use his seniority to help deal with this obnoxious man. He stepped forward and took the place of one of his officers. ‘Let's take him straight through custody to the cells. We'll leave him there for a few hours until he's sobered up
then
we'll charge him.'

‘What? Are you saying I'm pissed?'

‘Well, Johnstone, you don't appear to be at your sober best,' said Sep, ‘but I'm happy to offer you a breathalyser test and a blood-test, if you wish.'

‘Fuck you and your breathalyser! It'll be fixed. I know how you bastards work.'

‘I'll take that as your refusal to take a breath or blood test, in which case we'll treat you as a hostile and intoxicated prisoner until we consider you sober enough to be charged.'

Johnstone had the sense to realize he was fighting a losing battle. ‘Just one twat please,' he sneered. ‘The other twats can let go of me.'

‘I'll handle him,' said Sep. ‘You two stay close.'

‘What is it I'm being accused of, twat?'

Sep was now losing his cool, such as it was. ‘I think you know what you're accused of. Having sex with under-age children as young as eight. You were caught in the act by my officers and we have statements from several of your victims. Now kindly do as you're told before I kick you in the bollocks!'

But he said it with such inoffensive equanimity that some of the other officers looked at each other, as if checking that they'd heard him correctly.

‘That's ridiculous!' Johnstone was shouting. ‘All these people are liars!'

‘Would you like us to call your solicitor?' asked Sep. ‘If you're as innocent as you say you are, a solicitor will have you out of here in a jiffy; otherwise we're keeping you here until Monday morning when you go to magistrate's court.'

‘You can't keep me 'til Monday! Twenty-four hours is all you get, you brainless twat! Don't you know your own rules?'

‘That's the limit we can keep you without charging you,' said Sep. ‘The CPS have already given us the green light to charge you with enough to keep you away from children for the rest of your life.'

Johnstone began to struggle again. Sep, himself no midget, took the MP in a tight headlock and bent him forward so that he was almost off balance and unable to struggle without further hurting himself. But the MP continued to struggle and it took all Sep's considerable strength to hold him. Then Johnstone gave a mighty shudder; his legs collapsed from under him. Sep had no option other than to lower him to the floor where the huge man lay face-up and rigid. His eyes were blinking and he was making gurgling sounds and drooling. He began to twitch and then convulse. Five policemen stared down at him. None of them felt inclined to give this serial child-abuser any help, least of all Sep, whose first aid expertise had never been great. He looked up and asked, ‘Anyone know what to do with him? Kiss of life, maybe. Or do we think he's just trying it on?'