Dead Ringer (19 page)

“What kind of food are you planning on serving, Rivers?”
Becca asked with a smile. Laura responded with the only thing that felt natural
in that moment. She reached over and wrapped Becca in a big hug.

November
16

Charlie

If things were bad before Sarah’s
letter was published in
The Chronicle
, then afterward they were abysmal.

Every single person in town knew the story. The first time
Charlie stepped foot outside his house on the day he was sent home from school,
some guy drove by and screamed, “KILLER!” out his car window. That was a week
ago, and Charlie had lost count of the number of people that had called him a
monster directly to his face. Those were the moments that kept Charlie up all
night every night—that and the fact that his mom could now barely look at
him.

Dr. Hayden had called her before bringing him into the
office to discuss the letter from Sarah, and she was waiting for him outside
when the meeting was over. Her face was serious, but Charlie could tell that
she’d been crying. That night, she sat him down. Charlie could still hear his
mom’s words ringing in his head.

“I’ve never been more disappointed in my life,” she’d said.
“This makes me feel like I failed as a mother.” She was speaking through tears.

Charlie swore up and down that the letter in the paper was
fake, but she said she couldn’t believe him given everything happening, and
Charlie could not blame her. It was his word against so much evidence, and he
couldn’t replace all that information with the truth.

Wednesday, Englewood’s soccer team would be playing against
Delbarton Academy, the number two team in New Jersey (number one being
Englewood, of course). This game decided who went on to the regional play-offs,
just two steps from the state title. It was the last game before Thanksgiving
break by tradition. Given the opponent, it was the most important game of the
year, if not Charlie’s entire career at Englewood. Delbarton’s player in Charlie’s
same forward position was Jeff Estramera, currently ranked second in the state—one
place below Charlie. He needed to focus. That meant ignoring everything but
time in the gym and time on the field.

At first he had been calling and texting Laura, begging her
to forgive him. He tried to explain that the letter was planted, someone was
trying to frame him, but it wasn’t working, and it wasn’t helping. Charlie
hated to admit it, but right now the only person truly on his side was Amanda,
yet again.

He met her for lunch at Clover that afternoon because
neither of them wanted to be in the cafeteria. Kit and Miller were almost
impossible to be around lately. She was always looking over her shoulder and he
dealt with it by giving anyone who came within ten feet a terrifying stare down.

“We need to talk about this letter, Charlie,” Amanda
whispered as they sat down with their lunches.

“Not here,” Charlie said. “Anyone could be listening.”

“Is the back patio here still set up?”

“I think, but it’s thirty degrees.”

“Do you have a better idea?”

Charlie was grateful for the fact that lunch was only thirty
minutes, and not just because he couldn’t feel his fingers. From the look on
Amanda’s face, this was going to be an intense conversation.

“We need to figure out who is doing this to us and we need
to make it stop,” Amanda said.

“And how are we going to do that?” Charlie asked. “Hire a
private detective?”

“Why aren’t you taking this seriously?!” Amanda yelled. “We
could go to jail for the rest of our lives! We have to do whatever it takes to
prevent that!”

“Like we had to do whatever it took to make sure Sarah
didn’t tell people the truth about us?”

Charlie was just as shocked by his response as Amanda
looked. He hadn’t realized until this moment that he blamed her for what
happened—for coming up with the idea and for having the kind of power
over him that made him play along.

 “Things got out of control that night, Charlie,” Amanda
said through clenched teeth. “I didn’t plan for her to die.”

“Are you sure?” Charlie asked. He could tell how much his
words infuriated Amanda, but he couldn’t stop.

“I would do it again, Charlie,” Amanda finally said. “And so
would you. Don’t you remember what we both decided right before that night?”

Charlie didn’t have to search for the memory. They were in
Amanda’s bedroom trying to figure out if her plan was the best way to ensure
that Sarah wouldn’t reveal the secret about Amanda that Charlie had told her
when he still thought she was Chelsea. The guilt Charlie felt over betraying
Amanda came washing back over his body, just as strong as it had that day two
years ago. “We decided that we’d rather die than have the truth get out,”
Charlie said.

Amanda nodded, sadly. “I still feel that way, Charlie. Do
you?” she asked.

Charlie’s instinct was to agree like he’d agreed with Amanda
countless times before, but something was pulling him in another direction
today.

 “I don’t know,” he heard himself say. The look on
Amanda’s face as those words hit wasn’t anger or sadness; it was fear. Then,
without another word, she got up from the table and walked away.

 Charlie took his time getting back to campus. He had a
study period after lunch, but earlier in the day Coach Stanley had asked him to
come by for a meeting to talk about Wednesday’s game.
Hopefully this will be
the distraction I need to make it through the next few days
, Charlie
thought as he walked into Coach’s office.

“How are you, Sanders?” Coach asked as Charlie sat down in
the chair opposite his desk.

“Good. Ready for the game. I watched some more tape on
Estramera yesterday, and I’m ready to take him on.”

“I can’t let you play, Charlie.” Charlie heard the words
come out of Coach’s mouth, but he didn’t process them at first.

“What?” he said, praying he misunderstood.

“I know you’re going through a lot, and I’m really sorry for
everything. I believe in you, Charlie. But that doesn’t change the fact that
you’re playing too poorly for me to put you out there against Delbarton
tonight.”

“Coach, I’ve been working on my focus, and I know I'll have
it back for tonight. You know I can get into the zone when it’s go time. I’m
there. I promise. I’m ready.” Charlie didn’t want to sound desperate, but it
was impossible to avoid. He
was
desperate.

“We’ll have you suited up and on the sidelines so you can
help out if Manchester needs some tips.”

“
Manchester?!
” Charlie was yelling now. “Manchester
can’t handle Estramera! I’m better than him in my
sleep
!”

“Calm down, Charlie.”

“I can’t! I need this, Coach. I need to play this game, and
I need to win this game. The recruits will be there, and they need to see what
I can really do. You have to play me. You have to. I’m telling you, I won’t
survive this if I can’t play tonight.” Charlie was shaking now, so much so that
Coach Stanley came around from the desk to put his arm on Charlie’s shoulder,
trying to calm him down.

“You will, Charlie. I know you will. Your mom wanted me to
talk to you about seeing Dr. Walter again. She thought that was helpful back
when…well…before.”

“
You
talked to my mother about me seeing a shrink?”
Charlie said. His blood was now officially boiling. “Did you enlighten her
about one of the reasons I needed to see one in the first place?”

“Watch it, Sanders,” Stanley said, but it was too late.
Charlie was beyond reason.

“What if I tell Hayden what
you
did to a student here?
Then we’ll see if he lets
you
participate in the game!”

Charlie could tell that it was taking Stanley everything in
his power not to shove him clear across the room. “I don’t know what you’re
talking about,” he said with lips so tight Charlie could barely hear the words.
“What I’m saying is that you don’t want to ruin your life over whatever is
going on.” Something about Stanley’ face in that moment finally made Charlie
snap back to reality. “Get some help, and then you can get back on my field.”

Charlie stood and grabbed his backpack.

“No one and nothing can help me through this,” Charlie hissed.
“My life is worthless without soccer, and you just took that away, too.”

* * *

Charlie assumed that Amanda wasn’t
speaking to him after their conversation earlier that day, but he didn’t care. His
car practically drove itself to her house after school. He needed to see her,
and he hoped that when she saw him the anger would fade for a second so that
they could talk about this whole mess.

An unfamiliar face opened the Hunters’ front door. She had
deep, deep black hair, wide eyes that were almost the same color, and a tiny
nose. Charlie felt like he recognized her from somewhere, but he couldn’t place
it. She looked like she was around his age, but he didn’t think he knew her
from school.

 “Hi,” she said. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, hi,” Charlie said. “Sorry. I’m Amanda’s friend,
Charlie. I just came over to drop something off. Can I come in?”

“
CHARLIE!!
” Amanda’s sisters screamed as they came
running out from the kitchen.

 “Right. Charlie,” the girl said. “I think I’ve heard
your name around here before. I’m Lexi, the new babysitter. Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” he said. “Do you go to Englewood?”

“No. I live a few towns away.”

“Cool. Well, I’m going to go talk to Amanda. See you around,
Lexi.”

“You will,” she said with a knowing smile.

Charlie smiled back uncertainly, then walked through the
foyer and up the stairs to the second floor. As he turned the corner to climb
them, he noticed that Lexi was still looking at him, still smiling. The Hunters’
nanny having a crush on him was flattering, but it was literally the last thing
he needed in the campaign to get Amanda to start talking to him again. Charlie
made a note to be less friendly to Lexi the next time around.

Charlie didn’t know what he was going to say once he finally
arrived at Amanda’s bedroom door, but before he could plan a careful entrance,
he heard something that overtook his nerves. Amanda was sobbing. Without
thinking, Charlie turned the knob, opened the door, and walked in.

 “What the hell are you doing here?” Amanda said. She
was sitting on her bed, wrapped in the pink blanket with gold tassels that Kit had
made her at summer camp the year before high school. Charlie remembered Kit
proudly presenting it among all the gifts she’d crafted for them when she was
away. He’d gotten a wood-carved stand for his vintage soccer ball collection,
and Miller got flints in the shape of hearts. Charlie could still see Miller
looking at the rocks, totally confused. All of that felt so far away now. Charlie
didn’t know if they would ever exist as that kind of friend group again.

Charlie stood in the doorway to Amanda’s room. She curled
back up into her blanket and started to cry again. He didn’t say a word, but
went over to the bed, sat down next to her, and put his arm around her
shoulder. Charlie was too numb to cry with her, but it felt good to be around
someone who understood exactly how destroyed he felt.

“I’m so sorry, Amanda,” Charlie said after a few moments. “I
never meant for this all to happen.”

Amanda could barely catch her breath. She couldn’t get a
word out. She just reached across the bed, grabbed her cellphone, and handed it
over to Charlie.

He looked at it. For a second, he honestly thought he was
going to throw up. On the screen was a picture of Sarah Castro-Tanner’s
bloodied face peeking out from the pitch-black water of the Navesink River. Her
eyes were wide open. She was dead.

“Who sent this to
you?!” Charlie asked, trying as hard as he could not to scream. “Look at the
top left corner of the image,” Amanda said, but Charlie didn’t need

to do that. He knew exactly what two
letters he was going to see:
CO
.

Charlie tried to make sense of the gruesome image. He knew
that Sarah had fallen, and he knew that the fall killed her, but he’d never
seen her face after it happened—the entire world thought no one had.
Apparently that was wrong. Someone saw her fall that night—CO, or Sasha,
or…maybe they were one in the same person?—and they must have taken this
picture as part of their eventual blackmail plan. But why now? And, most
importantly,
who
?

“Someone was there that night,” Charlie said.

“But maybe if they saw everything they would know it was just
a game? If they were following us all night, then they must have seen that we
invited her out to have fun,” Amanda said, trying her best to sound like she
believed that could be true.

“I don’t know,” Charlie said. “Would they be out to get us if
they really believed it was an accident?”

“Do you think we’re going to survive this, Charlie?” Amanda
asked. She was beyond the surprise of the photo; she looked exhausted. Charlie
wanted so badly to ease both of their fears, but he didn’t know if that was
possible.

“I don’t know,” he said, “but I want to believe we can. We’ve
survived so much already. Having the baby could have ruined both of our lives,
and it almost did, but we were strong enough to get through that.”

Charlie couldn’t believe he’d actually said those words out
loud:
the baby
. They hadn’t exactly been banned from conversation since
Amanda delivered a baby girl the summer after their freshman year, but Amanda’s
family and Charlie’s mom made it very clear that the story needed to be over as
soon as the adoption was finalized. They were supportive, even though they were
furious. Amanda hadn’t been due until late August, and she didn’t really start
to show until school was out for the previous year. She told everyone that she
was spending the summer at camp—even Kit and Miller—and they never
knew the truth. After that summer, Amanda slipped into a deep depression,
though she told people it was a result of an “illness.” The only person she
could be around was Charlie. Talking about the baby after all that seemed too
dangerous, and so it became like a terrible dream they forced themselves to
forget.