Authors: Jessie Rosen
Charlie
Laura’s grandmother’s house was
simple, but nice. Something about it actually reminded him of the house he and
his mom lived in before they moved to their apartment in Englewood. It was yet
another reminder that Laura was more like the Charlie that existed before he
got so wrapped up in Amanda’s world.
“There’s a really pretty waterfall that we can hike up to
about ten minutes away,” Laura said as they tossed their bags down in the
living room. “Do you want to maybe go there before dinner?”
Charlie grabbed Laura into a hug, then lifted her up and
spun her around. Before she could wiggle free, he carried her over to the big,
puffy, brown couch, tossed her down, and jumped on top.
“Or not…” she said as she leaned her face up for a kiss.
“I’m not sure why we’d leave this cabin when we have it all
to ourselves,” Charlie said, “but I’ll do whatever you want. I just want to be
with you.”
“Perfect,” Laura said, “Because that’s exactly what I want,
too.” She somehow managed to shift underneath him and flip his body over so
that she was on top instead. Laura kissed Charlie’s slightly scruffy chin
softly and sweetly. Then she moved her mouth over to his neck and did the same,
moving up with little pecks until she got to his ears where she lingered for a
second, using her tongue to trace the outline of that crazy sensitive part of
his body. Charlie felt like he was going to scream, but instead three very
unexpected words flew out of his mouth.
“I love you,” he said.
It was something he’d secretly felt for a long time, but
this special moment and the feelings moving through him made him confess. He
couldn’t remember a time where he’d felt more comfortable, and he didn’t want
to let it pass by.
Laura didn’t even move from where her mouth was directly
next to Charlie’s ear. She just whispered, “I love you back,” kissed him one
more time, and then hoisted herself off of his body.
“Wait. Where are you going?” Charlie asked.
“You’ll see,” Laura said as she grabbed her overnight bag
and walked toward an open door at the back of the cabin.
“So are we staying here, or going hiking?” he asked.
“You’ll see,” she said again, and then she slipped behind
the door.
Laura
Laura stood in front of the
full-length mirror in the bedroom where she had just changed and stared into
her own eyes. “This is it,” she whispered.
Of course, she didn’t really know if that was true. Laura
had a plan for how the entire evening would unfold, but that relied on one very
key component. Charlie had to confess the one piece of information that she needed
in order to really, truly control him and, more importantly, Amanda. If that
didn’t happen, then the rest of the mission would have to wait. Laura would be
disappointed because the plan had been for this all to come together on the
anniversary of her death, but it was not worth taking the next step unless she
had all the pieces to make sure it would completely work. Though, if what
happened between them on the couch a few minutes ago was any indication, things
were going to come together perfectly.
“Good luck,” she said to the mirror before opening the door
that led back out into the living room. But Laura didn’t really believe that
luck had anything to do with it at this moment. It was will, strength, and a
lot of pure genius.
“Sorry about that,” Laura said as she approached Charlie,
who was waiting patiently on the couch.
From the look on his face, he didn’t mind whatever confusion
he’d felt when she left him for that back room. Laura watched as his eyes went
from the top of her little, red negligee to the bottom, clocking every piece of
skin he could see through the very sheer lace inserts at the chest, ribs, and
hemline.
“You look…I…
wow
,” was all Charlie could get out.
“Thanks,” Laura said fake-shyly. “I’ve been wanting to wear
this with you for a really long time. I actually bought it a long time ago, but
then everything happened and…well…let’s not dwell on all that stuff.”
"Definitely not,” Charlie said. He stood up and pulled her
into his arms, kissing her hard while he grabbed her hair with both hands. He
wanted her, bad. The moment was perfect.
“Hold on one second,” Laura said.
“Is something wrong?” Charlie asked.
“Kind of. I’m sorry to stop you. It’s just, I was taking so
long in there because I’m not sure about sleeping with you.”
“Oh,” Charlie said. There was a tone of obvious
disappointment in his voice. “I mean, that’s fine, of course. But why?”
Laura fiddled in place for a second, just to make it seem
like she was internally wrestling with the issue. “I feel like there’s no way
to explain it to you unless I confess something I found out,” she finally said.
“Shit. That doesn’t sound good.”
“Can we sit down?”
Charlie felt all the air leave his lungs, but he tried his
hardest to pretend it was fine. He was trying to be the good guy. Laura
wondered how long that would last. “Yeah. That’s fine. Let’s sit.”
“Thanks. I’m trying to focus on the present and not the past
so maybe I should just say what I know, and we’ll figure it out from there.”
“Please,” Charlie said. “Just say it.”
Laura could tell that she was making him incredibly nervous.
A little shot of excitement coursed through her body at the realization of just
how much more she had to share.
“Okay,” she said. “Here it goes… I know that you and Amanda had
a baby together.”
Charlie was shocked—his eyes raised and his face kind
of fluttered. But Laura felt like the look was actually more relief than
terror.
“Oh, God, that,” he said. “I thought…never mind. How do you
know that?”
“I feel awful telling you this now,” Laura said. “I never
should have waited this long, now it’s so awkward—me sitting here, half
naked.”
“Here,” Charlie said, wrapping the blanket from the couch
around her bare shoulders. “Don’t feel awkward. It’s just me.”
“Thanks,” Laura said. She was genuinely impressed with
Charlie’s show of chivalry. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as hard as she
thought. “So…that person Sasha told me. She sent me an email like she was doing
to all of you. I thought she was just trying to keep us apart, so I didn’t know
whether or not to believe it, but she swore to God it was true.”
“Sasha knows,” Charlie said to himself. The news was
obviously terrifying.
“I’m really sorry to be the one to tell you,” Laura said.
“But there was something so weird about it that it made me worry about going
any further with you. She said you did it for another guy, whatever that means.”
“What?” Charlie asked. Laura couldn’t tell for sure but she
thought she could see his hands instantly start shaking.
“Those were her exact words. ‘Charlie did it for another guy,’”
Laura said. Is someone controlling you, Charlie? Is all the stuff that happened
with Sarah because of some friend you’re trying to protect? Or someone in
Amanda’s family? Or maybe your father? I haven’t been able to stop thinking
about it since I got the email the other day. That’s why I wanted to cancel
this trip and just stay home after your mom’s schedule changed. I was so
scared. Because if this person is controlling you, and you’re with me, then
maybe they’ll want to hurt me, too!”
Charlie wrapped her shaking body into a hug, though she could
still feel his body vibrating as he held her. Little did Charlie know that she
had practiced that speech over and over again, hoping for this exact reaction.
“No one is going to hurt you,” Charlie said. “The person who
did this to me wasn’t after me. He wanted Amanda. And now that we protected his
secret, he’ll never touch her or anyone else again, I hope.”
“That’s good,” Laura said. “Who was it?” She asked it
casually, hoping the question would catch Charlie off guard and he’d forget
that he wasn’t supposed to reveal the answer. But Charlie was silent. Laura
started to panic. This was the name she needed to blackmail Charlie into doing
everything she had intended to do next. If he didn't confess, then she had
nothing.
There was a world in which she could beg for the answer. She
had planned to tell him that she wouldn’t sleep with him until he said the
name, but now Laura wasn’t sure if that was going to work. He had his hands
around her waist, but wasn’t trying to touch any other part of her body.
“Can I trust you, Laura?” he said after what felt like a
whole sixty seconds.
“Of course,” she replied, hoping to God he couldn’t see the
giant smile that had just crept onto her face.
“It was my soccer coach. Stanley.”
A warm calm came over Laura’s entire body. She had done it,
finally.
“He raped her?!” Laura asked, making sure to stay fully in
character. Though this time she truly wasn’t faking the response. Laura knew it
was another man because Charlie told “Chelsea” all those years ago, but she
didn’t know it was a teacher almost twenty years older than Amanda.
“Amanda thought they were in love, but what he did to her was not okay,” Charlie said, rubbing his forehead.
“He doesn't know that he's the father, though.”
The second Laura heard that, everything made sense. Amanda
couldn’t tell because it would destroy her entire family’s reputation—from
her father the mayor to her grandfather the senator, everyone would be
affected. It would destroy her world.
“You lied for her?” Laura asked. This was a genuine
question. She’d always had a feeling that Charlie wasn’t telling the truth
about the baby back when he told “Chelsea,” but she never really understood why
he would protect Amanda after she did this with his coach, behind his back.
“For her—to protect her and help her—and for
myself,” Charlie said with a look of deep regret on his face. “We thought it
would make everything easier, and that it would keep both of our lives on
track. Then, once we lied, we had to keep lying.”
Laura understood that part. Stanley would be fired from the
team, which would affect Charlie’s soccer career, but that would also reveal
that Charlie lied to protect his coach, which was a criminal offense. Laura
knew that from all the research she’d done before blackmailing Andrew.
Andrew.
Once the name crossed her mind, Laura became
even more fueled to complete what she started with Charlie. Stanley did to
Amanda what Andrew did to Laura. The only difference was that Amanda intended
to let her villain win with Charlie’s help.
They destroyed Sarah’s life to
protect that secret
, Laura realized. The entire cycle needed to be stopped.
“Thank you so much for telling me all that,” she said to
Charlie as she took his hands into her own. “I’m so, so sorry it all happened
to you. You’re an incredible guy, and you don’t deserve any of this. I’m going
to make sure you never get wrapped up with something like this ever again.”
Laura kissed his hands gently before interlacing his fingers
with her own. He took her hands and wrapped them behind his chest so that her
face was where it had been before she slipped into the bedroom to start this
whole scene. Then Laura picked up right where she left off, kissing him quietly
on the neck before running her tongue up and down his ear. Soon she would walk
him slowly back to the bedroom. Laura decided that Charlie deserved to have a
little fun before his entire world came crashing down. If only he knew who he
was actually taking to bed.
Charlie
Charlie had never been anywhere as
nice as the restaurant where Laura arranged for them to go, and he was nervous.
Not only did the old suit blazer he’d worn to every soccer banquet since
freshman year make him feel totally out of place, but he was also pretty sure
everyone in the restaurant was staring at them because they were so much
younger. He did not understand why they weren’t just staying in the cabin and
ordering a pizza. It had literally been painful to drag himself out of the bed
where he and Laura had enjoyed what was definitely the best thirty minutes of
his entire life. But this was her special tradition, and he didn’t want to
disappoint her after everything she’d just done for him.
But on the drive over to Laura’s special spot, Charlie got a
text that ruined his mood even more than leaving the bed.
He hadn’t told Amanda that he was going away with Laura, and
now Charlie felt even guiltier. He didn’t deserve to be on vacation with his
new girlfriend having sex and dining at some fancy restaurant. It was wrong,
once again.
Charlie replied with a simple “
Can’t. Sorry
.” He
didn’t have the energy to come up with a solid lie right now.
Unfortunately, Laura wasn’t helping. She grabbed his cellphone
out of his hand after she saw him nervously scrolling through random texts
under the table. She ordered some insane appetizer with squid ink that cost
more than any entrée at any restaurant in Englewood, and then she got the
waiter to bring them two glasses of champagne, claiming it was their
anniversary.
“Your grandmother must have had a lot of money,” he said to
Laura as they perused the menu.
“She saved every penny for things like this,” Laura said.
“She was a foodie before there were foodies.”
The restaurant sat on a beautiful river with a waterfall cascading
over giant rocks, but their table was positioned directly in the middle of the
room, so they could barely see it. Charlie hoped the meal would make everything
worth it because right now all he wanted to do was leave. The one saving grace
was that Laura looked incredible, so he didn’t have to concentrate on the room
or anything else.
She wasn’t nervous at all around all these rich people in
this formal room. Charlie had spent enough time around Amanda’s family to
experience some seriously fancy restaurants, but he still felt awkward. One of
the things that he loved about Laura was that she didn’t do awkward. She had
been to this restaurant before, but she would have acted just as casual and
confident if it was her very first time. She didn’t care that all the other
woman were wearing boring dresses with blazers that made them look like they
were about to go to a seminar or something. She was wearing a low-cut, red
dress with a giant, sparkly pin right at a spot on her chest that made it
impossible for Charlie to stop staring.
“It’s from the 70s,” she said when she came out of her
Gram’s bedroom dressed for the night. “My Gram was obsessed with the 70s, so I
got this dress in honor of our weekend doing all her favorite things.”
That was another incredible thing about Laura—she was
always thinking. She always had a plan. She didn’t just slug through life doing
what everyone else did or wearing what they wore. She was totally and
completely original, and she didn’t care what anyone else thought about that
fact. If Charlie had learned one thing from this entire crazy experience with
Sarah Castro-Tanner, it was that caring what other people think was dangerous.
He did what he’d done to Sarah because he was so scared that she might reveal his
secrets, but that was all because he was terrified to shatter the image of his
perfect life and perfect future. The truth was that Charlie was far from
perfect. And he was growing weaker by the day because of the guilt of all his
lies. What if he had told the truth from the beginning? All along he felt like
he’d been protecting the more important elements—his future, Amanda’s
future, and her family—but they destroyed Sarah’s life in the process and
let Coach get away with a serious crime. From now on, he was going to try as
hard as he could to be his honest self, always. Now felt like the perfect time
to start.
“Can I tell you something?” Charlie said.
“Of course,” Laura responded warmly. “It’s just like I said
about everything you told me earlier: it’s more important to me that you’re
honest rather than perfect, Charlie.”
“I know. I feel weird saying this, but I’m having a rough
time today because it’s Sarah’s—”
“I know,” Laura said, interrupting. “I was thinking about
that, too. I actually didn’t want to bring that stuff up about Amanda and all
before because I figured it was already a hard day. We can leave if it would
make you more comfortable.”
“No, no,” Charlie said. “I’m okay. I just wanted to tell you
how I feel. I never used to share my feelings like that—well, only one
other time…with that Chelsea girl…you know, the one Sarah made up.”
“What made it okay to talk to Chelsea like this?” Laura
asked.
“I don’t know. She was just always honest and real, and she
didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought,” Charlie said. Then he looked up
at Laura with a smile. “Like you.”
Laura smiled back sweetly, and then raised her champagne
glass.
“In that case, I’d like to propose a toast,” she said.
“To what?” Charlie asked.
“To Sarah Castro-Tanner,” she said. “Sarah helped you
realize you like girls like Chelsea, and I’m like Chelsea, and now we’re
together. So that’s one thing to thank Sarah for.”
“Sure,” Charlie said. “That’s true.” He raised his glass,
clink
ed
it against Laura’s, and took a sip. Something about toasting to Sarah actually
made him feel better—like he was thinking about her in a positive way on
the day she died.
“What else did Sarah help you do?” Laura asked. “We could
honor her right now at our super fancy dinner. Every girl appreciates a little
attention, even a dead one.”
Laura’s choice of words struck Charlie as odd. She was maybe
too comfortable now, but in the spirit of full honesty, he gave it some
thought.
“Um, she taught me that it’s okay to be really upset and to
tell people about it. To get help.”
“Excellent!” Laura said, and they
clink
ed glasses
again. “What else?”
Charlie didn’t have an answer. This was starting to feel
weird, plus he knew that he couldn’t say too much without revealing things that
Laura still did not know.
“Um, that’s good,” he said. “I actually feel better now.”
“Come on, Charlie,” Laura teased, “You can do better than
that. This girl
died
today
and you were kind of involved, from what
little I know. Go there! Say something really nice about her!”
Laura was getting all excited now, which just made Charlie
more nervous.
“She was quiet…and smart?” he said.
“
Boring
!” Laura said, then she slammed her glass down
on the table. Her face shifted to a very serious look. “Do you know what I
think your problem is, Charlie?”
“What?” he asked. He could feel his face getting hot as his
nerves returned.
“I don't think you’re sad about Sarah dying. I don't think
you liked Sarah very much at all, and you’re happy she died, but you also feel
really guilty about that.”
Charlie didn’t know what to say to Laura. Any response
except for “
you’re right”
would have been a lie, and from the totally
crazed look on her face, Laura would know.
“And
that’s
why you can’t get over any of this,”
Laura continued. “Because you can’t say what you
really
think about her
to anyone. But what if you could say it to me? I can take it. I’m your
girlfriend. I love you. I want you to get better so we can move on.”
“Yeah,” Charlie said, but only because Laura paused and
looked at him like he’d better say something.
“Good. So let’s do this. Pretend
I’m
Sarah. Pretend
I’m right here sitting in front of you. I didn’t die. I’m alive and well and
you can finally tell me everything you’ve wanted to say for exactly two years.
Now, say it.”
Charlie’s heart was racing. He could feel his heartbeat
inside his fingers, that’s how fast his blood was pumping through his body.
Half of him wanted to get up from the table and run away, but the other half
wanted desperately to do exactly what Laura suggested—to finally say all
the things he wanted to say to Sarah but never could. Somehow, the second half
won out.
“I’m sorry,” were the first words out of his mouth.
“
Sarah
,” Laura said, “I’m sorry,
Sarah.
”
“I’m sorry, Sarah,” Charlie said. He was trying to keep his
voice down because they were still in the middle of a busy restaurant, but he
could feel the energy pushing him to be louder.
“That’s it?” Laura asked.
“No. I’m sorry because I hated you so much after you lied to
me that I did all the wrong things.”
“What wrong things?”
“I told my friends half the truth. I said that Sarah tricked
me.”
“‘
You
tricked me,’” Laura corrected. “Remember. I’m
Sarah.”
“
You
tricked me by pretending to be Chelsea, but I
didn’t tell them that I fell for it completely, and that I was really mad
because Chelsea was the first person I really loved and she wasn’t real. No one
had ever tricked me like that before.”
“So what did your friends do after you told them?”
“They told me—well, Amanda told me—that we
needed to teach her—” Laura eyed him. “Sorry—
you
—a
lesson so you would never do it again.”
“What was the lesson?”
“We scared you.”
“How?”
“We pretended for a week that I forgave you, and that I felt
bad for you and wanted to help you be more normal. And then we took you to hang
out with us one night, and then we scared you.”
“How?”
Charlie stopped. This was the end. He couldn’t say another
word of truth or he would be confessing it all.
“We yelled at you…and threatened you,” he said.
“No, you didn’t,” Laura said.
“What?” Charlie honestly wasn’t sure that he heard Laura
correctly.
“That’s not what you really did.”
This time Charlie froze. What did she mean? What did she
know?
“You took me to the Navesink River Bridge.”
Charlie did not move a single muscle in his body.
“And then you told me we were going to play this game of
trust falls. And first Miller held Kit out over the bridge and she trusted him
to grab her legs while her head dangled off for thirty seconds until he pulled
her back up. And then you dangled over while the three of them held you. And
then it was my turn, and you held me by yourself, and after thirty seconds you
were supposed to lift me up.”
“What…? How…?” The minute Charlie opened his mouth to say
those jumbled words, he felt his stomach churn. If he opened his mouth again,
he was sure he would throw up.
“But then thirty seconds passed and you didn’t pull me up.
You leaned over and screamed in my face about how dumb and evil and cruel I
was. Amanda said I was a freak and that if I ever talked to you or your friends
again, you would kill me. Remember that part?”
Charlie nodded. He didn’t understand what was going on. It
was like he was sitting inside some terrifying movie scene.
“And then what happened, Charlie? Tell me.”
Charlie shook his head “no.” He couldn’t speak.
“TELL ME!” Laura yelled. At least a dozen heads turned in
their direction. “Or I’ll make you tell me with all of them listening,” she
said.
“She fell,” Charlie whispered.
“
You
, Charlie. Remember. You’re talking to Sarah
still.”
“You fell. You slipped out of my arms and fell into the
river.”
“Slipped?” Laura asked. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Charlie said. He was certain of that part. Everything
he’d done up until that point was wrong and dangerous, but Sarah had really,
truly slipped. He did not mean to make her fall. His grip was tight. Somehow
her legs just turned and slipped out. He didn’t try to kill her; it was an
accident.
“Wrong,” Laura said.
“No,” said Charlie, “She slipped. Or, you slipped. Whatever.
I’m telling the truth. I promise. I did not let go on purpose!”
“I know,” Laura said. “But I didn’t slip, either. I wiggled
out of your hands on purpose.”
“What?” Charlie said, bewildered. “No, she didn’t. Why would
she do that?”
“To teach
you
a lesson.”
“So then, she did really kill herself?” Charlie asked.
“No.”
“I don’t understand. What are you saying? And how do you
know any of this? What is going on?”
“She didn’t really kill herself because she’s still very
much alive. And I know all of this because
I am her
.”
Charlie’s body jolted him against the back of his chair. It
was instant, like his muscles had already taken in what his brain could not yet
understand. “Ha…wha…I…” He could not form a single word.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, Charlie, so I’ll try to make
it simple. I’m Sarah Castro-Tanner. I didn’t die that night. I had a ton of
surgery to transform myself. And then I came back to Englewood as Laura Rivers,
tricked you into believing I was a real girl, made you fall in love with me,
and now here we are. There’s lots more to it, but I feel like that’s enough for
now.”
Once again, Charlie’s body acted before his mind. He leapt
up from the table, grabbed his coat, and ran away as fast as he could.