Dead Stars (2 page)

 

This is where the end of cancer begins!

 

When together we become a force unmistakable

A movement undeniable

A light that cannot dim!

When we take our wild impossible dreams

 

And make them possible,

Make them true . . .

when together we rise as one.

When we stand up -

when we Stand Up To Cancer . . .

 

——it was
her
time,
hersurvivor
time, her mom loved watching Laura Linney have C on TV, kancer was in the
air
, kancer was hot, Telma wanted someone to orchestrate the swag, the kancerswag, copyrighted back-to-school backpacks, journals and calendars just like Taylor Swift, she wanted to go kancerdashian, entrepreneured greeting cards and keychains with hands in the shape of
s logos, t-shirts, headbands & lunchboxes, maybe her own
zero to hero
clothing line, bandaids & babypowder & pajamas & K(ancer)-Mart pajama jeans, maybe even design the bottles the medicine comes in——the wheels were turning . . .

. . . everything old is new again
————

She got a big idea and maybe the genesis of the big idea had something to do with Lea Michele and (an unannounced) Barbra Streisand dueting on “Children Will Listen” at the NMJC! Ball (
No More Juvenile Carcinoma!
) at the Beverly Hilton—she was supposed to be there but that was the weekend she went with her mom to the White House——maybe it had something to do with Miley Cyrus, Drake, Jeff Bridges (Gwen
loved
Jeff Bridges), Chris Colfer (Telma
loved
Chris Colfer) and Rihanna taking the stage at that very same event . . . maybe it had something to do with (an unannounced) Steve Perry joining all the above ½way thru “Don't Stop Believin'”——or maybe it had something to do with the upstart Canuck's malicious personal best . . . because Telma wasn't interested in the silver: she wanted Olympic gold.

Whatever
it had something to do with, she already had that tried & true familiar tingly feeling in her tummy, same as when Christina Applegate flew her & two other hersurvivors (dubbed “The Pink Bucket Brigade”) to Louisville to lipsynch dance a raucous, hypomanic “Single Ladies” at KFC's lavish corporate HQ “Buckets For the Cure” Breast Cancer Awareness Brunch.

So her idea was to be on
Glee
.

Not as a guest, and not as a
Glee Project
loser doing a 4-part consolation arc. No way!

To be on
Glee
—
permanent cast member
.

They already had cripples and fags and fat sexless mountainous black monsters & whatever. They needed a spunky funny pretty girl being stalked by an unseen predator, the one that would come for us all, it'd be like Lea or Heather or Matthew suddenly got a fatal disease. It would be
hot
and awesome, & it would
rock
.

With newly minted brainstormy resolve, the fear receded—that wild, vicious little-girl-fearing-littler-girl poison fear—not rescinded but softly retreated, soaking her to the bone in
Ellen
ish Hope, & the ajar world opened wide like an awesome fragrant flower blooming in the night.

EXPLICIT

[Reeyonna]

Everyone's a
*

(*and deserves the right to twinkle)

Reeyonna's

mother insisted she go with her to the Central Library for an
event
. She rolled her eyes and took more pills.

“You're going to go, Jerilynn, and you're going to like it. And
no
texting
. For one whole hour.”

She used to call herself Jeri but it'd been Reeyonna for a while now. Mom was the only person left who called her by the hideous birthname. She could h8t on her twice—for calling her that, and for naming her that.

Friends sometimes called her Ree, for ReeRee (the singer's nickname tho Rihanna spelled it
RiRi
; Rihanna's closest friends/family called her Robyn). Every girl at middleschool had a mad crush on the Rihannaissance Woman, with different cliques having different ogle alerts: Rihanna fashionwatch, (secret)body(spray)watch, hair&wigwatch, chrisbrownwatch, S&Mwatch. Ree liked RiRi way more than Nicki—Nicki was awesome, she was genius, an amazing actress, a
comedienne
, OMG that song
shitted on em
was so hardcore
,
LMFAO, but Nicki was kind of cartoony, she liked being cartoony, all that Barbie stuff + she had that cartoony Kardashian ass—but Rihanna was a
woman
, not that Nicki wasn't but maybe Rihanna was
more
of a woman. Sometimes it was just too hard to relate to Nicki, like she was moving too fast or whatever, but you could always relate to Rihanna, or aspire to be like her, or relate to aspiring to be like her. Plus she was more upfront sexier than Nicki, or maybe it's just that she was more upfront about sex period, you never really heard too much about Nicki's hookups, maybe Nicki had some hangups, but Rihanna was
out
there. ReeRee & her friends didn't like what Chris Brown did but they all
loved
Chris Brown & didn't care if they were fucking again as long as he didn't hit her, everyone thought it was swank when Rihanna changed the restraining order so it wouldn't interfere with Chris performing at award shows Rihanna was at because before she changed it he couldn't be like within 100 yards of her meaning he couldn't even go to the same award shows she went to even if he was nominated, swank that she could move on & swank that she told all the hashtag h8trs to
back the fuck off
. Besides, no one could dance like Chris flying thru the air on the VMA, Reeyonna'd been getting stoned and watching that performance every day for a year now——& that youtube of him dougie-ing OMG it made her cum,
Sex in the air
I like the smell of it
, she was sure they'd get back together one day, a fairytale that began grimm but frogprinced in the end, Ree just wished she'd seen the hacked foto of his dick Chris sent her to make nice but Rikki couldn't find it on the Internet.

One day ReeRee wanted to be in a magazine with perfect abs, perfect tits, perfect tatts. Rihanna had about 20 of them so far, she & Chris Brown got matching
s, how awesome was that, hers was on the back of her neck, his behind his beautiful little ear. She kept it after he beat on her but added more stars. How awesome was that. (She loved the idea of getting a
somewhere, maybe near her pussy, she loved the Marilyn quote Lindsay had
everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle,
Lindsay had a
on her wrist too and a
live without regrets
and
clear as a crystal sharp as a knife I feel like I'm in the prime of my life
on her ribs but Rikki said rib tatts hurt like fuck no matter how loaded you got.) Ree had the idea to get one of those totally lifelike portrait tatts of her baby when it was created (the Kardashians used
created
instead of
born
), which was only like 7½ months away, no one but her 2 BFFs even knew she was pregnant, them and her bf Rikki. ReeRee wanted to get her baby's face on her arm or thigh or even maybe on her ribcage below the tit, they could do tatts of photos so amazingly real and eerie, she saw one on an old
LA Ink
, a gal got her nephew on her shoulderblade, he was thrown from the car & died when they were hit by a drunk——maybe a poem on the ribs that swept below her
, like in keltic or Hebrew or maybe in Buddhist, lots of movie stars had those, but how could you even pick a poem, there were so many? The trouble with getting a baby pic or a poem under your tit was one day your tit would sag & cover the pome ;(

Reeyonna googled what celebs had, Angelina had one about praying for the wild at
—Ree wanted something
trés
femme
on her back, not the usual disgusting tramp stamp but like a psalm from the Bible, or whatever about a biblical woman————huge-ass angelwings like Natalie Portman in
Black Swan
? or maybe was that Mila. Natalie probably doesn't have any in real life, she's the kind of girl who's too beautiful to get tatts. Angelina's beautiful too but tougher, Natalie you just want to protect.
I love you Natalie!
ReeRee thought it might be awesome to have something hardcore for the top of her butt (Rikki called them
ass antlers
) or the side of the V right above her puss or maybe wrapped around her thigh—something tight like a snake or barbed wire or lyrical like from a song by Drake or Eminem or even the bible that would be so tight—she imagined everybody clicking on her TMZ slideshows, looking so fly, topless or in a black&white Chanel bikini diving off Jay-Z/Beyoncé's (Queen B's nickname: JuJu) yacht (dubbed by Ree the
HMS Bed, Bath and Beyoncé
) in Martinique or Sardinia or Cannes (a circled ZOOM-IN pic of Ree's fresh raised-up skinswollen
tatts, which would do in her mind until she found the right pome/lyric), with her new Justins friends Timberlake/Theroux/Bieber, Natalie (Ree & Jujubee & Natalie could share the same nanny for their babies), and Gwyneth & Reb'l Fleur, which is the nickname meaning
wildflower
given to Rihanna by her grandma, & the name of RiRi's fragrance developed by or maybe just in partnership with Jay-Z. Nicki & Beyoncé & Kreayshawn/Katy Perry/Gwen Stefani had fragrances too (& Marc Anthony, but you could only get it at KOHL'S!!!!!!) . . . . . . . she put Snoop, Kreayshawn & Usher on the yacht, and Adele, and Rikki of course, Rikki the b.f., Rikki the current&future father of her child,
their
child (soon to be Blue Ivy's bff), tho maybe instead of its babyface tatted on
her
it'd be tatted on Daddy instead, right on his sixpack, totally officially transforming him into awesome BFFF (
Best Friend Father Forever
<3<3<3<3<3) . . . . . . it'd be good to have him on the yacht to look after their baby if the nanny was busy with the others', Ree didn't want to be worrying about changing diapers, not while she was gangbangin with Eminem and Skylar Grey——&
Sasha Grey
too, like that video Rikki showed her!!!!! Reeyonna sat there in the Central Library auditorium & tripped on getting fucked by Drake/Dre & Fiddy, and that freak Yelawolf too, DP'n til dawn. She thought it'd be weird getting fucked by Lil Wayne, probably a taste you had to cultivate, she thought he was so sweet but he was a
ugly
-looking nigga, like a devil, she wondered if he had bodystank, but if she tried which she sometimes did when she was up in the trees getting fucked by Rikki she could make herself come thinking of that youngmoney cashmoney cock . . . she told herself (still in her little reverie) that if her b.f./father-and-husband-to-be hooked up with Rihanna she'd be hella tight with that
;D
——in her fantasia she put a few others on the boat—Jennifer Lawrence & Emily Watson & Robert Pattinson and Kristen, at the OBGYN she read a
Vanity Fair
saying they earned 25 million each for the last two
Twilights
which made them by far the poorest on the
HMS Bed, Bath and Beyoncé!!!!!
(in Ree's dreams she and Rikki always had around 100 mill + another 35 coming in a year from where she knew not, the music business/movies + merchandizing/concerts/spatial appearances.) Now Nicki was on the yacht too, right? And Ye & Kim Kardash . . . . . Rikki could Nickifuck
and
Kristenfuck too, Ree told herself it was only fair, she'd fuck Kristen too, Kristen Stewart was
hot,
she didn't usually go that way but now & again she'd fool around with her BFFs who were all shall we say
slightly broadminded
, she'd fuck Kimmy K & Skylar Grey & Nicki & Jenny L———broadsminded broads on the mind
Heh heh heh