Deadlands Hunt (17 page)

Walking upstairs, Sally whispered, “We’re going to get married, Amy.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“How are we going to decide who sleeps where?” The blond frowned.

“We can share a room. I mean, the two of us and… Peter and Chase?” Amethyst suggested after a glance showed the hallway empty. Sally smiled in agreement.

*

“Oh, no. I’ll share a room with Bran, or have one to myself.” Curtis scowled at Kyle. “You snore.”

“I snore? Me? Hah! You snore like a dragon.”

“Just pick a room,” Chase told them, following Peter into the one they’d been informed they’d be sharing while the two women disappeared into the bathing chamber. “And keep the noise level down.”

“Are you certain this is a good idea?” Peter turned as he shut the door. “It’s not really proper, you know.”

“Maybe not to you, but it’s tame by our standards.” Dropping the saddlebags onto the floor, Chase collapsed on one of the beds. “I’m too tired to do anything but eat and sleep.”

“Well, there is that,” Peter agreed, sitting on the other bed. “And I suppose we’ll be chaperoning each other.”

“Yeah.” The Weren closed his eyes. “Wake me up when it’s our turn for a bath.”

He was asleep less than a minute later, leaving Peter alone with his thoughts.

*

Dinner was a quiet affair, taken in the common room while ignoring curious stares and whispers. Amethyst noticed and the activity caused worrisome thoughts to percolate through her exhausted mind.

It will always be like this
, she realized.
Wherever we go, there will be stares and whispers. People will be constantly gossiping and speculating about us
. Pushing her plate away, she rose. “I think I’ll retire early.”

Chase almost stood up, but thought better of it. “You didn’t eat much.”

“I’m more tired than hungry.”

“All right. Good night, Amethyst.” The others echoed the sentiment, and she managed a weary smile before walking to the stairs. Once in the room, she changed into a nightgown and lay down. In Taryton, Chase would be out of place. Just as much as she would be in Rockshelme.

It doesn’t matter
, she thought.
It doesn’t. I can endure such attention, to be with him
.

However, her worries continued even after sleep arrived, filling her dreams with warnings.

*

Over the next few days, Chase noticed her slow withdrawal and decided that it was because he hadn’t yet spoken to her. He should’ve, considering they were back in what passed for civilization, sharing a room and bed.

Plans were needed, because his pack had to return to their patrol. He needed to send notice they’d be leaving the service.

However, Peter and Sally announced their intention of marrying immediately, so that took precedence as everyone helped with the hasty preparations. Extremely hasty; the young couple married that very afternoon. Another room came available, and Amethyst took it, leaving him to move his things to the one Curtis had claimed.

Temporary, Chase thought, accepting the turn of events with a shrug. After the impromptu celebration, he escorted her upstairs and kissed her good night. The Weren had trouble falling asleep, listening to her tossing and turning in the next room.

He intended to speak with her the next morning, but woke to a missive that demanded aid for Hondo, which was having problems with orcs. Amethyst hadn’t yet come down, nor had the newlyweds. “Go saddle up the horses. I’ll take care of the bill and need a few minutes to talk to Amethyst.”

“Going to finally make your offer?” Kyle grinned in anticipation. Returning it, Chase nodded and congratulations were given. Laughing, he fended them off.

“She has to agree first. Go on, I think I hear her coming.”

His pack hurried out, leaving him to watch the head of the stairs. Doubt took hold. Would she agree to go with him, so that they could get married in Hondo? Or would she want to wait here, for him to return?

Either is fine
, Chase decided as Amethyst appeared, wearing the buckskins he loved seeing her in. But his doubt grew when she didn’t smile while coming down the stairs. He stood, waiting for her to take a seat. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Chase.” She didn’t sit down. “The maid said you’d received news of some sort?”

“Yeah. We have to head for Hondo immediately. They’re having some trouble with orcs.” Licking his lips, Chase studied her face. “I wanted to talk to you. About us.”

“I…” Amethyst looked down, clasping her hands. “All right.”

“I know we haven’t known each other long, but we’ve been through a lot together,” he began, uncertainty blooming.

“Yes, we have,” she quietly agreed, still staring at the floor. Chase raised a hand, touching her chin to urge her to meet his eyes. “What’s wrong, Amethyst?”

“I’ve been thinking about this - about us.” Her blue eyes were damp.

“And?”

"I'm afraid," Amethyst miserably admitted. "I'm afraid I won't be what you need."

"All you need to be is you," Chase replied, feeling a chill take hold in his heart. "That's all I need."

"But this… this isn't me," she protested, a sweeping gesture indicating the britches and shirt. "I'm a city person, accustomed to a safe life behind strong walls. To things like running water, and shops, dressmakers, and servants, teas and balls. I don't know how to cook or even sew anything useful, Chase. I don't know the things that are required in order to survive a life outside walls."

Slowly, carefully, half-afraid she'd draw away, Chase caught her hands and studied the backs of them. They were marred by scratches and bruises. Turning them over, he gazed at the half-healed blisters and the rawness of the rope burn cutting across her right palm. Despite the abuse they'd seen and survived during the days in the Deadlands, her hands still felt soft and fragile in his.

Reluctantly, Chase listened as his heart told him there was something to her fears. The shape shifter knew Amethyst would always be enough for him. Yet he also realized that life as his wife might not be enough for her. Directing his gaze up, he met the blue ones he'd grown to love looking into and found in them her willingness to follow him in spite of her words. He knew, without a doubt that if he asked her to, she would go with him.

The Weren quailed at the thought that time might prove he wasn't enough for her, wouldn't be able to give her all that he felt she deserved. Chase realized that he couldn't ask her. It wouldn't be fair, asking her to leave everything she knew behind to live among strangers for the rest of her life. Releasing one of her hands, he reached up to brush away a wisp of hair from her bruised left cheek.

She'd gone through too much already, learning the truth of her sister's death and fighting to survive all the travails they'd faced in the Deadlands. Even in his home territory, survival wasn't a guarantee. No, he would have to accept the fact she'd be better off returning to the life she knew. Swallowing hard, he said, "I want you to be happy."

"That's what I want for you," Amethyst responded quietly, holding his gaze with an effort that hurt. "I..."

Whatever she was going to say was lost as the Weren moved a bit closer and lowered his head. Their lips met in a lingering, tender kiss. Chase hoped that it told her all the things he couldn't say. That he loved her and always would. That he would come if she ever needed him for anything.

"It's all right," he said softly after ending the kiss. Forcing a smile to lips that felt as though they never wanted to smile again, he added, "Go home, Amethyst."

With that, he released her other hand and did the hardest thing he'd ever done; turned and walked away. A part of him hoped she'd call him back, give him an excuse to be selfish. The rest hoped that she wouldn't.

"Chase." It was a faint whisper and the Weren pretended he hadn't heard it while continuing to cross the wooden floor to the door.

Amethyst gazed after him, torn between relief and a deep, terrible sense of loss.
This is the right choice
, she thought as the door shut behind him.
It is, for us both
.

Isn't it?

Twelve

Curtis pushed away from the wooden column he'd been leaning against as Kyle and Bran straightened up on their horses. The three exchanged looks when Chase closed the inn's door behind him. "Where's..."

"Let's ride," his pack leader interrupted, striding across the porch.

"Wait, Amethyst isn’t coming?" Bran asked, looking confused as Chase took the reins of his horse.

"No." Chase mounted, not looking at any of them. Kyle scowled at the door of the inn. "Never figured her for a..."

"Shut your mouth!" Chase's snarl cut him off before he could finish. More calmly, he admitted, "I didn't ask her to."

"Why not?" Curtis was the one to voice the question. The burly shape shifter cringed back, catching a glimpse of tortured eyes under the brim of Chase's hat. The other ducked his head, and Curtis silently stepped off the porch to climb aboard his own horse.

Four black horses wheeled about and left the inn's yard, breaking into a gallop once on the street.

*

The coach pulled out of Adersol, heading north and trailing a thick plume of dust. Peter and Sally traded a worried look at the blank expression on Amethyst's face as she stared out of the small window.

She wasn't seeing the land rushing by, but a pair of pale, gold eyes filled with sadness and love. 'Go home, Amethyst' he'd told her, and with those words, the red head had known he'd agreed with her. They both knew she'd end up failing him.

Hand curling into a fist, Amethyst wincingly savored the pain the movement caused in her wound. She hadn't failed him then, when it had counted. However, the future would lead to more chances to do so, and failing Chase was something she never wanted to face. It would destroy something in her if it did happen, so it was better not to risk it.

She was returning to her safe life and maybe there'd come a day when the pain of watching him walk away would lessen enough that she'd marry someone. Children were supposed to be fulfilling and Amethyst supposed it'd be nice to have one or two to spend her days with.

"It's better this way," she murmured.

"What did you say, Amy?" Sally's question startled her; Amethyst looked across the coach at her. After a few seconds, the red head pasted a falsely cheerful smile on her face.

"It'll be good to be home, don't you think?"

*

Being home wasn't exactly what Amethyst expected. She'd thought it would feel familiar and safe, the city wrapping a blanket of security around her.

Instead, it overwhelmed her as a stream of callers and invitations to teas and dinners arrived. She felt like everyone was avidly assessing her reaction to Brian's death. The Werens were barely mentioned, since all three of them responded to any remark with the fact they'd been very nice people.

It was a week after her return when Amethyst found herself with enough time to sit and write to Chase. Staring at the blank notepaper, she wondered what to write. She was certain he'd want to know they'd arrived safely and that she thought of him.

Amethyst suddenly realized there were many things she wanted to say, now that the chance to do so face to face was gone. He was living the life he was suited for, and she had returned to the one she was accustomed to, or had been. It now felt strange to her. She supposed the feeling of strangeness would fade with time and she could return to her old habits.

Setting the tip of the pen to paper, she began to write. Whether or not he'd respond, Amethyst didn't know. She couldn't even begin to hope for a reply for a month or more, knowing it took three months to travel from one end of their patrol territory to the other. The only place she knew she could send a letter was the inn at Adersol.

Later, having sent the letter off, Amethyst set herself to relearning how to live her normal life.

The one that seemed empty without a pair of pale gold eyes to gaze into as she pleased.

*

Sliding off his horse, a weary Chase told his three companions, "I'll check."

A little over two months had passed since they'd last been here. The Weren winced at the memory as he stepped onto the inn's wide wooden porch and crossed to the door. The sharp, cold pain he'd felt in his heart that day had faded to a deep constant ache at the absence of his red haired love.

Pulling the door open and entering the common room, he was surprised by the smile on the innkeeper's face as he hurried out from behind the bar. "Welcome, my lord. Two rooms and stabling for four horses, if I remember correctly?"

"Yeah, thanks," Chase replied, the ready welcome unexpected.

"Done. I have a letter for you, from the lady you guided. Been nigh on three weeks since it arrived. I put it in my strongbox for safekeeping, so I'll retrieve it while you tend your horses and have it waiting for your return." Now feeling a surge of excitement, Chase smiled in response and the man beamed back.

The Weren nodded and turned to leave, his heart suddenly light. Amethyst had written to him! Maybe she'd changed her mind.
Or maybe
, Chase thought as his euphoria took a nosedive,
she's in trouble and needs me
. The thought filled him with worry as he stepped back out onto the porch. "Let's take care of the horses."

"Got rooms and dinner I don't have to cook?" Kyle asked as all three straightened up.

"Yeah." A faint frown appeared on Chase's face. Curtis asked the question they all wanted to.

"What's happened?" The change in Chase was obvious. His shoulders had lost the defeated looking slump they held for the last two months and his expression was more alert.

"There's a letter from Amethyst waiting on me when we get done."

Trading suddenly hopeful looks, the three Weren hustled their horses across the yard while Chase followed more slowly, leading his.

*

Holding the envelope with almost reverent fingers, Chase quelled the urge to rip it open and discover the contents as they trooped upstairs to their rooms. Once in the one they would share, Curtis excused himself after dropping his gear on the floor. As soon as the door closed, Chase ran a fingernail under the edge of the wax seal holding the envelope closed and broke it off.