Deadly Bonds (8 page)

“I profile criminals. Dig deep into their psyche. I’m good at seeing beyond the facade most people present to the world.” His gaze was piercing as he looked at the other man. Sara released a breath, uncertain what had caused the tension between the men, other than her brief discussion of John.

John’s smile was lopsided. “Well. Sounds like an interesting job.”

“It does,” Sara agreed. Holt’s gaze swung to her and stayed there. He winked as if they shared a secret. Realizing John was watching them with interest, she cleared her throat. “Well, you were right about Jeremy and Theo. In fact, I believe they’re best friends.”

John looked surprised. A calculated gleam entered his eye as he looked back to Holt. “Guess we’ll be seeing more of each other then.”

“Maybe.” Holt was a man of few words.

Sara hid a smile. “I hope we’ll see Jeremy at the tryouts for the Academy’s first fall play. It’ll be a great fundraiser for the new auditorium.”

“Ah yes, I’ve heard your plans, but there won’t be a new theater. The board agrees we need to direct funds toward hiring more advanced instructors.”

She stiffened. “I hired three very capable teachers this summer. In fact, the new computer science instructor just updated the entire computer network at the Academy and it works like a dream.”

“Many of the teachers simply aren’t up to Ivy League standards. It’s your job to be more selective.”

“I think she’s doing a fine job,” Holt interjected. Sara hid her shock. After so many years opposing each other, it was a surprise to have him in her corner. “And if you think the school is subpar, why do you keep your kids there?”

John’s face turned red. “It’s a family tradition. And my sons will get into their college of choice.” His gaze met Sara’s. “I’m certain of it.”

Though her stomach hurt at his subtle threats, Sara refused to be cowed. “Our students won’t be up to the standards of those schools unless we give them a well-rounded education.”

“With a drama department? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Giving them an outlet like that is important, just like adding sports to our curriculum offerings was important. Neil certainly enjoys the benefits of the new facilities.”

“Well, I can tell you Jeremy won’t be part of it.”

Though her face felt as if it might crack, Sara held on to her stiff smile. “But he was so good at memorizing his argument in the debate competition last spring. And he seems comfortable on stage. He’d be a natural.”

“He’s not interested.” John looked over his shoulder. “I see someone I need to talk to.” After a brief nod of acknowledgment to Holt, he slid off his stool and walked away without even looking at Sara.

She took a long sip of wine. “Something I said, I guess.”

“No.” Holt eyed John across the room. “I know his type. He’s a bully.”

A weight shifted on her shoulders. It wasn’t gone, but it felt a bit more comfortable to carry around. Someone recognized what she was up against. Someone sympathized. And it was someone whose sympathy she’d never expected, and therefore was all the more precious. “Guess we might be friends after all.”

Holt studied her and gave a slow smile that sent heat through her body. This wasn’t how the best friend of a dead woman should behave with the widower, especially on the anniversary of that friend’s funeral.

Abruptly, she pushed off her stool. “I have to go.”

Holt’s eyes widened. “You’re leaving?”

“I think I’ve talked with just about everyone.” And she didn’t want Holt to remember the topic John had interrupted. “I should get home. Thanks for the drink.”

She hurried to her car without a backward glance, gulping in the cool night air. Crickets chirped in a chorus of sympathy.

Elizabeth
,
I’m so sorry.
Sorry Elizabeth was dead. Sorry Sara was the one who was able to enjoy Theo’s everyday successes. Sorry she was still, after all these years, attracted to her friend’s husband.

She made it to her car before hot tears rolled down her cheeks, and drove to the Academy in a haze of memories. Sara had watched Holt from afar for months, and fallen hard in one night.
One damn night.
A night that had been interrupted when Elizabeth had arrived and stolen the show—as always.

Sara hated the bitterness she tasted when the old jealousy flared. The fact that Elizabeth had seen Holt as her ultimate conquest made it worse. Sara hadn’t been aware of the sibling-like rivalry Elizabeth had felt toward her, but once Elizabeth set her sights on something, she got it.

And then Sara had done the unthinkable. She’d wanted to test whether the spark she’d sensed between Holt and herself had been real or a figment of her imagination.

The Spring Break party Elizabeth had organized had been in full swing around them, and people had filled the three-bedroom apartment she and Elizabeth shared with another senior. Sara found herself hiding out in her own bedroom, unwilling to watch Elizabeth wrap herself around Holt one more time. Jealousy gnawed at her belly, a constant ache that was only eased by distance. So Sara tried to take the high road and disappear. It was getting late, anyway, and her head was slightly hazy from the lemonade-and-vodka concoction one of their friends had placed in a cooler on their kitchen counter.

“Oh, sorry,” Holt said from the doorway. “Didn’t realize anyone was here.”

Sara sat up on her bed and crossed her legs under her. “No, it’s okay. Were you looking for me?” Surely not, but her heart did a ridiculous pirouette anyway.

“Just needed a bit of quiet for a phone call.” He held up the cell phone in his hand.

“You’re welcome to make your call here.”

Whether he deemed it impolite to leave or was seeking the shelter of a quiet place, he stepped into her room and shut the door most of the way. Boisterous laughter and thumping music filtered through the open crack, but it was muted by Holt’s presence. Every one of her senses seemed attuned to him.

“I can leave if you want privacy,” she said when he simply stood there, looking at her as if he were trying to solve a puzzle.

“It’s okay. I can do it in a minute. Are you okay?” His brow knit with concern as his gaze swept over her.

“Yeah. Just needed a break from—” She waved a hand toward the party.

Holt nodded his understanding. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you, anyway.”

“Have a seat.” Her tiny bedroom had no chairs, so he sat next to her on the bed. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
Do you want to run away with me?
Because I can pack a bag in five minutes flat.

“I feel bad about that night at the bar.” It had been only a month ago, but everything had changed. He was dating Elizabeth now. “We were having a great time, and I feel like I ditched you.”

“Well, you kind of did.” She laughed to show it didn’t hurt her, but it had. Elizabeth’s beauty and natural charisma had dazzled Holt. Sara had always known her friend was more popular, and it had never bothered her. Until now. Why did Elizabeth want Holt, anyway? Focused and serious, he was the antithesis of the man she typically preferred.

He brushed a hand over the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know I don’t have that spark guys are drawn to.” Though, like bugs to a flame, that spark often led to their downfall. Would Elizabeth play with him and leave him like the others? It hurt Sara’s heart to think that was Holt’s fate. But it also made her angry at him that he would fall for that.

“That’s ridiculous.” His words were just forceful enough to be believed.

“Whatever.”

“No, really. Is that what you think, that you’re plain next to Elizabeth?”

She stared at him as if he didn’t have a clue. Because he didn’t. “Yes. But don’t feel sorry for me.” Pity was the last thing she wanted from him. “I know I have other talents.” She slowly leaned forward as she spoke, not sure what she was doing until she’d done it. But she’d dreamed of kissing him for months, even more so since their encounter in the bar. Holt held still, a look of uncertainty and, yes, desire on his face.

And that was when she kissed him. He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t respond at first. Then his lips moved, ever so slightly. In an instant, they turned hot and questing. His mouth slid over hers, branding her. Heat and need coiled together in her belly. With a moan, Sara opened to him and pressed closer, her breasts brushing his chest. Though layers of fabric separated them, her nipples puckered in reaction. His arms came around her, his hands blazing a trail down her back.

Do it.
Touch me.
She willed his fingers to lift the edge of her shirt and touch her skin, to pull her closer and make her his. A low moan, almost a growl, sounded in his throat and her heart leaped. She was breaking through the wall that had gone up between them.

He jerked away suddenly as the noise of the party became louder. Caught off balance, Sara nearly fell off the bed. Elizabeth stood in the open doorway, scowling.

Holt pushed to his feet. “Elizabeth...”

Elizabeth looked from his flushed face to Sara’s and her frown disappeared. She turned to Holt and ran a hand over his chest. “Would you get me a glass of that lemonade stuff, honey? I’ll be along in a minute.”

Without a backward glance, Holt did as he was asked. Sara watched him leave, feeling suddenly adrift. “It wasn’t what it seemed.
I
kissed
him.
”

“Oh, I know. I just didn’t want to see you embarrass yourself by throwing yourself at him any longer.” Elizabeth’s pity was so thick Sara could choke on it. Tears pricked her eyes. “Just so we’re clear. He’s ours.”

“Ours?”

Her demeanor sobered suddenly and she bit her lip. “I think I may be pregnant.”

“What?” The ball of tension in her stomach expanded, threatening to push the lemonade-vodka back up her throat. For Elizabeth to be pregnant...Holt had, indeed, fallen fast and hard for her best friend. The first layer of bricks went up around her heart.

“I haven’t told him yet, because I’m not sure. But I’m becoming more sure every day. And I’m scared.” Her eyes brimmed with fear. “I’ll need him, Sara. He’s a stable man. Someone who will keep me grounded.”

“Right. Well, maybe you shouldn’t be drinking the spiked lemonade then, either.”

Elizabeth’s look turned hard. “I’ll do what I need to. Stay out of it. You’ve always wanted what I have, but this time you’ve got to get your own life. Maybe it’d be best if we kept our distance for a while.”

A week after graduation, Elizabeth and Holt married in a small church ceremony. Sara hadn’t been invited, and hadn’t wanted to attend. She’d still been heartsick. Still roommates through the end of the semester, she’d endured enough glimpses of Elizabeth’s new life—the prenatal vitamins
innocently
left out on the kitchen counter, the stack of wedding invitations, and the picture of the happy engaged couple ready to be submitted to the newspaper—to convince herself she was a horrible person, and that Elizabeth had been right. She’d wanted what Elizabeth had.

She still did.

It had been a competition, and Sara hadn’t even realized it until later, looking back. Despite their brief, intense connection, Holt had been lost to her forever.

She’d certainly felt something in that kiss...but apparently it had been one-sided. Her cheeks flamed with the memory of how mistaken she’d been, and how her tunnel vision had led to the ultimate humiliation when Holt had walked away without another thought.

But she refused to harbor old regrets. She never would have been happy with Holt, as he clearly preferred the sparkle of women like Elizabeth. Vibrant and full of life, Elizabeth had been a free spirit but also flighty and undependable. But always intensely passionate. Sara couldn’t compete with that, nor had she wanted to be at odds with her friend.

Sara pulled into the parking lot at the end of the drive and nearly ran inside the school, rushing up the stairs as if her past were chasing her down, nipping at her heels. She slammed her apartment door behind her and took several deep breaths.

An only child, Sara had found a sister in Elizabeth. And then she’d blown it. And then she’d lost her parents a few years later. Another chance blown. Then she’d purposely blown up her marriage to a sycophant control freak who’d never understood her and liked to lose himself in the bottle. It had been a desperate grab for compassion and connection when she’d married Dillon. They’d fooled each other and themselves.

Then she’d finally grown up and found herself.

She moved to the cupboard in her kitchen and took down an unopened bottle of tequila. The good stuff. Top shelf quality—nothing but the best to celebrate the memory of Elizabeth’s life on the first anniversary of her funeral. And to chase the bitter taste of jealousy down her throat.

She poured a generous shot into a juice glass and searched the refrigerator drawer for a lime. Putting a wedge on the side of the glass, she was about to carry it to the couch where she could indulge in a good mope when there was a knock at the door. She must have left the front door of the school unlocked in her rush to get to seclusion.

“Yes?” she called through the door.

“Sara? It’s Holt.” She opened the door to find him there, catching his breath. He gestured to the stairs. “Quite a climb.”

Had he run up the three flights? “What are you doing here?”

“You raced out of the bar so fast...I wanted to make sure you got home okay.”

“I’m fine.”

His glance moved to the glass in her hand and he frowned. “I see that.”

She lifted it in salute. “Yeah, and I was about to be a lot finer.”

“Or a lot more messed up.”

“I figured tequila was the best way to honor Elizabeth’s memory.”

His eyes darkened and he started unzipping his jacket. “I’m in.”

“What?” She didn’t point out that she hadn’t invited him to join her pity party.

“If you’re remembering Elizabeth, I want in. Who understood her better than the two of us? Besides, I wanted to talk to you about Theo. You fled before I could mention it.”

“I’m warning you I won’t be good company tonight.”