Deadly Expectations (69 page)

“I’ll tell you later … we’re looking after you first.”
 
I opened my arms and she fell into me letting me gently hold her.
 
I could feel Damian’s child in her.
 
I felt terrible.
 
Part of my job was to let that happen.
 
It was why I’d stopped demanding that Paul do something to help her but I didn’t know until I dreamed of her last that this was how it would end.

“Sshhh,” I whispered by her ear.

Alina struggled not to cry.
 
No wonder the policeman couldn’t tell how much alike we looked.
 
Her face was swollen up so much already and I could feel lumps on her back from the blows.
 
I cried quietly too.

“I’m here Alina … I’ll take care of you,” I looked up at the paramedic she had called James.

“I think her arm is fractured,” he said.
 
“It was all she would let me touch before she tried to send us out.
 
But she’s refusing transport.
 
She knows better.
 
She admits women who are only half as bruised as she is.”

“No James,” Alina said and I put my hand on the back of her head.
 
Lumps there too.
 
I blinked back tears while she couldn’t see my face.

“Alina … what if we don’t go to your hospital?
 
I’ll be with you the whole time.
 
They already know someone hurt you and refusing care now is only hurting you more.
 
The man who did this doesn’t give a shit.
 
He wants you in pain.
 
Please?”

“I can take her to a different one,” James said.
 
“Alina … it’ll stay quiet.”

“No.” Alina said again but I could tell she was ready to go.
 
She was just too headstrong to back down now and just needed a little push.

“Alina,” I said.
 
“Remember when you snuck outside early Easter morning and picked up all the candy mom had hidden?
 
Then you said you saw Kenny doing it?
 
Remember how much trouble he got in?”

Alina didn’t say anything.
 
She knew where I was headed.

“If you don’t go I’m telling Dad and he’s going to make you fly home and come clean.”

“I can’t believe you’re still holding that over me.
 
I gave you half so you’d keep quiet,” she hissed.
 
I glanced up at James.

Thank you, he mouthed as he started clearing off the top of the gurney for her.

“And now I’m back to blackmail you with it in front of the police.
 
You’re going to let James look at you and then take you for a ride in the pretty limo he brought all the way up here.
 
These nice people have other folks to help tonight and now you’re just being stubborn and holding them up.”

“Fine,” Alina said trying to sound angry.
 
If going to the hospital had to be my fault that was fine with me.

I hid my bag in her room and got our wallets.
 
The other paramedic asked her questions while James looked her over.

“You know you’re going to x-ray Alina, any chance you could be pregnant?”

“No,” she insisted.

“Alina …
”
 
I
warned her and she looked at me pleading then her eyes dropped.

“I am,” she whispered.

James patted her knee and got her on the gurney.
 
She acted tough sitting down but she couldn’t even stand on her own.
 
I locked up her apartment on the way out and pulled the blanket up so she could hide under it if she wanted.
 
If any of her neighbours were around this time of night they could think I was her at least.

She was so embarrassed that she wound up with someone like Damian.
 
I thought of Catherine.
 
She believed he was a good catch at first too.
 
But Damian didn’t beat her to keep her alive.
 
He beat her to kill her.

At the hospital they took her in before they would let me join her.

“I’m glad you showed up to talk her into going,” it was James.
 
“Anna is it?”

“Yes … Anna Richards.
 
I can out stubborn her any day of the week,” I told him.
 
“How can a man do that much damage to a woman without breaking all her bones?”

James shook his head.
 
“Practice.”

I felt sick.
 
“I hope I find him before the police do.”

“If you do, call me … I want in on that,” he was sincere.

“I will … thank you.”

When they finally let me in they had made her comfortable.
 
Her arm was wrapped up.
 
They were going to hold off on the x-ray and treat her like it was fractured.
 
Her doctor said she would be in a few days while they monitored the baby.
 
Alina looked unhappy about that.
 
There was nothing they could do if she lost it other than make sure she didn’t lose too much blood.

“Anna … I’m going to ask them to take care of it while I’m here.
 
I don’t want any part of that man around me ever again.
 
I’m so mad that he left it behind to keep hurting me.”

I sat on the side of the bed and held her hand.
 
Then I put it on my stomach.
 
She looked away.

“I met someone last spring,” I told her.
 
“Another photographer working the bike shows and rallies.
 
We shared a hotel every chance we got until August.
 
Nothing serious, no commitments … no promises.
 
Then he called to tell me he couldn’t see me any more.
 
I didn’t think it would bother me but it did.
 
I’d fallen in love.

“A month later I found out about her.
 
We’re having a girl.
 
I went after him to tell him.
 
I loved her already and even if he could never see me again I would do the best I could for her all by myself.”
 
I laughed a bit.
 
“Honestly I was more afraid of telling you that I’d gotten myself in trouble than of raising her alone.

“He’s American, in the reserves.
 
He was shipping out and thought that saying goodbye was the decent thing to do.
 
Neither one of us expected anything long term but he didn’t feel right just disappearing.
 
I moved in.
 
We got married.
 
He’s away for a while so I came to see you.
 
I’m sorry I didn’t call first … but you know I never do.”

I got a little smile out of her.
 
So I put her hand on her stomach.

“I know you loved your baby already when you suspected … and you did when you found out for sure.”

She sighed.
 
A little tear started to grow in the corner of her eye.

“I know you loved him all the way home to tell that animal.
 
You were already set to give your little one everything he would ever need and more,” I lowered my voice.
 
“I know that you tried to protect him when that man hit you … I know you still love your baby.
 
And he’s yours now Alina … just yours.
 
You’re giving him your best already and everything that he’s going to grow up to be will be because of you.

“You’re not alone Alina … mom would be proud that we both have a chance to use everything she taught us.”

“You’re right Anna,” she whispered.
 
“I don’t think I could have gone through with it.”

“I know,” I told her.

After a few hours they moved her upstairs.
 
There were two beds in the room and the other was unoccupied so they let me stay with her.
 
I watched her sleep for a long time.
 
When I woke up I was in the bed and she was watching me from the chair.
 
Her bruises were changing colour already and the swelling was going down.
 
I knew that I had been asleep for a couple of days.
 
Damn.
 
I had no idea how to explain that to Alina or if I should even try.
 
I’d obviously been admitted so she’d had the doctors here up to something.

“Anna?” she sighed with relief.
 
“We couldn’t wake you up.
 
It’s been two days.”

“I know … can we go now?”
 
I asked.
 
I felt fine and wanted out.

“No,” she said.
 
“The neurologist is going to want to see you again.
 
You have everyone stumped.”

“Alina … I’ll check in with my doctor when I get home.
 
I promise.
 
I was just sleeping.”

I pushed myself up out of bed and started on the tape holding the tube to my hand.

She held my hands to stop me.
 
She was mad.
 
Disrespecting any doctor was disrespecting her.
 
Just because I knew what was going on didn’t mean that I could run out on her.

“Please,” she said.
 
“I’m worried about you.”

And scared to go home, I thought.

“How long do I have to stay?”
 
I asked.

“If they don’t find anything wrong you can leave today.
 
I know you don’t like it here.”

I gave in and lay back down.

“I’m starving,” I told her.

She was right.
 
There was nothing wrong so they let me out with a promise to see my doctor as soon as I could.
 
We were able to get her in to her apartment without anyone seeing her and I got her tucked in bed.
 
They had given her something for pain before we left the hospital and she had a prescription.
 
She gave me her bank card and I went to fill it and get some groceries for us.
 
She usually stuck to takeout as much as I used to so there wasn’t much in her kitchen.
 
As she slept I put everything of Damian’s down the garbage chute to the dumpster in the basement.
 
There was nothing of his that would identify him other than the sizes.

After we got in bed she whispered to me he had raped her.
 
Held a gun on her and raped her.
 
He bit her shoulder so badly they had to sew up the tears.
 
The bad bruises on her back were from the gun.
 
He hit her with it.
 
It was what fractured her arm.
 
Nobody would ever want her now with his bite marks in their face every time they got in bed with her.
 
She hadn’t told the police about the rape and made me swear I wouldn’t.
 
I knew it wouldn’t change what she had ahead of her to recover so I promised.

I fed her and held her.
 
Alina was so broken inside.
 
The outside healed quickly like I had but inside her confidence was gone.
 
She didn’t go back to work.
 
No plans to either.
 
She wouldn’t even leave her apartment and hid anxiously in the bedroom if I had to go out for anything we needed.
 
I thought about giving her my gun when I was out but she was more likely to panic and shoot me so I kept quiet about it.
 
Eventually I started getting groceries delivered.

I slept in her bed with her, one of us holding the other.
 
Her nightmares woke me and mine woke her and sometimes when I couldn’t get back to sleep I would sit at her table and wonder when I would finish what I had come here to learn or do and could go home.