Dear Adam (28 page)

Eden slumped in defeat. “No, Adam. I would
never force you to do it, knowing how much pain it would cause you.
I would hate myself if I did that to you.”

She started crying.

“
Eden,” he pleaded. “I’ll
get a phone number you can call so if you can’t reach me through
Skype, you’ll have another way.”

“
Get a phone number? What
about the number you have now?”

“
This number will be yours
alone. The others are for business acquaintances, friends. Those
who don’t mean as much to me.”

“
You have more than one
number?”

“
I have four.”

“
Four. You know who else
has multiple phones? Criminals. Drug dealers.”

“
It’s not for illegal
purposes. I have a phone number for people I only do business with.
One for friends and relatives. One for people I don’t want to hear
from but I’m forced to be in contact with occasionally. And I still
have my UK number. So that makes four. It will be five when I get
the one that’s just for you.”

Eden shook her head. “It’s like you’re giving
me a temporary number so that if we don’t work out, you can just
dispose of it and you won’t lose all your other contacts.”

“
That’s not true. I wish I
could explain to you better but I can’t. Please understand that
it’s for your own good.”

“
My own good,” she
repeated. She felt drained all of a sudden. “When will we meet,
Adam? You’re talking about building a life but we still haven’t
made plans to meet. Is it all just a fantasy?”

“
Eden, we’ve been through
this before. We have to be patient. We aren’t merely talking about
building a life. Every day we are doing just that. Why do you think
I’ve cleared my calendar? Except for work, I spend my time with you
or doing things in preparation for being with you, for our future.
You don’t even know how seriously I’ve taken my promise. All the
steps I’ve taken behind the scenes to make our life a
reality.”

“
I can come see you next
month,” she said in a hopeful rush. “You have to stay in Sicily
because of your business. I understand that. So I’ll fly to you. I
have a one-week window at work and my dad can come over and stay
with Dante. Since I didn’t take a vacation this year, I have a
little bit of money for plane fare and a hotel. I’ll fly coach and
stay somewhere reasonable.”

Again there was silence on the other end.

“
Alright,” he said slowly,
seemingly stunned. As though he had come up against an unforeseen
problem. “But are you simply coming over here to see if I’ve been
truthful?”

“
No! I’m trying to make it
easier for us to meet. I want to see you. I need to see you.
Please, Adam.”

“
Look, can you wait until
October? I’ll re-arrange everything so I can take time off. It will
be a waste if you come here next month and I’m up to my ears in
work. Just a few weeks more, Eden. Surely you can wait a little bit
longer so that we can do this right. Aren’t we worth
it?”

Adam made sense of course. His was the voice
of reason. They had known each other less than a month. She was
falling for him fast, but that didn’t mean she should forego clear
thinking and jump on the next plane. She was a single mother with a
son about to go to college in a year. She should behave more
sensibly.

“
Okay.”

She heard him sigh with great relief, and at
the same time, she felt a dark shadow settle over them.

“
I’ll wait,” she said. “But
I have to say this now. Maybe if I say it out loud, it won’t come
true. I’m afraid that something unexpected will happen. It will
seem as though it were out of your control. And it will ultimately
keep us from ever meeting.”

Chapter 14

Eden’s phone buzzed, indicating that she had
just received a text message. It was from Adam, a first time. They
usually just e-mailed each other when she was at work because
international texts through her cellular network would have cost a
small fortune.

I had an accident today and fell 20 feet. In
the hospital A&E waiting room with Luca now.

Everything stood still as the words all ran
together on her screen, and then Eden was a storm of motion. She
grabbed her bag and was heading out door as she told the others, “I
have to go to the bank. Be back in an hour.”

She didn’t remember the drive to Starbucks,
just sitting in a chair outside and calling Adam’s Skype account,
praying he would answer.

“
I’m in one piece,” he said
when he answered. His voice sounded heavy. Weary.

“
Oh, Adam,” she said,
relieved that he was able to answer.

“
Edie, I’ll be fine.” She
was trying not to cry, knowing it did no good and would only upset
him.

“
Is it okay for you to
talk? Are you being seen by anybody?”

“
I’ve just been seen.
Waiting for x-rays now.” She heard him wince. “I can talk. My chest
hurts. They’re concerned about my lungs.”

“
I’m sorry. I won’t force
you to talk. You must be in very great pain.”

“
No, I want to hear your
voice. You’re taking my mind off of it. I need you.”

“
I’m here,
darling.”

“
You must be in Starbucks.
I didn’t mean for you to rush out of work like that. I just wanted
to let you know because I might be knocked out later and I didn’t
want you to worry.”

“
Thinking of me when you’re
hurt – Oh, Adam, it was nothing. I just wish I was with you. Not
thousands of miles away when I can’t do anything.”

“
You’ve already done what I
needed. You’re here. That means everything.”

“
What happened?”

“
I was climbing on a beam
to put lights in a chandelier today after wiring up the electrics
in that room and the beam broke. The house is so old, I should have
checked to if there was wood rot. I happened to have my phone with
me so I was able to call Luca. It could have been much worse, Edie.
I could still be there on the floor now, unable to move, and with
no one the wiser.”

“
Thank god for
Luca!”

“
Yes, he’s been amazing. He
got here immediately, lifted me, and drove me to the hospital. He’s
been a rock.”

“
Right now, I want to kiss
him more than I want to kiss you.”

“
Let’s not get carried
away.”

“
Oh, Adam, why did you do
even that? Don’t you have workers coming in?”

“
I know, Edie. I was
impatient. The builders won’t start for two more weeks. Just before
I did it I was thinking I shouldn’t, but then I thought, fuck it, I
want light in this room now.”

“
It must hurt everywhere.
Can they tell if anything’s broken?”

“
My ribs and ankle hurt the
most. They won’t know for sure until the x-rays.”

“
Adam, do you want me to
come? I’ll stay with you for a week at least, maybe more.” The
words were out before she had time to think. But there needed to be
no thought behind it. Of course she had to go to Sicily. He had no
one else. No family, no close friends.

He didn’t say anything for a few beats, but
when he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion.

“
Edie. More than anything I
want to be with you, but I can’t let you see me like this. Broken
like I am. Not for our first time.”

“
I don’t care. You’re going
to need help.”

“
Darling, you’re very kind.
Especially since I know it’s not a simple matter for you to come
over here. But a man’s got pride. I’ll hire a nurse if I need to,
so you don’t need to worry about me being on my own.”

“
I want to help
you.”

“
You are helping, Edie. You
dropped everything to be with me. I’m astonished.”

Adam turned out to have two broken ribs, a
hairline fracture on his right ankle, two broken toes on his right
foot, a sprained wrist, in addition to his cuts and bruises. The
doctor told him he had to be kept off of his feet for at least two
weeks and was prescribed powerful painkillers. He hired a full-time
nurse to move in and put Luca in temporary charge of the business,
not trusting himself to make sound decisions while he was
medicated.

The thought that he could have been
paralyzed, or worse, frightened Eden more than she ever let on to
Adam. One cruel twist of fate could have ended it all. That
possibility changed everything.

Aside from Dante, Adam became her
priority.

That same day she got rid of the old relic
she had been using and got an iPhone. She wanted Adam to be able to
instantly access her via iMessages and Skype any time of the day in
case anything else should happen without fear of incurring a huge
cellular bill. This made Adam very happy, not only because of the
convenience, but oddly enough because of security.

"Your phone has a top notch operating system,
darling. Our messages will be encrypted end-to-end."

He was so eager to help her set it up when he
felt better that Eden didn't even ask him who he thought would be
trying to read their communications.

She decided to put her boxing classes on hold
while he recovered so that they could have more time together.

“
I don’t want to
interfere,” he said.

“
You’re not an
interference, Adam! I want to do this for you. Do you not want me
to fuss over you? I’ll understand. You don’t feel well at all. I’ll
leave you be so you can rest. I just want to be available should
you need me.”

Adam sighed. “You’re the only thing that’s
keeping me together. Please don’t go." He paused and in a small,
hesitant voice, sounding so much like a lost little boy, "I'm
scared."

"What? Why?"

"Of what you might do. We won't be able to
meet in October, now that I'm like this."

"We can still meet can't we? You might not be
fully recovered, but can't I still come to Sicily?"

"I can't let you see me like this."

"But I don't care about that. All I want is
to be with you. It doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter if
you're not healthy."

"Please, Edie, grant me this one dignity. I
just need to know that you'll wait for me."

"Of course I'll wait for you! Forget what I
said about us meeting. I don't want it to upset you. You shouldn't
be thinking about that now. Please focus on healing."

"I'm injured and far away. I worry that
you'll find some other man. Someone who's there, someone who’ll be
strong for you."

"Adam," she managed to say, choking on a
strange and sudden despair. How can he not know? How can he not
tell? It was a plain, unadorned truth. Even without a face, even
without his physical presence, just by his voice and his words
alone, Adam had rendered every other man insubstantial. She had
been ruined forever. "There will be no other men. Not now. Not
ever."

She swallowed the tears that were threatening
to spill and tried to calm down.

“
Shall I stay with you
until you fall asleep?”

She could sense him hesitating, wanting to be
strong. It was hard for someone so proud to be suddenly so weak and
vulnerable.

“
That would be … I can’t
express how much that would comfort me."

She stayed with him that night. With the
quiet of dusk descending, she lay on one side of her bed and
imagined a man occupying the space next to her. A broken man, a
scarred man. Unlike all the other nights, which had been full of
debates and teasing and seductive scenarios, this night they spoke
very little. He didn't have to say how much he needed her. She
didn't have to say how much she wanted to ease his pain. She had
opened her arms to him and he had settled into them, childlike,
vulnerable. She had never felt as intense a connection with him as
she did that night.

When she heard his breathing change, she
waited a few beats, listening to its rhythm, so close that she
could swear he was right beside her. Her heart ached, too full.

“
Darling, are you asleep?”
she whispered tenderly.

He didn’t answer, fast asleep. She couldn’t
wait any longer. She needed to say it, even if he won't be able to
hear.

A few more beats and then in her quietest
voice, “I love you, Adam, so, so much.”

That night marked another turning point in
their already fast-moving relationship. Staying with him until he
fell asleep became their nightly ritual. Adam said that she soothed
him like no one else and he only slept well if she was there to
send him to sleep.