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Authors: Braya Spice

Dear Drama (6 page)

BOOK: Dear Drama
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After five minutes of sucking and slobbering, and then drooling and moving his head across my pussy like he was tickling me, he loomed over me with a slick smile. “You gonna give me a little more before I go to work, baby?”
If it was like the little I received last night, the answer was, “Fuck no!”
But then again,
I thought,
maybe I can give him a chance to redeem himself. Maybe since he got his first nut out the night before, this time he will be longer.
But it turned out to be just as disappointing as the first time, and this time we did it doggy style. He couldn't even get his ass slaps synchronized with when he dipped in my pussy. I didn't like faking, but I didn't have the heart to tell him the real. That his tongue and dick game was wack. Wack!
About two minutes later he dressed and was, thankfully, leaving.
He blew me a kiss as he laced up his work boots. I pulled the covers over my chest and managed another smile.
Fully dressed and happy, he walked back over to the bed, leaned over, and kissed me on the lips. “Walk me to the door, baby,” he whispered.
“Let me put on something.” My nightgown was lying on the side of the bed. I slipped it on and followed him to the door.
He gave me one last kiss and left.
Chapter 5
I had just kissed Lavante good-bye on another Sunday morning. Now, see, I wanted companionship and some good dick. The companionship he gave to me, but the good dick, he just could not give it to me. But I needed to have companionship around, so I put up with the bad sex. I knew sex wasn't everything. Greg was good in bed and had pleased me in every way, but he'd treated me like shit. Lavante treated me well, but the sex was wack. So I kept him around. I wanted a man in my life, one that was respectful and hardworking. That was everything that Lavante was. Greg didn't even want to work or care financially for his child.
“So how about you meet me on Ximeno Avenue? We can get a quick bite to eat tomorrow. You think you will be able to sneak away from work?” Lavante asked me.
The thought of seeing him hard at work made my coochie flip-flop in a way Lavante couldn't make it do. But I tried to keep cool. “Yeah, but won't you be working, and don't you want to wait until later that night?”
We were supposed to meet for dinner. I wanted him to eat dinner with Sierra, but I felt it was too soon for him to meet her. Two months had passed, and I still felt I needed more time before introducing him to her. Greg had Sierra on the weekends now. So far he had been cool. There were no problems.
“Dinner ain't enough. I need to see you again sooner, baby. Just meet me on Ximeno, near the traffic circle. We'll be outside working. There's this place close by that makes good burritos.” He kissed me one last time and left.
How sweet,
I thought. He wanted me to see what he did. It made me feel special.
I made sure I looked nice the day I was supposed to meet Lavante for lunch. It was May and sunny, so I wore a floral summer dress with a pair of flats. I parked on the street. Cedric, the same man who was there when I first met Lavante, was there, and we exchanged smiles when I got out of my car. There were other men around working as well. Lavante was wearing his orange coveralls, and from the looks of it, we were not going to be able to go out to eat lunch like he had requested.
When I made it over to him, he said, “So much for lunch.”
“It's okay. I'm not so hungry, anyway.”
“Well, you see what we do?” He gestured with his hand.
I looked around and saw two men digging a ditch, one driving a tractor, and two more pulling a long pipe off of a truck. “Yeah, looks very tiring.”
“Oh, it's not so bad.” He paused and flashed a glance at the other guys, who were still working. “Well, I have to get back to work.”
“Well, I'll see you later.”
He had already walked away.
When I made the U-turn to go back home, I saw the little Mexican restaurant he had told me about. I thought,
If we can't go eat lunch, why can't I bring it to him?
I went into the restaurant and ordered him a grande burrito, hoping that would be enough, and a large Coke with extra ice.
When I made it back over to where Lavante was working, he was driving the tractor and had his back to me. I knew he wouldn't hear me if I called his name, and more importantly, I didn't want to get in the way. A guy from his crew was near me, so I politely asked him to give the food to Lavante. He grabbed it and walked away.
 
 
Later that day, I was reading this story to Sierra. Ever since she was a baby, I had been doing this. I was on the last page when the phone rang.
“Hello?” I said.
“I thought I told you not to come back to my fucking job?” Lavante fired back.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard what the fuck I said.”
“Hold up—”
“Shut up, little girl.”
Before I could even respond, he continued, “Look, I'm not going to find anybody else to pay me twenty-three dollars an hour, and my job means a lot to me, so don't ever come back up there unless I tell you to. Do you understand me?”
“Why are you going off like this?” I demanded. Although I tried to sound tough, there were tears in my eyes due to the way he was talking to me. Here I thought I was doing something nice for his little dick ass when I brought him food, and he was seriously disrespecting me!
He hung up.
To make matters worse than him hanging up on me, when I called his cell back repeatedly, he kept sending my call to voice mail. I called his home number. I was shocked to discover that the home number he had given me and had handwritten himself wasn't his. A Mexican man answered the phone and said in a snappy voice before hanging up, “Wrong number.”
I gasped. He had never given me his real home number. Since I had always called him on his cell and was able to get a hold of him that way, I had never bothered to call his home number. Until now.
Why didn't he want to give me his home number?
I thought. He had my home and my cell number. I had given them to him without a moment's hesitation. I saw no reason for him not to give me his home number. I was a single woman. Did he have a wife he was hiding or a woman he didn't tell me about that he lived with? Or did he plain out not want me to have his home number? Bottom line was he had straight played me.
I called the number again to make sure I had dialed the right number.
The same man yelled, “Wrong number!”
And on top of that he stood me up for dinner. But there was no way I was going to sit my ass in the house. So I picked up Sierra from Creole's house. She had picked Sierra up from my babysitter so that I could go out with Lavante. I called Kendra, and we met up at El Torito for some Mexican food. It was Taco Tuesday. I'd show him. When he decided to call, I wouldn't be there. He wasn't the only one who could play games!
“Girl, he is tripping,” Kendra said. After dipping a chip in some salsa, she crunched on the chip with her mouth halfway open, grossing me out. But it wasn't just that. I really had no appetite. So I sipped on a virgin margarita and eyed Sierra as she colored.
“Which part?”
“All of it. From the tripping about you coming up to his job ...” She paused to crunch on another chip. “To him giving you a fake number, to him standing you up. Seems to me that one of you needs to reevaluate this so called relationship. And from the looks of things ...” She shoved another chip in her mouth, crunched, and swallowed it before saying, “Allure, baby, it's you.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is that you don't mean anything to him. Allure, you have no commitment.”
Her words were blunt, and they hurt. But I knew my friend loved me and was just keeping it one hundred. So I couldn't get mad at her.
“But the thing is, he never told me anything like that. He said he wanted the same shit I wanted.”
“Come on, girl, he full of shit. What song does he have on his ringtone?”
“Lovers and Friends.” I almost wished I had never told her. Now was the wrong time to tell me that I didn't look at the signs that Lavante was only after my vajayjay. I had jumped headlong into this shit, had invested feelings, thinking what my wedding colors would be and what our kids would look like, and praying that if we had a son, he didn't have a little we-we with a man that didn't feel the same way. What the fuck was wrong with me? I guess I was just so lonely and hard up from being alone that I fell for his bull. A man who had been up my birth canal and had the audacity to give me a fake home number.
Who the fuck does that? How juvenile.
Damn.
She offered me a smile. That didn't do shit for my feelings. 'Cause this was my rude awakening that Lavante was not what he said he was. The only question was, what was I going to do about it?
“Now”—she opened up her menu—“let me see what I'm going to order.”
I reached for mine. It was underneath my margarita. I lifted the drink and tried to grab the menu, but because it was hanging halfway off of the table, it fell to the floor before I could grasp it.
I leaned over to pick it up. I lifted my head and body back up and gasped when my eyes came into contact with Lavante's. And that wasn't the most shocking or awkward part about it. It was the fact that he was hugged up with another chick. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and think she was maybe his kid, but he had no damn kids.
Seeing me startled him as well. So if we ever had to fucking go into retrospect, there was no way he could say that he didn't see me.
And even though he did see me and he was inches away from me, he kept on pushing past me without a word.
I sat back, with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I wanted to cry. Nothing was more hurtful than what he did. Flaunting another woman in front of me, then pretending I didn't exist. I blinked to stop the tears.
“What wrong, Mommy?”
Kendra looked up from her menu. Her eyes narrowed. “You okay, Allure?”
“Yeah.” I gave Sierra a fake smile.
I knew if I told Kendra that Lavante was here with another woman and had walked by, straight dissing me, she would get crazy and curse him out. I didn't want that, so I kept it to myself.
Chapter 6
When the bastard kept on calling me, I kept on not answering, letting the calls go to my voice mail. I was hurt by what he did, and I also had my share of stress. My rent had been raised by sixty bucks. It wasn't easy paying the rent that I paid now. With Section 8, I was paying six hundred. That was half of what I brought home every month. This shit didn't please me too much. After picking up Sierra after work, I stopped by a gas station, my tank being damn near on empty. I had only five dollars to dump in. But I had had days like this, so if I could get through those, I sure as hell could get through this. I couldn't stress over it, anyway. I had a thousand-word paper to do and an exam to study for. I wondered what Lavante was doing, but figured I needed to keep my mind on my more important priorities. But he continued to come to mind.
I grabbed the nozzle and lowered it into my tank. I noticed someone staring at me. He was standing by a rig and filling his tank as well. I turned away. A couple of seconds later, as my mind calculated my list of bills and my imminent lack of sufficient funds, I noticed that two feet stood in front of me.
He was my size, brown skinned, with a beard that surrounded his chin and cheeks. He had an earring in his right ear, reminding me of a black pirate.
“Your daughter isn't too friendly to strangers, is she?”
“Huh?” I shook my head.
“I said—”
“I'm sorry. I heard you. I just have a lot of stuff on my mind right now.”
“Yeah, I can tell.” He looked at the gas meter and raised a brow at me. “Is that all you're going to put in your tank?”
“Well, when it's all you have ... Uh, what are you doing?”
He placed a credit card in the slot and stuck the gas nozzle back into my tank. “Helping a sister out.”
“You don't have to.”
“I want to.”
The barely half-filled tank was now completely filled.
I smiled and said, “Thank you.”
“No problem.”
I opened my car door and paused when he put his hand on my arm.
“Listen, can I talk to you for a few minutes?”
I looked around. “A couple minutes is okay,” I said hesitantly.
He used that as an invitation to sit next to me in my car. The first thing he did was turn around and speak to Sierra. “Hi.”
Sierra looked at him and then turned her head.
“Sierra!” I said. “That was very rude.”
She ignored me.
“What's the matter?” he asked. “You don't want to be my friend?”
“No! I'm my daddy's friend!”
I put my head down, embarrassed. “I'm sorry.”
His hand on mine silenced me. “No, don't apologize.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah, I was stopping to fill up my rig truck over there. I own about seven of them.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I own my own business.”
“You do? That's really good. What type?”
“I own seven big rigs and some property. Hey, what's your name?”
“Allure.”
“I'm Derek.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Can I share something with you?”
“Yeah.”
“You know, I work quite a lot, and to be honest, I been hoping I could meet a nice young lady, and then I saw you. I'm a nice guy to know. I don't mind if you have a child and all. I know some brothas trip on that. Not me. I'd like to call you sometime, if that's cool.”
I was silent. I knew it was as good time as ever to tell him I really wasn't trying to see anybody. My focus was on finishing up the semester at school and taking care of Sierra.
“I have a son myself and came close to having a wife. But it just didn't happen that way. You ever been in a situation where you were with someone you thought you'd be with for the rest of your life and it changes just like that?” He snapped his fingers.
“Yeah. I thought her father was it for me. I guess I was wrong.”
He smiled. “I guess I thought everything would be perfect for me and my girl if I did everything for her. She didn't have to work. I gave her everything she could possibly need. A huge house, money in the bank, a car. I even got her hair and nails done every damn week, bought her flowers, and still she was not happy.”
“It happens like that sometimes.” I thought about my breakup with Greg. “I guess no matter how much you want something to work, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. No matter how much you force the relationship, it's destined to fail.”
“You seem mature for someone so young.”
“I'm not that young. I'm almost twenty-three,” I fired back defensively.
“I'm thirty-one, and in my book twenty-three is still young.”
I stubbornly refused to agree.
It made him chuckle. “Can I see you again?”
“I don't know about—”
“Just hear me out first. I know you don't know me, and I could be anything from an ax murderer to a rapist, but if you give yourself the opportunity to get to know me, I guarantee you will learn to like, dare I presume, love me.” He searched my eyes for a response and continued, “I live alone. I own a four-bedroom, three-bath house with a swimming pool, Jacuzzi, the works. I'm a very hardworking man. I also own property, Allure. All I need in my life is a strong, hardworking woman by my side. You got any dreams, sweetheart? Anything you wanna accomplish?”
“I want to graduate from college, provide a good home and family for my child. I want to be happy, be in love.”
“I promise I can help you get all that.”
“You have to excuse my skepticism. Men have promised me a lot, and they don't really come through. And I don't even know you to believe all the crap you talking about. Real talk.”
“True, and I could be bullshitting like them. But I'm a man, and you probably ain't been with a real man yet. Any old kind of way you have a child and you can't fill your tank up shows you ain't fucked with a real man yet.”
I didn't know what to say to that. But it was the truth. Greg wasn't a real man. He still didn't help me financially with Sierra. I was now on the fence about Lavante. He wasn't keeping his word to me. And he had humiliated me at El Torito.
“Is it possible to get your number and call you sometime?” Derek asked.
I gave him my number and put his number in my cell phone, locking it in.
“Take care, young lady.” Derek hopped out of the car and walked back to his rig.
After I pulled out of the gas station I turned to Sierra. “You didn't like the nice man, baby?”
More sharply than I had ever heard her, she snapped, “No!”
“Why not?”
“He not Daddy!”
“And no one will ever be ... except Daddy. But, Sierra, your daddy and I are no longer together. And one day I hope to find another man to love me and be with me. He will be in your life as well. It does not mean you have to stop loving your father. He will always be in your life. Understand?”
“'Kay, Mommy.”
I was about to head home when Sierra reminded me, “Mommy, you forgot to get my chips for the party tomorrow at La La's.”
My daughter's babysitter was named Yolanda. Sierra called her La La for short. She had been going to Yolanda's since she was three weeks. I was grateful that Sierra was able to go to a babysitter who employed a teacher to teach all the kids there. Sierra had been doing schoolwork and bringing home homework ever since she had turned three. She was getting a head start. So I didn't mind contributing, even if I didn't have it.
I moaned. I had so much homework to do, and I could use that extra hour it was probably going to take me to go into the store, because I knew once I got there, I would end up buying all kinds of other crap that we needed. It always happened that way.
“All right, let's go.”
I turned the radio to KJLH just in time to hear Eric Roberson and Lalah Hathaway's “Dealing.” It took us about ten minutes to get to the store.
As soon as we got inside, I told Sierra, “Let's get the chips and be out.”
I grabbed one of the carry carts and went down the chip aisle. Sierra had my other hand, and she was skipping. She was always so happy.
I chuckled.
She picked Doritos. I grabbed two big bags. One that was cheese and one that was ranch.
“Okay,” I said.
“Wait, Mommy. Remember you told me to remind you to get cereal?”
I rolled my eyes, and we went down the cereal aisle. That was where I saw Lavante.
When he looked my way, I pretended I didn't see him. But it was too late. From the corner of my eye, I saw he was walking up to me and Sierra.
“Sierra, go pick the cereal you want.”
“Okay, Mommy.” She walked right past Lavante.
“Hey, baby. I been calling you, and you won't return my calls.”
I tried to push past him, but he blocked me. I went around him.
“Allure.” He followed after me.
“What do you want, Lavante?”
“You.”
I spun around on his ass, crossed my arms underneath my chest, and gave him an evil look. “You didn't seem too interested in me at the restaurant. In fact, you pretended you didn't know me.”
“I guess I was still angry about the situation with my job.”
I wasn't buying that. All I had done was bring him lunch. That was it. Then I bounced. Where was the wrong there? But I let him finish.
“I'm not used to anything like that. I've been a bachelor for a long time, Allure.”
“Is that why you gave me a fake home number?” I pointed out.
“It all ties into my lifestyle, baby. I don't give any women my home number. It doesn't mean I don't care for you or that I'm trying to mislead or hurt you. It is just a rule that I had long before I even met you.”
He had my number, so I didn't understand why he was uncomfortable with me having his.
“Long ago I dated a young woman, and she felt more for me than I felt for her. When I broke it off, she started calling me all hours of the night. She had her uncle threaten to shoot me and shit if I didn't return her calls. So I learned never to give my number out again. It has nothing personal to do with you, baby. And like I said, it is not to hurt you. You are something special to me. But I need you to respect my bachelorhood.”
“So what exactly are you saying, and where exactly in your life as a bachelor does that leave me? 'Cause I thought we had something and this was going to be more than just sex.” I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach.
Then Kendra's words came back to me
. I really wasn't shit to him.
“We do, but maybe you're confused on what it is. It's not exclusive, Allure, and if I have come across like it is, I'm sorry.”
What he said hurt, but I bit on my lip so he didn't see it tremble. “You never once said you wanted anything other than what I wanted, Lavante. Never once, so to tell me this now after everything, after sharing my body with you and investing feelings ... It's not fair.” He had seriously misled me. Made it seem like he wanted to be my man, when he really didn't want to. Whereas I wanted someone who wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with him, in a committed relationship. Someone to stick around, want to be there, help me fix things around the house, go to the movies with, and eventually be in Sierra's life. I didn't think that was going to be difficult to find in Lavante, being that he was older and already established.
“I didn't mean to hurt you. Let me make it up to you by doing things differently.”
I pursed my lips. The harm had already been done, and it didn't sound like he wanted to offer me any type of commitment. He seemed pretty adamant about his
bachelorhood
. Still, I asked, “How are you going to do that?”
“Let me take you out again. Spend some time with you, Allure.” He hugged me close.
I felt myself melting. During the time that I had ignored him, I had missed him. In the amount of time we had been seeing each other, I had developed feelings for him that wouldn't go away, and when he was not around, I had a serious void that also wouldn't go away and had me up at night. I needed a man in my life, bottom line. However I could get one. I knew I deserved more, but I didn't want to take the risk of pushing Lavante away and being by myself again. I didn't want to start seeing someone new. With what I had been through with Greg, and now with this new mess with Lavante, who knew what else I would be put through? There was a sea of vultures out there, which I wanted no parts of.
Maybe I can get over what Lavante did and start over,
I thought. But I didn't want to start over.
BOOK: Dear Drama
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