Dear Soldier: BBW Contemporary Romance (5 page)

Lily

“Three million dollars, Miss Warren.”

Oh God
. “This isn’t about the money, Mr. Keller.”

He shakes his head. I can’t tell if it’s admiration or pure loathing I see in the smile he’s giving me.

“Lily, Lily, Lily.” He whispers my name like a time bomb ticking down as his lips curl up even further, exposing more freakishly white teeth.

Alright, that’s a look of pure loathing.
I suddenly wish I was facing off the dragon lady from breakfast in a bear pit.

“You’re not like the others,” he tells me.

Others?

“Five thousand. Fifteen thousand. One broke a hundred grand. But you…you drive a hard bargain.” His nostrils flare. “You know your worth.”

I don’t know what to call this. Ten thousand dollars to never see his son again? Was the man insane? I smiled and nodded, wondering if he was going to pull a wad of pink make-believe money out of his pocket, throw it up in the air, and laugh maniacally as it rained down around us.

But then, I started to remember things. The sparkler. How lonely Ian’s eyes had been when he paid for our $120 breakfast. It was almost like he
hated
money.

The man in front of me was the most polished thing I’d ever seen outside of a magazine. He had that kind of cool elegance that I believed could only be captured on camera.

I shut my eyes, shaking. It’s like I can feel every cell in my heart cracking. How would it feel knowing you’ve been abandoned by the one you love for cold, hard cash? He must hate it. He must feel so alone. So…unloved.

It was time to fight back. I curl my hands into fists and face Mr. Keller. “Are you a Bond villain?”

He blanches. “What?”

“Do you secretly want to take over the world?”

“What
on earth
are you talking about? Have you not heard a word I said?”

I cross my arms over my chest. “Oh, I’ve heard more from you than I want to.”

Mr. Keller grits his teeth. “Five million. It’s my final offer.”

“Look, no amount of money is going to make me agree to this, alright? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

“Fine. Six million.”

“Oh my God, are you listening to me? I could not live with myself. I don’t know how
you can
live with yourself. Why are you doing this to your son?”

He shudders, looking down at his hands. “You don’t know anything.”

I sigh.
This so isn’t going well
. “Alright, explain it to me. Why do you hate me so much, huh? You don’t even know me.”

“But I know your kind.”

My
kind?
What the hell did that mean?!? And why was he making it sound like “my kind” was an antibiotic resistant strain of toenail fungus?

He takes a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t want him to make the same mistakes I made.”

Finally we were getting somewhere. “Well, what mistake did you make?”

He shifts in his seat. “I left him alone when he needed me most. And then, I did it again. I did it so many times that when I tried to reach out he wouldn’t—he couldn’t—”

“It’s fine, dad.”

Mr. Keller’s eyes fly open. I start spinning in my chair but Ian’s already moving past me. He kneels on the Hello Kitty rug, putting his hands over his father’s.

Mr. Keller frowns. “Ian? What are you doing here?”

Ian smiles. Dimples are back, and suddenly the weight in my chest lifts. “I think I should be the one asking you that question.”

His father gulps. “I-I’m just…”

“You’re just trying to bribe the woman I love,” Ian finishes.

What? Did I hear that correctly? Did he just say love?

DID HE JUST SAY LOVE?!?!?!?

I blink only to find Ian gazing back at me. I feel like I’m floating. My heart is singing. Unicorns dance beneath rainbows.

And then, my happy, perfect dream is sharply interrupted by a loud, “WHAT???”

“Don’t act so surprised.” Ian tells his father, standing. “You did offer six million. You had to know.”

Mr. Keller stands, too. “That was only because negotiations had stalled. She was being so ridiculously stubborn—”

Avery clears her throat. We all turn to find her standing in the corner, glaring at the Mr. Keller.

“Uh oh, you pissed her off,” Ian whispers.

Avery’s scowl deepens.

“I think you did too,” Mr. Keller whispers.

“It’s alright,” Ian replies. “I bought her a cactus.”

Avery’s eyebrows perk up as Mr. Keller frowns.

I’m still sitting. I can’t move yet. I don’t know if I can ever move again. I think I just heard…I think it was just suggested…

Ian steps forward, taking my hand in his. “Dad, I want you to meet Lily. For the past two years, I’ve been sending her letters and she’s been returning them. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”

Even Avery is wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

Neither can Mr. Keller. “No! You’re too young, Ian. You don’t know what you want yet. Don’t throw your life away. Don’t do
this
to get back at me.”

Ian sighs, letting go of my hand. “This isn’t about you or mom. I get it. You weren’t a saint and neither was she. It was a political marriage, not a love match. I blamed you for being with your mistress the night she died instead of with us because I wanted someone to blame.”

I feel my eyes bug out.
What?

“Mom didn’t care. Hell, she was happy she got to spend that time alone with me without having to pretend with you.”

Oh my god, what?!?!?

“I just…couldn’t accept she was dying. I wanted you to hurt like I did. I wanted you to hurt too…” Ian’s voice cracks.

Mr. Keller hesitantly places his hand on his son’s shoulder, as if he’s certain Ian will pull away. Ian doesn’t. “I picked your office because I knew you’d find us there. Even while I fucked your mistress, I knew you didn’t love her. Hell, the two of you weren’t even exclusive. I just knew the only way to hurt you was to show you how much I was hurting.”

I don’t think I’m breathing anymore. Avery looks like she can’t decide whether she wants to start crying or throw up. I am tempted to tell everyone to take a thirty minute break so we can all take showers.
Separate
showers. There’d been enough…sharing…
oh my GOD!!!

“I’m so sorry,” Mr. Keller whispers. “I should have been there for you.”

“Maybe, maybe not. I probably shouldn’t have done all the dumb shit I did, either. That’s all in the past, and now, I’m ready to talk about my future.” Ian gets down on one knee. “You still with me, Lily?”

“Um…I don’t know,” I answer honestly.

“She just wants you for your money,” Mr. Keller warns.

Ian sighs. “You know, she actually had no idea I was even a billionaire until you showed up.”

I’m glad I’m sitting down. I’m really, really,
really
glad. Because my mind just exploded. “WHAT?!?!?!”

Ian shuts his eyes. “Guess she still didn’t know.”

“WHAT?!?!?” I yell.

Ian looks at the ground sheepishly. “I’m a billionaire.”

“A billionaire? As in, you have a billion dollars?”

“Billions, actually.”

Okay. He might well just have said he was a fairy prince from Mars. “Billions?”

He grins. “Yeah. And if I can still convince you to marry me, I’ll give you half so you can be a billionaire too.”

“Marry you?”

“I was gonna wait to ask until next week. Take you home. Introduce you to my dad…well, I guess that already happened unfortunately. Get you the family ring.”

Family ring? Oh my god. Family ring.

He actually wanted to marry me.

Marry. Me.

“Now, all I’ve got is this,” he whispers, lifting something off the floor.

I look into his sincere, brilliant blue eyes—the most beautiful, vibrant blue I have ever seen—and then I glance down at the misshapen, hairy, fugly plant he’s holding that’s sprouting teeth instead of petals. “What the hell is that?”

“It’s a Venus Flytrap.”

Okay. I think one of the epic orgasms he gave me last night might have killed me. Either that, or it knocked a few things lose upstairs. “What?”

“A Venus Flytrap.”

“Alright, I heard you the first time, but…why?”

“I wanted to get you something that symbolized our love.”

“A Venus Flytrap symbolizes our love?”

He nods, grinning like what he just said is not only totally sane but completely adorable.

I shut my eyes.
Deep breaths, Lily. Nice, deep, even breaths.
“Okay, we don’t need a wedding. We need therapy.”

Lily

We went to three couple’s sessions before the therapist suggested we start seeing another therapist.

Ian and his dad made up. Sort of. I mean, they get along about as well as any other adult man and his overprotective and overly-loving father.

Once Avery realized that Ian was a billionaire, it took a few more cacti to buy her off.

Kate suggested a theme for my wedding. She promised me it didn’t have anything to do with mermaids. Instead, inspired by Ian’s makeshift proposal, she wanted to dress me up like a Venus Flytrap. I said no. She talked about how we could attach a toothy apparatus to my head. I still said no. She finally acquiesced to helping me pick out the kind of white dress I thought only existed in fairy tales.

Happy years passed. As our children got older, they started asking about how we met and, when they heard about the letters, they wanted to read them. And me, in my infinite foolishness, said yes. Which is why I’m spending my Fourth of July going through boxes of old letters with scissors and white out.

“It’s almost time for the party,” he tells me.

I grunt.

“I brought you tea.”

That earns him another grunt.

He sighs, coming over to rub my shoulder. “You don’t have to do this now, you know.”

I set down the scissors. “Actually, I do.”

“No. You can show them in a few years.”

“But what if they
find
them?” I ask.

He shrugs. “So what?”

“So what? So what?!?!?” I pick up the letter I was just reading and clear my throat. “P. S. If you still feel uncomfortable sending me your picture, maybe you could send me one of your tits?”

Ian drops the tea. “I did not say that.”

“Yes you did.”

He groans. “Wow. I’m amazed we even got together.”

“Me too. There’s one in there where you asked about my webcam and actually used the words ‘drive by boob.’”

Ian cringes, holding his head. “Oh God.”

“Yeah. Oh god is right. That’s the kind of shit that will scar our children for life. No, they can’t find these.
Ever
.”

It takes him a few minutes to recover. I think he kind of wishes I hadn’t found them either. “You know, our story is weird.”

“You can say that again.”

“But…” he continues. “It’s still a good story.

I tap my forefinger on my bottom lip. “Really? It seems a little…simple to me.”

“Simple? Why?”

“Well, nothing really happens in it.”

“What do you mean, nothing happens?” he scoffs.

“It’s just two people who like each other getting together!”

He wiggles his eyebrows. “Yeah. Now that’s my kind of story.”

I swat him. “Shut up! You don’t understand! There’s no conflict. There’s not even a plot.”

“No, I don’t think
you
understand. This story has everything. A sexy hero.”

I roll my eyes.

“A woman who speaks her mind.”

“Yeah, everyone loves that.”

“Some seriously fucked-up cosplay.”

I raise my hand to swat him again. “You are not to bring that up ever!”

He blocks me. “And a happy ending.”

I purse my lips. “I guess it does have one of those.”

“Look, sometimes great love stories aren’t full of crazy shit. Sometimes they’re just about two normal people falling in love and getting together.”

“Normal? You were a secret billionaire! And you and your dad…!” I shudder. Even after all these years, I’m still traumatized by that story.

Ian sighs. “Alright, semi-normal. Look, the point is, our kids are just going to want to see how we fell in love, and so we’ll show them. After we, ahem, make generous use of the white-out.”

She frowns at one of the letters in distaste. “You know, if we white out some of these, there’s not gonna be much else left.”

“Doesn’t matter as long as it’s us.”

I frown at him, smiling despite myself. “What do you mean by that?”

“It’s our story, Lily. And that means it’s the best goddamn story there is.”

“Wow. Cocky much?”

He grins, pulling me in close. “Yeah, and you fuckin’ love it.”

***

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