Dearest Series Boxed Set (52 page)

T
ravis
, Jax and I hang out the next day, drinking beer and watching football as I start sorting though some of my mom’s stuff. Travis flies home on New Year’s Eve so he can see his family. Jax gets him a first-class ticket.

Aside from the big boner he pressed into me the other day, Jax keeps a certain distance. I get the feeling he senses I’m too fragile right now, which is probably true.

While we have a good time hanging out, the elephant in the room gets too big to ignore, especially after he sends Travis home.

“When are you going back?” I ask, unable to avoid it any longer. He does live in Boston after all, a fact I was too willing to ignore on the day of my mother’s funeral.

He twists on the couch so he can face me. “The same day you go back.”

On the TV, the announcer says it’s ten minutes until New Year’s.

“What do you mean?”

He rubs his palm over his jaw. “I brought my SUV to drive you back East, so we could move whatever you wanted. I can store furniture or any other belongings if they don’t fit in your dorm room.”

What? I stiffen in my seat. “I told you I don’t have the money.”

The left corner of his mouth tilts up. “Yeah, you do. The rest of the semester is covered. You’re coming back to Boston when I do.”

My face burns from embarrassment. Does he really want me to say this again? “Jax, I don’t have the money to pay for my second semester.”

“You don’t need money. I covered it.”

My eyes narrow. “You can’t go around paying for everything, Jackson.” I gear up, ready for a fight.

He grins. Why the hell is he smiling? “Fine. Then pay me back when you get the insurance money.”

Huh. The anger starts to deflate in my chest. “So this is a loan?” If I borrow the money, I can keep my promise to my mom and go back to BU.

“If that’s what you want, sure.”

I chew on my lip, trying to keep my emotions in check, and his grin widens. “Why are you smiling?”

“You.”

I quirk up my eyebrow. “What does that mean?” Is he laughing at me?

“It means you’re fucking adorable.”

Ignoring him, I huff. “This has to be a loan, Jax. I’m serious.”

He smirks, and I squeak when he reaches across the couch, dragging me to him. He lies back and pulls me on top of him. “Fine.”

I stare down at him. My hair falls around us as he nudges my knees open with his leg until I’m straddling his thigh.

Jax’s expression burns my cheeks for an entirely different reason. Forgetting my anger, I look down at this gorgeous guy who helped me with my mom’s funeral and is loaning me a buttload of cash so I can go back to school. And he’s lying underneath me, hard as a rock and sexy as sin.

Sweet Jesus, I want him. Remembering the other times we’ve been together only fuels my desire.

In the background, the crowds cheer for the countdown to begin.

“What do you say we ring in the new year together, Dandelion?”

He doesn’t wait for me to respond. Instead, he grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls me closer until I’m pressed against him, belly to belly. Instantly, heat roars between my legs. He rolls his hips until there’s no doubt what’s nestled against my hip.

“I… I thought we were going to go slow.” I can barely speak.

“Ten, nine, eight…”

“We can go as slow and soft as you want, babe.” His lips brush against mine in a feather-light touch. “Or we can go hard and fast,” he says against my mouth as he deepens the kiss.

Oh God. Hard. I’m definitely thinking hard.

“Three, two, one.”

My brain shuts down as my body takes over.

I moan into his mouth and grip his shoulders as his hands run down my back and over my rear. I lift my leg up over his so he’s planted firmly between my thighs, and then I disentangle myself from his arms and sit up.

I don’t know what possesses me, but I want to make him as crazy about me as I am about him. I stare down at him as I slowly rotate my hips, pressing our needy parts together.

“Is this what you want?”

He sucks in a breath. “Fuck, yes, Dani.”

He feels huge and thick against me. I give him a wicked smile as I say, “Happy New Year, Jax,” and climb off him. He looks confused, but then I lean over and whisper in his ear, “I choose hard and fast,” before I race to my room.

His footsteps behind me make me giggle as I run up the stairs. I barely make it through my door when I’m jerked backwards. Laughing, I fall into Jax’s arms as he slams us both up against the wall.

He lifts me up and my legs wrap around his hips. He pushes hard against me and we both gasp as our bodies align.

We kiss, desperate and hungry. His tongue stroking against mine sends pulsing need to my core. His hands are everywhere—my back, my breasts, my thighs—and just when I think I’m going to implode from lust, he stops.

It takes me a second to catch my breath.

“What’s wrong? Why did you stop?”

He swallows. “I want you to know you mean more to me than just sex. I can’t get enough of you, Dani. I’ve… I’ve never felt this way. Even with Giselle.”

Before I can process what he just said, his mouth is on mine, and all I know is I’m on fire. He sets me down on the floor one second before he rips off my sweater. I shimmy out of my jeans until I’m standing in a hot pink bra and boy shorts.

I’m ready to collide with him again, but he takes a step back, his eyes traveling slowly over my exposed skin. He looks like he wants to devour me. I give him a coy smile, grab the clasp on my bra and let it tumble off my shoulders.

He groans. “Goddamn. Danielle, you’re gorgeous.”

I shake my hair forward, so it covers my chest, and then I cock my hip and stare back. “Get naked, Jax. Now.”

His clothes are off in a nanosecond so we’re both standing in underwear. His erection is about to poke a hole in his boxers. I reach out and grab him firmly, stroking until he collapses against me with my back to the wall.

I’m contemplating going down on him when he moves my hand away and drops to his knees. He stares up, eyes heavy with desire, his hands tracing invisible patterns on my thighs. And right now, with one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen kneeling before me, looking at me like he wants to eat me whole, I feel totally and utterly worshipped.

I thread my fingers through his hair as he plants his mouth on my breast. He sucks hard, and a desperate gasp leaves my mouth. He tongues my piercing, and I arch my back, reveling in the sensation.

He breaks away briefly to grab hold of my other ring between his teeth. As he stares up at me, I pull him to me, tighter, wanting more.

When I think I might collapse on the floor from the attention he gives my piercings, he dips his finger into the waist of my underwear and tugs them down. We stare at each other, my heart in my throat as my girl parts have a nuclear meltdown.

Then his mouth is on me, pressing a gentle kiss on my thigh. He grabs my ankle and wraps it over his shoulder, completely exposing me. Of course, he takes a long heated look between my legs before his eyes travel up my body. His expression alone threatens to melt me.

When our eyes meet, he growls as he opens his mouth and nips my thigh. Holy shit. I decide right then and there he can bite me any time he wants.

His lips mark a trail of fire as he teases closer and closer until his tongue dips into me. Neither of us look away. And I see it in his eyes. How I mean more. And I hope he sees the same in mine.

I moan loudly, unable to contain it any longer. Gripping his hair, I tilt my head and arch my back, trying to get closer.

Around and around he goes, massaging the most delicate part of me. But then he stops, sinks down lower and presses two fingers into me, and I fall apart, the rush of blood and all sensation to my core unhinging me.

I pulse around him, and I can see him grinning against my skin.

When I finally stop shuddering, he sets my leg down. He must sense my inability to function because he grabs my hips and pulls me to him. Welcoming the warmth of his naked torso, I press a kiss against his muscular chest and breathe him in.

Jax holds me tightly and kisses me on the top of my head. I feel him hard against my belly, and I whisper that it’s his turn.

“Babe, are you sure?” His throat is raspy and deep.

I close my eyes and nod against him. “Yes, I’m sure. I’m
so
sure.”

He moans his approval as he squeezes me tighter. “Can I tell you I’ve been dying to fuck you senseless for the last four months?”

Laughing, I stand on my tiptoes and let my lips linger against his. “Can I tell you I’ve been dying for you to fuck me senseless for the last four months?”

Grinning, he lifts me up and the next thing I know, I’m on my bed and a very naked Jax is crawling toward me like a predator, all hard muscle and chiseled sexiness. He tears open a condom and suits up.

I drop my legs open for him and feel the length of him drag against my sensitive skin. I close my eyes, shivering.

“You feel so good, babe,” he murmurs against my neck.

Up, down, up, down he goes, teasing me with his erection until I’m so racked with lust I could scream.

“Jesus, Jax,” I breathe, dying to feel his full weight pressed against me.

My blood hums in my veins, desperation clawing its way to the surface. He presses gently at my entrance, and I feel like I’ve been waiting for years to be this close to someone I really want, someone I lust for, someone I love.

And just like that I realize it. I love him. Deep down, from the bottom of my soul, love. My other boyfriends were like warm blankets on a cool day. Jax is fire, an inferno that burns me inside and out.

My other lovers fade away as Jax’s eyes pin me.

Linking my legs behind him, I press my heels into his back and bring him closer, his crowned tip surging just a little deeper.

I moan and wiggle beneath him, but he stills. Narrowing my eyes, I huff out a breath. “Are you deliberately trying to torture me?”

He laughs against my neck and then pulls out. Pulls out! I groan, and I sound loud and needy, but I don’t care. I’m about to toss him out of my bed when he rubs himself all along my wetness again, and I nearly lose my mind.

Finally, finally, he sinks into me.

I gasp, barely able to think as he stretches me to the brink.

“Oh, fuck,” he groans. “So tight. So good, babe.”

When our thighs meet and he’s fully seated and I think my eyes are going to roll back in my head, he stills, and I’m guessing it’s because he’s as turned on as I am. I’ve never come before from rocking out the missionary position, but holy hell, he feels amazing.

Sighing, he pulls back and gently returns, slow and steady, soft and gentle. It’s sweet for our first time together, but remembering his words downstairs, I pull his earlobe between my teeth and tug before I remind him, “Hard and fast.”

Jax gives me a devilish grin. “You are the perfect fucking girl.”

He pulls out languidly, dragging against my skin, and I’m about to beg for more, but then he slams into me. Both of us groan, and the room is awash in moans and grunts and the slapping of naked skin as he keeps a steady rhythm. I open my legs wider and tilt my hips to take him deeper. He nips my shoulder, and I press my mouth to his neck and taste his sweaty skin.

Rearing up on his knees, he yanks my legs toward him so my ass rests on his thighs. Looking down at where we join, he resumes the pace, and I feel myself chasing the high, reaching for the light at the end of the tunnel, the one I’ve never achieved with any man other than Jax.

Just when I think I can’t take it any more, the intensity of him filling me, he brings my legs up in front of me, folding me in half so that my thighs rest on his chest.

“Jax!” I scream at the new depth, my nails raking down his arms. He whispers into my ear, deliciously naughty words that make me shudder, setting fire to my skin.

My heart thrums wildly in my chest as our naked bodies meld together. I can feel myself coming apart, disintegrating underneath him, but then his hand trails slowly between my breasts, down my belly, across my hip, reaching down between us, brushing ever so gently on the only part of my body that now seems to exist.

Another soft brush of his finger, and I scream as I come. I writhe beneath him as he throbs inside of me, hot and thick, stretching into me as he finds his release.

He groans my name as we rock together. And nothing has ever felt as right as the two of us locked together like this.

For a while, we lie there, connected and panting and sweaty. When we can finally breathe again, he presses his forehead to mine and smiles.

“There’s one more thing you should know.” His voice is scratchy and deep. Post-sex Jax is even sexier with hair that goes every which way and skin that glistens along the ridges of his hard muscles. But really, that adorable smile on his face and the way he looks at me like I’m the center of his universe are what do me in.

I lick my lips, trying to focus on what he’s saying. “What’s that?”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

I arch up and kiss him, stopping to nibble on his lip. Then it’s my turn to smile. “It’s about time.”

J
ax is
quiet on the ride to the mall, but he wound his fingers through mine the moment we jumped in his SUV, and he’s been stroking my palm with his thumb for the last twenty minutes. And it’s driving me damn near insane with lust.

By the time we reach the parking lot, I have half a mind to jump him in his seat, but I don’t want to ruin his plans. He wants to hang out in all the places my mom and I enjoyed, so I’ve brought him to our number one spot. The Old Orchard Mall.

“Are you sure
this
is what you want to do today?” I ask skeptically as we mill about by the indoor fountain.

“Yup.” He tucks me under his arm and kisses my forehead. “But you need to narrate our trip. Tell me where you two went. What you loved. What made you guys laugh.”

Tears prick my eyes, and I blink them back. I’m not sure if they’re from the sudden rush of emotion I get from remembering my mom or how my heart fills with love for Jax, but I’m overwhelmed nonetheless.

We haven’t had sex since New Year’s Eve a week ago. But it hasn’t fazed him. He’s been nothing but amazing. Cleaning the house. Helping me go through my mom’s stuff. Calling Susan for recipes and attempting to make me dinner. And as hard as it’s been, I haven’t slept with him since. I wanted space. I wanted to give him the opportunity to back away from this if he had just gotten too caught up. Because people make mistakes. And I don’t want to be one of his. Nor him mine.

So each night I’ve slept nestled against him, and we talk until exhaustion overpowers us. And each morning I look into his eyes and wonder if he’ll view at me differently, maybe with regret or indecision. But he wakes with a grin on his face and my name on his lips. With his hands in my hair and his breath on my skin. Like he can’t get enough. Like he misses me even though we’re snuggled together under the covers. Well, like he loves me.

I sniffle, and he turns me in his arms. “Dandelion, I’m sorry. Maybe this is a bad idea.” He wipes an escaping tear as he holds my face. “I wanted to learn about your mom. To learn more about you. I love seeing you in your home so much, I thought if you showed me places you enjoyed growing up, I could—“

“Oh my God. Stop.” I place my lips on his for a soft kiss. More tears fall while I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his chest.

He strokes my hair, and we stand in the middle of the mall as people pass around us. I close my eyes and breathe him in.

“I love you too, Jax.” A part of me feels bad that I haven’t told him yet, but I wanted to make sure that he meant what he said the other night. That it hadn’t just slipped out because we were naked.

But now I know he means it, and I want him to know I’ve never loved another man more.

At first, I don’t think he hears me, but then he laughs, squeezing me tighter before he leans down and brushes his lips against mine. “Thank God.”

I giggle, and he kisses me deeper before some guy barks, “Get a room!”

We pull away from each other and laugh, and I dare say Jax’s cheeks look flushed.

“Are you blushing, Jax Avery?” I ask as I tuck my arm through his.

“Nah. It’s hot in here. I’m wearing layers.” He keeps his eyes trained straight ahead, but his lips curl up.

“Hmm. I’m going to call bullshit. I think you blushed.”

“Men don’t blush, babe.”

“You’ll forgive me if I have to test that theory.” I lead him around a pack of sorority girls who stare at my boyfriend like he’s a steak and they’ve been on a steady diet of twigs and berries. The best part? He never glances their way. Ha! #BiteMeBitches

“Be my guest, Dandelion.”

I grin to myself as I spot the store I need because I’m going to need some good ammunition to make this boy blush. I pull Jax to a stop and turn him toward the mecca of sugary goodness.

“I need to do a little shopping, sweetie pie.” I peck him on the cheek. “So while I make a quick stop, you need to stand in that line over there and get us two caramel Pecanbons, which were my mom’s favorite.”

“Cinnabon, huh? I like this plan.”

“I like you.” I lean up to kiss him.

“No, you love me.” He’s joking, but there’s something in his eyes that completely melts me.

Grinning, I pull away. “I do. And I plan to show you just how much.”

He tries to grab me, but I dart away, laughing. Tonight is going to be epic.

* * *

P
eeking around the corner
, I see Jax sprawled on the couch, watching a basketball game. The room is dark, illuminated only by the flickering light from the TV.

I know he must be tired. After our trip to the mall, he shoveled the remaining snow out of the driveway and trimmed several branches in the backyard that looked like they might collapse on the porch. Then, right before we sat down for dinner, I found a present on the kitchen counter. All it said was “To Dandelion” in Jax’s blocky handwriting. Beneath the pale pink wrapping paper, I found a new leather journal.

When I glanced up, I found Jax watching me. “I didn’t mean to look in your journal. I’m sorry I had it all this time.”

My heart beat in a crazy rhythm as we stared at each other, but then Susan knocked on the front door, so all I did was give him a quick hug to say thanks.

But now we’re alone. And now I can’t wait to show him
his
present.

Jax just took a shower, and his damp hair is sitting at crazy angles. I can’t help but think of the one we took together at his apartment. How he let me cry on his shoulder. How he held me and whispered soothing words to calm me down before he sank to his knees and placed his mouth on me.

The memory makes my heart race. As I stare at him, the longing in my chest becomes almost unbearable. I tiptoe farther into the living room, and he looks up. His eyes widen as he takes in the fact that I’m only wearing a t-shirt.

“Jax, do you like lingerie?”

He clears his throat. “Babe, I’m a guy. All guys love that stuff. But you don’t need lingerie. You’re rocking out the t-shirt just fine.”

I frown. “Oh, well, then maybe I didn’t need to get this.” I pull off my shirt, and Jax sucks in a breath.

The lacy black baby doll barely comes to the top of my thighs. The room is cold, and my nipples tighten, and I know he can see the silver hoops beneath the thin fabric. My fingers toy with the hot pink bow between my breasts as I wait for him to say something. When he doesn’t, I chew my bottom lip. The back! He needs to see the back!

I twirl around and then bend over slightly so he can see the frilly panties. Glancing at him over my shoulder, I put on a pout. “So… You’d rather I wear the t-shirt?”

“Get over here.”

Laughing, I shake my head. “I don’t know. As I recall, you’ve kept me waiting a time or two.” I rest my hand on my hip as though I really mean to scold him.

“Right the fuck now, Danielle.”

Before I can come up with a witty reply, he reaches out and yanks me onto his lap so that I’m straddling him. He leans up to kiss me, but I pull away. “Impatient, are we?”

“Babe, you’re asking for it.” A growl escapes his lips. “I’m going to fuck you six ways from Sunday if you’re not careful.”

I had intended to use this moment to prove my theory that guys can blush. Instead, my breath shallows, and my body feels feverish from the way he’s looking at me. I press my hips down and grind against the hardness beneath me. “Promise?”

His devilish grin makes me throb harder. “Boy Scout’s honor.”

I smack his shoulder. “You were never a Boy Scout.”

He laughs and pulls me closer. “Wanna bet?”

Jax dips his head to my chest. Before I can blink, one hand is fisting my hair and the other is plumping my breast into his mouth. But what kills me, what sets me on fire, is how he keeps his eyes trained on mine.

His tongue flicks at the metal hoop through the fabric of my nighty as my hands grip his biceps.

When I can’t take it any longer, I tug on his t-shirt, which he whips off before he reaches for the hem of my top. He flings it off me, and I reach down to unbuckle his jeans. My fingers tremble as they unsnap the button, and I’m surprised when his big hands wrap around my wrists to still me.

“Baby, as much as I want this, we don’t have to. If you want more time, if this is too much, we can wait.” He closes his eyes, and I’m struck by how his whole body is taut, like it’s taking everything in him to stop our momentum. “I shouldn’t have pushed you the other night. I’m sorry. I got carried away, and—“

I answer him with a kiss as I push him down on the couch and press my body along the length of his. “I’m ready.” I run my tongue along the seam of his lips. “I love you. I want this. Just as much as you do.”

“I love you too, babe.” He groans as our mouths fit together, and he fists my hair again. I reach down between us and stroke him over his jeans as I suck his tongue to the same rhythm. And just like that, we’re feverish to get the rest of our clothes off. He tugs down his pants, and I kick off my undies until there’s nothing between us.

Tilting my head, I let my long hair tumble to the side. His name falls from my lips as I widen my thighs and press myself down until he is wedged perfectly against the apex of my thighs. I rub against him slowly. We stare down where our bodies meet, and the sight makes me grind down harder.

His fingers grip my hip to still my motion before he reaches over and pulls a condom from his jeans. Once it’s on, I angle him toward me.

As I sink down, he moans. “Fucking fuck, you feel good.” I’d love to revel in the fact that I’m making him fall apart, but all I can mumble is “mmm.”

I still to get used to his invading size, but after a minute, I want more and sink down as far as I can go, and we both groan at the sensation.

My skin is flushed and damp from sweat as our bodies begin moving against each other. Leaning down, I kiss him, and his hands tangle in my hair.

And it’s at this very moment that my head decides to freak out.

I still have another year of school to go, and Jax is graduating in a few months. Doesn’t that kind of thing screw up relationships, especially since he’s been talking about signing with a professional soccer team?

The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them. “What happens after you graduate? If you sign with a team, you’ll go on the road.”

Jax stills beneath me and reaches up to tuck my hair behind my ear. “You know that answer.” He stares long and hard into my eyes before he pulls my mouth to his for a gentle kiss. “We stay together.” He holds my face with both of his hands. “Because you’re what makes me want everything else.”

Tears fill my eyes and I collapse on top of him and bury my face in his neck. His arms wrap around me, and we lie there entwined.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as his hand rubs up and down my back. “It’s is a stupid time to talk about this.”

“Sweetheart, being together is the only thing that matters to me. We’ll figure out the rest.”

I turn and kiss him, for minutes or hours, I can’t tell. All I know is I get lost in the way he tastes, in the way our bodies meld together. And then he flexes his hips, and the swelling sensation between my legs has me desperate all over again. Even though I just had this weird emotional break down and I should probably be embarrassed, when I look in Jax’s eyes, all I see is his love for me.

He holds the back of my neck as he shifts so we’re on our sides. His hand wraps around my thigh as he tugs it up over his hip, and he presses deeper into me.

His thigh slips between mine until our legs are scissored together, and my breath catches. I’ve never had sex like this, twisted around another person so intensely that I can’t tell where I end and he begins. Everything—from the way our breaths mingle to how his fingers are twined through mine as he looks into my eyes—tells me this is love.

I’m pinned by his stare, the intensity unraveling the part of me that’s been afraid. All week, I’ve been waiting to be disappointed. Waiting for him to change his mind. But right now I feel anchored to him, like he’s my mooring. Like I’m his. And just like that, my fears melt away. I don’t know what’s going to happen, what the future holds, but I do know I want to take this journey with him.

Jax nips my shoulder as he slowly pushes in and out of me. His arm wraps tightly around my thigh, hugging me to him, and I can’t get close enough. The drag of his skin against mine is so exquisite, the throb between my legs intensifying until everything inside of me tightens and pulses, and I’m falling apart. With a scream, I gasp, and a moment later, he tenses as he comes.

The room is quiet but for the sound of our heaving breaths. Jax runs his hand along my back in a slow drag, pressing the tips of his fingers into my skin. Although exhaustion weighs all of my muscles, I reach up and thread my fingers through his sweaty hair, and he murmurs his approval.

“Jax,” I whisper, “thanks for coming to Chicago to find me.”

I close my eyes as he pulls me closer, and I nestle my head against his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

“Dandelion, I’m starting to think you’re the one who found me.”