Death By Bourbon (6 page)

Kentuckians howl with righteous indignation if outsiders refer to us as a violent,
quarrelsome people . . . but we are. In fact, we are the only state in the nation
with the dubious reputation to have assassinated our duly elected governor. On the
sidewalk to the State Capitol of the morning of January 30, 1900, some Republicans
decided that they didn’t want a Democrat governor, so they shot the man instead. Who
cares what the voters wanted.

But he got the last word – really. William Justus Goebel was sworn in as governor
on his deathbed. But in the end, it didn’t matter. Goebel died on February 3
^rd
allegedly whispering these great words before the grim reaper took him, “Tell my
friends to be brave, fearless and loyal to the common people.”

Of course, everyone knows what Goebel really said after eating his last dinner of
raw oysters was, “Doc, that was a damned bad oyster.”

Doesn’t have quite the same noble ring to it, does it?

Why bring up Goebel now?

I always say – if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck . .
. it’s a duck. You’ll understand this comparison later in my tale of mayhem.

Besides, Goebel was late to his own funeral. Instead of the body going from Frankfort
to Covington on the L&N line, the body had to be transported to Louisville, across
the river to Indiana, then to Cincinnati, across the river again to Covington and
then back the same route to Frankfort on the Queen and Crescent Railroad. The L&N
owners hated Goebel and refused their service. Talk about petty.

Just as Goebel was late to his funeral, I was late to Addison DeWitt’s.

Jake was having trouble finding a handicapped parking space. It seemed like all of
Doreen’s friends were infirm, so I got out and left Jake to park where he could. I
wheeled my chair to the back of the memorial service for Addison DeWitt at the church
on Market Street, hoping to be inconspicuous so I could snoop.

A couple of pews in front of me sat Detective Goetz, hoping to do the same. He was
writing names in his worn out little notebook while I was sure someone else was taking
down license plate numbers outside.

Hmmmmmm. Didn’t Goetz tell me that he thought DeWitt’s death was due to natural causes?
Maybe the coroner had come up with a different view of things but I knew it was too
soon for the report to be finished. What gives?

Up front sat Lady Elsmere, with Meriah and Matt behind Doreen who was making little
whimpering noises as her daughter tried to comfort her. Lady Elsmere reached over
the pew and sympathetically patted Doreen on the shoulder. Just like June. She so
liked to be in the thick of things.

I must admit this was my first Episcopalian funeral. You know my views on the
Twenty-Third Psalm
at funerals. I was hoping against hope that it would not be repeated here. Oooops!
I was wrong. A priest began reciting it.

I let out a long sigh, which was heard by Goetz, who swiveled around in his seat.
Upon seeing me, he also let out a sigh.

Was that due to me?

He got up from his pew and sat beside me in a very uncomfortable stack chair. “Whaddya
doing here?” he whispered.

“Why are you here?” I asked. “You said DeWitt’s death was probably a heart attack.
Coroner say differently?”

“See that girl crying in the corner over there?” replied Goetz. “I shouldn’t be telling
you this, but she has been hounding my office since DeWitt died and claiming that
Mrs. DeWitt had something to do with his death.”

“Really!!!!” I gave the young woman sobbing into her handkerchief a very good study.
“Why are you telling me?”

“Because I don’t want you poking your nose in this. If I tell you stuff, you have
to keep it confidential and promise you won’t go around stirring up things.”

“What if I do tell someone?”

Goetz gave a very smarmy smile. “Then I’ll arrest you for interfering. And I would,
too; don’t think I wouldn’t.”

“How about this? If I hear something interesting . . . now just listen . . . from
my friends, let’s say, then I tell you. It’s quid pro quo. You tell me what’s going
on with O’nan. I know your department is keeping tabs on him somewhat.”

Goetz’s hound dog face looked thoughtful for a moment. “Okay. Information for information,
but only if someone volunteers something – like at a dinner party. I don’t want you
to go around asking people questions, getting them all riled up.”

“I will be a beacon of discretion. You just keep me informed about O’nan.” I held
out my pinky finger. “Pinky swear.” Wiggling my finger, I demanded, “Pinky swear!”

The Detective looked around to see if anyone was watching and then wrapped his pinky
with mine. We shook.

“By the way, who is the crying Madonna over there?”

“She says she was DeWitt’s girlfriend and he was going to leave Mrs. DeWitt. Her name
is Lacey Bridges.”

“That’s a motive for murder,” I cautioned.

“Not if you read the prenup,” replied Goetz. “DeWitt had no money. If he had left
his wife for another woman, he would have walked out with just the clothes on his
back.”

“Maybe Doreen really loved him.”

Goetz smiled. “Come on. Really? Always the romantic. That’s what I like about you,
Josiah. In many ways, you’re an innocent. True love? What bull.”

“So if he walked, Doreen would not have to give him any money,” I said thoughtfully.
“Maybe I’m right. She loved him and killed him in a fit of jealousy.”

Goetz shook his head. “DeWitt bought two tickets to Venice for the following week.”

“See there. He was running away with his girlfriend.”

“Nope. He was taking Mrs. DeWitt on a second honeymoon. Made a big deal of it at the
old lady’s party. He wasn’t about to leave his cozy nest.”

“Maybe that was a cover for what he was really going to do, which was leave Doreen?”

“Doesn’t fit. He initiated buying the airplane tickets. He was trying to keep his
wife happy.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“This is the last of the man-hours I can spare on this case. If something concrete
doesn’t show up soon, the case is going to be closed as death due to heart failure.
There is no evidence to the contrary.”

“I see.”

“What?”

“I understand . . . it is just that the room felt so creepy. I can’t explain it but
something besides a simple heart attack was occurring. I understand, though, why you
might need to move on.”

“Right. I can’t use a ‘creepy feeling’ as evidence to continue a case.” With that
last word, Goetz rose and went outside.

I wanted to ask Goetz another question. Why were the police called? When there is
a medical emergency, 911 is called for an ambulance. The police don’t show up unless
there is foul play suspected and it’s usually the paramedics who call it in. But the
paramedics and Officer Kelly arrived about the same time – so who called the police
. . . and better yet – why? I made a mental note to find out.

Without me realizing it, the memorial service had ended and people were starting to
rise and meander down the aisle. The priest announced the church had prepared food
and drink for the bereaved.

Things were looking up.

I waited for everyone to pass. Matt stopped by and asked if he could wheel me but
I shook my head. It was easier for me to wait until after everyone else was settled.
I didn’t like getting in the ambulatory folks’ way. It was rude.

Waiting at least ten minutes, I started for the food when I heard, “Excuse me. Can
I talk to you?”

I looked up and saw the young mourner for Addison. She was looking bright-eyed and
hopeful. “My name is Lacey Bridges. Please, I need to talk with you, Mrs. Reynolds.”

“How do you know who I am?”

She gave a knowing look. “Oh come on. Everyone knows who you are.”

“Really?”

“I don’t mean to be impertinent, but I need to talk with you.”

“About what?”

“The police won’t listen. At least they won’t listen to me.” Lacey pulled a chair
over so she was on eye level with me. “I know Doreen killed Addison. I just don’t
know how.”

“Do you know why?”

Her young pretty face glowed with anticipation. She reminded me of a pretty Christmas
tree before the limbs started to droop. “Yes, I do.”

“Doreen killed him out of jealousy?”

“NO!” protested Lacey, frustrated. “She killed him because of greed.”

“Greed?”

“This is what I can’t get the police to understand. Doreen wanted to divorce Addison.
She was tired of him but she couldn’t divorce him because if she did, she would have
to pay him a settlement if she filed without proof of abuse or adultery. That’s why
she hired me. She wanted me to seduce Addison and provide her with proof of adultery
so she could divorce him without giving him a dime. It’s all in the prenup.”

“Your story is rather fantastic. What went wrong? You fall in love with Addison?”

“Yes, terribly. I wanted to marry him. I destroyed any evidence of him cheating and
confronted Doreen about it.”

“Did he know about Doreen hiring you?”

Lacey shook her head while wiping her dripping nose.

“Well, my dear, that is a cute story but there is one flaw. Addison had no intention
of divorcing his wife. In fact, he was taking her on a trip to Venice to celebrate
their marriage, a sort of second honeymoon. It was his idea and he bought the tickets.”

“You’re lying. He loved me. He was going to tell her.”

“When the moment was right?”

Lacey nodded her head. The light streamed through the stained glass windows, giving
her an ethereal glow.

Sighing, I said, “That right moment might have taken years. Men are notorious about
not telling their wives about their mistresses . . . except for my husband. The actress
Yvonne DeCarlo said, ‘Men, no matter what their promises, rarely leave their spouses
. . . the louses.’ “

The young woman started backing away and pointed a finger at me. “He . . . he loved
me. He was going to tell her. You’re just like all the rest . . . trying to trip me
up.”

“Ask yourself this. If he had asked for a divorce, would he have received a settlement?”

“No,” Lacey whispered.

“I’m sorry, young lady. He may have loved you, but he was not going to leave Doreen
and her money anytime soon,” I said, but I was talking to empty air. Lacey was gone.
Somewhere a door slammed. I blew out a wad of air from my cheeks. Suddenly losing
my appetite, I wheeled myself outside and called Jake from my cell phone. He’d parked
down the street.

Within a moment, the car was in front of the church and Jake had a big grin on his
face. He was happy to see me.

Oh Lord. Could I trust him? Would he break my heart like Lacey’s was broken now?

Probably.

I would just have to stand it when the time came.

Before we headed home, we stopped at Franklin’s apartment. He was not returning my
calls and, frankly, I was very worried.

Jake knocked on the door while I waited in the car. Minutes passed but no one answered
the door. Jumping over the porch railing, Jake headed for the back where he was going
to break in. I waited tensely in the car praying, “Oh please Franklin, don’t have
done something stupid.”

It seemed forever until the front door was opened by Franklin with Jake holding him
up by his shirt collar. “Alright. Alright,” hissed Franklin. “Let go, you big monkey.”

I rolled down the car window. “You can be such a shit, Franklin, making me worry so.”

“Come on in,” said Franklin. “It is obvious that I can’t keep you out.”

An angry looking Jake pushed past Franklin and after opening the car door, picked
me up and carried me into the house. Gently he placed me in one of Franklin’s chintz
chairs.

“Why haven’t you returned my calls?”

Franklin plopped down in a chair across from me. “You know why. I needed time to lick
my wounds.”

“For what it’s worth, I think Matt is making a big mistake,” I replied.

“You think that. I think that. What do you think, Jake?”

“I think he should try this marriage with Meriah. It’s more socially acceptable. He
can have his own children. It’s just less trouble over all.”

“Oh, who in the hell asked you!” wailed Franklin.

“You did.”

I turned around and gave Jake a big frown. Jake shrugged and retreated to the kitchen.

“What are you going to do, Franklin?” I asked.

Reaching into his pocket, Franklin pulled out a handkerchief and blew his nose. “I’m
not going to become one of those screaming meanies who takes his business all over
the streets. And I’m certainly not going to stay in town during the wedding.”

“I see you have some bags packed by the door.”

“I’m going on a long cruise. Josiah, I can’t stay around here. I’ll just fall apart.
By the time I get back, I will have cried this all out. I am going to embarrass neither
Matt nor myself by being hysterical, which is what I feel at the moment. Best I leave
until I can contain myself.”

“What did you say when Matt told you?”

“I was stunned. I thought, maybe another man, but marrying a woman and Meriah Caldwell
on top of that? It just blew my mind. I told him he was making a mistake but that
I wished him well. Then I asked him to leave.”

Franklin blew his nose again. “You know what he said after that? He hoped we could
stay friends. Friends! What a joke,” Franklin sniffled.

“I tried to talk him out of marrying but Matt is determined.”

Franklin folded his handkerchief and placed it back in his pocket. “Thank you for
that. I just didn’t want to see anyone. It’s so humiliating. I mean . . . the money
I have spent on bridal magazines would have paid for a car.”

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“That’s right. You got dumped too.”

In the kitchen I heard Jake snicker.

“Is there anything I can do?” I asked, ignoring his remark.

Franklin looked at his watch. “Can you take me to the airport? My plane leaves in
two hours. I might as well go to the airport now.”