Death hits the fan (32 page)

Ramona, I translated in my mind. That's right, Ramona was Ruth. And I hoped the captain of the Verduras Police Department wasn't going to blame me for the phony Raymonds.

"An interesting man," Captain Xavier went on. "Especially to your friend Ingrid." He winked again. I tried to wink back, not quite sure what we were supposed to be communicating, but hoping it was friendly. "By the way, Ingrid did ask me to tell you she wants her backpack returned if I were to see you."

"Really?" I yipped. Happy endorphins flooded my brain. "That's great. I mean—"

I flinched again.

"Sorry about your brother—" I started over.

"Hey, what sorry?" the captain whispered in my ear. "Don't tell the voters, but I never could stand my little brother. Except battered and fried maybe." This time at least, I knew what he was winking about.

Then he smiled his Xavier smile, and proceeded to shake

my hand in his smooth one, before making the rounds, shaking everyone's hands and saying his goodbyes.

A warm, rough hand grabbed mine not long after Captain Xavier had abandoned it. But it wasn't the captain back for seconds. It was Wayne.

"You heard the man," my sweetie muttered.

"What?" I said, still too dazed from my encounter with the man who I was sure would soon be mayor to understand my sweetie's meaning.

"Ingrid is tangoing with Raoul," Wayne whispered. "She's really gone. Forever."

"And?"

Wayne was trying to tell me something. I could feel it in his urgent grip. I could even taste it on his pastry-sweetened lips pressing my own suddenly.

"We can go home now, Kate," he added after a moment of sugar-coated bliss. "Home."

"Well, shick, a deduction," I said in awe. "What a wonderful fuddin' deduction."

We beat Captain Cal out the door by a step, and ran through the rain to our car.

LEPRECHAUN SAUCE

Ingredients:

il, sage, rosemary and thyme sby sausage or minced, marinated

1

1 ti 4 ouno

tofu 1 15-oz can vegetable broth 1 tablespoon dark sesame oil

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

2 tablespoons maple syrup

1 tablespoon hot prepared mustard

Leftover vegetables (optional)

1 tablespoon cornstarch dissolved in 2 tablespoons

cold water

282

£>

Jaqueline Girdner

Directions:

1. Cook onion, garlic, parsley, herbs, soy sausage or tofu in sesame oil and 1/2 cup of vegetable broth until wilted. (5-10 minutes)

2. Stir in Worcestershire, maple syrup, hot mustard, remaining vegetable broth, and leftover vegetables if desired.

3. Thicken with cornstarch.

4. Serve over rice, pasta, or 1 boiled leprechaun.

Yield: 4 servings

(Note: No leprechauns were harmed in the preparation of this recipe.)

flCfWtHMUIS

JAQUELINE GIRDNER is the author of ten Kate Jasper mystery novels: Adjusted to Death, The Last Resort Murder Most Mellow, Fat-Free and Fatal, Tea-Totally Dead, A Stiff Critique, Most Likely to Die, A Cry for Self-Help, Death Hits the Fan, and Murder on the Astral Plane. Jaqueline has been a psychiatric aide, a family law attorney, and an incorrigible entrepreneur during her forty-seven years in California. Her enterprises have included both a pinball refurbishing business and Jest Cards, a greeting card company. Jaqueline lives, works, practices tai chi, and eats her vegetables in Marin County, California, along with her favorite computer peripheral, husband Gregory Booi.