Death of a Pumpkin Carver (18 page)

“Mona Barnes, please tell me you are not eating food in my car!” Liddy barked, eyeing her suspiciously through the rear view mirror of her brand spanking new black Mercedes E Class Sedan.

“Nope,” Mona said from the backseat, waiting for Liddy to avert her eyes back to the road before shoving her hand into the crinkled bag of Lay's Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips again that was sitting in her lap, and extracting a generous handful of chips.

She quickly shoved them into her mouth.

“Mona!”

“What?” Mona sighed, swallowing and then licking her greasy fingertips.

“You just lied to my face!”

“No, I lied to the back of your head.”

“It's a figure of speech! The point is you lied! You are clearly snacking back there and probably getting crumbs all over my new leather upholstery!”

“You were the one who insisted we drive in your new car,” Mona said, crumpling the now empty bag of chips and tossing the trash in the empty seat next to her.

“That's because Hayley's car wouldn't have made the two hour trip and the only alternative was all of us squeezing into the front of your dilapidated old wreck of a truck!”

Hayley, who was wearing earbuds and listening to an audio book version of a Jo Nesbo crime thriller on her smartphone, yanked the buds out of her ear and swiveled around in the passenger's seat to address her BFFs. “What kind of girls' weekend are we going to have if you two are fighting the whole time?”

“I had one request, just one request before agreeing to drive us, and that was no eating in my new car. So what does Mona do? She scarfs down a bag of chips even before we've crossed the Trenton Bridge and left the island!”

“Well, you were the one who said we couldn't stop at McDonald's on the way. I was afraid I'd starve!” Mona growled.

“I said no fast food. I'm totally open to a quaint, tasteful little side of the road restaurant,” Liddy huffed.

“There are no quaint, tasteful little side of the road restaurants on the way to Calais, Liddy,” Hayley said, smiling.

“I rest my case,” Mona said before reaching into the pocket of her gray sweatshirt and pulling out a Snickers bar, which she noisily unwrapped.

Liddy's blood boiled as she whipped her head around to glare at Mona, whose lips were smudged with chocolate as she chewed on a generous hunk of the candy bar.

“Liddy!” Hayley yelled. “Watch out!”

The Mercedes swerved back across the yellow line as Liddy jerked the wheel to the right narrowly missing a blue Ford truck approaching fast from the opposite direction. The driver pressed angrily on the horn.

“Can you
please
pay attention? I'd like to live long enough to at least see Salmon Cove,” Hayley said, exhaling a sigh of relief now that the car was back to moving in a forward straight line.

Salmon Cove, Maine was a small remote fishing village located in the farthest reaches of Down East Maine near the town of Calais. When the three of them had initially discussed going on a weekend getaway during Bar Harbor's busiest time of year, in mid-July, the last place on their minds was Salmon Cove. Liddy pushed hard for them to go to Martha's Vineyard, but that was a bit pricey for her more frugal friends. Hayley's suggestion of going on a shopping trip to Portland was met with bored yawns. They already did that three or four times a year.

Finally, it was Mona who came up with Salmon Cove. She had gone there practically every summer when she was a kid. Her family owned a cabin in the woods near the scenic waterfront. The family would go fishing and swimming and play games for two whole weeks. Mona even learned her lobstering skills from a local boy whose family had a boat and a small business nearby. By the time she graduated from high school, Mona was ready to set up her own shop in Bar Harbor. Mona's Uncle Cecil still owned the cabin. Mona's father sold it to his brother after suffering a stroke. Traveling to Salmon Cove wasn't as easy as it had been for the family so they were happy to get rid of it. Mona hadn't been back since.

Mona had recently heard through relatives that her Uncle Cecil was currently visiting an old Army buddy in Arizona and so the place was just sitting there empty. She emailed Cecil, and he quickly wrote back that he was happy to offer his cabin to Mona for a few days. Hayley honestly loved the idea of not having to split a hotel room. That would leave an ample amount of spending money for decadent seafood banquets and plenty of strong cocktails. Liddy wasn't sold on the idea of a weekend in the boonies and tried to bow out of the trip altogether, but then circumstances changed.

Liddy split up with her boyfriend Sonny Rivers, a local attorney.

Or they were just taking a break.

That actually was the official story from Liddy.

But according to Sonny, it was over.

He was done.

And Liddy had yet to accept that cold hard fact.

But suddenly the idea of getting out of town had much more appeal.

And Liddy jumped on board at the last minute, insisting on driving them all to Salmon Cove in her new Mercedes that she had recently purchased in Bangor, which many in town believed was her way of trying to cheer herself up.

Hayley had pulled Mona aside before they left and made her promise not to mention the break up during their vacation and Mona agreed.

That lasted about twenty minutes into the trip.

“What you need, Liddy, is to find a new boyfriend so he can help you get that big stick out of your butt,” Mona said from the backseat.

“I don't need a new boyfriend because Sonny and I have not broken up. Like I've said over and over again, we're just taking a break.”

“You can say it until you're blue in the face, but nobody's going to believe you,” Mona said, popping the remainder of the candy bar into her mouth and then scrunching the wrapper into her fist before stuffing it in the seat pocket in front of her. “Why do you think he dumped you, was it the age difference?”

Hayley wanted to fling open the car door and jump out.

Liddy cringed. “No, Mona. Age had nothing to do with our decision to
take a break
!”

“Come on! It's like Maggie Smith dating the kid who played Harry Potter!” Mona howled.

Liddy gripped the wheel, her knuckles white, gritting her teeth, ready to burst a blood vessel.

“Can we
please
change the subject?” Hayley begged.

Mona shrugged, and wiped the chocolate off her face with the arm of her sweatshirt.

“Go ahead and eat all the snacks you smuggled into my car, Mona. I have no problem with that.”

“What changed your mind?” Mona asked, curious.

“I'm hoping even you have enough good manners not to talk with your mouth full,” Liddy sniffed.

“Don't bet on it,” Hayley said, turning to see Mona tearing open a package of beef jerky.

Luckily by the time they had reached Machais on Coastal Route 1 Mona had passed out and was snoring loud enough that Liddy felt the need to crank the volume on her radio and blast 90s classics the rest of the way to Calais.

Hayley and Liddy bopped up and down in their seats singing along to their favorite Spice Girls song.

“
Just tell me what you want, what you really, really want . . .
”

The cabin was just fifteen minutes outside of Calais and when they reached the town they had to wake Mona up from her slumber to guide them the rest of the way. Mona was grumpy and groggy but she managed to get them there, and when they finally pulled up to the cabin that was at the end of a gravel road and tucked into a secluded wooded area, Hayley and Liddy's mouths dropped open in shock.

It was a dump.

The whole structure tilted to one side as if it was ready to collapse.

A tarp had been hastily thrown over the entire roof undoubtedly to cover any holes where rainfall or snow might leak inside.

There were empty beer cans littering the property.

A rusted out Volkswagen bus with no tires in the back.

A pitiful pile of wood stacked up against a wall.

“We're here!” Mona said, jumping out of the car. “Pop the trunk, Liddy and I'll take our bags inside.”

Hayley turned to Liddy, who sat frozen in the driver's seat of her Mercedes, unable to move. “I know it's not the Ritz Carlton. But it's not so bad. It has a certain charm.”

Liddy didn't respond.

She just stared at the cabin as Mona, bogged down with her duffel bag and one of Liddy's Luis Vitton carry-ons, tried pushing her way through the front door that was obviously jammed. After a few tries, it creaked open and she disappeared inside.

“Maybe it looks completely different inside,” Hayley said brightly, trying her best to be encouraging.

She persuaded Liddy to get out of the car and to at least go inside.

They joined Mona in the cabin.

Liddy looked around. “You're right, Hayley. It's completely different. It's worse.”

It wasn't that bad.

It was recently swept and there was a full bed with clean sheets in one corner and bunk beds in another corner. The tiny kitchen at least appeared clean. No dirty dishes in the sink. And there was a small refrigerator where they could store food.

But it was small.

And calling the place no frills was being generous.

“This sure brings back a lot of happy memories,” Mona said, beaming.

Liddy refrained from commenting.

She just kept walking around, taking it in, and sizing it up.

She suddenly stopped and turned to Mona. “Where's the bathroom?”

“There isn't one,” Mona said casually.

“What do you mean there isn't a bathroom?” Liddy asked, aghast.

“I mean there isn't one. There's an outhouse out back!”

That's when Liddy lost it.

She grabbed her Luis Vitton carry on that Mona had deposited next to the door and stormed out. “I did not sign up for a
Little House on the Prairie
weekend! We are not Laura Ingalls Wilder and her two dirt poor sisters!”

“Not you, for sure. You're more like that spoiled brat Nellie Olsen!” Mona bellowed as Liddy slammed out the door and marched back to her Mercedes.

“Hurry up! Let's go! We're checking into a hotel!” Liddy screamed from outside.

Hayley didn't want to side with Liddy and hurt Mona's feelings, but she too couldn't imagine actually using a creaky old smelly outhouse.

And she definitely couldn't imagine in that moment that using an outhouse would soon be the least of their troubles.