Deborah Camp (34 page)

“Yes.” She stared at the fabric flowers on the brim of her bonnet and her vision blurred with tears. “He yearns for his old life, I think. He’s made the best of this situation, but I don’t think he’s completely satisfied with it. I
believe he cares for me, but his feelings for me won’t keep him on Primrose.”

“So don’t tell him.”

“What?” She blinked away her tears and stared at Theo. “You think I should keep this news from him?”

“What choice do you have? If you want to keep him on Primrose, then don’t tell him.”

“But that’s dishonest. It would be cruel of me,” she said, but a part of her liked the idea.

“Precisely,” Theo said. “It would be cruel, Zanna. If you love him as much as you say you do, then shouldn’t you give him his freedom?”

Zanna looked aside, her thoughts traveling back to her childhood when she’d kept the dog tied up before her father’s stern advice about letting the poor hound free. She was doing it again, she thought dismally, thinking only of herself. You’re so selfish! How can you entertain the thought of keeping this wonderful news from the man you love?

“Will you do the right thing for him or for yourself?” Theo asked.

“For … him.” Zanna swallowed hard and raised her bonnet. “Of course, I couldn’t keep this from him. It would be horribly unfair of me.”

“And when he leaves, then what?”

“Then I shall have to face my problems anew.”

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll think of something.” She stood up, brushing wrinkles from her full skirt. “Perhaps Grandy will surprise me and stay on until I can think of another plan.”

“He might. If he’s half the man you say he is, that’s exactly what he’ll do.” Theo came around the desk to take her gloved hands in his. “I can’t help but think you’re headed for heartbreak with this man, Zanna. He’s so unlike you.”

“Not really, Theodore,” she said, shaking her head and
smiling. “As a matter of fact, Grandville and I have much in common.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“That’s because you don’t know him. You only
think
you do. He’s been good for me and good for Primrose. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt blessed for having him around.”

Theo dropped her hands abruptly. “Yes, well, do what you think is best, but I firmly believe you should tell the man of his overturned charges.”

“I’m going to do that,” Zanna assured him, then rested one hand alongside his cheek. “Don’t be angry with me, Theodore. I never set out to hurt your feelings.”

“I’m not angry. I’m concerned.” He bussed her cheek. “Take care.”

“I will. Won’t you come for Sunday dinner after church tomorrow? Please do. It would mean so much to me.”

He hesitated, his lips moving but no sound emerging.

“Theo, I want you to get to know Grandy better. I think you’ll like him once you’ve spent some time around him.”

“Do you think he’ll still be at Primrose?”

“I hope so, and if not, then I’ll most certainly be glad to see you at my dinner table.” She leaned closer, smiling. “I’ll even cook!”

“Cook? You?”

“Yes, me. I’ve learned how and I enjoy it! You’ll come? Can we expect you by one?”

“Yes. I’ll be most happy to sample your cooking.”

“Good.” She squeezed his hands, then turned to leave. At the landing, she saw Perkins pull the loaded wagon to the side of the street. “There’s Perkins,” she said to Theo. “I’ll see you tomorrow, and thank you for your advice. As usual, it’s invaluable.”

Theo stood on the landing and waved at Perkins. “Until tomorrow then.”

Zanna descended the stairs. Perkins jumped down from
the wagon and helped her climb into the seat, then he resumed his place and took up the reins.

“Got all the supplies,” he said. “Anything else before we head back?”

“No.” Zanna waved to Theo as the wagon rolled along the dusty street.

“What did the sheriff want?”

“The sheriff?” she repeated, her mind scurrying for a suitable answer. “Oh, nothing really. You know Sheriff Warwick. He likes to keep his eye on the wives of the hanging husbands. I think he feels a certain responsibility toward us.”

“Maybe so.” Perkins hunched his shoulders and settled in for the ride home.

Zanna twisted away from him so he couldn’t read her expression as her thoughts moved fitfully from the sheriff’s news to how she was going to break it to Grandy.

She was so engrossed in imagining one scenario after another that she was startled when Primrose land swept into view. She straightened on the wagon seat, feeling stiff and uncomfortable. The sun was high and hot, beaming down on the open wagon and its passengers. The two horses were lathered, their shanks foaming white.

“Get one of the others to help you unload,” Zanna told Perkins as he pulled the horses to a halt near the house.

“Yes’m.” Perkins put on the brake, wrapped the reins around it, and jumped down. He lifted his arms and helped Zanna to the ground.

“Thanks, Perkins,” she said, her thoughts moving ahead to her mission.

She went to her bedroom to change and had finished braiding her hair into one long rope when she heard the front door open and close.

“Zanna?”

She smiled into the mirror. “Yes, Grandy. In here.” She stepped into the front room where he stood, looking tired and hot but so very masculine in his damp shirt and
dusty trousers. “My, my! You’ve been working hard, haven’t you?”

He looked down at himself, holding out his arms and slapping his hat against one pants leg to dislodge some grass and leaves. “I’m a sight. I came in for a little dinner.”

“I’ll make you something.” She started for the kitchen, but he caught her hand and pulled her around to face him. His arms encircled her waist and he grinned.

“No need,” he said. “I can make me a couple of biscuit and sausage sandwiches. That’ll do me. There
is
one thing you can do for me.”

“What?” she asked, looking up into his golden eyes and catching her breath at the love that poured through her like summer wine.

“Give this dirty old dirt farmer a kiss, will you?” he asked.

Her good intentions began to melt under the heat of her need. She took a deep breath, telling herself to get on with it and not delay another second. She rested her hands against his shirtfront, the warmth of his skin imbuing her with longing. She tore her gaze from his and stared at a button on his shirt.

“Grandville, I have something to tell you. Something important.”

“How about that kiss?”

“Grandy, I—” Her words were stolen by his mouth on hers. “Mmm,” she moaned, smiling against his lips before his tongue coaxed hers apart.

He tasted of coffee and tobacco. He smelled of rich earth and blue skies. He felt solid and dependable.

Zanna sighed with regret as his mouth pulled free of hers. She leaned her forehead against his scarred chin and wondered if the earth had moved or if Grandy’s kiss had merely upended her for a few moments.

“Now you can tell me,” he said.

“Tell you what?”

“Your news.”

She held her breath for a few moments while right warred with wrong within her. Finally, she released a long sigh and the last shreds of her good intentions.

“Theo will be joining us for dinner tomorrow,” she said, feeling small for giving in to her selfish streak, but surrendering nevertheless. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not. This is your home, Zanna. Yours to invite whatever guests you wish for Sunday dinner.”

She took comfort in his words, telling herself she was right in not revealing the sheriff’s information to him. Grandy had just admitted he didn’t think of Primrose as his home. Surely, he would leave it without a backward glance. He would leave it … and her.

Grandy fastened his hands on her shoulders and held her away so he could look at her.

“Is something wrong?”

“No.” She forced herself to smile brightly. “Will you let me have one of those sausage sandwiches?”

“Why, sure, darlin’. I’m not selfish.”

She was glad that he strode toward the kitchen and didn’t see her grimace of guilt.

“I can’t believe what a fine cook you’ve become,” Theo Booker said, leaning back in the dining room chair and spreading his fingers across his bronze-colored vest. He glanced at the remains of Zanna’s Sunday dinner. “The fried chicken, the potatoes, the peas and carrots, the yeast rolls, and that gravy!” He smacked his lips, making Zanna laugh with delight. “Never have I tasted such exquisite gravy!” He looked at the man seated at the head of the table. “Adams, you must be a skilled teacher.”

“Zanna was a good student,” Grandy said, but inclined his head to accept the compliment.

“How about some berry cobbler for dessert?” Zanna suggested, laughing again when both men moaned. “Too full? Well, we’ll have the cobbler with coffee later.”

“That’s a good idea,” Grandy said. “If you two will excuse me, I think I’ll see to the livestock. By the time I finish, I’ll be ready for that cobbler, Zanna.”

“All right. Need any help?”

“No. You enjoy Theo’s company. I won’t be long.” He squeezed her shoulder affectionately before heading on toward his bedroom to get his field hat and work gloves.

Zanna noticed that Theo, paying particular attention, was listening to determine which bedroom door opened or closed.

“We have separate rooms,” she said, saving Theo the
trouble. “He keeps his things in the spare room, but he sleeps in my bed.”

Theo’s skin turned bright pink and he ran a finger under the collar of his shirt. “I … that’s none of my business.”

“You’re right, but I thought you might want to know. How long Grandville will keep his things in the other room is questionable. I suppose he’s just waiting for my invitation to move everything into my bedroom.”

Again Theo’s color heightened and he glanced nervously toward where Grandy had gone, as if he were afraid of being overheard.

“I take it that his being innocent didn’t make him pack his bags,” Theo said in a whisper.

Zanna bit her lower lip and began stacking dishes. Any discussion of her deceit should wait until Grandy was well away from the house. “If you were a gentleman, Theodore, you’d offer to help me wash and dry these dishes.”

“But of course, I’ll help!” he said, jumping up and grabbing glasses and flatware.

Zanna prepared the dishwater in the kitchen while Theo cleared the dining room table. She washed the dishes in the shallow pan and put them on a cloth for Theo to dry.

The sound of Grandy leaving the house made both Zanna and Theo pause in their tasks. Zanna smiled, realizing that neither of them had attempted conversation.

“I missed you both at Sunday services this morning,” Theo said.

“We … we slept in,” Zanna said, guilt swamping her until she felt ill. Missing church wasn’t her habit, but she hadn’t told Grandy about his freedom and she knew it would be the chief topic in town. “I suppose the news about Grandy has spread.”

“Oh, yes. Everyone was talking about it. Is that why you decided to sleep in, Zanna?” Theo asked. “What was Adams’s reaction to your news?”

She stared into the murky dishwater, ashamed of herself for being so spineless. “You know perfectly well I didn’t
tell him,” she said, frowning. “You knew when I left your office that I wouldn’t tell him—that I would be a chicken about it.”

“I didn’t know for certain, but I suspected as much.” Theo gave a little sigh. “Good intentions are often forsaken for selfish needs.”

“I
am
selfish,” Zanna said. “You needn’t rub my nose in it.”

“Actually, after you left I had a change of heart.”

“How’s that?”

“I thought long and hard and decided it might be best if you don’t tell Adams. It’s time you looked out for yourself. Besides, you saved his life so his life belongs to you.”

Zanna dried her hands on her apron and considered Theo’s new viewpoint. “This morning I realized I must tell him because I can’t keep him away from every other living soul. The news should come from me, not from a stranger or a casual acquaintance.”

“And so you stayed away from town today.”

“Yes, but I’m going to tell him soon—today. Tomorrow at the latest. It’s just that I dread being alone here again, easy prey for Duncan.”

“We’ll think of something.”

“Like we did before?”

“Yes.”

“No, thank you.”

“Our imagining and wishing didn’t kill Fayne,” Theo said. “Besides, Fayne Hathaway was a beast. The world is better now that he’s no longer it in.”

“I know … I know …” She sent him a veiled glance. “But murder,” she whispered. “We plotted his murder, Theodore, as if we had a right!” She shivered again. “It’s hard for to me to imagine … to believe that I reached such a level of desperation.”

He stepped closer to her and put one arm around her shoulders. “We wouldn’t have gone through with it. We’re both too decent, too law-abiding. Murder is beyond us.”

“It’s bad enough that we talked about it.”

“But we didn’t do anything wrong. The lightning did it for us. I like to think we received help from above because someone up there knew we’d never go through with our plan.”

“I was living a lie back then, making the world think I had a good marriage when it was anything but. I don’t want deceit in my life anymore. I want honesty and that’s why I must tell Grandy the truth. I should have told him last night, but I … I was sidetracked.” She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering how gentle he’d been when he’d made love to her and how terrible she’d felt later for being a coward. “And then this morning, I … I …” She sighed. “I’m so weak.”

“Weak? You?” Theo laughed lightly. “Never. You’re just waiting for the right time. This news will change everything, so it’s only natural that you wait until—”

“Theo,” she interrupted. “The only reason I haven’t told him is because I’m frightened that he’ll leave me.”

“But I’ll be here for you,” he said, squeezing her hand.

“Yes, I know.” Though she smiled at him, she felt no comfort in his promise. A world without Grandy held little appeal for her.